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40

2017-08-29 · letter vlog · John · 3:13 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life · mode: Personal essay · tags: calendar ritual, self promotion, fundraising ask, community lore, timely hook

Turning 40, John says he once saw adulthood as a destination and an existential death, kept his 20s light to avoid it, but now loves having roots and would not be younger: adulthood is underrated and not a destination, and his settled life feels wilder and more precious than ever. He then reports finishing signing 200,000 Turtles All the Way Down sheets, announces next week's first-chapter reading, and asks Nerdfighters to donate to flood relief.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Turning 40: adulthood once imagined as a destination and a death; roots, luck, and adulthood as not a destination

  • ★★ John says he just turned 40, which has led to some existential navel-gazing, but not with the conclusions one might expect. — 00:00:00
  • ★★★ John says that through his teens and 20s he thought of adulthood as an ending: life was a road trip whose destination was adulthood, which you could never leave. — 00:00:12
  • ★★ John says he believed adult responsibilities (lawns, soccer practice, credit scores) would pin you down and stop you growing, making you a robot that fulfills obligations: an existential death before physical death. (hedged) — 00:00:31
  • ★★ John says that to delay adulthood he kept his life light in his 20s, once telling a girl he was dating that he could pack his life into his car in 15 minutes; she dumped him soon after. (playful) — 00:00:52
  • ★★ John jokes that adults must say they underestimated adulthood, tricking themselves that they're having a great time rather than being slowly strangled by homeowners association meetings. (playful) — 00:01:08
  • ★★★ John says that, for the record, he loves being in a place that's hard to leave, having roots and friends he has known for 25 years. — 00:01:21
  • ★★★ John says he sometimes feels overwhelmed by adult obligations but would not want to be 15 or 25 again. — 00:01:32
  • ★★★ John grants he has been incredibly lucky professionally and personally, but from the many middle-aged people he knows he honestly thinks his experience is the rule rather than the exception. (hedged) — 00:01:41
  • ★★ John says adulthood is so underrated. — 00:01:54
  • ★★★ John says it turns out that adulthood is not a destination. — 00:01:56
  • ★★ John doesn't think his life has grown less interesting as it has grown more settled. (hedged) — 00:01:58

  • ★★★ John says he used to think suburban life with a spouse and two kids stank of failure, a waste of what Mary Oliver called your one wild and precious life, but at 40 his life feels wilder and more precious than ever. — 00:02:04

    “your one wild and precious life”

  • ★★ John says his way of being an adult is not the only good way or right for everyone, just right for him: if this is 40, he'll take it. — 00:02:17

00:02:26 — Birthday thanks; signing of 200,000 Turtles sheets finished; signed copies; next week's first-chapter reading

  • ★ John thanks everybody for their birthday wishes and turtle cakes. — 00:02:26
  • ★★★ John announces he has finished signing all 200,000 copies of Turtles All the Way Down; the boxes are gone. — 00:02:30 · Turtles All the Way Down
  • ★★ John says the 200,000 signed sheets are now at the printer in Virginia being bound into copies of Turtles All the Way Down. — 00:02:34 · Turtles All the Way Down
  • ★★ John says Amazon and barnesandnoble.com have sold out their allotments of signed copies, but there are many other ways to get them; more info at probablysignedturtles.com. — 00:02:39 · Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Turtles All the Way Down
  • ★★★ John announces that his video next week (5 September 2017) will be him reading the first chapter of Turtles All the Way Down. — 00:02:47 · Turtles All the Way Down
  • ★★ John says next week's (week of 4 September 2017) video, his reading of the first chapter of Turtles All the Way Down, will be over four minutes but is not punishable, citing precedents from 2011 and 2008 when he read the first chapters of The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns. (playful) — 00:02:51 · Four-minute rule, Punishment, The Fault in Our Stars, Paper Towns, Turtles All the Way Down

00:02:59 — Flooding in Texas, Louisiana, India, Nepal and Bangladesh; ask to donate to relief

  • ★★★ John tells friends and viewers affected by flooding in Texas, Louisiana, India, Nepal and Bangladesh that they are thinking of them, and asks Nerdfighters who are able to join him in donating to relief organizations via links below. (hedged) — 00:02:59 · Nerdfighteria

In the description and comments

  • ★★ The description asks viewers to donate to help those affected by Hurricane Harvey via the Red Cross, the Houston Food Bank or the Greater Houston Community Foundation. — video description
  • ★★ The description asks viewers to donate to help those affected by flooding in South Asia, the worst in decades, through Save the Children or Oxfam India. — video description · Save the Children

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: adulthood

Also: People: Mary Oliver

Works: Paper Towns · The Fault in Our Stars · Turtles All the Way Down

Organizations: Amazon · Barnes & Noble

Rituals: Four-minute rule · Happy John Day · Punishment

Terms: doobly-doo

Concepts: Middle age

Places: Bangladesh · India · Louisiana · Nepal · Texas · Virginia

Only in the description or credits: American Red Cross · Greater Houston Community Foundation · Houston Food Bank · Hurricane Harvey · Oxfam India · Save the Children · South Asia

Also centred on adulthood: It's My Birthday. I Gave Myself This Video. · Searching for Betsy in Brazil · Like Apocalyptic Horsemen

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