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Pretend You Don't Know This

2026-09-29 · letter vlog · Hank · 4:56 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Nerdfighteria) · mode: Personal essay · tags: calendar ritual, community lore, self promotion

Hank notes that love languages exist for romance but nothing similar for friendship, and argues that committing to a shared bit, like John's reply to his sneezes or Pizzamas itself, is a way friends honour each other; he then asks viewers to switch the video to its Klingon audio track.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; Hank promises to explain the guy on screen at the end

00:00:10 — Love languages have no friendship equivalent; committing to the bit (sneeze reply, Pizzamas) as a way friends honour each other

  • ★★ Hank explains love languages: basically five ways people feel loved by a romantic partner (acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts). — 00:00:20
  • ★ Hank says that when partners' love languages don't line up, especially if they don't understand how the other feels loved, it can cause real problems. — 00:00:29
  • ★★ Hank has no idea how academically rigorous love languages are, but thinks the idea has some utility and has spread fairly well through society. — 00:00:40
  • ★★★ Hank says there is nothing like love languages for friendship in the culture: we talk about being a good friend, not about it meaning different things to different people. (hedged) — 00:00:50
  • ★★★ Hank says he and John are very good friends without perfect overlap, but one way both feel loved, connected and honoured as friends is bit commitment. — 00:01:10 · John Green, commit to the bit
  • ★★ As an example of bit commitment, a way he and John honour their friendship, Hank says every time he sneezes in front of John, John says 'Oh God, what was that?' (playful) — 00:01:20 · John Green, commit to the bit
  • ★ Hank mentions a bet the brothers made nearly ten years ago, about to come due, that they talk about all the time. — 00:01:27 · John Green
  • ★★ Hank recalls they decided to upload a video every weekday of 2007 and relive that for two weeks every year in Pizzamas, not near Christmas and loosely based on pizza. — 00:01:30 · Brotherhood 2.0, YouTube, Pizzamas
  • ★★ Hank says Pizzamas rests on a Nerdfighteria bit about John having a mustache for 20 minutes in 2008, and in 2026 they are still doing it. (playful) — 00:01:45 · Pizzamas, Nerdfighteria, John Green
    • a number in question (slip of the tongue): "2008" — check against the recording (2009)
  • ★★ Hank says bit commitment might fit the love languages as acts of service or quality time, but not really; he is not sure what it is. (hedged) — 00:01:56 · commit to the bit
  • ★★★ Hank says committing to a bit is honouring an external construction the friends share that is neither of them. — 00:02:05 · commit to the bit, social construction
  • ★★ Hank says the bit maybe takes up the space of religion, but he likes that, unlike a spiritual path, it isn't intrinsically important. (hedged) — 00:02:10 · commit to the bit
  • ★★ Hank says the bit would vanish without people practising it: its existence rests solely on the brothers' shoulders and exists only in those committed to it. — 00:02:30 · commit to the bit
  • ★★★ Hank says committing to the bit honours a friend by focusing on the thing that matters to both; the bit doesn't matter, it only matters because they matter. — 00:02:40 · commit to the bit, social construction
  • ★★ Hank worries labelling it may do harm: committing to the bit should not be a friendship strategy but done for its own sake, out of commitment to the people involved. — 00:02:58 · commit to the bit
  • ★★★ Hank says there is so much power in committing to keeping something alive with a person, even more so when the thing is inconsequential. — 00:03:15 · commit to the bit
  • ★★ Hank contrasts raising a child, which is about the child because the child matters, with saying 'Oh God, what was that?' instead of 'bless you', which honours what exists between them. — 00:03:24 · commit to the bit
  • ★★★ Hank's advice: friendships are super important; committing to a bit is not a strategy but happens with certain friends, so if you find people to do it with, do it. — 00:03:36 · commit to the bit

00:03:52 — The Klingon audio track and unlisted version: Hank's extra Pizzamas video; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank asks viewers to select the video's Klingon audio track under the gear icon and restart the video to hear the guy on screen; an unlisted version is linked in the description. — 00:03:58
  • ★★ Hank says he basically made an extra Pizzamas video this Pizzamas, though he already has to make a bunch of them. (playful) — 00:04:21 · Pizzamas

00:04:50 — Music outro

In the description and comments

  • ★★ The description says Pizzamas is on for only two more weeks, both the videos and the merch at pizzamas.com. — video description · Pizzamas

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: commit to the bit · friendship · love languages

Also: Projects: Brotherhood 2.0 · Pizzamas

Organizations: YouTube

Concepts: Klingon language · moustache · parenting · religion · romantic love · social construction

Only in the description or credits: Beautiful Mind · Brian David Gilbert · Tom Cardy

Also centred on commit to the bit: COMMIT TO THE BIT · The Point of Life

Also centred on friendship: How to Make Friends · How Do Adults Make Friends? · How I Made Friends · So, I've got cancer · Views · My 2025 Bingo Card

Later videos replying to this one

  • 2026-09-30 · The Point of Life (John) — continues — “Hank, your video yesterday reminded me of my deep love of bit commitment.” (00:00:40)

Part of an exchange of 4 videos, 2026-09-29 – 2026-10-02.