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A Middle Aged Man

2014-02-11 · letter vlog · John · 3:38 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Pop culture (also: Personal life) · mode: Personal essay · tags: timely hook, community lore

John realises he is middle-aged and ignorant of pop culture, finds he has never really heard a Justin Bieber song yet knows the colour of the Lamborghini in his DUI arrest, and argues that relishing celebrities' downfalls is bad for us: what we pay attention to is an important choice.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; an 'old school' vlogbrothers video with no plan

  • ★ John announces an 'old school' vlogbrothers video in which he sits down with no idea what he is going to talk about. — 00:00:01 · Vlogbrothers

00:00:08 — John realises he is a middle-aged man (Sarah's pause); triple-your-age theory; advantages of middle age, including no one expecting him to know pop culture

  • ★★★ Dressing for a cocktail party, John told Sarah he looked like a middle-aged man; her quarter-second pause before reassuring him made him realise he is one. — 00:00:08 · Sarah Urist Green
  • ★ John jokes that if he died at double his current age, people would say he had a good run rather than call it a tragedy. (playful) — 00:00:26
  • ★★ John's theory: you are not yet middle-aged if triple your age is a reasonable human age; Hank, 33, is on the edge at 99, while John, 36, is past it at 108. (playful) — 00:00:33
  • ★★ John says middle age has obvious downsides but also advantages, like the stability of adulthood and the pleasure of parenting. — 00:00:48
  • ★★ John says the biggest advantage is that no one expects him to know anything about pop culture, which is great because he doesn't. (playful) — 00:00:57

00:01:03 — John listens to Justin Bieber's top songs on camera: Boyfriend, One Time, Beauty and da Beat, Baby

  • ★★ John says he doesn't think he has ever heard a Justin Bieber song, so he listens to Bieber's top five songs on camera. (hedged) — 00:01:06
  • ★ John has never heard 'Boyfriend' (about 300 million views) or 'One Time', though he likes both, nor 'Beauty and da Beat' featuring Nicki Minaj. (playful) — 00:01:15
  • ★★ 'Baby' featuring Ludacris seems familiar, perhaps from a cover, so John concludes he has heard one Justin Bieber song, he thinks. (hedged) — 00:01:45

00:02:00 — Why does he know the colour of Bieber's rented Lamborghini, or Britney Spears' shaved head? Everyone relishes celebrities' downfalls

  • ★★ John says that, despite his ignorance of Bieber, he knows Bieber was recently arrested for DUI driving a rented Lamborghini, and that it was yellow. — 00:02:01
  • ★★ John asks, non-rhetorically, why he knows this when he has no investment in Bieber; he thinks no one should drink and drive. — 00:02:13
  • ★★ John wonders why the image of Britney Spears' shaved head is imprinted on his mind, taking up space he could use for, say, Dutch. (playful) — 00:02:24
  • ★★★ John feels that a relatively small number of people raise someone to celebrity, and then everyone gets to participate in relishing their downfall. (hedged) — 00:02:32 · celebrity
  • ★★ John says Bieber now seems more likely to be on tabloid covers than when he was doing really well, in the 'Baby' era. (hedged) — 00:02:41

00:02:49 — John realises he knows 'Baby' from Hank's Ice Cream Changes song: still zero for Bieber

  • ★★ John realises he knows 'Baby' only from Hank's 'Ice Cream Changes' song, so he is still 'zero for Bieber', or was until listening to the songs, which he quite liked. (playful) — 00:02:49

00:03:05 — Relish for celebrities' problems is bad for us; public chastising doesn't help; choosing what to pay attention to; toast; sign-off

  • ★★★ Without excusing anyone or calling celebrity the worst oppression, John worries that relishing celebrities' problems is bad less for them than for us. (hedged) — 00:03:05 · celebrity
  • ★★★ John doesn't think relentless public chastising helps anyone: if it did, we would see this happen less, and we don't. (hedged) — 00:03:18
  • ★★★ John says it is really hard to choose what we pay attention to, but it is among the most important choices we make. (hedged) — 00:03:23
  • ★★ John toasts sober driving, imagining others complexly, and not paying attention to the colour of someone else's rented Lamborghini. — 00:03:29 · imagine others complexly

Humor (significant)

  • John tells Sarah he feels he looks like a middle-aged man in his cocktail-party outfit. — 00:00:16

    “And then Sarah paused for like a quarter second too long before saying, "Nonono you look great!"”

  • Applying his triple-your-age theory of middle age, John works out that at 36 he would have to live to 108. — 00:00:43

    “Living to 108 doesn't even seem like a good outcome to me.”

  • Listening to Bieber's 'One Time' for the first time, John finds he likes it. — 00:01:30

    “Although he just rhymed "knock" with "stop".”

  • Mid-argument, John suddenly realises 'Baby' is familiar only because Hank used it in his Ice Cream Changes song. — 00:02:49

    “I'm still zero for Bieber!”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: celebrity · Justin Bieber · Middle age · Schadenfreude

Also: People: Britney Spears · Sarah Urist Green

Works: Baby · Beauty and a Beat · Boyfriend · One Time

Organizations: Lamborghini

Terms: doobly-doo · imagine others complexly

Concepts: '50s progression · drunk driving · moral outrage

Events: Justin Bieber DUI arrest

Only in the description or credits: Ludacris · Nicki Minaj

Also centred on Middle age: Old Man Yells at Cloud · I Was a Teenage Dirtbag · The Terrors of Middle Age

Replies to

  • continues · The Ice Cream Changes — “The "Ice Cream Changes" song, I know it because of your song!”

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