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Things I'm Not Thankful For

2009-11-25 · list · Hank · 3:52 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Pop culture, US politics & society, Nerdfighteria) · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: calendar ritual, community lore, punishment or challenge, self promotion, self correction

On 'Hanksgiving', the day before Thanksgiving, Hank lists what annoys him: sore guitar fingertips, comments on his anthem remark (which he clarifies), TV characters named Hank, evolution debates, John's Twitter lead and lopsided punishment suggestions; he ends by wishing John a happy Thanksgiving and congratulating him on Let It Snow.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Filming at sunset; yesterday's 50 thankful things; today is 'Hanks-[giving]', the opposite of Thanksgiving

  • ★★★ After listing 50 thankful things the day before, Hank declares the day before Thanksgiving 'Hanks-[giving]', the opposite of Thanksgiving, for listing what annoys him. (playful) — 00:00:00

00:00:29 — Sore guitar fingertips; comments on his national anthem position and his clarification: a song about defending ideals, not the ideals

  • ★ Hank says his fingertips constantly hurt, hard like little rocks, after playing guitar for two weeks straight. (playful) — 00:00:29
  • ★★★ Answering commenters who called his anthem position unsupportable, Hank admits he put it poorly and says his problem is that it is a song about defending ideals, not about the ideals. — 00:00:29 · YouTube
  • ★★★ Hank says he does not want to belittle Americans' bravery and sacrifice defending those ideals over 200 years, but every country defends its ideals; what he loves is that America has good ideals. — 00:00:29 · United States

00:01:11 — Too many TV characters named Hank; evolution debates in comments

  • ★★ Hank complains that too many TV characters are named Hank, claiming three current main characters (in Californication, a show called Hank, and a concierge doctor) plus Hanks on Bones and House. (playful) — 00:01:11
  • ★ Hank says South Park's Mr. Hanky arrived when he was in middle school, a bad time to have a poop named after you. (playful) — 00:01:11
  • ★★ Hank is annoyed that talking about evolution always sparks a gigantic, uninteresting debate in the comments, pointing to the one below this video. (playful) — 00:01:44

00:02:17 — John's 1 million Twitter followers versus Hank's 10,000; 2,000 punishment suggestions for Hank versus two for John; asks for John punishments

  • ★★ Hank says John has 1 million Twitter followers and he has 10,000; he is really happy with his 10,000, which seems ridiculous to him. (playful) — 00:02:17 · Twitter, John Green
  • ★★ Hank admits a little man inside him still feels a competitive urge with John, his big brother, which will never go away. — 00:02:17 · John Green
  • ★★ Hank complains there were about 2,000 comments on how to punish him but only about two on how to punish John. (playful, hedged) — 00:02:38 · Punishment, John Green
  • ★★ Hank asks viewers to leave comments suggesting how to punish John. — 00:02:38 · Punishment, John Green
  • ★★ Hank is annoyed that part of him can still be annoyed when he has "50 million" things to be thankful for. (playful) — 00:02:38

00:03:06 — Happy Thanksgiving to John; congratulations on Let It Snow becoming a New York Times bestseller; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank wishes John a happy Thanksgiving, is sorry they could not spend it together, and says he misses him most at holidays. — 00:03:06 · John Green
  • ★★★ Hank congratulates John on Let It Snow, his book with Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle, becoming a New York Times bestseller, and recommends it as a wintertime 'romp'. — 00:03:06 · Let It Snow, Maureen Johnson, The New York Times

Humor (significant)

  • Hank names the day before Thanksgiving, when he lists what he is not thankful for. — 00:00:00

    “It's called Hanks-”

  • Hank says he was okay with South Park's Mr. Hanky even though it arrived when he was in middle school. — 00:01:11

    “which is not a good time to have a poop named after you.”

  • Hank complains that mentioning evolution always sparks a huge comment debate. — 00:01:44

    “For reference, see the gigantic and uninteresting debate going on below me right now.”

  • Hank recommends Let It Snow as a wonderful wintertime romp. — 00:03:33

    “I don't even know what the word romp means, but it's a romp.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Works: Bones · Californication · Hank (TV series) · House · Let It Snow · The Star-Spangled Banner

Organizations: The New York Times · Twitter · YouTube

Rituals: Punishment

Concepts: evolution

Places: United States

Events: Thanksgiving

Characters: Hank Hill · Hank Moody · Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo

Only in the description or credits: Lauren Myracle · Maureen Johnson

Replies to

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