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How to Never Feel Embarrassed Again

2014-11-18 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:59 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Personal life) · mode: Personal essay · tags: community lore, civic or action cta, calendar ritual, self correction

Hank contrasts his untroubling 'dipthong' slip with his scarring college 'fah-caid' and argues embarrassment is about feeling wrong, not being wrong: own your mistakes, and trusted places like Nerdfighteria make that possible.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting, happy Pizzamas; people enjoy John's green-screen time ('John Greenscreened')

  • ★ Hank tells John people have been enjoying his green-screen time and are calling it 'John Greenscreened'. (playful) — 00:00:01

00:00:07 — Hank's 'dipthong' slip in his Friday video and his college 'fah-caid' presentation on Alberti; why one embarrasses him and not the other

  • ★★ Hank says that in his Friday video (14 November 2014) he used the word 'dipthong', which does not exist; he meant diphthong, which he has pronounced and spelled wrong for at least a decade. — 00:00:12
  • ★★ Hank is not embarrassed about his diphthong mistake and wants to know why. — 00:00:27
  • ★★ In college Hank gave an oral presentation on Leon Battista Alberti and said 'fah-caid' for façade about 26 times, learning the right pronunciation from a friend afterwards. — 00:00:34
  • ★ Hank: Leon Battista Alberti was a Renaissance mathematician, architect and artist who designed many of the building fronts in Florence. — 00:00:34
  • ★★ Hank: mispronouncing diphthong in front of 200,000 people didn't bother him, but 'fah-caid' in front of twenty people left a permanent scar. — 00:01:08

00:01:20 — Confidence in being wrong: embarrassment is feeling wrong, which trusted people and places like Nerdfighteria make easier; the cathartic comment thread

  • ★★★ Hank thinks the difference is mostly confidence: being confident when you're wrong is one of the most amazing things a person can be. (hedged) — 00:01:22
  • ★★ Hank means not continuing to believe something known to be wrong, but finding out you're wrong and being confident in understanding your own wrongness; such people seem cool. — 00:01:40

  • ★★ Hank: feeling fine about being wrong is logical, because, as he has said before, he is a towering mountain of ignorance, all simplicity is a lie, and even when right you're a little wrong. — 00:01:56 · the truth resists simplicity

    “I am a towering mountain of ignorance”

  • ★★ Hank: internalising this has been a lifelong process and only works where he is among people he trusts and feels confident around, as on the Vlogbrothers channel and in Nerdfighteria. — 00:02:07 · Vlogbrothers, Nerdfighteria

  • ★★★ Hank: embarrassment is not about being wrong but about feeling wrong, and it is hard for him to feel wrong here because viewers are nice. — 00:02:26 · Nerdfighteria

    “Embarrassment really isn't about being wrong, it's about feeling wrong”

  • ★ Hank: sometimes the most embarrassing part of embarrassment is the embarrassment itself, which is weird. — 00:02:34

  • ★★ In the comments of his Friday video Hank owned up to 'dipthong', likening it to John's recent 'hectacre', and asked people for their own 'hectacre moments'. — 00:02:40
  • ★★ Hank read the roughly 300 replies before filming: hilarious, wince-inducing, several also about façade; he thinks the thread was cathartic for everyone in it. — 00:02:49
  • ★★★ Hank: being wrong is part of being a person, and you have to work on how to be wrong without feeling wrong. — 00:03:06

00:03:13 — Ask: tell us an embarrassing thing; own it and reassure others; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank asks viewers who have time to share an embarrassing thing that happened to them, so everyone can feel better knowing everyone does dumb things. — 00:03:13 · Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ Hank thinks owning it is the number one thing to do, and others should tell people admitting embarrassing things that they're awesome and not to worry. (hedged) — 00:03:23

00:03:41 — End screen: three days left of Pizzamas; P4A moved up to December 12-13 because of the Paper Towns shoot

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: diphthong · embarrassment

Also: Florence · hectare · Leon Battista Alberti · Paper Towns (film) · Pizzamas · Project for Awesome · the truth resists simplicity

Also centred on embarrassment: MORTIFICATION · The Most Important 10 Words a Stranger Ever Said to Me

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