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What Boys Look For in Girls

2014-04-11 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:55 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: History & curiosities) · mode: Personal essay

Hank argues that attraction standards vary arbitrarily across cultures, so nobody, and especially young women told their worth lies in pleasing men, should base self-worth on being attractive: you exist for your own sake.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Everyone is insecure, but young women are told to base self-worth on men's admiration; the YouTube genre of 'what boys like' videos

  • ★★★ Hank says everyone deals with insecurity, but many young women on YouTube have been told all their lives to base their self-worth on whether men admire them. (hedged) — 00:00:09 · YouTube
  • ★★ Hank notes a whole YouTube genre tells women what men like to see in them; since those videos do well, he jokingly joins the bandwagon. (playful) — 00:00:17 · YouTube

00:00:34 — Mock 'what boys look for' list: beauty practices across cultures and eras, and men's tight pants in England

  • ★★ Hank lists beauty practices: Karo women in Ethiopia scar their bellies, Kayan women in Thailand wear brass neck rings, Mursi women wear lip plates, Japanese women unstraighten teeth, an Indonesian tribe files teeth. — 00:00:34
  • ★★ Hank says 19th-century European women squeezed their waists, Mauritanian girls are sent to fat camps to eat 10,000 calories a day because stretch marks are sexy there, and American women paint faces and shave. — 00:01:00 · Europe, United States
  • ★ Hank says cultures also differ in beauty standards for men, joking that in England men wear really tight pants. (playful) — 00:01:19 · England

00:01:28 — Main point: little objectivity in mate selection, so attractiveness is a terrible basis for self-worth

  • ★★★ Hank's main point: there is very little objectivity in human mate selection; humans are crazy and make no sense. — 00:01:28
  • ★★★ Hank says that since whether someone wants to date you is basically random, it is a terrible thing to base your self-worth on, whatever your gender. (hedged) — 00:01:42
  • ★★ Hank thinks basing self-worth on attractiveness is more of a problem for women. (hedged) — 00:01:51

00:01:54 — A Tumblr post on boys not needing makeup reveals a culture that values women significantly for beauty

  • ★★ Hank says a Tumblr post asking how boys look hot without makeup made him notice culture, which surrounds us unnoticed like the water we swim in. — 00:01:54 · Tumblr
  • ★★★ Hank says boys without makeup don't look better than girls without makeup, but our culture holds women's value to rest significantly on beauty and their purpose on attracting men, which is messed up. (hedged) — 00:02:17

00:02:38 — Self-expression through appearance is fine, but you are more than your looks and exist for your own sake; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank says expressing yourself through appearance, makeup and fashion is fine, no one should rag on you for it, and wanting to be appreciated for your looks is fine too. — 00:02:38

  • ★★★ Hank says there is much more to you and to life than looks: girls are not the photons that hit boys' corneas; regardless of gender, you exist for your own sake, not to please others. — 00:03:01

    “Girls are not the photons that hit the corneas of boys.”

00:03:22 — Outro music: a song (unidentified)

In the description and comments

  • ★ In the description Hank adds that the video is not meant as relationship advice. — video description
  • ★★ Hank writes that what people are "looking for" doesn't necessarily match what they actually want or need, and that the "love at first sight" moment, though one of the most exciting, is about the least interesting moment of a relationship. — video description
  • ★★ Hank says the song at the end of the video is "Marilyn Hanson", which will be on his new album, coming out in less than a month. — video description

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: feminine beauty ideal · mate choice · self-esteem

Also: Organizations: Tumblr · YouTube

Groups: Karo people · Kayan people (Myanmar) · Mursi people

Places: England · Ethiopia · Europe · Indonesia · Japan · Mauritania · Thailand · United States

Only in the description or credits: Hank Green and the Perfect Strangers' album (untitled here) · Marilyn Hanson

Also centred on self-esteem: You're Not Good Enough · Some Rough Advice for the "Real World" · My Earthquake Story - (And Thoughts About Numbers) · Looking for Alaska Movie (BUT BETTER) and YouTuber Things · What Matters · What Helped Through Depression

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