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My Worst Job Search Fail

2018-08-17 · story · Hank · 3:59 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Personal life) · mode: Advice & reviews

Hank tells how, right out of college, he overheard a staffer mock his own rejected cover letter, explains why rejected applicants are never told why, shares hirers' odd disqualifiers from Twitter and Reddit, and concludes that applicants should make the hiring call easy and can only raise their chances of getting a job.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank's story: overhearing a staffer dissect his rejected cover letter at Katherine's nonprofit

  • ★★★ Right out of college, Hank applied for a job at the nonprofit where Katherine, now his wife, was working, and did not get an interview. — 00:00:04 · Katherine Green
  • ★★★ Visiting Katherine at the job, Hank overheard an older staffer describe in detail the worst cover letter he had received, and realized it was Hank's. — 00:00:20 · Katherine Green
  • ★★ Hank stood and listened without revealing himself, feeling as if he were in the interview he had hoped for, only hearing why they didn't want to talk to him. — 00:00:44
  • ★★ Hank calls it one of the finest humiliations of his life, but not a cruelty, since the man had no way of knowing it was him. — 00:00:59

00:01:16 — Why no one tells rejected applicants the real reason: quick subjective calls and no time for feedback

  • ★★★ Hank says no one ever tells you why you didn't get a job; 'a huge number of qualified applicants' is often true, but the real reason goes untold. — 00:01:16
  • ★★★ Reason one: hirers with many applications and little time make quick, subjective calls that may be wrong, and sometimes the reason is dumb. — 00:01:32
  • ★★ Reason two: giving detailed feedback to every applicant would be a huge amount of work, and managers have other work to do. — 00:01:43

00:01:50 — Coda: Katherine disliked the man; the story was told on Dear Hank and John

  • ★★ Hank thinks he came out a little on top, especially after Katherine told him the man was a jerk she disliked so much she secretly squeezed his pears. (playful, hedged) — 00:01:50 · Katherine Green
  • ★ Hank notes that listeners of Dear Hank and John have heard this story before. — 00:02:03 · Dear Hank and John

00:02:08 — Hirers' unexpected disqualifiers from Hank's Twitter and AskReddit question

  • ★★ Hank suggests we may not talk enough about why people don't get jobs and should talk about it more. (hedged) — 00:02:08
  • ★★ Hank asked on Twitter, and in an AskReddit post, for unexpected ways candidates had disqualified themselves, and got many good replies. — 00:02:13 · Twitter, Reddit
  • ★★ Hank reports the most common answer: candidates being rude to office staff or assistants before meeting the interviewers. — 00:02:28
  • ★ One poster kept getting no callbacks until he realized his Gmail profile picture showed him doing a bong rip. — 00:02:39
  • ★★ Since many hirers cite bios like 'lazy procrastinator', Hank tells job seekers to pause self-deprecating Twitter bios during the job hunt. — 00:02:48 · Twitter
  • ★★ Hank mocks rejecting candidates for bad handwriting: it is 2018, and that is what computers are for. (playful) — 00:02:58
  • ★★ Hank objects to a hirer who rejected someone for naming Bridge to Terabithia as a favorite movie: it is okay to like a movie you don't. (playful) — 00:03:08
  • ★ Hank says Bridge to Terabithia has 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. — 00:03:12

00:03:14 — Lessons: make the hiring call easy; you can only increase your chances; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank finds these threads really helpful for anyone who is or might be looking for work. (hedged) — 00:03:17
  • ★★★ The applicant's job is to make the hiring call easy: signal that you understand the problem they need solved and will solve it well and happily. — 00:03:23
  • ★★★ You aren't figuring out how to get the job, only how to raise your chances: the dumbest little thing can put your application in the wrong pile, and you'll never know. — 00:03:35

In the description and comments

  • ★★ Hank writes that job hunting is a huge power imbalance, efficient hirers versus unpaid applicants who must work to convince, but sees no other way for it to work. (hedged) — video description
  • ★★ Hank writes that rejection is super awful: every time he applied for a job and got no interview he felt terrible. — video description
  • ★★★ Hank writes that not getting a job has no bearing on your worth as a person; the company may well have hired the wrong person, having limited resources and a call to make. — video description
  • ★ Hank points viewers to an animation by Vezitos of him and Katherine. — video description · Katherine Green

Humor (significant)

  • Hank describes the older staffer who is dissecting Hank's own cover letter. — 00:00:36

    “He's tall. He's tan. He's handsome. He's fit.”

  • Katherine disliked the man who mocked Hank's cover letter so much that she took petty revenge. — 00:01:59

    “sneak into the kitchen sometimes and squeeze his pears just a little bit”

  • Hank on hirers who reject candidates for bad handwriting. — 00:03:01

    “Is this a calligraphy job?”

  • A hirer rejected someone whose favorite movie was Bridge to Terabithia. — 00:03:12

    “It's got 85% on Rotten Tomatoes.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: Recruitment

Also: Bridge to Terabithia (film) · Dear Hank and John · Gmail · Katherine Green · Reddit · Rotten Tomatoes · Twitter

Only in the description or credits: Vezitos

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