Skip to content

Trolling Through John's YouTube History...GUESS WHAT I FOUND!?

2019-11-08 · list · Hank · 3:59 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Internet & YouTube · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: calendar ritual, self promotion

On the last day of Pizzamas, prompted by John's video about watching a lot of YouTube, Hank scrolls through the brothers' shared YouTube watch history and finds, as he suspected, John's vending machine and laundromat business videos, then plugs the last Pizzamas merch, whose profits go to maternal health in Sierra Leone.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Last day of Pizzamas; John's line about empty distraction; the brothers' shared YouTube account and its puzzling algorithm

  • ★★ Hank says it is the final day of Pizzamas and this year's (2019) products are only available during these weeks, so time is running out. — 00:00:00 · Pizzamas
  • ★ Hank recaps this Pizzamas: Left Beef, Good Cats, the Let It Snow premiere, and John going to people's houses. (playful) — 00:00:12 · Pizzamas, None pizza with left beef
  • ★★ Hank says something John said in yesterday's video gave him an idea: that John watches a lot of YouTube, not all of it nourishing, and there is a place for wondrously empty distraction. — 00:00:20 · YouTube
  • ★★ Hank notes that he and John share a YouTube account, which is not how normal people use YouTube. — 00:00:29 · YouTube
  • ★★ Hank says everyone is sometimes confused by the YouTube algorithm; with a shared account he can't tell when YouTube is being weird versus when his brother is, as with sudden vending machine business recommendations. (playful) — 00:00:35 · recommender system, Eons, YouTube

00:00:58 — Scrolling John's YouTube history: Tetris, Football Manager, sailing, vending machines, a laundromat, Grand Rapids

  • ★★ Expecting that John has been watching vending machine videos, Hank looks through the vlogbrothers channel's YouTube history for the last couple of weeks. (playful) — 00:00:58 · Vlogbrothers, YouTube
  • ★★ John's history shows him watching his own Vice Sports special ('not embarrassing at all') and a lot of Tetris and Football Manager videos. (playful) — 00:01:20
  • ★★ Hank finds a Bob Ross-like yellow-paint piece, a couple's channel he doesn't know, sailing videos though John dislikes water, and several Auld Lang Syne performances he guesses are research. (playful, speculative) — 00:01:36
  • ★★★ As Hank suspected, John watched many vending machine business videos, 15 to 20 minutes long and all watched to the end, plus one on what a laundromat costs to run. (playful) — 00:01:58
  • ★ Seeing a vending machine video with 1.3 million views, Hank says YouTube is so weird now. (playful) — 00:02:16 · YouTube
  • ★★ The history also has MinutePhysics, football, Rick and Morty, Good Place videos (Hank's), Jürgen Klopp, and a Harvard advanced algorithms lecture. (playful) — 00:02:30
  • ★★ John recently watched the five-minute video of Hank, Maureen and John in Grand Rapids, their first event together, which Hank finds very cute. — 00:02:45 · Maureen Johnson
  • ★★ Hank watched The Adventure Zone season 3 trailer twice; John watched Safiya Nygaard choosing her wedding dress and a Mike Tyson hoverboard fail. (playful) — 00:02:55
  • ★★ Hank says many Pizzamas products are at DFTBA.com through the end of the weekend and then never again, including all the designers' shirts. — 00:03:10 · Pizzamas, DFTBA Records
  • ★★ Of the pineapple and no-pineapple items, pineapple is winning so far, perhaps because no-pineapple people don't much care. (playful) — 00:03:20

00:03:27 — Pizzamas merch until the weekend, profits to maternal health in Sierra Leone; vending-machine conspiracy coda

  • ★★★ Hank says all the profits from Pizzamas products are going to improve maternal health in Sierra Leone. — 00:03:40 · Pizzamas, maternal death, Sierra Leone
  • ★ Hank thanks John for a wonderful Pizzamas and wishes him luck in his new vending machine business. (joke) — 00:03:45 · Pizzamas

Humor (dominant)

  • Hank's suspicion confirmed: John's history is full of vending machine business videos. — 00:01:27

    “First one, should I quit my vending machine business? I knew it! I knew it!”

  • After a video on laundromat running costs, Hank stages a brotherly intervention. — 00:02:16

    “but I do want to have a serious conversation before you go start a laundromat.”

  • Hank finds sailing videos in John's history. — 00:01:27

    “You don't like the water!”

  • On pineapple losing no ground to no-pineapple fans, Hank shrugs off pineapple on pizza. — 00:03:27

    “I don't want to yuck on your warm, salty fruit.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: YouTube

Also: People: Bob Ross · DoctorBenjyFM · Henry Reich · Jürgen Klopp · Maureen Johnson · Mike Tyson · Safiya Nygaard · Tom Scott

Projects: DFTBA Records · Eons · Pizzamas

Works: Auld Lang Syne · Football Manager · Let It Snow (film) · Rick and Morty · Tetris · The Adventure Zone · The Good Place

Organizations: Harvard University · Vice Sports

Concepts: conspiracy theory · maternal death · pineapple · recommender system

Places: Grand Rapids, Michigan · Sierra Leone

Memes: None pizza with left beef

Replies to

← Previous: I took a year off social media. Here's what happened. · Next → still learning