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Ode to a Dog

2018-02-27 · letter vlog · John · 3:45 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Health) · mode: Personal update · tags: heavy topic

With his dog Willy near the end of his life from cancer, John eulogizes him: a stubborn, uncuddly dog who was gentle with John's children, a constant in the family, and a companion who, unlike people, takes John's irrational obsessive fears seriously.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Willy is near the end of his life; his name, origin and stubborn, uncuddly character

  • ★★★ John says their dog Willy is probably near the end of his life, and he wants to eulogize him before he dies. (hedged) — 00:00:01 · Willy
  • ★★ Fireball Wilson Roberts Green came home in 2008, named for the alcoholic bulldog in James Crumley's novel The Last Good Kiss; they call him Willy because, as the vet put it, he's 'Willy Willy cute'. — 00:00:07 · Willy
  • ★★ John expected a cuddly puppy, but Willy does not cuddle (or didn't until recent months): he is very strong-willed, wants no pity or baby talk, and wants food, especially bacon and peanut butter. — 00:00:20 · Willy
  • ★ When John's children ran around with treats, Willy would chase them a while, then wait on his bed to be fed and dash away, restoring the normal order of people running after him. (playful) — 00:00:40 · Willy

00:00:58 — Willy's gentleness with John's children and their loyalty: a family of five

  • ★★ Worried that Willy, not a 'sweet' dog, would resent new children, the family found him always extraordinarily gentle and patient with the kids, even as babies. — 00:00:59 · Willy
  • ★★ The children are fiercely loyal to Willy: when Sarah or John say they are a family of four, the kids shout back that it is five, counting Willy. — 00:01:26 · Sarah Urist Green, Willy
  • ★★ John says the kids are right: Willy is only a dog, but he is their dog, and they are a family of five for a little while longer. — 00:01:39 · Willy

00:01:47 — Willy less present online as John valued privacy, but a constant and a gift in hard times

  • ★★ John talked about Willy a lot online at first, but as he came to value the privateness of his private life, Willy became less of a fixture of his online life. — 00:01:47 · Willy
  • ★★ Willy has been a constant amid big family changes; though his barking has ruined many Vlogbrothers takes, his companionship has been a profound gift, especially in hard times. — 00:01:57 · Willy, Vlogbrothers

00:02:10 — The isolation of John's mental illness and how Willy, who just knows John is scared, takes him seriously

  • ★★★ John says one of the challenging things about his mental illness is how isolating it can be. — 00:02:10 · mental disorder
  • ★★ His obsessive fears and worries seem wildly irrational to other people, because objectively they are, which makes them hard to share. (hedged) — 00:02:13
  • ★★ John says nobody can take seriously his fear that some terrible thing 'X' is about to happen, because they don't find his obsessive reasoning compelling though he does; he avoids even naming X for fear that talking about it will make it happen. — 00:02:31
  • ★★★ In that spiral you feel very alone: people can love and listen but cannot share the feeling because they know it is irrational; Willy doesn't know, and only knows John is scared. — 00:02:43 · Willy
  • ★★★ Wary of anthropomorphizing Willy, John believes after ten years together that Willy knows when he is worried and gravitates to him, lying at his feet or inviting play. (hedged) — 00:03:01 · Willy
  • ★★★ John says Willy takes him seriously in a way no human can, and he is grateful for that. — 00:03:17 · Willy

00:03:21 — Willy's advancing cancer, John's gratitude and farewell

  • ★★ Willy is harder to care for, with weeks of interrupted sleep; as the cancer advances he becomes the quiet, cuddly dog John once wanted, and John is grateful for the dog he is and was. — 00:03:21 · Willy, cancer
  • ★★ John tells Willy he is a good dog and that he loves him. — 00:03:40 · Willy

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: mental disorder · Willy

Also: cancer · obsessive-compulsive disorder · privacy · Sarah Urist Green · The Last Good Kiss

Only in the description or credits: James Crumley

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