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you're bundled up now? wait till you get older.

2020-08-03 · letter vlog · John · 3:51 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Nerdfighteria) · mode: Personal essay · tags: calendar ritual, civic or action cta, fundraising ask, heavy topic

On Esther Day 2020, John remembers Esther Earl and her wish for a day celebrating non-romantic love, reflects that old college pictures show now feels permanent but isn't, tells Hank how hard saying 'I love you' once was and how working together reconnected them, and asks viewers to tell people they love them.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Esther Day greeting; Ransom's college pictures; feeling time; Esther's text about the holiday

  • ★★ John's friend Ransom recently sent him pictures he took of John when they were in college together. — 00:00:05
  • ★★ John says he has felt more aware of time lately, that time is the longest distance between two places, as Tennessee Williams put it. — 00:00:11
  • ★★★ John recalls that just over ten years ago Esther Earl texted him that she wanted the holiday Nerdfighteria celebrated on her birthday, August 3rd, to be about love. — 00:00:20 · Esther Earl, Esther Day, Nerdfighteria

00:00:29 — Esther's wish for non-romantic love, her death, This Star Won't Go Out, her friends' lasting friendships

  • ★★★ Esther meant the non-romantic kinds of love our culture rarely celebrates: a day to say 'I love you' to friends, family and others whose love goes unacknowledged. — 00:00:29 · Esther Earl
  • ★★★ John says Esther died just a few weeks later at 16; she would be in her mid-20s now, and he thinks about her and misses her a lot. — 00:00:41 · Esther Earl
  • ★★ Esther's family started This Star Won't Go Out in her memory; it gives direct relief to families with sick kids and grants to young creative people. — 00:00:52 · This Star Won't Go Out (charity), Esther Earl
  • ★★ Through the charity, her family and her friends, John says he still feels Esther's presence. — 00:01:05 · This Star Won't Go Out (charity), Esther Earl
  • ★★ Esther's friends from those Nerdfighteria days remain close, most recently gathering at one's wedding; seeing these decade-plus friendships flourish is a great joy of the online community. — 00:01:09 · Nerdfighteria, Esther Earl

00:01:27 — Missing Esther; the Grand Canyon picture; old pictures show now feels permanent but isn't

  • ★★ John wishes Esther had been at Katie's wedding and at last year's (2019) VidCon; she wasn't, but the love she shared with family and friends is still here. — 00:01:27 · Esther Earl, VidCon
  • ★★ About ten years before the first Esther Day, the picture was taken on a trip to the Grand Canyon, when they were young and full of hope and strong opinions. — 00:01:41 · Esther Day, Esther Earl
  • ★★★ John says his twenty-year-old self could not know his current joys or sorrows; old pictures remind him that he too cannot see the bad times or the light-soaked joy ahead. — 00:01:50

  • ★★★ For John, seeing old pictures is a reminder that now feels permanent but isn't, and that mere despair never tells the whole story. — 00:02:10 · hope

    “mere despair never tells the whole story”

  • ★★★ John tells Hank he didn't know him well back then: he left for boarding school when Hank was 11 and didn't keep close to him. — 00:02:20 · Hank Green

00:02:31 — John's guilt as a distant big brother and how working together reconnected him with Hank

  • ★★★ John felt his big-brother job was to protect Hank and felt great guilt at failing; saying 'I love you' grew harder because he hadn't said it in so long and felt he wasn't a good brother. — 00:02:31 · Hank Green
  • ★★★ Working together, including on their Partners In Health project, has been John's way back into deep connection with Hank, and the work itself expresses their shared love. — 00:02:49 · Hank Green, Partners In Health
  • ★★ John loves hanging out with Hank, their rambling phone calls and being on stage with him, unpredictable, fearless and funny without cruelty; Hank's love helps hold him together. — 00:03:05 · Hank Green
  • ★★ John says that now more than ever it feels impossible to accurately imagine the future or remember the past; neither feels fixed. — 00:03:22

00:03:29 — Love is the constant; ask to tell friends and family you love them; sign-off

  • ★★★ John says Esther was right that the constant is love: much from 2010 feels dated now, but not Esther Day. — 00:03:35 · Esther Earl, Esther Day
  • ★★★ John hopes viewers will take a moment to tell friends and family that they love them and are grateful for their love. — 00:03:42

In the description and comments

  • ★★ The description and John's channel comment invite viewers to support and learn about This Star Won't Go Out at tswgo.org. — video description · This Star Won't Go Out (charity)
  • ★ In a channel comment John says there would be no Vlogbrothers video the next day, as he wanted this to be his video that week, and that the old pictures were shot on black and white film. — creator comment

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Esther Day · Esther Earl · love

Also: People: Ransom Riggs · Tennessee Williams

Projects: VidCon

Organizations: Partners In Health · This Star Won't Go Out (charity)

Concepts: friendship · hope · online community · photography · romantic love

Places: Grand Canyon

Only in the description or credits: All Star

Also centred on love: I Love My Brother · Happy Esther Day! · Lives Made of Love - Esther Day 2016 · Two Love Stories · Uncertain and Afraid · I L*** Hank

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