I've Been Keeping a Secret…

2026-03-31 · announcement · John · 5:12 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Books & writing · mode: Announcements · tags: self promotion

John tells Hank he has written Hollywood, Ending, out September 22: his first novel in nine years and first for adults, about two young actors in a movie about Andy Warhol's last year, and about fame and the social internet's trade in personal lives. He will sign 82,000 pre-order copies toward a lifetime goal of a million signatures.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Announcement of Hollywood, Ending; nine years since Turtles All the Way Down; the story first read on pandemic semi-secret livestreams

★★★ John announces he has written a new book, Hollywood, Ending, out September 22, with signed copies available for pre-order now. — 00:00:00 · Hollywood, Ending · also in: My First Novel in Nine Years Has a Cover, Hollywood, Ending
★ John holds up The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: not his book, but a very important book to his book. (playful) — 00:00:00
★★ The book has no cover yet and John has not finished the copy edits. — 00:00:00 · Hollywood, Ending
★★ It is John's first novel in nine years: almost nine years have passed since Turtles All the Way Down came out. — 00:00:00 · Hollywood, Ending, Turtles All the Way Down
★★ John last published books in consecutive years in 2005 and 2006; now, 20 years later, Everything Is Tuberculosis came out last year (2025) and Hollywood, Ending comes out this year (2026). — 00:00:29 · Everything Is Tuberculosis, Hollywood, Ending
★★ John did not write it mainly in the last year: he has been working on Hollywood, Ending (with a comma in the title) since finishing Turtles All the Way Down. — 00:00:29 · Hollywood, Ending, Turtles All the Way Down
★★★ When the pandemic first emerged John read a story on a series of semi-secret livestreams; that story became this novel. — 00:00:29 · Nerdfighteria, COVID-19 pandemic, Hollywood, Ending

00:00:58 — The novel's premise (Kai, Juniper and their Andy Warhol movie) and themes: fame, the social internet, love

★★ Many times over the years John thought he could never publish the book, partly for personal reasons; now it is ready and he is very excited to share it. — 00:00:58 · Hollywood, Ending
★★★ The novel is about Kai and Juniper, two people in their early twenties who were in a movie together about the last year of Andy Warhol's life, called Andy Warhol Never Gets Old. — 00:00:58 · Hollywood, Ending
★ John loves a book or movie within a book: fictions that don't exist are better than ones that do, since they can be infinitely great. (playful) — 00:00:58
★★ Kai and Juniper navigate fame, work, early adulthood and their complex feelings for each other while their movie blows up, and so do their lives, intoxicatingly and painfully. — 00:01:27 · celebrity
★★★ Trading one's frailties for public attention used to concern mainly movie stars; now everyone on the social internet trades experiences, traumas and personal lives, part of what the book is about. — 00:01:27 · celebrity, social media
★★ The book is also about love and how we find it, and about celebrity and the fame machine, all of which John has seen up close over the last decade. — 00:01:56 · celebrity, Hollywood, Ending
★★ It is John's first novel for adults and, on several levels, more adult than his previous novels: the characters are older and the themes are for adults. — 00:01:56 · Hollywood, Ending

00:02:26 — A novel for adults; Looking for Alaska banned in Utah schools; years of doubting he could publish fiction again

★★ John doesn't think anything in it is inappropriate for teenagers; the novel is not pornographic. — 00:02:26 · Hollywood, Ending
★ John is sure people will still find a reason to ban it. — 00:02:26
★★★ John says his first novel, Looking for Alaska, was just banned in every single school in Utah. — 00:02:26 · Looking for Alaska (novel)
★★ John finds it hard not to take personally: one of the people behind the ban recently told him he is a bad person, and he is pretty sure he is not. — 00:02:26 · Looking for Alaska (novel)
★★★ For a long time John thought he would never publish another novel: he didn't know what his fiction was for or what he wanted it to do. — 00:02:55
★★ John has been trying to write this novel since 2017, with significant progress at points, but only in the last couple of years saw the path forward clearly. — 00:02:55 · Hollywood, Ending
★★★ John was reminded that writing is child's play, something he has done for fun since he was eight; he loves writing and loved writing this book. — 00:02:55 · Hollywood, Ending

00:03:24 — Signed pre-orders: 82,000 signatures despite arthritis, the million-signature goal, signing on livestream

★★★ John asks viewers to pre-order the signed edition at hollywoodendingbook.com soon; signed copies are available in the US and Canada. — 00:03:24 · Hollywood, Ending, United States, Canada, doobly-doo
★★★ John will sign 82,000 sheets of paper to be bound into copies of the book. — 00:03:24 · Hollywood, Ending
★★ John doesn't know how to make signed editions available internationally, given the complexity of international publishing, and apologizes. (unsure) — 00:03:24
★★ John admits he said he would never do this signing again because he has arthritis, and his shoulder, and so on. — 00:03:24
★★ John loves to sign books and no one can stop him, including his doctor, who is a little disapproving, and his spouse, who is a bit dubious. (playful) — 00:03:53 · Sarah Urist Green
★★★ John's dream and goal is for one person to sign a million books in a lifetime; he won't deny it anymore. (playful) — 00:03:53
★★ After finishing these signatures John will be at 782,000, most of the way to a million. — 00:03:53
★★ John knows it's silly, and an unsigned edition is available, but he wants to sign: it makes him happy, or something adjacent to happy. — 00:04:22
★★ John has limited himself to 82,000 signatures this time out of respect for his doctor and his spouse. — 00:04:22 · Sarah Urist Green
★★ John will sign the vast majority of the copies on livestream on John's Channel. — 00:04:22

00:05:02 — Waiting months to tell Hank, answering questions in comments, sign-off

★ John has been waiting months to tell Hank this news. — 00:05:02
★ John will be in the comments to answer viewers' questions, as long as they are not spoilers. — 00:05:02

In the description and comments

★★ The description says the book will be published internationally, including the UK and Brazil, but John doesn't yet know if or where signed copies will be available there. (unsure) — video description · United Kingdom
★★ In a comment John says the book will come out only in hardback at first; he would prefer simultaneous paperbacks, but his publisher disagrees. — creator comment
★★ In a comment John says he will not narrate the audiobook, since he doesn't feel comfortable doing it for fiction. — creator comment
★★ Asked in the comments whether there will be a book tour, John says yes. — creator comment
★★ In a comment John says every indie bookstore will have signed copies under ISBN 9780525556657. — creator comment
★ Replying to a comparison with Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, John says he would be lucky if his book were half as good; he loves it. — creator comment

Threads in this video

announced · Hollywood, Ending: announcement and publication of John's novel (2026) — John announces he has written a new book, Hollywood, Ending, out September 22, with signed copies available for pre-order now. (00:00:00)
looked back · Hollywood, Ending: announcement and publication of John's novel (2026) — When the pandemic first emerged John read a story on a series of semi-secret livestreams; that story became this novel. (00:00:29)
asked · John asks viewers in the US and Canada to pre-order signed copies of Hollywood, Ending (2026) — John asks viewers to pre-order the signed edition at hollywoodendingbook.com soon; signed copies are available in the US and Canada. (00:03:24)
promised · John: sign 82,000 sheets to be bound into pre-ordered copies of Hollywood, Ending (2026) — John will sign 82,000 sheets of paper to be bound into copies of the book. (00:03:24)
recalled · John: he will never again sign his name 250,000 times (2021) — John admits he said he would never do this signing again because he has arthritis, and his shoulder, and so on. (00:03:24)
promised · John: sign most of the 82,000 Hollywood, Ending sheets on livestream on John's Channel (2026) — John will sign the vast majority of the copies on livestream on John's Channel. (00:04:22)
promised · John: answer viewers' non-spoiler questions about Hollywood, Ending in the comments (2026) — John will be in the comments to answer viewers' questions, as long as they are not spoilers. (00:05:02)
restate · Do people need a private self, different from the self they show in public? — Trading one's frailties for public attention used to concern mainly movie stars; now everyone on the social internet trades experiences, traumas and personal lives, part of what the book is about. (00:01:27)
restate · Why make things? — John was reminded that writing is child's play, something he has done for fun since he was eight; he loves writing and loved writing this book. (00:02:55)
predicted · John: people will find a reason to ban Hollywood, Ending (2026) — John is sure people will still find a reason to ban it. (00:02:26)
looked back · Everything Is Tuberculosis: John's nonfiction book about tuberculosis (2024) — John last published books in consecutive years in 2005 and 2006; now, 20 years later, Everything Is Tuberculosis came out last year (2025) and Hollywood, Ending comes out this year (2026). (00:00:29)
update · Looking for Alaska named the most challenged book in the US for 2015 (2016) — John says his first novel, Looking for Alaska, was just banned in every single school in Utah. (00:02:26)
looked back · Turtles All the Way Down: announcement and publication of John's novel (2017) — It is John's first novel in nine years: almost nine years have passed since Turtles All the Way Down came out. (00:00:00)
came true · John: The Anthropocene Reviewed will not be his last book (2021) — John last published books in consecutive years in 2005 and 2006; now, 20 years later, Everything Is Tuberculosis came out last year (2025) and Hollywood, Ending comes out this year (2026). (00:00:29)
recalled · John: sign 100,000 copies of Everything Is Tuberculosis (2024) — John admits he said he would never do this signing again because he has arthritis, and his shoulder, and so on. (00:03:24)
update · John writes his first novel in almost ten years (2025) — John has been trying to write this novel since 2017, with significant progress at points, but only in the last couple of years saw the path forward clearly. (00:02:55)

Where the stories that moved here went next

John asks viewers in the US and Canada to pre-order signed copies of Hollywood, Ending (2026) — promotion (not a request); last: thanks, 2026-09-22
John: The Anthropocene Reviewed will not be his last book (2021) — came true
John: people will find a reason to ban Hollywood, Ending (2026) — unresolved; last: predicted, 2026-03-31
John: sign 82,000 sheets to be bound into pre-ordered copies of Hollywood, Ending (2026) — kept
John: sign most of the 82,000 Hollywood, Ending sheets on livestream on John's Channel (2026) — the project it belongs to reported its result; last: promised, 2026-03-31
John: answer viewers' non-spoiler questions about Hollywood, Ending in the comments (2026) — the project it belongs to reported its result; last: promised, 2026-03-31
Hollywood, Ending: announcement and publication of John's novel (2026) — completed; last: looked back, 2026-10-02

Mentioned

Central: celebrity · Hollywood, Ending · Juniper · Kai

Also: People: Andy Warhol · Sarah Urist Green

Projects: John's Channel

Works: Everything Is Tuberculosis · Looking for Alaska (novel) · Turtles All the Way Down

Terms: doobly-doo

Concepts: arthritis · book censorship · Copy editing · fiction · love · privacy · social media

Places: Canada · United States · Utah

Events: COVID-19 pandemic

Characters: Andy Warhol Never Gets Old

Only in the description or credits: Brazil · The Philosophy of Andy Warhol · Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow · United Kingdom

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