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Viewer questions, 2011

117 viewer questions, requests and challenges answered in 25 videos uploaded in 2011, grouped by topic (the domain of the part of the video the answer is in), in upload order within a topic. Each question is followed by the answer as summarised, with the speaker and timestamp. Question Tuesday marks the Q&A series. Back to the overview.

Topics: Nerdfighteria (57) · Books & writing (29) · Projects (8) · Science & nature (6) · Global development (4) · Everyday life (3) · Philosophy & meaning (3) · Personal life (2) · World affairs (2) · Internet & YouTube (1) · Pop culture (1) · US politics & society (1)

Nerdfighteria

  • Q: “What's your take on the Oxford comma?” (00:00:10) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked his take on the Oxford comma, John answers with a list using it: lovely, unintrusive and absolutely necessary. (00:00:10)
  • Q: “Who the F is Hank?” (00:00:21) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): To 'Who the F is Hank?' John answers that Hank is a city of just over 3,000 people in southern South Dakota known for its pheasant season. (00:00:21)
  • Q: “Other than heights, what are you afraid of?” (00:00:29) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Other than heights, John says he is afraid of geese, mice and oblivion. (00:00:29)
  • Q: “What did you and Hank fight about when you were kids?” (00:00:34) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: As kids the brothers mainly fought over John rewriting game rules mid-game to ensure his victory, which he saw as an older brother's privilege and responsibility; Hank was 'kind of a wuss' about it. (00:00:34)
  • Q: “How can I find other Nerdfighters at my school?” (00:00:59) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: To find other Nerdfighters at school, John recommends getting or making a DFTBA shirt; DFTBA means Don't Forget To Be Awesome. (00:00:59)
  • Q: “What would you name your puppy sized elephant?” (00:01:08) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John would name his puppy-sized elephant Lewis, and they would be best friends. (00:01:08)
  • Q [challenge]: “Your headdesk was lame.” (00:02:07) — CONCUSSED Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Told his headdesk was lame, John tries a better one, 'excessively headdesks', and performs the rest of the video as if concussed, forgetting answers, his middle name and the day. (00:02:07)
  • Q: “Which part of Will Grayson, Will Grayson did you write?” (00:00:49) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: In Will Grayson, Will Grayson John wrote uppercase Will, a.k.a. 'straight Will' or 'Schrödinger's Will'. (00:00:49)
  • Q: “Who the eff is Hank?” (00:00:59) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked who Hank is, John describes Batman: a DC comic-book superhero first appearing in 1939, also known as the Caped Crusader. (00:00:59)
  • Q: “Where should I invest a small amount of money?” (00:01:08) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: For investing a small amount of money John recommends a broad index fund like the Wilshire 5000. (00:01:08)
  • Q: “If you could live in any period of history, which would it be?” (00:01:13) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: Of all periods of history John would live in this one; Rome was fantastic, but a nerd with four days can recreate it in Minecraft. (00:01:13)
  • Q: “What are those blue creatures behind you?” (00:01:27) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: The blue creatures behind John were sewn for him by a nerdfighter, possibly as a present for Henry, but he took them. (00:01:27)
  • Q: “Peeta or Gale?” (00:01:43) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: Peeta or Gale? John is 'with the bakers', i.e. Peeta. (00:01:43)
  • Q: “Do you use hair product?” (00:01:46) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): John uses no hair product: 'the puff needs hair product like Hank needs caffeine'. (00:01:46)
  • Q: “What's your overall stance on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?” (00:01:51) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's overall stance on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict: both sides need to recognize the legitimacy of the other's narrative. (00:01:51)
  • Q: “When you and Hank play clue, who is Mr. Green?” (00:02:25) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: In the original British Cluedo, Mr. Green is Reverend Green, renamed for America because that was felt to be sacrilege; John usually plays Colonel Mustard. (00:02:25)
  • Q: “What's your bracelet?” (00:02:49) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: John wears an Esther bracelet and tells viewers to get one, since they make the world suck less; link in the description. (00:02:49)
  • Q: “Why was Henry crying at the end of your last video?” (00:02:55) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked why Henry cried at the end of his last video, John says babies have only two thoughts, 'I am ecstatically happy' and 'this could be better', and one strategy: crying. (00:02:55)
  • Q: “Why is a bubble round?” (00:03:13) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: Bubbles are round because they are minimal-surface structures and spheres have minimal surface. (00:03:13)
  • Q: “How's your Warner Chilcott stock doing?” (00:03:17) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: John is down $32 on his Warner Chilcott stock and tells the company to do a better job of 'Warner Chilcott-ing' sick people so he gets his money back. (00:03:17)
  • Q [challenge]: “So I just watched a video by Nerdfighter suchducks in which she claims that we don't make as many inside jokes as we used to.” — asked by suchducks (00:00:02) — NERDFIGHTERS UNITE! (in your pants)
    • John: Because Nerdfighter suchducks claimed in a video that they make fewer inside jokes than they used to, John reveals the Pizza John mustache for the second time. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “I wonder if you've thought about what you want your last words to be before you die.” (00:00:21) — DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether reading Looking for Alaska made him think about his own last words, John says not at all, paraphrasing John Barrymore: dying is the last thing he would ever do. (00:00:25)
  • Q: “Did you have any nicknames as a teenager?” (00:00:30) — DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says that as a teenager friends nicknamed him 'Kuffs' after he said Christian Slater never made a bad movie. (00:00:31)
  • Q: “Dandy lions or dandelions?” (00:00:37) — DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked 'dandy lions or dandelions?', John picks dandy lions, which eat you if you wish on them, and calls 'The Dandy Lions' a really good band name; the title bit. (00:00:40)
  • Q: “It's tax time again. Any fishing boat proceeds this year?” (00:00:47) — DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked at tax time about fishing boat proceeds, John jokes that the stupid fishing boats always refuse to give him proceeds. (00:00:47)
  • Q: “Hey, is your phone number secretly inserted into 'Looking for Alaska'?” (00:02:14) — DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day · Question Tuesday
    • John: John confirms his then phone number is in Looking for Alaska: he didn't think more than about nine people would read it; he apologizes to its current owner. (00:02:17)
  • Q [request]: “I love when at realjohngreen brandishes random things like black Santas in his videos.” (00:00:40) — Participatory Geometry
    • John: Quoting a tweet that loves when he brandishes random things like black Santas in his videos, John brandishes. (00:00:40)
  • Q [request]: “Can you please help me track down my Nerdfighter crush?” (00:02:40) — Tales of Nerd Love!
    • John: In story four, a Nerdfighter met a cute Nerdfighter boy at the Bel Air, Maryland Barnes and Noble without swapping contacts; John asks the 5'7" boy with brown hair and blue eyes to get in touch. (00:02:29)
  • Q: “Is it cougish if a seventeen year old girl goes out with a fifteen year old guy?” (00:00:10) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether a 17-year-old girl dating a 15-year-old boy is 'cougish', John says it strikes him as completely normal, and asks why 'cougish' is a thing when 'French the llama' is not. (00:00:10)
  • Q: “Can you speak Dutch?” (00:00:23) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John cannot speak Dutch: when he tries to get through a whole interaction only in Dutch, the person says they don't understand and asks if he wants a beer. (00:00:23)
  • Q: “Why didn't you show the "Good morning Hank it's Wednesday" from Plainfield, Indiana?” (00:00:37) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John did not show his 'Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday' from Plainfield, Indiana because something is wrong with his phone and he cannot get videos onto his computer. (00:00:37)
  • Q: “Why haven't you done Peanut Butter Face in a long time?” (00:01:05) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked why he hasn't done Peanut Butter Face in a long time, John disputes the premise and then does Peanut Butter Face. (00:01:05)
  • Q: “What were some of the original titles of your books?” (00:01:20) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the original titles of his books were always pretentious, such as 'More Light Than Heat' or 'An Imperial Affliction'. (00:01:20)
  • Q: “Can you explain the 'in your pants' thing?” (00:01:31) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John explains the 'in your pants' rule: their friend Maureen Johnson discovered that book titles are funnier with 'in your pants' added, and gives examples. (00:01:31)
  • Q: “If Henry had been a girl, what would you have named her?” (00:01:45) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John and the Yeti agreed in advance that a boy would be named Henry and a girl 'Bubbles the Nerdfighting Lady Baby'. (00:01:47)
  • Q: “Are we ever gonna find out the lie from the April Fools video?” (00:01:54) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John reveals that the lie in his April Fools video was that there was no lie. (00:01:57)
  • Q: “Has Helen Hunt heard the Helen Hunt song yet?” (00:02:01) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Helen Hunt has not yet heard Hank's Helen Hunt song, John says, pointing out that Helen Hunt has a Twitter. (00:02:01)
  • Q: “What are the marks on your arm?” (00:02:33) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: The marks on John's arm are birthmarks, which he says are there for life. (00:02:33)
  • Q: “Where is Willy? Is he there with you in Amsterdam?” (00:02:46) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Willy is not in Amsterdam; he is staying with the Yeti's aunt and uncle, whom John says Willy likes far better than him. (00:02:46)
  • Q: “What is Willy's middle name?” (00:03:00) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John gives Willy's full name as, technically, Wilson Bubbles the Nerdfighting Puppy Roberts. (00:03:00)
  • Q: “What are we doing for Hanko de Mayo?” (00:03:05) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked about Hanko de Mayo plans, John points viewers to the link in the doobly-doo and forbids Hank to click it, with a mock threat. (00:03:05)
  • Q: “Shouldn't you be writing your new book right now?” (00:03:19) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether he should be writing his new book right now, John says yes, he should. (00:03:19)
  • Q: “What's Hank's punishment?” (00:02:21) — Question Tuesday! Paula Deen Riding Me (and critical reading) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John sets Hank's punishment as the one most popular in Nerdfighteria, Humpy Hank All Over Town: Hank must hump the town. (00:02:23)
  • Q: “What was your biggest childhood argument?” (00:00:07) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • Hank: Asked about their biggest childhood argument, Hank thinks the problem was John lying: Hank got blamed because John was the better liar, and still is. (00:00:10)
  • Q: “How come you guys never come to Ireland or even mention it?” (00:00:21) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • John & Hank (joke): Asked why they never come to Ireland or mention it, the brothers mention it and declare the matter done. (00:00:21)
  • Q: “Would you rather have a unicorn or a Pegasus?” (00:00:26) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • Hank: Hank would rather have a pegasus than a unicorn: it has wings, while a unicorn is just a horse; John disagrees. (00:00:28)
  • Q: “Is it possible that The Giant Squid of Anger and the Sarlac from Star Wars share an evolutionary link?” (00:00:39) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • Hank: Hank says the giant squid of anger and the Star Wars sarlacc cannot share an evolutionary link, since genetic material cannot travel between galaxies. (00:00:44)
  • Q: “Do you guys go back and watch your old videos?” (00:02:17) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether they rewatch old videos, John says he really enjoys watching the old videos, especially Hank's, but is pretty hard on himself when he watches his own. (00:02:19)
  • Q [request]: “Describe your favourite paradox.” (00:02:02) — Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday. · Question Tuesday
    • John: John explains Zeno's paradox (to reach a door you must first go halfway, and halfway to that, so you must traverse infinity) and says it is very important to him. (00:02:02)
  • Q: “Do you have a tumblr?” (00:02:19) — Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday. · Question Tuesday
    • John: John gives his Tumblr address, fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com, with a link in the doobly-doo. (00:02:19)
  • Q [request]: “Can you do Question Tuesday with peanut butter face?” (00:02:23) — Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday. · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked to do Question Tuesday with peanut butter face, John does it briefly and says he is proud of his career as a man who puts peanut butter on his face. (00:02:23)
  • Q [request]: “I was sorted as a Hufflepuff in Pottermore. Can you console me?” (00:03:26) — Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday. · Question Tuesday
    • John: To a viewer sorted into Hufflepuff on Pottermore, John says he will congratulate rather than console them on joining the house of Helga Hufflepuff and Tonks. (00:03:26)
  • Q: “I used to love pizza, but I've grown to hate it. Is there something wrong with me?” (00:01:32) — Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS! · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked by a viewer who grew to hate pizza, John says he once stopped liking pizza because he had a diseased gallbladder and needed abdominal surgery, so yes, something is wrong. (00:01:32)
  • Q: “Hermayane asks, what is your opinion on the Oxford comma and the controversies surrounding it?” (00:01:32) — Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS! · Question Tuesday
    • John: On the Oxford comma, John values clarity in writing, but debating it reminds him life is a finite set of moments; brainpower spent on it would be better spent curing malaria. (00:01:32)
  • Q: “Claudette asks, are you really going to sign the entire first printing of The Fault in Our-” (00:02:01) — Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS! · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether he really will sign the entire first printing of The Fault in Our Stars, John answers 'Oh, yes!' (00:02:01)
  • Q [request]: “Help me find him?” (00:02:01) — Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS! · Question Tuesday
    • John: A viewer met a fellow Nerdfighter in archaeology class through her pizza shirt, but he has missed five weeks; John urges the unnamed boy to go to class. (00:02:01)
  • Q: “I already feel under pressure asked, will there be such a thing as a Hanklerfished and Yetified copy of The Fault in Our Stars?” (00:02:30) — Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS! · Question Tuesday
    • John: There will be exactly one Hanklerfished and Yetified copy of The Fault in Our Stars. (00:02:30)

Books & writing

Projects

  • Q [request]: “Can you restock the DFTBA shirts, please?” (00:02:22) — Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: At a viewer's request John restocks the DFTBA shirts: all of them are back in stock at dftba.com. (00:02:22)
  • Q: “When is Hank's first album coming out” (00:03:29) — Osama Bin Laden is Dead
    • Hank: Answering a much-liked question on John's last video about when his first album comes out, Hank says it came out years ago and shows his second album and its reprinted shirt. (00:03:23)
  • Q [request]: “When are you gonna get Pizza John shirts back in my size?” (00:01:52) — Question Tuesday! Paula Deen Riding Me (and critical reading) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Pizza John shirts are back in all sizes at DFTBA.com/pizza. (00:01:54)
  • Q: “Where is VidCon?” (00:01:31) — VidCon 2012!!!
    • Hank: Answering FAQs gathered on Twitter, Hank says VidCon is in Anaheim, across the street from Disneyland at the Anaheim Convention Center, with lots of cheap hotels. (00:01:31)
  • Q: “When is VidCon?” (00:01:31) — VidCon 2012!!!
    • Hank: The community days are Friday June 29 and Saturday June 30; the industry day is Thursday June 28. (00:01:31)
  • Q: “Will VidCon be livestreamed?” (00:03:04) — VidCon 2012!!!
    • Hank: Some of VidCon will be livestreamed - they are not sure about all of it - and the whole thing will be videotaped and put up afterwards. (00:03:04)
  • Q: “Will there be a VidCon UK, East Coast, Hawaii, India?” (00:03:04) — VidCon 2012!!!
    • Hank: Asked about VidCons elsewhere, Hank says they dream about a VidCon UK and a VidCon East Coast but haven't figured out how to do it yet. (00:03:04)
  • Q: “Will there be ball pits?” (00:03:24) — VidCon 2012!!!
    • Hank: The ball pits and Nerf guns are coming back to VidCon. (00:03:24)

Science & nature

  • Q [request]: “And then the nerdiest of the nerds in the comments were all” (00:00:03) — Top 5 Awesome Things About the Webb Telescope
    • Hank: In his last video Hank said he needed to make a video about the James Webb Space Telescope, commenters asked for it, so today he does. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Are there any words you still can't spell?” (00:00:04) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: John still struggles to spell 'occasionally', 'refrigerator', 'sacrilege' and 'queue', making this the spelling-bee nightmare edition of Question Friday. (00:00:04)
  • Q: “Did you see that NASA tweeted Hank's video?” (00:00:11) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: John did see that NASA tweeted Hank's video, and is glad Hank is less space-obsessed than at 16, when it might have made his brain explode. (00:00:11)
  • Q: “How can you see into the past?” (00:00:20) — QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition · Question Tuesday
    • John: Explaining how Hank's telescope sees the past: light takes time to travel, so something 13 billion light-years away is seen as it was 13 billion years ago; the Sun is about 8 light-minutes away. (00:00:20)
  • Q [request]: “And people have been asking me to make a video about the science of zombies” (00:00:09) — Superhero Creation Myths
    • Hank: Answering viewer requests, Hank says there is no science of zombies: no undead creature can exist, since life is a complex balance that fails if any part breaks down (homeostasis). (00:00:09)
  • Q: “They say, Hank, how do you feel about the end of manned exploration of space with the final launch of the Space Shuttle?” (00:00:00) — Hank Talks to NASA About the Space Shuttle
    • Hank: Asked how he feels about the end of crewed space exploration with the final shuttle launch, Hank compares it to Seinfeld ending: maybe the best program of its time. (00:00:00)

Global development

  • Q: “People who are asking about Project for Awesome” (00:03:07) — World's Stupidest Dog
    • Hank: Answering viewers, Hank confirms the Project for Awesome is happening December 17th and 18th and says its website should be up very soon. (00:03:07)
  • Q: “When does it start?” (00:00:00) — Project for Awesome Logistics
    • Hank: The official time to upload P4A videos is noon Eastern time tomorrow, Saturday, December 17th. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Can I donate to the project?” (00:00:00) — Project for Awesome Logistics
    • Hank: Hank encourages everyone to donate at projectforawesome.com, live from noon, or before then at fightworldsuck.org; all the money goes into the P4A Fund. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Are you doing something illicit?” (00:00:47) — Project for Awesome Logistics
    • Hank: No funny business: the P4A Fund money is distributed to the charities that get the most votes at projectforawesome.com. (00:00:47)

Everyday life

  • Q: “At LeakyCon, a young lady asked me how I dealt with bullying” (00:02:48) — I Am Not a P#$$Y - this video contains mild swear words.
    • Hank: Hank says that when he was bullied he dealt with it by crying and hating himself and his life: he survived it but never dealt with it. (00:03:18)
    • Hank: Hank's first tip to bullied people: it's not about you and has nothing to do with you; it's about the people doing it to you. (00:03:18)
    • Hank: Hank's second tip: your job is not to deal with bullying but to survive it, which you can do because it will end, and then it will get better. (00:03:50)
  • Q: “Favourite essay you have ever read?” (00:00:14) — Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday. · Question Tuesday
    • John: John names his favourite essay: F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Crack-Up. (00:00:14)
  • Q: “Why hasn't my boyfriend kissed me, even though we've been going for almost five months?” (00:00:17) — Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday. · Question Tuesday
    • John: John tells a young Twitter user whose boyfriend hasn't kissed her in almost five months of going out that kissing happens with you, not to you, so she should talk honestly with him. (00:00:27)

Philosophy & meaning

  • Q: “Nerdfighters often ask us if we're religious” (00:00:01) — On Religion
    • John: Nerdfighters often ask whether the brothers are religious; they have been reluctant to discuss it because the quality of internet discourse about religion is atrocious. (00:00:01)
  • Q: “But what really bugs me about the question "do you believe in God?” (00:01:31) — Do You Believe in God?
    • Hank: To those asking because they are unsure and see him as an authority, Hank says he is not one; it is a question each person must answer for themselves. (00:01:51)
  • Q: “What is the point of doing things in general?” (00:02:37) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • Hank: Restating a viewer's question, Hank says there is no reason to do things, no cosmic mandate to do stuff. (00:02:41)

Personal life

  • Q [request]: “you need to set your aperture settings to different ones so that you are less blurry when you move in and away from the camera” (00:00:17) — Hank is an Adorable, Drunk Princess
    • Hank: Hank says someone on his last video told him to change his aperture settings so he'd be less blurry; he tried but couldn't find the settings. (00:00:17)
  • Q [request]: “how much they don't want me to shave it” (00:00:22) — You CAN Judge a Book by its Cover!
    • Hank: Because of many comments saying people like his goatee and do not want him to shave it, Hank has kept it for now. (00:00:17)

World affairs

Internet & YouTube

Pop culture

  • Q: “Have you seen the new modernised version of Sherlock Holmes?” (00:01:46) — Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT! · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked about the modernised Sherlock Holmes, John gives the Cumberbatch version two thumbs up and the Downey Jr. version one thumb; Hank, who has seen both, agrees. (00:01:48)

US politics & society