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Red Green, the Nintendo, and HANK

2010-03-05 · story · John · 3:06 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: on location

From Bellingham, John tells the childhood mystery of how poop got inside his beloved Nintendo, narrows the suspects to Hank or the family dachshund Red Green, and asks Hank to answer honestly by Monday.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting from a literature conference in Bellingham, Washington; Question Tuesday video coming over the weekend; leave questions

00:00:10 — John's question for Hank: the childhood Nintendo, the dog Red Green, and the morning he found poop inside the Nintendo

  • ★★ John notes that in more than three years of videos the brothers have never discussed Red Green, and wonders whether Hank is guilty of a terrible crime. (playful) — 00:00:16
  • ★★ John says that as a kid his best friend was the Nintendo Entertainment System, and he hardly left the house. (playful) — 00:00:29
  • ★★ John says the family also had a miniature dachshund, Red Green, who hated him, enjoyed biting children and peed on John's carpet while staring at him. (playful) — 00:00:49
  • ★ John is on his way to a bookstore to try to secretly sign some of his books. — 00:00:54
  • ★ John says after long days of Zelda, Mario, Double Dribble and Blades of Steel he would leave the NES cartridge flap open. — 00:01:05
  • ★★★ John says one summer morning he found Red Green had pooped inside the Nintendo through the flap he had left open overnight; the family knows Red Green for it. (playful) — 00:01:29

00:01:58 — The suspects: John, the parents, Hank or Red Green himself; John asks Hank to confess by Monday

  • ★★ John says the doors were locked overnight, so the suspects are the family and Red; he knows he didn't do it, and finds their parents unlikely since he thinks they liked the Nintendo keeping him busy. (playful, hedged) — 00:01:58 · Sydney Green, Mike Green
  • ★★ John concludes that either Hank put the poop in the Nintendo or Red Green, in a jealous fit, projectile-pooped into it, which he cannot rule out. (playful, hedged) — 00:02:23
  • ★★★ John asks Hank to answer honestly whether he put Red Green's poop in the Nintendo or Red Green was a pooping genius, expecting the answer on Monday. (playful) — 00:02:54 · also in: The Case of the Poopy Nintendo

Humor (dominant)

  • John says that putting Blades of Steel in the machine he discovered red poop; well, the poop wasn't actually red, it was brown. — 00:01:57

    “but it was from Red.”

  • Ruling himself out, John says he loved that Nintendo more than he loved his own... — 00:02:10

    “I'll just say it, brother.”

  • John's second theory: in the night Red Green woke in a fit of violent jealousy, backed up to the Nintendo and put his bum against its opening. — 00:02:38

    “projectile poop into the Nintendo.”

  • John asks Hank whether he put Red Green's poop in the Nintendo. — 00:03:00

    “Or was Red Green some kind of pooping genius?”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

People: Mike Green · Sydney Green

Works: Blades of Steel · Cluedo · Double Dribble · The Legend of Zelda

Rituals: Question Tuesday

Places: Bellingham, Washington

Characters: Mario

Products: Nintendo Entertainment System

animal: Red

Later videos replying to this one