Do people need a private self, different from the self they show in public?
Since 2014 John has said people need a real private self; he has grown more careful about sharing, and in 2026 said he wants more of his private life to belong to him. Hank agrees: everyone is a somewhat different person in different places, and while sharing yourself is good, it is also good to keep some self for the self.
Axis: yes, everyone needs a private self ... no, one should be the same self in public and private
Positions by date: 19 records in 17 videos. The position was refined (2021, 2024), never reversed, in these records.
John
| date | how | position | video |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2014-09-02 | first on record | John says nobody can always be their public self in private without going mad; people need a real private self. | MORTIFICATION 00:02:52 |
| 2017-04-18 | restate | Invoking 'This is not a pipe', John says this is his life but not all of it, and if he remembers that about himself, maybe he can understand it about other people. | Framing 00:02:14 |
| 2018-02-27 | restate | John talked about Willy a lot online at first, but as he came to value the privateness of his private life, Willy became less of a fixture of his online life. | Ode to a Dog 00:01:47 |
| 2019-05-21 | restate | John concludes that we don't know who is in Keanu's Mickey Mouse suit, but Keanu does, and that is all that matters. | Keanu Reeves: A Love Letter 00:02:55 |
| 2021-03-02 | restate | John explains his silence: once you share something you can't unshare it, and he is not comfortable sharing news about other people. | What's Not in the Frame 00:01:05 |
| 2024-05-21 | restate | John says this can make him feel he is selling off little parts of himself for good publicity, and what you sell of yourself you cannot buy back. | Getting Personal about Getting Personal 00:00:50 |
| 2024-05-21 | refine | John argues that what to share and what to save matters for everyone, since almost all of us feed the content machine; we need rules for sharing ourselves at least as much as rules for happy marriages. | Getting Personal about Getting Personal 00:04:37 |
| 2024-10-01 | restate | John didn't understand the pleasure of privacy until he lost it: unlike the middle-school belief that everyone is watching you, when you're famous people actually are. | On Fame and Chappell Roan 00:02:18 |
| 2026-03-31 | restate | Trading one's frailties for public attention used to concern mainly movie stars; now everyone on the social internet trades experiences, traumas and personal lives, part of what the book is about. | I've Been Keeping a Secret… 00:01:27 |
| 2026-06-02 | restate | Huge corporations mediate the exchange of private experience for public consumption; once a problem for people like Jackie Kennedy and Grace Jones, it is now an economy everyone joins with each post. | The Instagramification of Human Experience 00:04:52 |
| 2026-06-05 | restate | John says once you share something it isn't yours anymore: that can be liberating, but you lose control of the story and of when you tell it. | The Things We Don't Discuss 00:09:14 |
| 2026-07-07 | restate | John says he could stop making videos and Instagram posts, and has become more careful about what he shares online so that more of his private life belongs to him. | On the Death of the Author 00:04:52 |
| 2026-07-28 | restate | Citing Annie Dillard's image of the private, insensible waters we live in, John says he finds those waters nourishing rather than useless: they give him strength to emerge and observe with acuity. | 'Are You John Green?' 00:00:58 |
| 2026-10-27 | restate | John says the commodification he dislikes includes interviews in which he trades little pieces of his private life for good publicity, and Instagram videos designed to hook viewers from the very first frame. | Should I Salinger… 00:02:33 |
Hank
| date | how | position | video |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-03-12 | refine | In a channel comment Hank says he can be authentic in his performance without being every facet of himself; as long as core values are real, creators aren't lying to their audience. | A Crisis of Branding |
| 2021-03-12 | restate | Asked whether it is weird to be a different person in different places, Hank says no: everyone is a different person to parents, friends, spouses and kids. | A Crisis of Branding 00:01:20 |
| 2023-11-03 | restate | Hank says sharing a great deal of yourself is an absolute good, and a shared self is richer, but it is also good to keep some self for the self. | We Need to talk about Sarapocial Relationships 00:05:07 |
| 2024-05-24 | restate | Hank says the vacation was theirs, so he was not thinking much about content the whole time. | An Ancient Apocalypse 00:00:29 |
| 2026-02-14 | restate | Hank always says that everything you see is him, but you don't see all of him. | Project for Awesome 2026 part 4! 05:53:06 |
Timeline notes
- Hank: first recorded event is refine (earlier stance may be outside 2007–2026 or unrecorded)