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TOO MANY MILKS

2019-04-05 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:57 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Global development, Projects, Pop culture, Nerdfighteria, Books & writing) · mode: Personal update · tags: self promotion, civic or action cta

In an unscripted catch-all while John is in Sierra Leone with Partners In Health, Hank muses that vacations are just abnormal work, admits DFTBA Brewing was an April Fools' joke (the merch and charity profits are real), shows a friend's horse zine, asks viewers to draw the bar they picture in bar jokes, and laments too many milks.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — John's missed Tuesday as a vacation day; vacations as abnormal work

  • ★★ Hank notes John didn't post on Tuesday: they had said they would take vacation days, and now one has actually happened and Hank is adjusting. — 00:00:00 · John Green
  • ★★ Hank says 'vacation' is a stretchy word: on vacation we often just do abnormal work, like a wedding with 500 strangers or a day off to buy a car. (playful) — 00:00:12

00:00:29 — John is in Sierra Leone with Partners In Health; screaming babies

00:00:58 — April Fools' jokes: DFTBA Brewing merch, profits to charity, SciShow Pee

  • ★ Hank says John had poor internet and little free time for a video, and Hank looks forward to hearing what happened in Sierra Leone. — 00:00:58 · John Green, Sierra Leone
  • ★★ Hank says he did four April Fools' jokes: DFTBA Brewing is not and never will be a real thing, but its merch is real. (playful) — 00:01:05 · DFTBA Records
  • ★★★ Hank says all of his and John's after-tax DFTBA profits will go to charity, probably to help do a project with Partners In Health. (hedged) — 00:01:15 · DFTBA Records, Partners In Health, John Green
  • ★★ Hank says the DFTBA Brewing merch is available only until today, maybe through the weekend. (hedged) — 00:01:22 · DFTBA Records
  • ★★ Hank says SciShow Pee isn't a real show but is a real YouTube channel that would get a silver play button at 100,000 subscribers; it will never post again, so viewers should just subscribe. (playful) — 00:01:30 · YouTube
  • ★★ Hank, who is 38 and loves zines, shows his friend Valerie's draw-a-horse zine, made from people's drawings of one horse each, and says it can be bought on Etsy. — 00:01:53

00:01:57 — Zines: Valerie's draw-a-horse zine and Hank's favorite horse

00:02:21 — The bar you picture in bar jokes: draw yours and email it

  • ★★ Hank says a Reddit thread made him realize he pictures one specific bar, never visited, with a very weird layout, when he hears a 'man walked into a bar' joke. — 00:02:21 · Reddit, Bar joke
  • ★★★ Hank asks viewers to draw the bar a man walked into and email it to hankandjohn@gmail.com with 'my bar' in the subject; maybe he'll make a video or zine of them. — 00:02:38 · Bar joke

00:02:50 — Writing the sequel: deleting a character

  • ★★ Hank says sequels are wild: he recently made up a person for the book, found it didn't work, and got rid of them; deciding who exists is his job. (playful) — 00:02:58 · A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor

00:03:17 — Too many milks; unscripted video; favorite YouTube discoveries and Defunctland

  • ★★ Hank says there are too many milks: his two-and-a-half-year-old son asks for oat milk in his tea. (playful) — 00:03:17 · Orin Green
  • ★ Hank says that, apparently, he can still make an entirely unscripted video. (hedged) — 00:03:35
  • ★★ Hank asks viewers to say in the comments what their favorite recent YouTube discovery was. — 00:03:40 · YouTube
  • ★★ Hank says Defunctland is doing a series on Jim Henson and he is super psyched about it. — 00:03:45

In the description and comments

  • ★ The description says Hank announces a zine, possibly. (hedged) — video description

Humor (significant)

  • Hank admits DFTBA Brewing was an April Fools' joke while still selling its merch. — 00:01:05

    “Not a real, never gonna be a real thing, but the merch is real! The merch is always real.”

  • Hank describes his favorite horse in Valerie's zine, muscly and bony. — 00:02:10

    “It's like a centaur, but only the torso is of a man.”

  • Hank deleted a made-up character from his sequel because they didn't work. — 00:03:05

    “That's my job! I decide whether you exist.”

  • There are too many milks: Hank's toddler son asks for oat milk in his tea. — 00:03:17

    “he asks for oat milk in his tea. What have I done?”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

People: Jim Henson · Orin Green · Valerie (person, mentioned from 2019)

Projects: DFTBA Records · SciShow Pee

Works: A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor · Valerie's draw-a-horse zine

Organizations: Defunctland · Etsy · Partners In Health · Reddit · YouTube

Concepts: Zine

Places: Sierra Leone

Events: April Fools' Day

Products: Gmail

Memes: Bar joke

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