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16 Sports that Should Be in the Olympics

2016-08-19 · list · Hank · 3:59 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Sports (also: Internet & YouTube) · mode: Curiosity & trivia · tags: timely hook, self promotion

Hank argues that the Olympics, out of step with how people consume media, should become a massively parallel viewing experience with many cheap, culturally diverse new events, and proposes 16, from sepak takraw to League of Legends.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank loves the Olympics but says they don't get modern media: GIF ban, Ryan Seacrest ceremony, cable-only streaming

  • ★★ Hank says he loves the Olympics: its internationality, its history, celebrating with friends and watching humans do extraordinary things. — 00:00:00
  • ★★★ Hank says the Olympics seem to have no idea how people consume media now: banning GIFs, a 'social media opening ceremony' with Ryan Seacrest, no online viewing without a cable subscription. — 00:00:11
  • ★★ Hank says most young people rightly see a cable subscription as a really bad investment. — 00:00:24

00:00:28 — Proposal: the Olympics as a massively parallel viewing experience with tons of new weird events

  • ★★★ Hank thinks the Olympics miss a bigger opportunity: to understand and share themselves as a massively parallel viewing experience with tons of things happening at once. (hedged) — 00:00:28
  • ★★★ Hank thinks that with distribution and production costs dropping, this is possible; all the Olympics need is a ton of new, interesting and weird events. (hedged) — 00:00:44
  • ★★ Hank introduces a list of sports he says should absolutely be added to the Olympic Games (he says 17 but lists 16). (hedged) — 00:00:55

00:00:55 — The list: sepak takraw, tug of war, wushu, cricket, secret handshakes, robot combat, a cappella, kite fighting, ultrarunning, cheer, kabaddi, parkour, darts, headis, League of Legends, mounted archery

  • ★★ Hank proposes sepak takraw, a Southeast Asian game that is basically volleyball played without hands, with every move done by head, torso and legs. — 00:01:01
  • ★★ Hank proposes tug of war, noting it was an Olympic sport a mere 100 years ago, and says he would love watching it every four years. — 00:01:20
  • ★ Hank proposes wushu, like gymnastics but also fighting, complex and beautiful, with combat and exhibition versions. — 00:01:31
  • ★★ Hank says cricket is the second most popular game in the world yet not in the Olympics, which he calls dumb. — 00:01:44
  • ★★ Hank says BattleBots isn't exactly what he wants, but he'd like people to be able to win gold for building and operating robots that destroy other robots. — 00:01:52
  • ★★ Hank says Peter Hollens just released a collab video in which Hank sings Hobbit drinking songs with him; he is proud of it and links it in the description. — 00:02:05
  • ★★ Hank proposes kite fighting, a South Asian sport using glass-coated strings to cut the opponent's string, popular from Afghanistan to Vietnam to Brazil. — 00:02:20
  • ★★ Hank proposes ultrarunning: the longest Olympic race, the marathon, is just over 26 miles, while ultrarunners regularly race over a hundred miles. — 00:02:31
  • ★ Hank says cheerleading, often belittled, is pretty amazing now, and he loves the idea of cheer teams cheering for entire nations. — 00:02:45
  • ★ Hank describes kabaddi as kind of full-contact tag, where a raider must touch someone on the other side and get back without being tackled. — 00:02:53
  • ★★ Hank adds parkour ('obviously'), darts (amazing and needing no new infrastructure) and headis (table tennis with soccer balls and your head). — 00:03:04
  • ★★ Hank proposes League of Legends, saying that if the Olympics don't get into esports now they will lose an entire generation. — 00:03:16

00:03:29 — Keep the pageantry, but include humanity's cultural diversity; let us post GIFs; sign-off with Hobbit song clip

  • ★★★ Hank says the Olympics' pageantry and patriotism shouldn't be left behind, but thinks the ancient tradition could be far more inclusive of humanity's cultural diversity, which modern technology makes possible. (hedged) — 00:03:30
  • ★★ Hank says the Olympics should let people post GIFs on Tumblr and Twitter. (playful) — 00:03:47 · Tumblr, Twitter

In the description and comments

  • ★★ In the description Hank says the video is about 10% tongue in cheek, but he mostly stands by the suggestions, if not for 2020 or 2024 then someday. — video description

Humor (significant)

  • Hank makes the case for cricket while admitting he knows nothing about it. — 00:01:44

    “and it's not in the Olympics, and that's dumb.”

  • Midway through a list of real sports he wants in the Olympics, Hank slips in a non-sport. — 00:01:50

    “Number 5: Super dope secret handshakes.”

  • Hank proposes a cappella singing for the Olympics and admits why. — 00:02:05

    “Acapella singing, which I'm probably just mentioning because Peter Hollens just released a collab video”

  • Proposing mounted archery, Hank points to two existing Olympic sports, riding and archery, then to their combination. — 00:03:24

    “Because if you've got this and you've got this, then you might as well have this.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Olympic Games

Also: People: Ryan Seacrest

Works: BattleBots · League of Legends · Peter Hollens and Hank Green collab video of Hobbit drinking songs

Organizations: Tumblr · Twitter

Concepts: A cappella · Cheerleading · Cricket · Darts · Esports · GIF · Headis · Kabaddi · Kite fighting · Mounted archery · Parkour · Secret handshake · Sepak takraw · television · Tug of war · Ultramarathon · Wushu (sport)

Only in the description or credits: Peter Hollens

Also centred on Olympic Games: I Don't Understand My Life · Happy Third Chocolate Day! · I Have Uncovered an Olympics Mystery… · The Olympics Mystery Explained!!!

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