The Time a Spy Visited Me Because of P*tin.
2024-08-13 · story · John · 4:25 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Personal life · mode: Personal update
John tells Hank how, a couple of months after Gmail warned them that a foreign government had accessed their email, a visitor introduced by a friend as a diplomat, who said he mostly works in intelligence, questioned him for an hour; John's dad concluded he is neither an asset nor a threat, which John adopts as a life ambition.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Gmail's foreign-government hacking warnings and a friend's diplomat buddy asking to meet John during the Indy 500
- ★★ John recalls that several years ago he and Hank both got Gmail warnings that a foreign government had accessed their email, and they moved on. — 00:00:00 · Hank Green
- ★★ A few months later a friend told John that his diplomat buddy was coming to Indianapolis for the Indy 500 and wanted to meet him. — 00:00:15 · Indianapolis
00:00:29 — The visit: the trade job title, the scotch, John's spy joke and 'I mostly work in intelligence'
- ★★ The man's email signature gave his title as special regional assistant for trade; he came to John's office on a Wednesday in a suit with a very nice bottle of scotch. — 00:00:29
- ★★★ When John joked that the job title sounded like a spy's, the man stared in long silence, then said he mostly works in intelligence. (playful) — 00:00:58
00:01:35 — The interrogation: questions about John's mortgage, AFC Wimbledon, family and Russia, and John telling him everything
- ★★ The man, supposedly in town for the Indy 500, told John he would not be able to stay for the race. (playful) — 00:01:35 · Indianapolis
- ★★ The man asked John many questions: his mortgage, whether his AFC Wimbledon sponsorship is expensive and why he spends money on a foreign football team, his family, job and work with Hank. — 00:01:50 · AFC Wimbledon
- ★★ Asked about Russia, John said he had never been there and had criticised the Russian government, like everyone except one noted American politician. (playful) — 00:02:04
- ★★ The man asked why the Russian government would go out of its way to hack John's and Hank's email, perhaps for criticising it on Crash Course; John said he did not know either. — 00:02:15 · Hank Green, Crash Course
- ★★★ John says he told the man everything: his mortgage, the cost of his AFC Wimbledon sponsorship, his foreign tax from foreign book deals, his good marriage, every thought about the Russian government. (playful) — 00:02:33 · AFC Wimbledon
- ★★ John says the man was neither coercive nor impolite but made answering seem inevitable, extracting an extraordinary amount of information over their conversation. — 00:03:03
00:03:32 — Aftermath: John's dad's verdict, neither an asset nor a threat, as John's life ambition; sign-off
- ★★ The meeting lasted about an hour; John ended slightly drunk and drenched in sweat, having little capacity for international skullduggery. (playful) — 00:03:32 · Nerdfighteria
- ★★ After the man left warmly, John immediately called his father to say he thought he had just met a spy and told him the whole story. — 00:03:45 · Mike Green
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★★★ Mike Green (quoted): John's dad concluded that they had decided John was neither an asset nor a threat, just a dad from Indianapolis. (hedged) — 00:04:01 · John Green, Indianapolis
“neither an asset nor a threat, just a dad from Indianapolis”
-
★★★ John adopts his dad's conclusion as one of his central ambitions for the rest of his life: to be neither an asset nor a threat. — 00:04:08
- ★★ John's exception: he wants to be a threat to certain pharmaceutical companies that limit access to tuberculosis diagnostics and medications. — 00:04:15 · tuberculosis
In the description and comments
- ★★★ The description clarifies that the visitor was from John's own side, not Russia's: 'our guys not their guys'. — video description
- ★★ In a channel comment John adds that the visitor showed him ID. — creator comment
- ★★ In a comment John says a reporter later told him only around 400 American email addresses were hacked, four of them his and Hank's, including their private ones. — creator comment
- ★★ In a comment John says he waited eight years before telling the story. — creator comment
- ★ In a comment John says the friend who set up the meeting is legitimate and claimed to have known the visitor for many years. — creator comment
- ★★ In a comment John says the visitor's silence at the spy joke was meant to make him uncomfortable, and it worked. (hedged) — creator comment
- ★ In a comment John explains he starred out Putin's name in the title so Putin and his cronies would not find the video by searching. — creator comment
Humor (significant)
-
John tries to break the ice by telling the visitor his job title sounds like a spy's. — 00:00:58
“Just dead, dead eyes. Absolute silence.”
-
The man supposedly in Indianapolis for the Indy 500 tells John he won't attend it. — 00:01:35
“I won't be able to stay for the race”
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Asked whether he has criticised the Russian government, John answers yes, like everyone. — 00:02:04
“hasn't everyone except for one noted American politician”
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John describes how completely the man got him to talk. — 00:03:03
“If he'd asked for my ATM pin number, I would have given it to him.”
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John explains why he ended the meeting drenched in sweat. — 00:03:32
“because one, I'm a sweater, and two, as longtime nerdfighters likely already know, I have little capacity for international skullduggery”
Mentioned
Central: espionage · Government of Russia · the intelligence officer who visited John
Also: People: Mike Green
Projects: Crash Course
Organizations: AFC Wimbledon
Concepts: cyberwarfare · pharmaceutical industry · tuberculosis
Places: Indianapolis · Russia
Events: Indianapolis 500
Products: Gmail
Only in the description or credits: Vladimir Putin
Later videos replying to this one
- 2024-08-16 · I Have Uncovered an Olympics Mystery… (Hank) — answers — “Thanks for sharing your spy story.” (00:07:26)