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The Most Important 10 Words a Stranger Ever Said to Me

2021-09-10 · story · Hank · 3:47 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Personal life) · mode: Personal essay

Formerly titled The Most Important 9 Words a Stranger Ever Said to Me.

Hank recalls how, at 11 or 12 at a summer-camp dance, an older girl mistook his cringing at an over-enthusiastic nerdy dancer for envy, saying she wished she could dance like him too, and argues that her few words helped him take up more space: trying harder will strike some as cringe and others as admirable.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — How Hank became himself; summer camps mixing young people of different ages

  • ★ Hank has been thinking about how he became who he is, which is not clear, though there were important moments on that road. — 00:00:00
  • ★ Hank finds summer camps a little weird: young people of different ages share one social environment, historically the norm but now unusual since schools sort children by age. — 00:00:09

00:00:33 — The camp dance: a nerdy boy dancing too much, Hank's embarrassment, and an older girl's sympathetic remark

  • ★★★ At 11 or 12, at a summer-camp dance, Hank stood by the benches feeling second-hand embarrassment at an older nerdy boy dancing way too much, and thought it was embarrassing. — 00:00:33
  • ★★★ An older, higher-status girl, maybe 16, told Hank sympathetically that she too wished she could dance like the boy; she had mistaken his cringe for envy, and his life changed. — 00:01:15
  • ★ Hank jokes that from then on he was always his true authentic self and everyone loved him for it, then says none of that happened. (joke) — 00:01:45

00:01:59 — Accepting her version of reality, taking up more space; go bigger and some will admire it

  • ★★★ Hank accepted the girl's version of reality: not everyone felt as he did about the dancing, so he began to take up more space and live through moments unsure what others would think. — 00:01:59
  • ★★★ Hank says if you go bigger and try harder, some people will probably think it is cringe, but some might wish they could dance like you too. (hedged) — 00:02:33
  • ★★ Neither the dancer nor the girl remembers the moment; they may know Hank now from Crash Course without knowing they met him in 1991. — 00:02:44 · Crash Course

00:03:02 — Putting himself out there is not natural for Hank; a few words with a tremendous impact

  • ★★ Putting himself out there is not natural for Hank: it is his extreme sport, liked the way some people like jumping out of planes. — 00:03:09
  • ★★ Hank had plenty of agency in how he used the moment, but a few words had a tremendous impact on him, which makes him happy. — 00:03:20

In the description and comments

  • ★ In a comment Hank adds that putting himself out there not being natural for him does not mean he doesn't like doing it. — creator comment
  • ★ The description suggests opening Spotify and subscribing to SciShow Tangents, a science trivia game show podcast. — video description

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: embarrassment

Also: Crash Course

Only in the description or credits: SciShow Tangents · Spotify

Also centred on embarrassment: MORTIFICATION · How to Never Feel Embarrassed Again

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