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Rough Week

2023-05-23 · letter vlog · John · 3:57 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Projects) · mode: Personal essay · tags: heavy topic, community lore

As Hank starts chemo, John lists the funny sides of his cancer (the pelican tweet, the new-thing website resetting for chemotherapy) and argues such humor works only when it feels like love rather than judgment, since grief and humor must live together; he offers a prayer and, as temporary CEO of DFTBA and Complexly, thanks staff and community.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — A rough week: love for Hank as he starts chemo, and the brothers laughing on the phone

  • ★★★ After a rough week and couple of months, John tells Hank, who is starting chemo, that he loves him and that many people are in his corner. — 00:00:00 · Hank Green, chemotherapy
  • ★★ The brothers laughed so much on the phone that Sarah asked what was so funny; Hank's lymphoma is not hilarious, but it has funny aspects. — 00:00:12 · Sarah Urist Green
  • ★★ John found it funny that Hank tweeted he was getting chemo and asked for pelican pictures, then minutes later apologized in case that was how people found out. (playful) — 00:00:24 · Twitter, chemotherapy

00:00:29 — The funny sides: the pelican tweet, the All Star Tumblr post, the new-thing website, YouTube's confetti; where John has seen this before

  • ★★ John enjoyed a Tumblr post wondering which line of All Star Hank would have used as a title had this happened in the Vlogbrothers All Star era; John guesses Hank would pick an abstract one. (playful) — 00:00:29 · Tumblr, Vlogbrothers
  • ★★ With Hank's enthusiastic encouragement, the website counting days since Hank started a new thing reset to zero, the new thing being not a channel or soap company but chemotherapy. (playful) — 00:00:43 · Days Since Hank Green Last Started a New Thing, chemotherapy
  • ★★ Less intentionally funny: the brothers' YouTube account effectively said sorry about the cancer but congratulations on the views, with confetti. (playful) — 00:00:58 · YouTube, cancer
  • ★★ John has seen illness and humor coexist many times: as a chaplain, as a child, and during his own serious health problems. — 00:01:08
  • ★★ John says their dad had cancer twice when the brothers were little. — 00:01:08 · Mike Green, cancer
  • ★★★ John says serious illness is awful and terrifying and not usually funny, but it sometimes is when the laughs come from love and understanding. — 00:01:17

00:01:27 — When humor works: love not judgment, context, Chris's itises line, grief and humor living together, accompaniment

  • ★★ John did not find it funny when someone described Hank as some kind of YouTuber but with cancer: it tries to be clever, but ick. — 00:01:27 · Hank Green, YouTube

  • ★★★ For humor to work it has to feel like love rather than judgment, inclusion rather than stigma, celebration rather than dismissal, which is a tough balance. — 00:01:37

    “the humor has to feel like love rather than judgment, like inclusion rather than stigma”

  • ★★ Well-intentioned people, John included, sometimes get it wrong, and it depends on who is saying it and the context. — 00:01:44

  • ★★ When John was hospitalized with meningitis, his best friend Chris greeted him by saying he thought John had already had all the itises; hilarious from Chris, less so from a doctor. — 00:01:50
  • ★★★ John does not understand how grief, fear and uncertainty live alongside humor, but knows they must, because life in all its complexity and paradox is still life. — 00:02:00
  • ★★ John says Partners In Health talks a lot about accompaniment: walking someone's path with them so they don't feel alone, always listening and helping when you can. — 00:02:14 · Partners In Health

00:02:26 — Accompaniment as key to a good life, and John's prayer for Hank and all of us

  • ★★★ For PIH accompaniment is key to good health care; John thinks for all of us it is key to a good life. — 00:02:26 · Partners In Health

  • ★★★ Since Hank said he was fine with prayers, John prays for him and for all of us that we be justified in our hope and unalone in our sorrow. — 00:02:34 · Hank Green, hope

    “I pray that we may be justified in our hope and unalone in our sorrow.”

00:02:55 — John as temporary CEO of DFTBA and Complexly; thanks to over 100 employees and to the community

00:03:51 — Sign-off: whether or not Hank posts on Friday

  • ★ John tells Hank he will see him soon, whether or not he sees him on Friday. (unsure) — 00:03:51 · Hank Green

In the description and comments

  • ★ In a comment John says the brothers' no-phone-calls rule was only in 2007; they have long been back to phone calls. — creator comment

Humor (significant)

  • Hank tweets that he is getting chemo and asks for pelican pictures, then follows up minutes later. — 00:00:29

    “I'm sorry if this is how you found out.”

  • The website counting days since Hank started a new thing resets to zero, the new thing being not a channel or a soap company. — 00:00:58

    “or a soap company, but chemotherapy.”

  • Visiting John in hospital with meningitis, his best friend Chris has a first remark ready. — 00:01:56

    “I thought you'd already had all of the itises”

  • John introduces himself as the temporary CEO who replaces Hank at DFTBA and Complexly. — 00:02:55

    “Kirkland brand Hank Green”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: accompaniment · cancer · humour

Also: People: Chris Waters · Mike Green · Sarah Urist Green

Projects: Awesome Coffee Club · Awesome Socks Club · Complexly · Crash Course · DFTBA Records · SciShow

Works: All Star · Days Since Hank Green Last Started a New Thing

Organizations: Partners In Health · Tumblr · Twitter · YouTube

Concepts: chemotherapy · grief · hope · lymphoma · meningitis · pelican

Places: Missoula, Montana · Sierra Leone

Products: Kirkland Signature

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