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Like Apocalyptic Horsemen

2023-09-29 · letter vlog · John · 4:27 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Philosophy & meaning, Projects) · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: calendar ritual, self promotion, community lore, recurring series, heavy topic

In a four-part Pizzamas video John shows the Cheez-A-John planter, tells Hank how grateful he is that Hank is through chemo, argues Hank's mustache must end with Pizzamas, and reflects that adulthood is full of change rather than a final station.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; part one: the Cheez-A-John terracotta planter

  • ★★ John calls the Cheez-A-John, a terracotta planter of his head, the weirdest thing ever to happen to him: chia seeds grow his hair, or it holds any plant. (playful) — 00:00:00 · Pizzamas
  • ★ John plans to plant mint in the planter so he can offer guests a mint julep with mint from his own head. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:00

00:00:29 — Planter plug; part two: gratitude that Hank is through chemo, and the near-cancellation of Pizzamas

  • ★★★ John says the planter is available only during Pizzamas and only at pizzamas.com, along with a very soft blanket. — 00:00:29 · Pizzamas
  • ★★★ John tells Hank he is extremely grateful, relieved and happy that Hank is, at least for the foreseeable future, through chemo and doing so well. — 00:00:58 · Hank Green
  • ★★ John recalls that five months ago the brothers discussed on the phone whether to cancel Pizzamas; some items were already ordered, so they could not. — 00:00:58 · Pizzamas, Hank Green

00:01:27 — Part three: the case that Hank's mustache must end with Pizzamas (Prof, the 2011 goatee)

  • ★★★ John says the family is concerned that Hank hinted his mustache might become permanent, and insists it should only be a Pizzamas mustache. (playful) — 00:01:27 · Hank Green, Pizzamas
  • ★★ As exhibit A, John says Hank looks like Minneapolis rapper Prof, except soft; after citing a memorable Prof lyric, he says Prof can pull off the mustache because he is hard. (playful) — 00:02:14 · Hank Green
  • ★★ As exhibit B, John cites the great goatee debacle of 2011: since it aged so poorly, a post-Pizzamas mustache might too, so it has to end with Pizzamas. (playful) — 00:02:14 · Hank Green, Pizzamas
  • ★★ John says Pizzamas reminds him how distant he is from his 2007 self, who somehow made videos every other weekday for a year; his life was very different then. — 00:02:14 · Pizzamas, Brotherhood 2.0

00:03:04 — Part four: distance from his 2007 self; adulthood is full of change; sign-off

  • ★★★ John once thought life was a bullet train ending at a station called adulthood, where you wait for death; in fact adulthood is really interesting and full of change. — 00:03:04
  • ★★★ John says he has changed a ton in adulthood too, including since starting this project. — 00:03:33 · Vlogbrothers
  • ★★ John says his 2007 self had no idea what it was like to have kids, to live in one town for 17 years, or to be part of an online community that convinced a multinational not to profit from TB tests in poor countries. — 00:03:33 · Nerdfighteria, tuberculosis
  • ★★ John says his 2007 self also could not know the terrible and hard things ahead, such as Hank getting cancer. — 00:03:33 · Hank Green, cancer
  • ★★ John says that, in a lovely way, he feels very distant from his 2007 self, and wonders what his 2039 self knows: amazing things, he is sure, and terrible ones. — 00:04:03
  • ★★ John closes by citing Octavia Butler: the only lasting truth is change. — 00:04:03

Humor (significant)

  • John plans to grow mint in the planter of his own head to serve guests mint juleps. — 00:00:29

    “I have fresh mint. It comes out of my head.”

  • John compares mustached Hank to the Minneapolis rapper Prof, a fellow excellent lyricist. — 00:02:14

    “Prof can pull off the mustache because he's hard. And you're, respectfully, Soft.”

  • Arguing like a lawyer with exhibits, John reluctantly brings up Hank's old goatee. — 00:02:14

    “I would also like to enter into evidence the great goatee debacle of 2011.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: adulthood · Pizzamas

Also: People: Octavia E. Butler · Prof

Projects: Brotherhood 2.0

Organizations: Danaher Corporation · United Nations

Concepts: cancer · moustache · tuberculosis

Places: Minneapolis

Also centred on adulthood: 40 · It's My Birthday. I Gave Myself This Video. · Searching for Betsy in Brazil

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