One-off jokes

106 jokes recorded once as a possible running bit. Threads that continue across videos have their own pages: all threads.

2007

• The brothers' 'Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirt': sharing the one Nerdfighter shirt (2007) · one-off joke (2007)
  • first use · John dubs the shared Nerdfighter shirt arrangement 'the Brotherhood of the Traveling shirt': what is brotherhood if not sharing clothes? (playful) · Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of Traveling Shirts 00:01:58
• Hank's 'Dum de dum de dum de readin' a book' ditty (2007) · one-off joke (2007)
  • first use · Hank sings 'Dum de dum de dum de readin' a book' while finishing a book; the ditty is the video's title. (playful) · June 25: Dum De Dum De Dum De Readn' a Book 00:00:03
• John's 'Law of Compound Nerdfighting' (2007) · one-off joke (2007)
  • first use · John coins the Law of Compound Nerdfighting, modelled on compound interest: 100 nerdfighters together can do what 100 alone cannot. (playful) · Brotherhood 2.0: July 2nd: The Law of Compound Nerdfighting 00:00:59
• Hank's 'retail store dance' (2007) · one-off joke (2007)
  • first use · Hank names and performs 'the retail store dance', the ritual sounds and moves of paying at a store, which his three free exchanges skipped. (joke) · August 3: The Retail Dance 00:01:57
• John's hypothetical band names, e.g. 'Negative Suck Cubed equals Awesome' (2007) · one-off joke (2007)
  • first use · John lists the names of the hypothetical bands he would be in if he didn't suck at music, ending with the title name 'Negative Suck Cubed equals Awesome'. (joke) · September 4th: Negative Suck Cubed Equals Awesome 00:00:39
• John's 'liquid brain' after finishing a revision (2007) · one-off joke (2007)
  • first use · John says he is so tired after the revision that his brain feels like it has turned to liquid and might drip out. (playful) · November 28th: Amy Winehouse and Brain Liquefication 00:00:45

2008

• Hank: the Vlogbrothers 'killed a man' with viewers' watching time (2008) · one-off joke (2008)
  • first use · Hank claims he and John 'killed a man' with YouTube: total Vlogbrothers viewing time equals one 77.4-year lifetime. (joke) · BLOOD! I'm a KILLER! 00:00:00
• John's word 'Hankian' (2008) · one-off joke (2008)
  • first use · John coins 'Hankian' ('like Nietzschean, but less frighteningly nihilistic') for his excited, busy state. (playful) · Hank Would Think This Is Awesome: The Project 00:00:00
• John's '60 seconds with the 14th century' memo (2008) · one-off joke (2008)
  • first use · John performs '60 seconds with the 14th century', a comic memo of germ theory, science and history advice to medieval people. (playful) · Memo to the Fourteenth Century (and to the Tobians) 00:02:18
• Hank's 'metric Sabbath': resting on the tenth day (2008) · one-off joke (2008)
  • first use · Hank coins 'metric Sabbath' for resting on the tenth day after his days of awesome. (playful) · Metric Sabbath 00:01:36
• Hank's funny noises: John says it is all Nerdfighters want from Hank's videos (2008) · one-off joke (2008)
  • first use · John tells Hank all Nerdfighters want from him is funny noises, and Hank answers with a long scream. (playful) · Funny Noises from Tennessee 00:01:08
• John's grandmother's word 'Scootily Poopin'' (Skoodilypooping) (2008) · one-off joke (2008)
  • first use · John introduces his grandmother's word for making out, 'Scootily Poopin'', the title bit, with the story of Nanny asking whether he and a girlfriend had been doing it. (playful) · Skoodilypooping 00:02:07

2009

• Hank's Facebook fan page for Dr. Manhattan's dong (2009) · one-off joke (2009)
  • first use · Hank reveals he made a Facebook fan page for Dr. Manhattan's dong the day before (17 March 2009), became a fan, and sings about it. (playful) · Dr. Manhattan's Dangle and Brain Crack 00:00:00
• John's made-up name 'Hakkenslaken' for Dutch chocolate-sprinkle bread (2009) · one-off joke (2009)
  • first use · John coins a made-up name (heard 'Hakkenslaken') for Dutch bread with butter and chocolate sprinkles. (playful) · John Loves Amsterdam 00:01:09
• The HipPOTATOmus: a hippo-shaped potato (2009) · one-off joke (2009)
  • first use · A hippo-shaped potato is named the hippotato, then the hippotatamus. (playful) · HipPOTATOmus 00:01:15
• Hank's 'I am Computer Man' (2009) · one-off joke (2009)
  • first use · Hank proclaims himself 'Computer Man', after the staged multi-computer photo, and says his Montana friends see him that way. (playful) · I AM COMPUTER MAN!!! 00:02:04
• John's 'famy' (opposite of infamy) bit (2009) · one-off joke (2009)
  • first use · John introduces 'famy' (heard 'fummy'), the opposite of infamy, declaring Hank's punishment day one that will live in famy. (playful) · Hank in FAMY 00:00:00
• Hank's 'Hanksgiving': complaints on the day before Thanksgiving (2009) · one-off joke (2009)
  • first use · Hank names the day before Thanksgiving 'Hanks-[giving]', the opposite of Thanksgiving, when he lists what he is not thankful for. (playful) · Things I'm Not Thankful For 00:00:00

2010

• Hank's side-boob bit: the top-10 celebrity side-boob video he would rather have made than discuss his ultimate concern (2010) · one-off joke (2010)
  • first use · Hank says he had meant to devote the video to the top 10 celebrity side-boob shots of 2009 before John's ultimate-concern question; the title bit. (joke) · Side-Boob is Not my Ultimate Concern 00:00:00
• Hank's shower as the internet: the title demonstration of 'Net Neutrality in the Shower' (2010) · one-off joke (2010)
  • first use · Hank uses his running shower as the internet, the water as information, to explain bandwidth and net neutrality. (playful) · Net Neutrality in the Shower 00:00:29
• 'Like a snake swallowing an egg': the two-bite eating gag that titles Hank's Florida video (2010) · one-off joke (2010)
  • first use · In the closing outtake an off-camera voice says someone eating something in two bites was 'like a snake swallowing an egg', the line that titles the video. (joke) · Like a Snake Swallowing an Egg: Thoughts from Florida 00:02:47
• John's 'I'm not going down' sleepless-flight bit (2010) · one-off joke (2010)
  • first use · Delirious after a failed sleeping pill on the flight, John films himself in the airplane bathroom insisting he will not go down (title bit). (joke) · I'm Not Going Down: Thoughts from Amsterdam 00:00:32
• John's 'Vienna is packed with babies' bit (2010) · one-off joke (2010)
  • first use · John's title gag: Vienna is packed with babies (not cherubs), which he points out one by one. (joke) · Babies and Catacombs: VIENNA (Thoughts from Places) 00:00:32

2011

• John's 'cheating cheaters of cheatery', in his Brazil cotton video (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John voices Brazil's WTO complaint: when it comes to cotton, Americans are 'a bunch of cheating cheaters of cheatery' (the video's title). (joke) · Cheating Cheaters of Cheatery: The Amazing Story of Brazil's Cotton War with the U.S. 00:01:16
• John's trouble spelling words: the 'Spelling is Hard Edition' of Question Friday (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John's run of words he can't spell (occasionally, refrigerator, sacrilege, queue) becomes the 'Spelling Bee Nightmare Edition', the title bit. (playful) · QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition 00:02:43
• John's 'Sheen or Gaddafi?' quotation-guessing game (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John introduces 'Sheen or Gaddafi?', the title game: guess whether a grandiose quotation was said by Charlie Sheen or Muammar Gaddafi. (playful) · SHEEN or GADDAFI? 00:00:00
• 'Dandy lions': lions that eat you when you wish on them (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · Asked 'dandy lions or dandelions?', John picks dandy lions, which eat you if you wish on them, and calls 'The Dandy Lions' a really good band name; the title bit. (joke) · DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day 00:00:40
• John's definition of basketball as 'participatory geometry' (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John defines basketball as two hollow cylinders and one sphere, 'essentially participatory geometry', the title bit; he returns to it in his defence of sports. (playful) · Participatory Geometry 00:00:50
• John's 'winkels to the left, winkels to the right' line about Antwerp (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John says all he knew about Antwerp was that there are 'winkels to the left and winkels to the right', the line that titles the video. (joke) · Winkels to the Left, Winkels to the Right: Thoughts from Places, Antwerp 00:00:41
• Hank's 'grab it by the testicle' commencement advice (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · Hank's advice to graduates to 'grab it by the testicle', the line that titles the video. (joke) · Grab It By The Testicle 00:01:45
• John's 'eating the unicorn': a Google-translated Dutch dinner invitation (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John reads the Google-translated line that no one knows who will eat the unicorn at his Dutch dinner, then volunteers to eat it; the title bit. (joke) · Eating the Unicorn 00:00:45
• Horatio: Hank's zit, 'the newest member of our family' (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · Hank introduces his zit Horatio as the newest member of the family, the title bit; at the end Horatio wants to take over the vlogs. (joke) · Horatio, the Newest Member of our Family 00:00:04
• John's 'defying the Wadsworth constant': a deliberately entertaining first 30% (2011) · one-off joke (2011)
  • first use · John opens by announcing he must defy the Wadsworth constant, then fills the first 30% of the video with joke tips and asks Wadsworth how he likes them apples. (playful) · Defying Wadsworth! 00:00:00

2012

• John's proposal to say 'huzzah' more often (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · John proposes saying 'huzzah' more often, as a secret thing. (playful, hedged) · Changes to Vlogbrothers 00:01:08
• John's champagne-popper celebrations (2012) · retired
  • retired · Asked why he no longer does champagne poppers, John says they don't fit his serious brand, then pops one at the Kiva news ('Shibam! Ow.'). (playful) · Sharpie Face Question Tuesday 00:00:38
• Hank's 'President of Space' title, in his Northrop Grumman video (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · Hank proposes his title be changed to 'Hank Green, President of Space, Nerdfighteria' and asks John whether he can be president of space. (playful) · Can I be Space President? 00:01:01
• Hank screams his way around the VidCon 2012 venue, in 'Screaming Through VidCon' (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · Hank sets out to tour the future VidCon venue by screaming. (playful) · Screaming Through VidCon 00:00:00
• Hank's coinage 'hypothetheory': an untested hypothesis stated as if it were a proven theory (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · Hank coins 'hypothetheory' for a hypothesis, such as 'gay marriage would undermine the institution of marriage', that is asserted as theory without being tested. · Your Arguments Are Invalid: Gay Marriage 00:01:31
• John's 'Dangling Rope of Terror' outside his 39th-floor New York hotel window, in a Question Tuesday (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · From his 39th-floor hotel room John frets over a rope dangling outside the window, afraid for whoever may be on it and a little for himself; at the end he wonders why it moves so much. (playful) · The Dangling Rope of Terror: It's Question Tuesday 00:00:47
• John's 'Hitler and SEX!' cable-pilot jingle, in his parody TV show (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · John's parody cable pilot announces each segment with a dramatic 'Hitler and SEX!' jingle. (playful) · Hitler and Sex! 00:00:15
• John's dream of becoming an Olympian by building a US men's team handball team, in 'Nerd Olympics' (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · John declares he wants to be an Olympian at 34 and, being unathletic, plans to qualify via a US men's team handball team. (playful) · Nerd Olympics 00:00:00
• Hank's 'Eye of London' slip for the London Eye, in his northern Montana video (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · Hank calls the London Eye "the Eye of London", then corrects himself; the slip is the video's title. (playful) · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana 00:01:56
• John's burnt microwaved Peeps, in a Question Tuesday (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · Asked what he has always wanted to microwave, John eats burnt microwaved Peeps from a hot plate with his lunch of apples, the title bit of the video. (playful) · Burning Peeps, My OTP, and Velociraptors: It's Question Tuesday 00:01:02
• John's love of 'tiny balls', in his Las Vegas roulette video (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · John jokes that he loves roulette because he loves tiny balls, the title bit, extended in the P.S. to bitterballen and Dippin' Dots. (joke) · TINY BALLS! Nerds Do Vegas. 00:01:08
• Hank's 'Stadium of Representatives': an ever-growing House would have to be renamed the stadium (2012) · one-off joke (2012)
  • first use · Hank says that adding a seat for every 60,000 people would have forced Congress to rename the House 'the stadium', the joke that titles the video. (joke) · The Stadium of Representatives: The End of B20 Week :-( 00:01:27

2013

• John's three-year-old son declares himself a communist over peanut butter: 'communist celery' (2013) · one-off joke (2013)
  • first use · John's son refuses peanut butter on his celery; asked 'What are you, a communist?', he says yes, and John is happy he's politically engaged. (joke) · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: The Mac & Cheese and Communist Celery Edition 00:02:22
• John's office Clif bars kept in a jar 'because mice' (2013) · one-off joke (2013)
  • first use · John explains the office keeps its Clif bars in a jar because of mice (title bit). (playful) · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour 00:02:01
• Maureen Johnson's watermelon: her guest-vlog prop and 'the only thing that makes sense' online (2013) · one-off joke (2013)
  • first use · Maureen introduces her watermelon as her guest-vlog prop and later declares eating watermelon the only thing that makes sense online. (playful) · Watermelon Internet Trolls 00:00:12
• Hank's 'fartbag': someone who hurts a person and then blames them for their pain (2013) · one-off joke (2013)
  • first use · Hank coins 'fartbag' (title bit): a person who hurts someone and then blames the person they hurt, the alternative to a real apology. (playful) · How to Apologize like a Fartbag 00:00:37

2014

• Hank's mock news bulletin 'The Golden Gate Bridge didn't collapse' (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · Hank opens with a mock 'special report' from the Vlogbrothers newsroom announcing that the Golden Gate Bridge did not collapse today, death count thought to be zero. (playful) · The Golden Gate Bridge Didn't Collapse!! 00:00:03
• John's failed backflip, in a Question Tuesday (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · Asked how many backflips he can do, John attempts one on camera and reports zero. (playful) · Question Tuesday! TFIOS Movie Trailer, Penguin Knees, and Backflips 00:03:13
• Hank vs. Hank: Hank debates himself as an internet user and as a cable company (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · Hank holds a debate in his house between himself as an internet user and himself representing a cable company, on opposite sides of the table. (playful) · Hank vs. Hank: The Net Neutrality Debate in 3 Minutes 00:00:02
• Johning: fans' picture craze after The Hollywood Reporter's picture of John (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · John reports the 'johning' craze: after The Hollywood Reporter's article included a picture of him, a longtime nerdfighter posted herself 'johning' and many, including Hank, followed. (playful) · TFIOS Movie Madness, Incongruent, and Headless Hotel People 00:00:15
• Hank's 'freakish talent' reveal: his remarkable skill is talking (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · Hank builds up a remarkable skill he has never mentioned on Vlogbrothers, then reveals it is talking. (playful) · My Freakish Talent 00:00:19
• John wears all 32 World Cup team shirts in one video (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · John announces he has to wear a lot of shirts today, for reasons that will soon become clear. (playful) · ALL THE SHIRTS (and some paths to community) 00:00:09
• Hank's Team Soggy versus Team Crunchy cinnamon toast bit (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · Hank stages the cinnamon toast showdown, rejects the crunchy version and declares 'Team soggy for life!' (playful) · How to Make Cinnamon Toast (two ways) 00:00:50
• John's food-and-disease curses: a cooking method plus a disease in place of swearing (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · John starts cursing by naming a cooking method and a disease ('pickled rotavirus', 'steamed Ebola', later 'fried meningitis'). (playful) · Food Is Weird: Understanding Agriculture in the Developing World 00:00:59
• John's exhausted mock place names: 'the sleepiest sleepyhead in Sleepsylvania' (2014) · one-off joke (2014)
  • first use · John describes his exhaustion with mock place names, starting with 'the sleepiest sleepyhead in Sleepsylvania' (the title has Sleeptown), then Fatiguedville and Exhaustia. (playful) · The Sleepiest Sleepyhead in Sleeptown 00:00:14

2015

• Hank's cosmic-scale 'Draw My Life' (2015) · one-off joke (2015)
  • first use · Answering the 'Draw my life!' suggestion, Hank scales his life down from Montana to the known universe and holds up the result: 'My life. I drew it.' (playful) · Draw My Life + 16 Other Suggestions 00:02:50
• Hank's corndog ghost attack (2015) · one-off joke (2015)
  • first use · Hank's opening is cut short by an unseen 'corndog' encounter that drives him from his chair; the video's title calls it a corndog ghost attack. (joke) · Corndog Ghost Attack, Book Towers, and Census 00:00:06

2016

• John versus the Indianapolis airport's Spanish no-smoking announcements, 'No Fumar' (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · John calls the Indianapolis International Airport the best airport on Earth; his number one complaint is a no-smoking announcement every 12 minutes. (playful) · No Fumar 00:00:14
• Hank's 'I AM A GOLDEN GOD!' shout (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · After signing off, Hank shouts the video's title line, 'I AM A GOLDEN GOD!'. (joke) · I AM A GOLDEN GOD 00:03:19
• Hank's 'reaction video' to The Thing, a roadside attraction it does not show (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · Told he can't broadcast what The Thing is, the video becomes just a 'reaction video' to The Thing, as the title says. (joke) · Reaction Video: THE THING! 00:00:31
• Hank's Roast Yourself diss track (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · Hank performs his self-roasting diss track for the Roast Yourself challenge started by Ryan Higa. (playful) · Hank Roasts Himself Diss Track - Roast Yourself Challenge 00:00:00
• John and fellow YouTubers' plan to move Iceland south as 'New Iceland' (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · The group's proposal is to move Iceland from its rainy, lava-spewing spot to one where it would be a lovely stopping point between continents. (joke) · New Iceland 00:01:40
• John's mock review of humans' capacity for wonder, rated 10 out of 10 (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · John 'reviews' humans' capacity for wonder like a product, giving it 10 out of 10 and calling it highly recommended. (playful) · Our Capacity for Wonder: A Review 00:03:18
• John and Hank wear the same outfits several videos in a row, prompting viewer conspiracy theories (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • callback · Hank says this third week they wore the same outfits on purpose, just to keep messing with viewers. (playful) · Sleep Paralysis, Double-Pregnancy, and The 2016 Census 00:02:06
• John's 'London is lousy with Drowzees and masterpieces' (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · John coins the title line after catching Drowzees: London is lousy with Drowzees and masterpieces. (playful) · Drowzees and Masterpieces: Thoughts from London 00:01:51
• John names Maureen Johnson the weirdest animal he has met (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · Asked for the weirdest animal he has ever met, John answers 'Probably Maureen Johnson'. (joke) · Decathlons, Pretension, and the Weirdest Animal I've Met: It's Question Thursday 00:00:43
• Hank the 'baby poop rookie' (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · John calls Hank's attempt to catch the poop 'a rookie error'; Hank: 'I'm a rookie' (the title's 'Baby Poop Rookie'). (joke) · Baby Poop Rookie: Vlogbrothers Reunited 00:01:34
• John's video structured like the human sternum, in three parts (2016) · one-off joke (2016)
  • first use · John says today's video is like the human sternum, coming in three parts (manubrium, body, xiphoid process), joking that anatomists are bad at naming. (playful) · Exactly Like the Human Sternum 00:00:00

2017

• Hank gets too excited about pears (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · Describing how he cuts and eats a soft Bartlett pear, Hank realizes he may get too excited about pears (the title bit). (playful) · Too Excited about Pears! (Question Tuesday with Hank) 00:02:12
• Hank and WheezyWaiter scream for four minutes straight (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · Asked by a viewer to scream for four minutes, Hank says it is something he feels like doing anyway after this week (week of 23 January 2017). (playful) · Screaming for Four Minutes Straight (with WheezyWaiter) 00:02:04
• John's contradictory opinions on bears (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · Asked his opinion on bears, John gives a rapid string of contradictory verdicts, from strongly in favor to overrated to opposed. (joke) · Good News, YA Books, and Bears: It's Question Tuesday 00:00:53
• Luzu's Spain-only expression 'as cold as the milk' (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · Luzu says in Spanish that it is cold using a Spain-only expression, which Hank catches as something about milk: 'as cold as milk'. (playful) · As Cold as The Milk: Learning Spanish with Luzu 00:00:15
• John's 'twittering': his word for the buzzing misery of the social internet (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · John coins 'twittering', his word for the buzzing misery the social internet fills him with: a brew of outrage, worry, exhaustion and not being able to look away. · My Information Diet 00:00:10
• John's childhood dream job as 'the Introducer' of documentaries, fulfilled by recommending them (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · John recalls cable channels like Turner Classic Movies where a host introduced each old film with context; as a kid his dream job was to be such an introducer, but of documentaries. · The Introducer, My Childhood Dream Job 00:01:00
• John's 'desclibe' flub (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · John mispronounces 'describe' as 'desclibe' while describing his feelings about the book, giving the video its title. (playful) · Very Hard to Desclibe 00:00:59
• 'Look at tiny baby Hank': John shows Hank's high school yearbook photo (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · John shows Hank's high school yearbook photo: 'Look at tiny baby Hank!' (playful) · Look at Tiny Baby Hank 00:00:56
• The 'pecan orchard' that was in retrospect definitely not one (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · The description says the brothers answer questions from what was, in retrospect, definitely not a pecan orchard, though they call it one on camera. (playful) · Definitely Not A Pecan Orchard: A Pizzamas Question Tuesday video description
• John and Hank abandon one opinion every day, begun on the Turtles tour (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · John says that on tour he and Hank decided they have too many opinions, so each day they each abandon one opinion. (playful) · also in: John and Hank Hanging Out but they Keep Getting Younger and More Pixelated · Definitely Not A Pecan Orchard: A Pizzamas Question Tuesday 00:02:07
• Hank's tax explainer turned musical: sung interjections such as 'Tax jail!' and 'Capital Gains!' (2017) · one-off joke (2017)
  • first use · The description says Hank meant to make a tax-policy video and ended up singing a bunch and repeatedly falling out of his chair. (playful) · Why Are Taxes So Complicated? (The Musical?) video description

2018

• John's 'liger delusion': starting from a conclusion and working back to explanations (2018) · one-off joke (2018)
  • first use · John says the 'liger delusion' is at the heart of a lot of contemporary discourse, especially around politics. (hedged) · The Liger Delusion 00:01:12
• Hank calls planets 'space balls' (2018) · one-off joke (2018)
  • first use · Hank announces he now calls planets 'space balls', which is itself an inevitable consequence of the universe's starting conditions. (playful) · Intentionally Ignorant: Does Free Will Exist? 00:02:07
• Hank's 'mountain goats aren't goats' jab at John (2018) · one-off joke (2018)
  • first use · After one brother is called a mountain goat fan, not a billy goat fan, Hank says he doesn't think mountain goats are actually goats; the reply is 'Shut your mouth'. (playful, hedged) · REUNION!!! Mountain Goats Aren't Goats 00:00:42
• The brothers read Vlogbrothers comments saying whom they look like (2018) · one-off joke (2018)
  • first use · John says he recently discovered that all Vlogbrothers comments can be searched, so they will find out what commenters say the brothers look like. (playful) · Reading Mean Comments with John 00:00:00
• Orin's four jokes, shared by Hank (2018) · one-off joke (2018)
  • first use · Orin has told only four jokes, and Hank shares every one of them in order. (playful) · Four Jokes from a Two year Old 00:00:00

2019

• 'Big Daddy likes pork rinds': P4A 2018 livestream line, title of the recap (2018) · one-off joke (2019)
  • first use · A livestream voice says 'Big Daddy likes pork rinds', the line the recap takes as its title. (joke) · Bid Daddy Likes Pork Rinds - P4A Recap 2018! 00:02:05
• Hank's bizarre stock photos captioned by people on Twitter (2019) · one-off joke (2019)
  • first use · Hank shares strange stock photos found by the SciShow team and by himself, with captions that people sent him on Twitter. · The Most Bizarre Stock Photos I Could Find Brought to Life by Your Captions 00:00:00
• Hank's 'too many milks': Orin wants oat milk in his tea (2019) · one-off joke (2019)
  • first use · Hank says there are too many milks: his two-and-a-half-year-old son asks for oat milk in his tea. (playful) · TOO MANY MILKS 00:03:17

2021

• The inside joke that John's novel protagonists are only children because he doesn't like writing about siblings · one-off joke (2021)
  • callback · John cites the long-standing inside joke that his novels' protagonists are only children because he dislikes writing about siblings; really, siblings are too close to his vulnerable, beating heart. · Saying What I've Needed to Say to Hank for a While 00:03:10
• John reviews reviews of The Anthropocene Reviewed on the five-star scale (2021) · one-off joke (2021)
  • first use · John reviews the reviews of his book of reviews, giving each review a star rating. (playful) · Reviewing Reviews of My Reviews 00:00:58
• John is now 'the science one' too, after The Anthropocene Reviewed is named a best science book (2021) · one-off joke (2021)
  • first use · So now John is the science one too: there are two science ones and two writer ones. (playful) · NOW I AM THE SCIENCE ONE… 00:00:29

2023

• Sarapocial relationship: John's word for a creator's relationship with the audience they imagine (2023) · one-off joke (2023)
  • first use · Hank says there is no word for this reverse relationship, but on the phone yesterday John called it a 'sarapocial relationship', which Hank thinks is the best possible term. · We Need to talk about Sarapocial Relationships 00:01:40
• Hank: 'cat I farted', the French-sounding pronunciation of ChatGPT (2023) · one-off joke (2023)
  • first use · Hank tells the title pun: French newscasters' pronunciation of ChatGPT sounds like 'cat, I farted'; he later begs France to keep saying it. (playful) · Cat...I Farted. 00:01:29

2024

• Hank would rather be the juiciest Hank in the world (2024) · one-off joke (2024)
  • first use · Hank would rather be the juiciest Hank in the world than the driest: any human is far juicier than dry, so max juicy is closer. (playful) · The Juiciest Hank in the World 00:00:42
  • callback · In the outro a character calling himself Jared says he would have answered differently and would desperately like to be dry. (joke) · The Juiciest Hank in the World 00:05:21
• Hank's title calls the Turtles All the Way Down film the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (2024) · one-off joke (2024)
  • first use · The title jokingly presents the Turtles All the Way Down trailer as the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, which 'looks weird'. (joke) · The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie looks WEIRD!!! video title

2025

• John's deliberately unclickable fake-topic title after million-view videos (2025) · one-off joke (2025)
  • first use · John says he therefore picked a title no one would casually click on; the video is not really about tuatara digestion but about the Project for Awesome. (playful) · Gastrointestinal Hypermotility in Tuatara 00:00:29
• John's 'One Take Johnny' nickname from Stan and the one-take video rule (2025) · one-off joke (2025)
  • first use · John says he is doing something new in Vlogbrothers' 18 years: Stan, his Crash Course Humanities co-creator, called him One Take Johnny because he could do nothing in one take, but this video with Hank is one take. · ONE TAKE JOHNNY 00:00:00
• John breaks his long refusal to ask viewers to like and subscribe (2025) · one-off joke (2025)
  • first use · Saying something he has not said in many years, John asks viewers to like and subscribe and comment when they started watching Vlogbrothers. · After seven long years… 00:04:22
• Hank's raw-file-name title 'I live in Texas now' (2025) · one-off joke (2025)
  • first use · Hank titles the video like a raw file name, 'I live in Texas now', joking that shutdown-hit airports may leave him stuck in Texas. (playful) · Filming at Space Center Houston, Hank tells John that the video he made replying to… 00:01:04
• John's annual November psychophysical decline (2025) · one-off joke (2025)
  • first use · John says it's November with snow on the ground, which means it is time for his annual psychophysical decline. (playful) · John's Annual Psychophysical Decline 00:00:00

2026

• Dr. Billiam Feathersby: Hank's alien visitor who tells the Project for Awesome whether Earth is worth saving · one-off joke (2026)
  • callback · Speaking as the alien Dr. Billiam Feathersby, Hank tells viewers that things can feel like they are going badly, but everybody is trying and the effort is seen. (playful) · Project for Awesome 2026 part 4! 07:03:03
• John's 'everything is tuberculosis' bit: unlikely things shown to be tuberculosis (2026) · one-off joke (2026)
  • first use · The title and description present the video as John explaining how the French Revolution, Panda Express, My Chemical Romance and mountain goats are all tuberculosis. (playful) · How Panda Express Is Tuberculosis video description
• Hank's title-phrase bit from his favorite vocal stem: something awaiting him in the divine for resisting (2026) · one-off joke (2026)
  • first use · Hank opens with his new favorite vocal stem: a voice, asked why it has no podcast, answers with the video's title phrase, which Hank then repeats. · Something Awaits For Me in the Divine for Resisting 00:00:00
• Hank makes Vlogbrothers videos to say he is not making a Vlogbrothers video · one-off joke (2026)
  • callback · Hank makes one of his Vlogbrothers videos whose purpose is to say he is not making a Vlogbrothers video. · No Video Today!! 00:00:00