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Why Do I Still Make YouTube Videos?

2024-11-05 · letter vlog · John · 5:45 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Internet & YouTube (also: Projects, Nerdfighteria) · mode: Personal essay · tags: self promotion, civic or action cta

Prompted by Hank's extra Sunday video, John asks why he still makes YouTube videos after almost 20 years: not for money (he has enough) or likes and fame (which distort the self), but out of a good web of obligation to Complexly, Good Store and their charity work, and above all out of love for Nerdfighteria.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Election-day vote ask; Hank's extra Sunday video makes John wonder why he still makes YouTube videos

  • ★★ On US election day, John asks viewers to vote if they can; he already did. — 00:00:00 · United States presidential election
  • ★ John teases that Hank's extra Sunday video is like trying to get extra credit in Vlogbrothers class when he already has an A. (playful) — 00:00:00 · Vlogbrothers
  • ★★★ Hank's video made John wonder why he still makes YouTube videos after almost 20 years, when most colleagues have moved on, and whether that is longevity or creative stasis. — 00:00:00 · Vlogbrothers, YouTube

00:00:29 — Not for the money (he has enough) and not for the likes: the costs of attention and fame

  • ★★ John isn't doing it for the money: he makes about $25,000 a year helping with Crash Course, which gets him health insurance, and otherwise hasn't been paid for YouTube in years. — 00:00:29 · Crash Course, YouTube
  • ★★★ John says he has enough money, and once you have enough there is no reason to have more; Smaug sitting on his gold in The Hobbit is not the good guy. — 00:00:58
  • ★★★ John says attention and the pleasure of being liked by strangers was a huge motivator for him; he wants to be liked far more than he wants money. — 00:00:58
  • ★★★ John says the more people like you, the more dislike you; you fixate on them, see yourself through them, and your happiness comes to depend on those least inclined to like you. (hedged) — 00:01:27
  • ★★★ John says strangers know only the idea of him he puts forward, perfectly edited though a four-minute video takes forty to record; the growing gap between public and private self gets weirder. — 00:01:56 · celebrity

  • ★★ John cites John Updike calling celebrity a mask that eats the face, and finds that true even of his minimal encounters with celebrity. — 00:02:26 · celebrity

    “celebrity a mask that eats the face”

  • ★★★ John craved fame when younger and is grateful for parts of it, but at 47 he does not want to be famous, especially not more famous: near the top there is not much oxygen. — 00:02:55 · celebrity

00:03:24 — Videos are not a need like novels; a good web of obligation to Complexly, Good Store and the work in Sierra Leone and Lesotho, with a Good Store plug

  • ★★★ John enjoys writing and editing videos but doesn't need to make them, unlike novels: he would write stories even if no one read them, an imperative part of being alive. — 00:03:24
  • ★★★ John thinks he goes on partly out of obligation, which should not have a negative connotation: being part of a mutually obligated web of humanity is good news. — 00:03:24
  • ★★ John plugs Good Store for holiday gifts (soap, socks, undies, coffee, tea, gift bundles), noting 100% of profit goes to charity, and jokes he feels obligated to say so. — 00:03:53 · Good Store
  • ★★ John feels obligated to the people who work at Complexly and Good Store and to the work in Sierra Leone and Lesotho, and thinks they feel obligated to him, which is good. — 00:04:23 · Complexly, Good Store, Sierra Leone
  • ★★★ John says Crash Course has helped educate hundreds of millions of people and Good Store has donated over $8 million to support stronger healthcare systems. — 00:04:23 · Crash Course, Good Store

00:04:52 — He goes on mostly for love of Nerdfighteria, what the videos make; things end, but not yet; sign-off

  • ★★★ John goes on mostly from obligation to and love of Nerdfighteria: he enjoys less making videos than what they make, Nerdfighteria, from TB activism to Pizzamas memes to marriages. — 00:04:52 · Nerdfighteria, tuberculosis, Pizzamas

    “I don't so much enjoy making videos as I greatly enjoy what the videos make”

  • ★★ John knows Nerdfighteria would be weaker if he stopped making videos, and that is his priority: contributing to the community without too much stress. — 00:04:52 · Nerdfighteria

  • ★★ John knows he won't always make YouTube videos, since things end and should, but for now he makes them because he loves Nerdfighteria and talking to Hank once a week. — 00:05:21 · Nerdfighteria, YouTube
  • ★ John jokes that it's once a week, not twice: twice a week is what Hank's channel is for. (playful) — 00:05:21 · hankschannel

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: celebrity · YouTube

Also: People: John Updike

Projects: Complexly · Crash Course · Good Store · hankschannel · Pizzamas

Works: The Hobbit

Concepts: health insurance · tuberculosis

Places: Lesotho · Sierra Leone

Events: United States presidential election

Characters: Smaug

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