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TOP 7 FAILS OF HISTORY

2010-10-15 · list · Hank · 3:11 · watch on YouTube

Topic: History & curiosities (also: Everyday life) · mode: Comedy & performance

Hank, admitting he often feels like a failure, lists history's epic fails (Decca rejecting the Beatles, the Trojan horse, invading Russia, Wim Esajas sleeping through his race, Western Union passing on the telephone) to argue our own failures are insignificant, then asks why we fear failure.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank's feeling of failure and why history's bigger fails comfort him; introducing the Top 7 list

  • ★★★ Hank admits he sometimes feels like a huge failure, says everyone is petrified of failure, and says knowing others made far bigger failures keeps him trying new projects. (hedged) — 00:00:00
  • ★★★ Hank presents 'the Top 7 most epic fails of history', in no particular order, so viewers can see that their own failures, however big they seem, are insignificant. (playful) — 00:00:29 · Epic fail

00:00:48 — Fails 1-3: Decca rejects the Beatles, the Trojan horse, land wars in Asia and an island nation's bombing; decisions made by men

  • ★★ Hank says that in 1962 a Decca Studios manager told a four-man band auditioning there it had 'no future in show business'; two years later the Beatles sold $50 million of records. — 00:00:48
  • ★★ As fail number two, Hank acts out a Trojan commander telling his men to bring the horse the departed Greeks left into the city and leave it unguarded overnight. (playful) — 00:01:06
  • ★★ Hank says fail number three is getting involved in a land war in Asia, 'one of the classic blunders': anyone trying to take over all of Europe should leave Moscow alone. (playful) — 00:01:32
  • ★★ Hank adds that a small, technologically sophisticated island nation should not bomb a country it is not at war with, especially one that has just developed a city-destroying bomb. (playful) — 00:01:47
  • ★★ Hank says that although these epic fails can seem not to be made by any one person, they are decisions made by men. — 00:02:02 · Epic fail

00:02:07 — Wim Esajas sleeps through his Olympic race; Western Union turns down the telephone

  • ★★ On a more understandable scale, Hank says Wim Esajas, Suriname's first Olympian, slept through his race at the 1960 Olympics. — 00:02:07
  • ★★ Hank says in 1876 Western Union, owning America's communications, rejected Hubbard's telephone patent as an 'electrical toy'; Bell then founded AT&T and the telephone became history's most valuable patent. — 00:02:24 · United States

00:02:57 — Question to viewers: why are we so afraid of failure; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank asks viewers in the comments why we are so afraid of failure, though none of their failures caused millions of deaths or billions in losses, and what they fear. — 00:02:57

In the description and comments

  • ★★ Hank's description says he slept in and missed his speaking slot at an event in Missoula, felt like a failure, and read about history's worst fails to feel better. — video description · Missoula, Montana

Humor (significant)

  • Hank plays a Trojan commander congratulating his men on the beautiful horse the departed Greeks left behind. — 00:01:25

    “Let us bring it into the walls of our city and leave it unguarded overnight.”

  • After calling a land war in Asia one of the classic blunders, Hank advises anyone trying to take over all of Europe. — 00:01:42

    “just don't, just leave Moscow out of it. Just let them be.”

  • Hank solemnly introduces the historic 1960 performance of Suriname's first Olympian. — 00:02:21

    “was to sleep through his race.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

People: Alexander Graham Bell · Gardiner Greene Hubbard · Wim Esajas

Works: The Princess Bride (film)

Organizations: AT&T · Decca Studios · Western Union

Groups: The Beatles

Places: Moscow · Suriname · United States

Events: Attack on Pearl Harbor · Olympic Games

Myths: Trojan Horse

Memes: Epic fail

Only in the description or credits: Missoula, Montana

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