EVERY VLOGBROTHERS PUNISHMENT!
2014-07-18 · challenge / punishment · Hank · 4:00 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Nerdfighteria · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: community lore, punishment or challenge, civic or action cta
Answering John's claim that he owes a punishment, Hank races through a Nerdfighter-made spreadsheet of every vlogbrothers punishment since 2007 and concludes that, after the 2012 Kiva bet, each brother owes exactly one.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — John's 'you owe us a punishment'; Valerie2776's spreadsheet of all punishments becomes a video
- ★★ Answering John's claim that he owes a punishment, Hank says the brothers have been doing this so long, with so many punishable infractions, that it is getting confusing. (playful) — 00:00:01 · Punishment
- ★★ Nerdfighters led by Valerie2776 made a spreadsheet of all the brothers' punishments and their reasons, which Hank turns into this video, going fast so as not to be punished. — 00:00:06 · Nerdfighteria, Punishment
00:00:21 — The channel's three founding rules of January 1, 2007
- ★★★ Hank says the brothers created the channel on January 1, 2007 with three rules: a video on your day, no video over four minutes, and no textual communication between them. — 00:00:21 · Four-minute rule, No textual communication
00:00:31 — 2007 punishments: textual communication slips, the missed video, the first P4A
- ★★ That same month John CCed Hank on an email, counted as textual communication, and had to wax his chin. — 00:00:31 · No textual communication
- ★★ Hank later CCed John too and had to re-enact three of his most embarrassing moments with sock puppets. — 00:00:38
- ★★ For once writing 'see you tomorrow' in text in a video, Hank had to give away Peeps on the streets of Missoula, which is how he met Kurt the punk-rock Nerdfighter. — 00:00:44 · Peeps, Missoula, Montana
- ★★ When Hank IMed John in July and John replied, both were punished and dressed up like their most embarrassing high-school pictures. — 00:00:53
- ★★ In March John missed a video while hospitalised and replied to Hank on a forum, so he ate a blenderized Happy Meal, waxed his legs and licked a cat; Hank is unsure why three, possibly Daniel Biss donations. (hedged) — 00:01:03 · Daniel Biss
- ★★ During the first Project for Awesome in December 2007, Hank replied to John's comment and had to drink blended Peeps and Strawberry Hill wine while playing a show to six people, his first show ever; the only one there who knew him was his wife. — 00:01:15 · Project for Awesome, Peeps, Katherine Green
00:01:32 — Rule changes: textual rule abolished, schedule changes, four-minute exemptions
- ★★★ After 2007 the brothers abolished the textual communication rule, changed the schedule, and exempted educational videos, montage videos and 4:01 videos (YouTube adds a second) from the time limit. — 00:01:32 · Vlogbrothers, No textual communication, Four-minute rule, YouTube
00:01:49 — 2008 punishments: World Wide Web Girl, the Hankroll, the lard sandwich, 15 hours in Target
- ★★ In April 2008 Hank made a video 14 seconds too long and had to sing 'World Wide Web Girl' with pigtails in his hair. — 00:01:49 · Four-minute rule
- ★★ In October Hank left 30 seconds of nothing at the end of a video and had to dance around his house as Carrie Bradshaw singing 'Never Gonna Give You Up': the infamous Hankroll. — 00:01:59 · Rickrolling
- ★ In June 2008 John missed a video and had to eat a sandwich made of lard and protein meal. — 00:02:12
- ★ That November Hank made a video two seconds too long and had to spend 15 hours in a Target. — 00:02:19 · Four-minute rule
00:02:28 — 2010-2013 punishments: VidCon 2010, Helen Hunt, Grace Helbig, slobber carrots
- ★★ Both brothers failed to upload during VidCon 2010; the punishment videos were John's 'Fitness for Nerds' and Hank's Katniss Everdeen makeup tutorial. — 00:02:28 · VidCon, Punishment
- ★★ In 2011 the standing deal to punish Hank if Helen Hunt saw his 'Helen Hunt' video came true: she tweeted him, and he had to hump his entire town. — 00:02:33
- ★★ In 2013 Grace Helbig became the first non-brother punished, for a video over four minutes during John's paternity leave; though it was unclear the rules applied to her, she slapped herself. — 00:02:46 · Grace Helbig, Four-minute rule
- ★★ In October 2013 John's over-four-minute video was ruled not educational enough, and as punishment he ate slobber carrots made by his son. — 00:02:57 · Henry Green, Four-minute rule, Punishment
00:03:06 — The 2012 Kiva bet doubled the outstanding punishments; one each remains
- ★★★ Hank says that on October 28, 2012, with both brothers owing punishments for reasons he can't find, John bet Nerdfighteria: reach 1,000 videos before $1 million in Kiva loans and the punishments are wiped, otherwise doubled. — 00:03:17 · Nerdfighteria, Punishment
- ★★★ Nerdfighteria loaned the million dollars, so each brother had two punishments; they cleared one by making six videos in a week, three each, leaving one punishment each. — 00:03:34 · Nerdfighteria, Punishment
00:03:48 — Hank has an idea for his punishment; asks for John's punishment ideas; sign-off
- ★★★ Hank says he got a really good idea for his own punishment from comments on John's video, and asks everyone to comment what John's punishment should be. — 00:03:48 · Nerdfighteria, Punishment
Humor (significant)
-
Hank turns the punishment spreadsheet into a video against the four-minute rule. — 00:00:16
“because I do not wanna get punished I'm going very fast.”
-
Hank lists the time-limit exemption for videos that run 4:01. — 00:01:37
“Why, YouTube? Why do you add a second?”
-
Hank recalls dancing as Carrie Bradshaw while singing Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' as a punishment. — 00:02:11
“The infamous Hankroll.”
-
Nerdfighteria had to lend $1 million before the brothers reached 1,000 videos for punishments to double. — 00:03:34
“never underestimate Nerdfighteria, a million dollars was indeed loaned.”
Threads in this video
- looked back · Brotherhood 2.0: the 2007 year of daily video letters — Hank recalls that the brothers created the channel on January 1, 2007 with three rules: a video on your day, a four-minute limit (which Hank actually added on March 6, 2007), and no textual communication. (00:00:21)
- looked back · John's Kiva deal: if the Nerdfighter Kiva group reaches $1 million before the 1,000th vlogbrothers video, viewers may challenge both brothers to clear their outstanding punishments (2012) — Hank recounts John's October 28 bet: $1 million in Kiva loans before 1,000 videos would double the brothers' punishments; Nerdfighteria loaned it, so each had two, and one each was cleared by six videos in a week. (00:03:17)
- set · John: outstanding 2012 Kiva-deal punishment, ultimately an inkless tattoo (2012–2015) — Hank concludes John is left with one outstanding punishment from the 2012 Kiva bet, and tells him it was his own doing. (00:03:46)
- accepted · Hank: his punishment owed under the 2012 Kiva deal, performed as the science of pain (2012) — Hank accepts he has one punishment left and says a comment on John's video gave him a really good idea for it. (00:03:48) → refers to Exciting Announcements and Mosquito-Borne Illnesses
- result reported · John asks Nerdfighters for punishment suggestions for Hank in the comments (2014) — Hank reports a really good punishment idea for himself from the comments on John's video. (00:03:48) → refers to Exciting Announcements and Mosquito-Borne Illnesses
- asked · Hank asks viewers to suggest John's punishment in the comments (2014) — Hank asks everyone to leave comments suggesting what John's punishment should be. (00:03:51)
- reminder · John asks viewers to donate to Daniel Biss's Illinois state-representative campaign via ActBlue (2007) — In March John missed a video while hospitalised and replied to Hank on a forum, so he ate a blenderized Happy Meal, waxed his legs and licked a cat; Hank is unsure why three, possibly Daniel Biss donations. (00:01:03)
- callback · Hank's crush on Helen Hunt (2007) — In 2011 the standing deal to punish Hank if Helen Hunt saw his 'Helen Hunt' video came true: she tweeted him, and he had to hump his entire town. (00:02:33)
- looked back · Four-minute rule for vlogbrothers videos (2007) — Hank says the brothers created the channel on January 1, 2007 with three rules: a video on your day, no video over four minutes, and no textual communication between them. (00:00:21)
- result reported · John asks Nerdfighters to prove Helen Hunt has seen Hank's song about her (2008) — In 2011 the standing deal to punish Hank if Helen Hunt saw his 'Helen Hunt' video came true: she tweeted him, and he had to hump his entire town. (00:02:33)
- performed · John: eat a viewer-voted fat sandwich for missing his Sunday video (2009) — In June 2008 John missed a video and had to eat a sandwich made of lard and protein meal. (00:02:12)
- looked back · Brotherhood 2.0.0.9: the vlogbrothers' 2009 schedule and rules (2009) — After 2007 the brothers abolished the textual communication rule, changed the schedule, and exempted educational videos, montage videos and 4:01 videos (YouTube adds a second) from the time limit. (00:01:32)
- looked back · Bank of Nerdfighteria: the Nerdfighters' Kiva lending team — Nerdfighteria loaned the million dollars, so each brother had two punishments; they cleared one by making six videos in a week, three each, leaving one punishment each. (00:03:34)
- looked back on · Hank: 15 hours in the Missoula Target for his 4:02 video (2009) — That November Hank made a video two seconds too long and had to spend 15 hours in a Target. (00:02:19)
Where the stories that moved here went next
- John asks Nerdfighters for punishment suggestions for Hank in the comments (2014) — reported back; last: result reported, 2014-08-01
- John asks Nerdfighters to prove Helen Hunt has seen Hank's song about her (2008) — reported back; last: result reported, 2014-07-18
- John: outstanding 2012 Kiva-deal punishment, ultimately an inkless tattoo (2012–2015) — performed
- Hank: his punishment owed under the 2012 Kiva deal, performed as the science of pain (2012) — performed
Mentioned
People: Daniel Biss · Grace Helbig · Helen Hunt (actor) · Henry Green · Katherine Green · Kurt (bystander guest)
Projects: Project for Awesome · VidCon
Works: Helen Hunt (song) · Never Gonna Give You Up · Sex and the City (tv series) · song (ToyBox, 'World Wide Web girl')
Organizations: Kiva · Target Corporation · YouTube
Rituals: Four-minute rule · No textual communication · Punishment
Places: Missoula, Montana
Characters: Carrie Bradshaw · Katniss Everdeen
Products: Boone's Farm · Happy Meal · Peeps
Memes: Rickrolling (“Hankroll”)
Only in the description or credits: Rick Astley · Valerie2776
Replies to
- answers · Exciting Announcements and Mosquito-Borne Illnesses — “So in your last video, you were like, 'You owe us a punishment!'”
Later videos replying to this one
- 2014-07-22 · Ambiguous Victories and Real Progress: Behind the Beautiful Forevers (John) — answers (accept on John: outstanding 2012 Kiva-deal punishment, ultimately an inkless tattoo (2012–2015)) — John says he still believes he does not owe a punishment but will do one because of the data in Hank's punishment rant. (00:00:04)