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I Don't Understand My Life

2012-08-03 · letter vlog · Hank, Kimya Dawson · 3:39 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Philosophy & meaning (also: Nerdfighteria, Personal life) · mode: Personal essay · tags: calendar ritual, community lore, timely hook, civic or action cta, guest or collab, fundraising ask

On Esther Day Hank answers a commenter who felt worthless watching Olympic gymnasts: value is something people give each other, the value we bring comes from whom we love and who loves us, so say 'I love you' to people you don't usually say it to.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Title card greeting

00:00:06 — Happy Esther Day; things Hank doesn't understand about his life (Pinches's sign, Kimya Dawson buying a shirt, stage dive), with Kimya's cameo

  • ★★ Hank says he sometimes doesn't understand his life: the Olympic gymnast and Nerdfighter signing to millions, Kimya Dawson buying a Nerdfighter shirt from him without his knowing, and his diving off a stage into a crowd. — 00:00:08
  • ★ Kimya Dawson: In a cameo, Kimya Dawson answers that she doesn't understand her life either. (playful) — 00:00:26
  • ★ Hank thinks not understanding our own lives is probably universal. (hedged) — 00:00:30

00:00:35 — The top comment on John's video and Hank's answer: value is given by people; shot put; what matters is loving and being loved, even for Olympians

  • ★★ Hank reads the top comment (93 thumbs up) on John's last video: watching gymnasts their own age made a viewer ask what they are doing with their life, and that feeling sucks. — 00:00:35
  • ★★★ Hank argues gymnastics scoring and appreciation aren't universal: the Olympics has value only because people come together and give it value. — 00:00:52 · social construction
  • ★★ Without people watching and valuing it, shot put would just be a guy in a field throwing a rock, a crazy person. (playful) — 00:01:02 · social construction
  • ★★ When people say they're not doing anything with their life, Hank hears that they think they're doing nothing of value. — 00:01:16
  • ★★★ Though often literally and figuratively on a stage, what matters most to Hank is how much he loves people and how much the people he loves love him. — 00:01:23
  • ★★ Jennifer Pinches, Kyla Ross and McKayla Maroney want to compete and win gold, but most of all, like all people, they want to be loved by those they love. — 00:01:37
  • ★★ Reading that comment this week (week of 30 July 2012) made Esther's message hit home for Hank harder than ever. — 00:01:59 · Esther Earl

00:02:07 — Who Esther Earl was and how she chose the meaning of Esther Day

  • ★★ Esther Earl was a Nerdfighter the brothers met in 2009 at the first LeakyCon; she and her friends were and remain very important to Nerdfighteria; she had lived with cancer a long time. — 00:02:08 · Esther Earl, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★★ When Esther was really sick, John told her the brothers wanted to celebrate her birthday every year the channel existed; after about two weeks she chose a day for saying 'I love you' to family and friends. — 00:02:19 · Esther Earl, John Green, Vlogbrothers, Esther Day

00:02:52 — The value you bring comes from love; a gold medal in love for saying 'I love you'; Esthertines

  • ★★★ To the 93 people who upvoted the comment and others who feel that way: the value you bring to the world comes largely from what you love and who loves you. — 00:02:52
  • ★★★ This Esther Day viewers 'get a gold medal in love' if they say 'I love you' to people they don't usually say it to; don't take love for granted or assume people know how you feel. — 00:03:03 · Esther Day, Esther Earl
  • ★★ A Nerdfighter made Nerdfighter-themed Esthertines that work for anybody, best delivered by hand with a note on why you love them; Hank is going to give Katherine hers. — 00:03:15 · Katherine Green

00:03:29 — Thanks to Nerdfighteria; sign-off

  • ★ Hank thanks Nerdfighteria for spreading these ideas and making the world suck less, more awesome and a little weirder. — 00:03:29 · Nerdfighteria, world suck

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Esther Day · Esther Earl · Olympic Games · social construction

Also: People: Jennifer Pinches · Katherine Green · Kimya Dawson · Kyla Ross · McKayla Maroney

Works: Esthertines

Rituals: Nerdfighter gang sign

Terms: world suck

Concepts: gymnastics · shot put

Events: LeakyCon · Valentine's Day

Only in the description or credits: This Star Won't Go Out (charity)

Also centred on Olympic Games: Happy Third Chocolate Day! · 16 Sports that Should Be in the Olympics · I Have Uncovered an Olympics Mystery… · The Olympics Mystery Explained!!!

Replies to

  • continues · Nerd Olympics — “John, when I watched your last video, the top comment had 93 thumbs up.”

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