Is My Boyfriend Gay? Is He Cheating?

2011-04-11 · list · John · 2:50 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Personal life) · mode: Advice & reviews · tags: community lore, recurring series

Before moving to the Netherlands for two months, John plays 'Google auto-fill once again proves that people are weird' with 'Is my b...' questions, joking through them while arguing that questions about a partner are not for Google: talk to your boyfriend.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Life news: reading and signing in Plainfield, Indiana on Thursday; moving to the Netherlands for two months on Friday; anxiety

• ★★ John says that on Thursday he will be reading and signing in Plainfield, Indiana. — 00:00:00
• ★★★ John says that on Friday (15 April 2011) he is moving to the Netherlands for two months, which he kept meaning to mention to Hank amid everything going on. — 00:00:03

00:00:11 — 'Google auto-fill once again proves that people are weird': 'Is my b...', husband, wife, girlfriend and gun questions

• ★★ When stressed, John plays 'Google auto-fill once again proves that people are weird', answering the questions people most often ask Google beginning 'Is my b...'. (playful) — 00:00:11 · Google

00:00:48 — 'Is my boyfriend gay?': sexuality is not either/or; a question for your boyfriend, not Google

• ★★★ John says human sexuality is not an either/or proposition, and denying its complexity will make both the asker and their partner miserable. — 00:00:48
• ★★★ John says whether your boyfriend is gay is not a question for Google but a question for your boyfriend. — 00:00:56 · Google

00:01:03 — 'Is my baby sick?': Google cannot take your baby's temperature; when to call a doctor

• ★★ John says people google 'Is my baby sick?' to avoid taking a rectal temperature, but Google can't take your baby's temperature; that is the parent's job. (playful) — 00:01:03 · Google
• ★★ John says that if a baby under six weeks old has a temperature over 101, you should call your doctor immediately. — 00:01:25

00:01:31 — Cheating, teething and losing interest; the 'is my boyfriend cheating' quiz: something is wrong that Google can't answer, talk to him

• ★★★ John says that if you just googled 'is my boyfriend cheating on me', there is definitely a problem, whether or not he is cheating. — 00:01:39
• ★★★ John lists possible problems - cheating, an untrustworthy partner, inability to trust, not feeling good enough, feeling undervalued or smothered - that Google cannot answer; you have to talk to your boyfriend. — 00:01:46 · Google
• ★★ John says such conversations sometimes end in a break-up, which sucks but is better than later having to google 'is my husband cheating'. — 00:02:00

00:02:12 — Baby boy or girl, cheating again, blood pressure ('good to be green'), baby sleeping too much

• ★★ John says that if a baby is eating enough and gaining weight, it is not sleeping too much. — 00:02:34

00:02:43 — Nerdfighters with partners, talk to each other; sign-off; John goes to pack

• ★★★ John tells Nerdfighters with boyfriends and girlfriends to talk to each other. — 00:02:43 · Nerdfighteria
• ★ John signs off saying he has to go upstairs and pack. — 00:02:47

Humor (significant)

• The top autocompleted questions men ask about their wives are whether they are cheating and what their tax status is. — 00:00:24

  “And people say men aren’t romantic, Hank.”

• John says you want your blood pressure in the green or the yellow, not in the orange or the red. — 00:02:24

  “Yet another example, Hank, of why it’s good to be green.”

• Answering 'Is my baby sleeping too much?', John first reassures parents that a baby eating and gaining weight is fine. — 00:02:34

  “Second off, don’t take this personally, but I hate you.”

Threads in this video

• told · John's two-month move to the Netherlands (April 2011) — John tells Hank he is moving to the Netherlands for two months on Friday, after a reading and signing in Plainfield, Indiana on Thursday. (00:00:03)
• variation · Answering Google autocomplete questions (2010) — John plays 'Google auto-fill once again proves that people are weird' again, answering the most-asked 'Is my b...' questions. (00:00:11)
• restate · Should LGBTQ people be fully accepted, with equal rights including marriage? — John tells someone asking whether their boyfriend is gay that human sexuality is not either/or and that denying its complexity makes both partners miserable. (00:00:48)
• restate · What makes a good romantic relationship or friendship? — John holds that worries about a partner (is he gay, is he cheating) are questions for the partner, not Google: talk to each other, even if that leads to a break-up. (00:01:57)

Where the stories that moved here went next

• John's two-month move to the Netherlands (April 2011) — told 2×, last update 2012; last: retold, 2012-03-27

Mentioned

Central: sexual orientation

Also: Google · Google Autocomplete · Netherlands · Plainfield, Indiana · Venn diagram

Only in the description or credits: Karen Kavett

Also centred on sexual orientation: Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More · Is Lady Gaga a Man? · Coming Out and Sperm Spikes · Human Sexuality is Complicated… · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg

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