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How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday

2013-01-22 · Q&A · John · 2:54 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Nerdfighteria (also: Everyday life, Books & writing, Personal life, Projects) · mode: Q&A & conversation · tags: recurring series, self promotion, community lore

John's Question Tuesday: a song about his Tumblr quip, play food, Esther and TFIOS, and a main answer arguing that 'more than friends' wrongly ranks face-licking above friendship - say what you mean; closing thanks for Carnegie Hall.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting (whiteboard drawn by 'Daddy'); story: John wakes up singing the song Dutch friends Lotte and Lidewij wrote about his 'homoerotic Who-lock watercolors' description of Tumblr; Henry's play fried chicken

  • ★★ John recalls once describing Tumblr as mostly homoerotic Wholock watercolors; Dutch friends Lotte and Lidewij wrote him a song about it, which he woke up singing, puzzling Henry's babysitter. (playful) — 00:00:08 · Tumblr, Henry Green, Wholock
  • ★ John finds what looks like fried chicken in the morning; it turns out to be play chicken. 'It's so weird having a toddler.' (playful) — 00:00:33

00:00:41 — Question Tuesday quickfire at the office: favorite part of the Evening of Awesome, Esther and TFIOS, heart broken by pizza

  • ★★ Asked his favorite part of the Evening of Awesome, John answers: all of it. (playful) — 00:00:47
  • ★★★ Asked what he would most like to tell Esther about, John says he wishes she could have read The Fault in Our Stars and often wonders whether she would have liked it. — 00:00:50 · Esther Earl, The Fault in Our Stars

00:01:01 — 'Just friends' or 'more than friends'? John objects to the phrase: the Yeti and he share responsibilities; he and Shannon are not 'just' anything; say what you mean

  • ★★★ Asked how to tell whether someone wants to be 'just friends' or 'more than friends', John says use your words, and questions why language makes face-licking the step past friendship. (playful) — 00:01:01
  • ★★★ John says he and the Yeti are 'more than friends' mainly because they share responsibility for important things - a car, a mortgage and a human child - not because of face-licking. — 00:01:14 · Sarah Urist Green, Henry Green

  • ★★★ John says he and his friend Shannon, who lived together for more than five years in their twenties, are not 'just friends' because they never made out; they shared each other's worst and best days. — 00:01:25

    “We're not "just friends," we're not "just" anything.”

  • ★★ John advises saying what you mean instead of 'more than friends' - e.g. 'monogamous face-licking partners' - while granting that not all romantic relationships involve making out. (playful) — 00:01:38

00:01:48 — More questions: why his Tumblr is called Fishing Boat Proceeds, writer's block, Romeo and Holden Caulfield (see Crash Course), the TFIOS movie script, tips for a scared parent-to-be

  • ★ Asked why his Tumblr is called Fishing Boat Proceeds, John says since 2007 he has hoped for fishing boat proceeds so he can tick a special box on his tax return; it hasn't happened yet. (playful) — 00:01:48 · fishing boat proceeds, Tumblr
  • ★ Asked whether he fears running out of book ideas or crippling writer's block, John says yes, and thanks the asker for mentioning it. (playful) — 00:02:00
  • ★★ Answering questions on Romeo ('if he were named Paris he wouldn't be nearly so hot') and Holden Caulfield, John points to Crash Course episodes and tells viewers they should subscribe. (playful) — 00:02:07 · Crash Course
  • ★★ Asked about the TFIOS movie, John says he loves the script but doesn't think he is allowed to say anything else. — 00:02:19 · The Fault in Our Stars (film)
  • ★★ Asked for tips for a scared parent-to-be, John says everyone feels unqualified at first, but you only have to trick the baby into thinking you're qualified; babies are easy to trick. (playful) — 00:02:24

00:02:41 — Thanks to Nerdfighters for the Carnegie Hall show, the highlight of his professional career; thanks Hank; sign-off

  • ★★★ John thanks Nerdfighters who were at Carnegie Hall or watched An Evening of Awesome at home: it was the highlight of his professional career; he thanks Hank for making it fun and surprisingly relaxing. — 00:02:41 · Nerdfighteria, Hank Green

Humor (significant)

  • John has to do Question Tuesday from the office, which means the quality of this video is about to... — 00:00:41

    “improve significantly.”

  • Instead of asking someone to be 'more than friends', John says you should say what you mean. — 00:01:38

    “Do you want to be monogamous face licking partners?”

  • Tip for a scared parent-to-be: you only have to trick the baby into thinking you're qualified. — 00:02:27

    “In some cases, they were literally born yesterday.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

People: Esther Earl · Henry Green · Lidewij · Lotte · Sarah Urist Green · Shannon

Projects: An Evening of Awesome · Crash Course

Works: Doctor Who (“Who-lock”) · Romeo and Juliet · Sherlock (“Who-lock”) · The Fault in Our Stars · The Fault in Our Stars (film)

Organizations: Tumblr

Rituals: Question Tuesday

Terms: fishing boat proceeds

Places: Carnegie Hall

Characters: Count Paris · Holden Caulfield · Romeo Montague

Later videos replying to this one