Coming Out and Sperm Spikes
2011-10-12 · letter vlog · Hank · 4:00 · watch on YouTube
Topic: US politics & society (also: Science & nature) · mode: Personal essay · tags: timely hook
On National Coming Out Day Hank argues that people, far more complex than electrons, resist neat categories: he recalls fearing at 12 he was gay because of stereotyped cues, says he is straight but effeminate ('a Kinsey one or two'), and urges viewers to be honest with themselves; he opens with a bed-bug coda to John's animal-mating Truth or Fail.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Greeting; thanks for John's animal-sex Truth or Fail; traumatic insemination in bed bugs, including males stabbing males
- ★★ Thanking John for his animal-sex Truth or Fail, Hank says John missed the most fascinating thing: some bed bugs inseminate females by stabbing sperm through the thorax (traumatic insemination). — 00:00:09
- ★★ Hank says male bed bugs also stab other males, shoving in sperm to mix with theirs, so the original stabbing male's sperm may end up fertilizing a female's eggs. — 00:00:22
00:00:49 — 'Actual video topic': wave-particle duality (link to a video); even simple electrons are hard to categorise, yet we categorise far more complex humans
- ★ Hank recommends a video that explains how small particles function both as particles and waves, linked on screen and in the description. — 00:00:51
- ★★★ Hank: electrons are as elementary as it gets yet hard to categorise as wave or particle; humans are orders of magnitude more complicated, yet we still try to categorise ourselves and each other. — 00:01:11
00:01:27 — National Coming Out Day: Hank as 'a bit of an electron'; gay stereotypes and his fear at 12 (ice skating to the Village People); not gay but effeminate, Kinsey 1 or 2; orientation is complicated; know more about the electron before judging
- ★★ Hank says that as a younger man he was 'a bit of an electron', unsure whether he was a particle or a wave, except when someone was observing, when he was 'definitely a particle'. (playful) — 00:01:33
- ★★ Some people know whether they are gay or straight by age five; Hank thinks they are the exception rather than the rule. — 00:01:46
- ★★★ By puberty Hank knew being gay was tied, at least theoretically, to social cues (flamboyance, loving ice skating and stuffed animals, hanging out with girls non-romantically), so he thought he might be gay, which scared him because he didn't want to be different. — 00:01:53
- ★★ Hank remembers, at 12, ice skating to the Village People and worrying that liking it so much was a problem. — 00:02:22
- ★★★ Hank says this sounds funny but isn't: someone can be so afraid of what they might be, and liking ice skating to the Village People says nothing about one's sexual orientation. — 00:02:39
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★★★ Hank says it turns out he is not gay; he is kind of effeminate, a less guyish kind of guy. — 00:02:49
“I'm just sort of a less guyish kind of guy.”
-
★★★ Hank says sexual orientation is very complicated and rarely 100% in either direction (he is 'like a Kinsey one or two heterosexual'), which is hard to accept because it upsets assumptions about gender roles and orientation. — 00:02:56
- ★★ If an electron were a person, Hank would want to know a lot more about it than whether it was a particle or a wave before judging what kind of person it was. — 00:03:15
00:03:28 — Message for National Coming Out Day: be honest with yourself and those you love, even if unsure who you are; unless you are a bed bug; sign-off
- ★★★ Hank's message for National Coming Out Day (today in the UK, yesterday in the US): be honest with yourself and the people you love, even if unsure who you are, as most of us are; try to be who you are. — 00:03:28 · United Kingdom, United States
Threads in this video
- restate · Can we imagine other people complexly, and what stops us? — Hank says humans are orders of magnitude more complicated than electrons yet we still categorise ourselves and each other; he would want to know far more about a person than one label before judging. (00:01:20)
- restate · Should people follow gender norms? — Hank calls himself 'kind of effeminate', 'a less guyish kind of guy', and says the complexity of orientation makes a mess of assumptions about what gender roles mean about people. (00:02:52)
- restate · Should LGBTQ people be fully accepted, with equal rights including marriage? — On National Coming Out Day Hank says stereotyped interests say nothing about orientation, orientation is complicated and rarely 100% either way, and people should be honest with themselves and those they love. (00:02:56)
Mentioned
Central: bed bug · electron · National Coming Out Day · sexual orientation · traumatic insemination · wave–particle duality
Also: gender role · Kinsey scale · stereotype · Truth or Fail · United Kingdom · United States · Village People
Only in the description or credits: gender identity
Also centred on National Coming Out Day: October 11th National Coming Out Day
Also centred on sexual orientation: Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More · Is Lady Gaga a Man? · Is My Boyfriend Gay? Is He Cheating? · Human Sexuality is Complicated… · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg
Replies to
- continues · Animal Mating and Librarian Talking — “thank you, ever so much, for your truth or fail on animal sex”
Later videos replying to this one
- 2011-10-14 · Defying Wadsworth! (John) — answers — “your video on Wednesday was brilliant” (00:03:41)