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Pain

2026-03-13 · letter vlog · Hank · 5:07 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Nerdfighteria) · mode: Personal essay · tags: community lore

Filming lying on the floor with an injured shoulder after 22 hours of travel, Hank tells John that pain reminds him, who often feels he lives online, that he has a physical body; he makes the video anyway because Vlogbrothers is two guys being humans, and thanks his body.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank's intense back pain after an injury and 22 hours of delayed flights

  • ★★★ Hank says he has really intense back pain: after injuring his back he had three flights home, two delayed, and spent about 22 hours in airports or on planes. — 00:00:00

00:00:28 — Feeling non-physical and online when going hard; pain as proof of a physical body; Katherine's text

  • ★★ Hank says he sometimes goes hard and then feels invincible and almost non-physical, since much of his work is non-physical and extends into the internet, where he lives. — 00:00:28
  • ★★ Hank says he has often felt he lives more online than in physical space, which he thinks is problematic in a number of ways. — 00:00:59
  • ★★★ Hank says that if anything makes you realize you do inhabit a physical space, it is pain, and the only way out is to keep existing while you heal. — 00:00:59
  • ★★ It took Hank a long time to realize his back pain was an injury to heal from, not something fixed by cracking his neck the right way. — 00:00:59
  • ★ Katherine texts that she is getting coffee and offers him options from bone broth or a salad to a bakery item or a Xanax; Hank calls her a good woman. (playful) — 00:00:59 · Katherine Green

00:01:47 — Why Hank makes a video from the floor: commitments, never missing during chemo, the channel as two guys being humans, the old never-miss constraint

  • ★★ Hank says he set himself up to deny the injury: he agreed to many things that, if not done now, must be done later and will push back his other commitments. — 00:01:47
  • ★★ Hank says he has missed plenty of Vlogbrothers videos, but during chemo he never missed one, partly because he was not feeling too bad to make them. — 00:01:47 · Vlogbrothers, chemotherapy
  • ★★ Hank says he wants to make these videos when he can, partly because it lets him be creative by asking what would make a video possible on a given day. — 00:02:15
  • ★★ Hank says filming lying on the floor is not a bit: it is a break from sitting work that he needs today, and lying down makes him feel better. — 00:02:15
  • ★★★ Hank says he doesn't mind showing that his physical body and its difficulties, which everyone has, are part of his experience, and would not want to hide that. — 00:02:15
  • ★★★ Hank says a weird part of the Vlogbrothers channel is that it is two guys being humans. — 00:03:04 · Vlogbrothers
  • ★★ Hank notes the brothers no longer require themselves never to miss a day, and no longer get punished for missing one. — 00:03:04 · Punishment
  • ★★★ Hank says the never-miss constraint, when they had it, meant viewers saw things the brothers would not make if a video were just for money and views. — 00:03:04
  • ★★ Hank says the constraint gives him a problem to solve, making the video within what he can do right now, and says the brothers are just guys trying to do a thing. — 00:03:32
  • ★ Hank is unsure he can edit the video while injured; if he cannot, it will not go up. (hedged) — 00:03:32

00:03:58 — A cold, a shoulder injury he must heal from, and gratitude to his body; sign-off

  • ★ Hank says he also has a cold, adding insult to injury. — 00:03:58
  • ★★★ Hank says the injury is actually in his shoulder, not his spine, a pinched nerve or muscle problem; it has happened before but this time is pretty bad, and he just has to heal. — 00:03:58
  • ★★★ Hank feels a little betrayed by his body but also grateful: it is a good body that has done many great things with him, including all his internet work. — 00:04:28
  • ★★ Addressing his body, Hank admits he sometimes denies its existence and does not always treat it well, but says it is real, and now he is paying. (playful) — 00:04:28

In the description and comments

  • ★★ The description says that an hour after posting, Hank noticed a mild rash on his chest and found he has shingles. — video description

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: back pain · pain

Also: chemotherapy · common cold · Internet · Katherine Green · mind-body dualism · Punishment · YouTube Community tab

Only in the description or credits: Shingles

Also centred on back pain: The Two Reasons Why Humans Have Such Bad Backs

Also centred on pain: PUNISHMENT OF PAIN AND SCIENCE! · On Pain · My Physicalmental Illness · Tuberculosis and Hank's Shingles

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