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Esther Earl

community member · in 49 videos (2010–2026)

Nerdfighter and friend of the brothers who helped run the Project for Awesome behind the scenes and died of cancer in 2010 at 16. Esther Day, on her birthday, August 3rd, celebrates non-romantic love, and the brothers still mark it years later.

Speaks in 2 videos; this page lists what is said about them.

Videos by year: 2010: 7 · 2011: 6 · 2012: 5 · 2013: 4 · 2014: 4 · 2015: 2 · 2016: 2 · 2017: 4 · 2018: 1 · 2019: 2 · 2020: 3 · 2021: 1 · 2022: 1 · 2023: 2 · 2024: 1 · 2025: 1 · 2026: 3

Also known as: Esther, Nerdfighter Esther Earl, Esther Grace Earl, crazycrayon

Threads

Also named in the threads: LeakyCon 2009 edition · Hank asks viewers to buy Harry Potter Alliance raffle tickets for Haiti (2010) · The Harry Potter Alliance's Helping Haiti Heal raffle (2010) · The brothers' agreement never to use the L-word about each other (2010) · John asks Nerdfighters to buy This Star Won't Go Out bracelets at DFTBA.com/Esther (2010) · The Fault in Our Stars: writing, title and publication (2011) · John's time as a student chaplain at a children's hospital (c. 2000) · The Fault in Our Stars film adaptation (2012) · John invites viewers to enter the This Star Won't Go Out t-shirt design contest (2012) · Hank invites viewers to donate to This Star Won't Go Out on Esther Day (2012) · John asks viewers to pre-order This Star Won't Go Out, Esther Earl's book (2013) · John: do a live show reading from Esther Earl's book This Star Won't Go Out (2014) · John's long day at the 2015 MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles (April 2015) · Dear Hank and John: the brothers' advice podcast (2015) · John co-hosts a stop on Joe Biden's book tour and is struck by his listening · The doctor who said 'sneezing is not normal, I never sneeze', nicknamed Dr. NeverSneezer Scrooge by Hank (2021) · The brothers ask viewers to join the annual Esther Day livestream party (2021) · Hank's Hodgkin lymphoma diagnosis and chemotherapy (2023) · John's 2024 depression and his month away from the internet (2024)

Often together

What comes up in the same parts of the videos; the number is how many parts.

Esther Day (45) · This Star Won't Go Out (charity) (23) · This Star Won't Go Out (book) (8) · cancer (12) · The Fault in Our Stars (12) · doobly-doo (8) · Hazel Grace Lancaster (3) · Harry Potter (book series) (4) · DFTBA Records (7) · social construction (2)

What the videos say

The most important statements of each year; all statements.

2010

  • 2010-05-14 · Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More — ask: John says Esther Earl, one of their favourite Nerdfighters, is sick, and asks Nerdfighters to sign her guestbook en masse to say they are thinking of her and think she is awesome. — 00:03:39
  • 2010-07-05 · With Esther — John: This weekend a group of Esther's friends visited her in Boston, and John spent a day with them: 'an amazing day of amazing'. — 00:00:14
    • John spent the night thinking how grateful he is to know Esther and how to give thanks for their weird, internet-based, cross-generational friendship. — 00:01:34
    • Without Harry Potter John would have no Esther, and there probably would not be a Nerdfighteria. (hedged) — 00:01:51
  • 2010-07-20 (said on 2010-07-19, implied) · I Like Balls — John says his proudest day as a Nerdfighter came last week (week of 12 July 2010), not when the Vlogbrothers hit 300,000 subscribers, but when Nerdfighters came together with Esther and helped the Harry Potter Alliance win $250,000. — 00:01:43
  • 2010-08-02 · I Love Hank: Esther Day 2010 — announcement: John says it is Monday, August 2, 2010 (August 3 in Australia), so in Australia it is Nerdfighter Esther's 16th birthday, a.k.a. Esther Day. — 00:00:00
    • John says that when he met Esther in Boston, he promised her that on her birthday, forever, the brothers would make videos about whatever she wanted. — 00:00:00
  • 2010-08-27 · Rest In Awesome, Esther — John reports that Esther Earl, the Nerdfighter who inspired many of Nerdfighteria's recent worldsuck-decreasing projects, died earlier this week (week of 23 August 2010), aged 16. — 00:00:01
    • John describes Esther as an amazing kid, astonishingly empathetic, thoughtful and very funny, but not an angel or a model of perfection: a person, a teenager. — 00:00:33
    • Esther means 'star', and her friends printed a bracelet reading 'This Star Won't Go Out'; John says it won't: we won't let it. — 00:02:40
  • 2010-10-27 · You Are Awesome — announcement: John: Answering Nerdfighters who asked where to get a 'This Star Won't Go Out' bracelet like his, John says they are now sold at DFTBA.com/Esther. — 00:00:42
    • John says they bought the bracelets and Alan at DFTBA Records processes and packages every order free, so 100% of the money goes to the This Star Won't Go Out Foundation. — 00:00:42
  • …and 32 statements more in 2010 — all statements of 2010

2011

  • 2011-02-09 · NERDFIGHTERS UNITE! (in your pants) — John says Nerdfighteria has accomplished a ton in recent months, including raising more than $10,000 with Esther for This Star Won't Go Out. — 00:01:36
  • 2011-06-10 · Then I Took Off My Bra — ask: John reminds viewers This Star Won't Go Out bracelets are at DFTBA.com, with 100% of proceeds to the foundation set up in Esther Earl's memory to support families affected by cancer. — 00:01:44
    • John says that in the almost ten months since Esther died, more than $10,000 has been raised for This Star Won't Go Out, and thanks Nerdfighteria. — 00:02:02
  • 2011-08-03 · I Love My Brother — Hank says Esther was an awesome Nerdfighter who did amazing things with her friends; she would have turned 17 today had she not died of cancer. — 00:00:00
    • Hank opens by announcing it is Esther Day and trying out 'I love you' on John, promising he'll get there eventually. (playful) — 00:00:00
    • Hank recounts that last year (2010), when Esther was very sick, John promised the brothers would do whatever she wanted on her birthday in perpetuity, and she asked them to talk about family and love every year. — 00:00:29
    • Hank thinks Esther asked for Esther Day a little for herself and for Nerdfighteria, but mostly for the brothers themselves. (hedged) — 00:01:27
    • Hank thinks Esther, at both the beginning and the end of her life, had a special wisdom: she knew loving each other is pretty much the most important thing we do. (hedged) — 00:01:27
    • Hank tells viewers that this is what Esther Day is about: tell the people you love that you love them so that they know. — 00:01:56
    • Having put it off since the opening ('John, I will get to you later'), Hank ends the video by telling John 'I love you'. — 00:03:16
  • 2011-08-05 · Vidcon: Thoughts from Places — John tells Hank 'I love that. I love you,' and wishes him a happy belated Esther Day. — 00:02:20
  • 2011-10-28 · Reading Chapter One of The Fault in Our Stars — announcement: John says The Fault in Our Stars is dedicated to his friend Esther Earl. — 00:01:12
  • …and 3 statements more in 2011 — all statements of 2011

2012

  • 2012-01-10 (said on 2012-01-09, implied) · The Fault in Our Stars — John says he could never have written TFIOS without knowing Esther, who definitely inspired it, but stresses that Hazel is not Esther: the book is made up, a novel. — 00:02:11
  • 2012-07-31 · Nerd Olympics — announcement: John announces that Friday is Esther Day, honoring Esther, who inspired much of The Fault in Our Stars and Nerdfighteria, by telling people we love that we love them. — 00:02:03
    • Esther's family is holding an Esther Day event in Quincy, Massachusetts; John urges viewers to go (link in the description). — 00:02:03
    • Viewers can enter a t-shirt design contest for This Star Won't Go Out, the organization Esther's family set up in her memory. — 00:02:03
    • John loves Esther Day and is grateful to Esther for the gift of making people say 'I love you' to each other. — 00:02:32
  • 2012-08-03 · I Don't Understand My Life — Hank: Reading that comment this week (week of 30 July 2012) made Esther's message hit home for Hank harder than ever. — 00:01:59
    • Esther Earl was a Nerdfighter the brothers met in 2009 at the first LeakyCon; she and her friends were and remain very important to Nerdfighteria; she had lived with cancer a long time. — 00:02:08
    • When Esther was really sick, John told her the brothers wanted to celebrate her birthday every year the channel existed; after about two weeks she chose a day for saying 'I love you' to family and friends. — 00:02:19
    • This Esther Day viewers 'get a gold medal in love' if they say 'I love you' to people they don't usually say it to; don't take love for granted or assume people know how you feel. — 00:03:03
  • 2012-09-14 · 1000 VIDEOS!!! — Hank lists results: $300,000 and thousands of videos for charities through P4A, thousands of This Star Won't Go Out bracelets, over $1,000,000 lent through the Nerdfighter Kiva group, hundreds of Thoughts from Places. — 00:01:04
  • 2012-09-25 · Do Businesses Need to Suck? — ask: John reminds viewers they can order Esther bracelets, with proceeds going to This Star Won't Go Out, which supports children with cancer and their families. — 00:03:24

2013

  • 2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John says none of those books addressed what he saw at the hospital, which left him feeling only nihilism; then he became friends with Esther Earl and became a father. — 00:53:28
    • John says Esther, a Nerdfighter reader very sick with cancer when they met in 2009, taught him what Augustus learns: the real hero's journey goes from strength to weakness. — 00:54:11
    • John says it looks as if he jumped into the abyss with Esther, but she jumped in with him: he was hopeless, and she liked being alive. — 00:54:53
    • John says the realization that Esther's short life was still a good, rich and full life was central to The Fault in Our Stars. — 00:55:41
    • John says books seem one person's work, but TFIOS was partly written by Esther, his wife, Julie Strauss-Gabel, Jodi Reamer, John Darnielle, Hank and T. S. Eliot. — 00:59:48
  • 2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — John: Asked what he would most like to tell Esther about, John says he wishes she could have read The Fault in Our Stars and often wonders whether she would have liked it. — 00:00:50
  • 2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John says Esther Earl was a huge inspiration for The Fault in Our Stars and he could never have written it without knowing her. — 00:00:00
    • Answering readers who ask whether Hazel is Esther, John says the novel is not Esther's story; her story belongs to her and her family. — 00:00:00
    • John announces a book of Esther's writing (diaries, fiction, letters, material from her parents, his introduction), out January 2014; cover not final. — 00:00:29
  • 2013-08-03 · Esther Day 2013 — John marks Esther Day 2013, the day in memory of Esther when people say 'I love you' not to romantic partners but to friends and family, to whom it is harder to say. — 00:00:00
    • John: the brothers remember Esther on Esther Day and every day by trying to spread her message of love. — 00:01:07
    • John recalls telling Esther the brothers would hold Esther Day on her birthday as long as they make Vlogbrothers videos; she chose love between family and friends as its theme. — 00:01:19
  • …and 6 statements more in 2013 — all statements of 2013

2014

  • 2014-01-07 · Warm Things for Cold Times — John says Esther Earl was the brothers' friend and a Nerdfighter who died of cancer when she was sixteen. — 00:00:40
    • John says Esther inspired much of The Fault in Our Stars, but the novel is not about her. — 00:00:43
    • John presents Esther's actual story as a book: he wrote the introduction and other people wrote other parts. — 00:00:47
    • John calls it an amazing book: Esther was a beautiful writer and her parts are the best. — 00:00:47
    • John reads the first sentence of his introduction: his friendship with Esther began, as so many great love stories do, at a Harry Potter convention. — 00:01:00
    • John announces a book launch event on February 1st in Boston with Nerdfighters, wizard rockers and Esther's family, livestreamed on youtube.com/vlogbrothers. — 00:01:06
  • 2014-01-14 · Giving Away Over $700,000 — John describes This Star Won't Go Out as set up in memory of Esther Earl to give direct support to families of kids with cancer. — 00:01:15
  • 2014-01-28 · Question Tuesday! TFIOS Movie Trailer, Penguin Knees, and Backflips — announcement: John: Esther Earl's book comes out today; John is 'so flipping excited' and calls the book wonderful. — 00:01:15
    • John says he will do a live show tomorrow (29 January 2014) to read from Esther's book and talk more about it. — 00:01:25
  • 2014-08-03 · Happy Esther Day! — Hank explains Esther Day: in 2010 John asked Esther Earl, a nerdfighter who helped inspire The Fault in Our Stars, what the community should do on her birthday; she chose love in families and friendships, not romance. — 00:00:35
    • Hank recalls that John last year (2013) called Esther Day a Valentine's Day for the rest of love. — 00:00:51
    • Hank asks viewers to take time today to say 'I love you' to people they don't normally say it to: it's a good thing to do, and it's what Esther wants. — 00:01:09
  • …and 1 statement more in 2014 — all statements of 2014

2015

  • 2015-04-14 · A Long Good Day — John: The Fault in Our Stars won Best Movie, and John made the acceptance speech, as everyone had urged, so that he could thank Esther. — 00:02:38
  • 2015-08-03 · I Love You, Hank. Esther Day 2015 — John: On Monday, August 3rd, Esther Day, John says he is in Agloe, New York, though he can't be sure exactly where it is, a place 'only sometimes real'. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:00
    • John says that on Esther Day we remember Esther Earl as she wished, by celebrating love in families and friendships, not just romantic love. — 00:00:17
    • John says Esther Day is the day to say 'I love you' to family and friends even, especially, when it's hard. — 00:00:27
    • John points viewers to Esther's book and to DFTBA.com or TSWGO.org to support This Star Won't Go Out, the charity Esther's family created to support families of children with cancer. — 00:01:19

2016

  • 2016-08-03 · Lives Made of Love - Esther Day 2016 — The description says Esther Earl, a Nerdfighter who died in 2010 at 16, asked that her birthday be a day for saying "I love you" to people you love but don't tell enough. — video description
    • Hank says Esther Day, August 3, celebrates kinds of love society is less good at celebrating, though they hold society together. (hedged) — 00:02:03
    • Hank tells John he loves him not for their projects or as collaborator and thinker but because he's a great brother who stands by him even when he's a jerk. — 00:02:16
    • Hank thanks Esther for giving everyone a day to remember that. — 00:03:15
  • …and 1 statement more in 2016 — all statements of 2016

2017

  • 2017-02-28 · You Are Here — John wants to say now what he struggled to say at the NerdCon closing ceremonies: he thought about Esther a lot that weekend. — 00:00:12
    • John recalls Esther Earl, a Nerdfighter who with her friends helped run the Project for Awesome behind the scenes and who died of cancer in 2010 at 16. — 00:00:18
    • On Saturday (25 February 2017) John visited Esther's grave with her parents and one of her sisters; many Nerdfighters have visited over the years, leaving artwork, keychains and This Star Won't Go Out bracelets. — 00:00:34
    • Esther met her Nerdfighter friends in the comments of the brothers' old BlogTV live shows, staying in the chat after the shows: their friendship happened in a space the brothers created and then vacated. (hedged) — 00:00:44
    • At Esther's grave John kept wondering how to thank and repay someone who is gone for the lasting gifts of their love and friendship. — 00:02:13
  • 2017-07-18 · Accio Decade Hallows — John: Without the song they wouldn't have met Esther or the people behind the Project for Awesome, Hank probably wouldn't have sung before thousands, and John doubts he would be signing 200,000 copies of his new book. (hedged) — 00:03:34
  • 2017-08-03 · HAPPY ESTHER DAY!!! — John marks Esther Day: seven years ago today Esther Earl made a video saying she loved her sisters, brother, parents, pets and friends, online and in real life. — 00:00:03
    • John says Esther died a few weeks later aged just 16, and every year on August 3, her birthday, they pause to celebrate Esther Day, a celebration of love. — 00:00:23
    • John says Esther wanted special attention paid to the non-romantic love among family and friends that often goes unacknowledged in our culture. — 00:00:33
    • John hopes viewers will take a moment on Esther Day to tell people in their lives that they love them, especially if it is hard to do. — 00:00:57
    • John highly recommends Esther's memoir This Star Won't Go Out, a beautiful book available wherever books are sold. — 00:01:53
  • 2017-12-05 · On the Movies — John says The Fault in Our Stars held parts of him people knew about, like his friendship with Esther Earl, and parts of traumatic experiences he had never told anyone. — 00:01:22
  • …and 4 statements more in 2017 — all statements of 2017

2018

  • 2018-08-03 · How Do Adults Make Friends? — Hank marks Esther Day, a day in the community, and ideally the world, to celebrate non-romantic love by telling the people you love that you love them, even if awkward. — 00:00:00
    • The description recalls that Esther Earl, asked by her family how she wanted to be remembered on her birthday, chose a celebration of love among family and friends. — video description

2019

  • 2019-08-02 · The Cutest Octopus — ask: Hank notes Esther Day is tomorrow and tells everyone to get ready to tell the people they love that they love them. — 00:03:37
  • 2019-08-03 · I Love John: Esther Day 2019 — The description says Esther Earl was a Nerdfighter, activist and cool person who died of thyroid cancer in 2010. — video description
    • Hank marks the occasion: it is the tenth Esther Day. — 00:00:20
    • For ten years, at the request of nerdfighter Esther Earl, the community has taken a day to tell friends and family, not internet faves or crushes, that we love them. — 00:00:45
    • Esther's request to celebrate her birthday by celebrating familial love was genius: there was no day for that, and the tradition needed to exist. — 00:02:40
    • Hank asks everyone else, first-timers or ten-year veterans, to text, email, call or write a letter telling people who probably know it that they love them; they'll love hearing it. — 00:03:25
  • …and 1 statement more in 2019 — all statements of 2019

2020

  • 2020-08-03 · you're bundled up now? wait till you get older. — John recalls that just over ten years ago Esther Earl texted him that she wanted the holiday Nerdfighteria celebrated on her birthday, August 3rd, to be about love. — 00:00:20
    • Esther meant the non-romantic kinds of love our culture rarely celebrates: a day to say 'I love you' to friends, family and others whose love goes unacknowledged. — 00:00:29
    • John says Esther died just a few weeks later at 16; she would be in her mid-20s now, and he thinks about her and misses her a lot. — 00:00:41
    • Esther's family started This Star Won't Go Out in her memory; it gives direct relief to families with sick kids and grants to young creative people. — 00:00:52
    • John says Esther was right that the constant is love: much from 2010 feels dated now, but not Esther Day. — 00:03:35
    • John hopes viewers will take a moment to tell friends and family that they love them and are grateful for their love. — 00:03:42
  • 2020-09-29 · How 'bout Yours? — John remembers a walk ten years ago (2010) with his friend Esther: for her Make-A-Wish she gathered Nerdfighter friends and invited him, and on the way to gelato they had to cross a bridge. — 00:00:29
    • The bridge had a see-through floor and John dislikes heights and bridges; Esther noticed, said they were almost across and offered him her wheelchair to push and hold on to. — 00:01:05
    • John says Esther has been gone over ten years, but her thoughtfulness and kindness still help him and hold him together. — 00:03:04
    • Esther's kindness reminds John that your bridge may be scary even if his isn't, and he often tells himself he is almost across the bridge and can hold on to something if needed. — 00:03:29
  • 2020-10-27 · The time I met Joe Biden — John: Biden told John his family loved The Fault in Our Stars and it helped them process his son's cancer diagnosis; he asked about Esther, with tears in his eyes as John talked. — 00:00:58
    • John was struck that Biden wanted to talk about Esther more than about the success of the book or the movie. — 00:01:27
  • …and 4 statements more in 2020 — all statements of 2020

2021

  • 2021-08-03 · I L*** Hank — John: Eleven years ago, asked what holiday to celebrate on her birthday, Esther Earl imagined one celebrating non-romantic love in friendships and families, which too often goes unspoken. — 00:00:00
    • On Esther Day John tells Hank he loves him. — 00:00:00
    • Esther knew non-romantic love got too little attention and that John rarely said 'I love you' to Hank, so she gave them Esther Day, for which he is grateful. — 00:00:29
    • Esther died a few weeks after the first Esther Day in 2010, aged 16; her parents then founded This Star Won't Go Out, which gives direct financial support to families of kids with cancer. — 00:00:58
    • After Esther died, the community talked about doing things not just for her or in her memory but with her, carrying her legacy in its work. — 00:01:56
    • For John nothing rights the wrong of Esther's illness and death or lessens the grief of those who loved her, but he is very proud of how Nerdfighteria responded. — 00:01:56
    • John recommends that viewers new to Nerdfighteria read Esther's book, also called This Star Won't Go Out. — 00:01:56
    • John sees the response in thousands celebrating Esther Day, the community's commitment to child health including pediatric cancer care in impoverished communities, and support for This Star Won't Go Out. — 00:02:26
    • Esther's memory lights the way in all these projects, and John hopes they continue for many years. — 00:02:26
    • We are only here briefly; John sometimes protects himself from cracking open with cynicism and irony, but today he urges gathering courage, being with Esther and saying what we mean. — 00:02:55
    • John hopes viewers take a moment today to acknowledge the love in their lives, especially the kinds that are hard to say out loud. — 00:02:55
    • In a P.S. John says he really hopes to see viewers at tonight's Esther Day Gala, linked in the description. — 00:03:25
  • …and 1 statement more in 2021 — all statements of 2021

2022

  • 2022-08-03 · Why is it So Hard to Say 'I Love You'? — Hank wishes John a happy Esther Day, tells him he loves him, and says that saying it is getting easier, and he has ideas why. — 00:00:00
    • The description asks viewers to register for the Esther Day livestream (8 PM Eastern) featuring Sarah and John. — video description
    • Hank's third reason: Esther made them practice. — 00:01:56
    • Hank explains that Esther Earl, an early community member, died of cancer in 2010, and asked how to celebrate her birthday, chose non-romantic love: a Valentine's Day for all other kinds of love. — 00:01:56
    • Hank says anything new is hard the first time, and outside one's experience still hard the fifth, but after about 12 Esther Days it is easier, which is a good gift. — 00:02:40
    • Hank announces an Esther Day livestream tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern with people from This Star Won't Go Out, Esther's family, John and Sarah, and the Animal Wonders folks. — 00:02:40

2023

  • 2023-08-03 · I love you, Hank. Happy Esther Day. — John explains Esther Day: a holiday founded by Esther Earl, a friend and longtime nerdfighter who died of cancer in 2010 at 16, for the love between family and friends. — 00:00:00
    • The description invites viewers to join the Esther Day livestream tonight at 8 PM Eastern. — video description
    • John says this Esther Day hits different: Hank's cancer diagnosis reminded them life is fragile and that they are fortunate in the people they share life with. — 00:01:27
    • John says Esther saw this at 16 better than he did in 2010, and gave them the holiday as a chance to tell people they care. — 00:01:27
    • John says Esther's family set up This Star Won't Go Out, giving direct financial support to families of kids with cancer, and he understands better than ever how much it helps. — 00:02:46
    • John encourages viewers to say 'I love you' to the people they love, especially when it's hard. — 00:03:16
  • 2023-12-24 · John and Hank Hanging Out but they Keep Getting Younger and More Pixelated — John says he told Esther the holiday would be on her birthday as long as they make Vlogbrothers; she wanted it about love between family and friends, a Valentine's Day for the rest of love. — 01:43:00
  • …and 2 statements more in 2023 — all statements of 2023

2024

  • 2024-08-03 · I Love Hank. (Also I'm back.) — John returns to YouTube on Esther Day after his longest break in 11 years, says he is feeling much better and thanks viewers for their kind messages. — 00:00:00
    • The description asks viewers to register for the Esther Day Party this evening. — video description
    • John recounts that in 2010 the community created a holiday on the birthday of nerdfighter Esther Earl, who was dying of cancer and was asked what holiday she wanted. — 00:00:20
    • Esther wanted a holiday celebrating love, especially the non-romantic kinds often left out of our conversations about love. — 00:00:29
    • John hopes viewers who have a moment today will tell someone that they love them, in Esther's honor. — 00:00:40
    • John tells Hank he loves him, noting they have traditionally said it only on Esther Day for fear of being too cloying or sentimental. — 00:00:45
    • John desperately wishes Esther were here; she would be 30 years old, a grown-up. — 00:02:03
    • John is proud of Esther's now grown-up Nerdfighter friends and of all the people who let the brothers be part of their growing up. — 00:02:10
    • Esther's friends and family will celebrate her and Esther Day tonight, Eastern Time; John, Wheezy Waiter and Flula will be there, with a link in the doobly-doo. — 00:02:26
    • The celebration will also discuss This Star Won't Go Out, the charity Esther's family founded in her memory, which financially supports kids with cancer and their families. — 00:02:45
    • This month (August 2024) reminded John of the importance of community; he is grateful Nerdfighteria could be an important community for Esther and for so many people. — 00:02:55
    • John would like to take credit, but Nerdfighteria is constantly made up by the people who are and have been part of it, like Esther. — 00:03:17
  • …and 1 statement more in 2024 — all statements of 2024

2025

  • 2025-08-03 · Why I Actually Love My Brother — Hank says saying 'I love you' to his brother is not physically difficult but not natural: even after all these years of Esther Days, the words feel like they belong somewhere else. — 00:00:00
    • Hank explains Esther Day: on her birthday, an annual celebration of Esther Earl's life, which she asked to be a celebration not of romantic love but of platonic love. — 00:03:03
    • Hank invites viewers to the 15th annual Esther Day celebration, a virtual party starting at 3 p.m. Eastern, 1 p.m. Mountain, where folks celebrate love, friendship and community; the link is in the description. — 00:03:14

2026

  • 2026-02-14 · Project for Awesome 2026 part 3! — John says Esther Earl, part of the group Catitude, was in some ways a co-founder of the Project for Awesome, and that its current director, Lindsay Ballantyne, was also in Catitude. — 00:37:32
    • John dedicated The Fault in Our Stars to Esther Earl, a Nerdfighter who lived with cancer and in whose memory This Star Won't Go Out was founded; she and her family were and are good friends. — 00:38:42
    • John says Esther Earl's family runs This Star Won't Go Out, which gives families of sick children the financial support they lacked: for bills, hospital travel and time off work. — 00:39:08
  • 2026-07-07 · On the Death of the Author — John: In The Fault in Our Stars John invented Peter Van Houten, an author who meets a dying young reader, knowing readers knew the book was partly inspired by his meeting Esther Earl. — 00:04:25
  • 2026-08-03 · Esther Day 2026: Some Thoughts on Loss — John explains that since 2010 the community has marked Esther Day each August 3rd in memory of nerdfighter Esther Earl, who wished for a day to tell friends and family 'I love you'. — 00:00:00
    • John finds this year (2026) especially strange: Esther has been gone almost 16 years, as long as she lived, and much of his life has passed without her. — 00:00:00
    • The description says that at tonight's free Esther Day Virtual Party, celebrating love, friendship and community, John joins Sarah Urist Green for a special Esther Day Dear Hank & John. — video description
    • Nor can John reconcile himself to the deaths of Esther, Amy, or the kids he met in the hospital over half his life ago. — 00:02:13
    • John holds, as one of his grounds of being, that love is stronger than death: the love Amy, Esther and others poured into the world is still with it. — 00:03:15
    • John hopes viewers will overcome the awkwardness of saying 'I love you' and let people in their lives know they love them. — 00:04:08
    • John hopes viewers will join him, Sarah and lots of others today for an Esther Day party hosted by Esther's family, with more info in the description. — 00:04:08