I Love John: Esther Day 2019

2019-08-03 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:47 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Nerdfighteria (also: Philosophy & meaning) · mode: Personal essay · tags: calendar ritual, civic or action cta, community lore

On the tenth Esther Day Hank tells John he loves him and argues that, though some traditions clash with our values, the existence of tradition is good: Esther's day for familial love was genius, because things are more true when said and heard.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — A surprise Saturday video: Hank tells John he loves him; the tenth Esther Day

★ Hank jokes that his Saturday video, a day after his octopus video, throws a wrench in the schedule. (playful) — 00:00:00
★★ Hank tells John that he, his brother, loves him and thanks him for being a good brother. — 00:00:12 · John Green
★★★ Hank marks the occasion: it is the tenth Esther Day. — 00:00:20 · Esther Day, Esther Earl

00:00:25 — John's hair at the first Esther Day; ten years of telling family and friends we love them

★★★ For ten years, at the request of nerdfighter Esther Earl, the community has taken a day to tell friends and family, not internet faves or crushes, that we love them. — 00:00:45 · Esther Earl, Esther Day, Nerdfighteria
★★★ Hank says we may assume loved ones know, but they still want to hear it, and it is good to say it out loud. — 00:01:00

00:01:12 — Tradition's bad rap versus the value of tradition; Mother's Day, Valentine's Day and Katherine

★★ Hank says tradition gets a bad rap because it comes from bad old times, and some traditions held unmodified can run counter to our values. — 00:01:12
★★★ Hank, perhaps just getting old, thinks the existence of tradition is very good. — 00:01:30
★★ A yearly time to thank your mom is a good tradition, even if a greeting card company created it. — 00:01:38
★★ Hank has at times conflated particular ways of doing a tradition with tradition itself and rebelled against tradition, when he should have rebelled against certain ways of experiencing traditions. — 00:01:50
★★ Valentine's Day as people do it has always seemed blah to Hank, but he likes the chance to write Katherine a card saying he loves her and why. — 00:02:05 · Katherine Green
★★ Disliking the traditional way of celebrating, Hank and Katherine don't celebrate Valentine's Day at all, but maybe they should find their own way. (hedged) — 00:02:25 · Katherine Green
★★★ Esther's request to celebrate her birthday by celebrating familial love was genius: there was no day for that, and the tradition needed to exist. — 00:02:40 · Esther Earl, Esther Day

00:02:48 — Esther's genius; saying it out loud; Hank to John; the ask; sign-off

★★★ Hank says things are more true when we say them out loud, and definitely more true when we hear them. — 00:02:56

“things are more true when we say them out loud and they're definitely more true when we hear them”
★★ Hank tells John he appreciates him: a good person, hard worker and great dad; he loves him and loves working with him. — 00:03:01 · John Green
★★ Hank would never say any of that without the tradition; ten years in, it is normal for him. — 00:03:17
★★★ Hank asks everyone else, first-timers or ten-year veterans, to text, email, call or write a letter telling people who probably know it that they love them; they'll love hearing it. — 00:03:25

In the description and comments

★★ The description says Esther Earl was a Nerdfighter, activist and cool person who died of thyroid cancer in 2010. — video description · Esther Earl, Nerdfighteria
★ The description points to This Star Won't Go Out, an organization inspired by Esther that supports families of children with cancer. — video description · This Star Won't Go Out (charity), Esther Earl

Threads in this video

milestone · Esther Day: the brothers' annual videos on Esther Earl's birthday about what she chooses (2010) — Hank marks the tenth Esther Day and shows John announcing the very first one. (00:00:20) → refers to I Love Hank: Esther Day 2010
first on record · Is tradition valuable, or does it bind people to outdated ways? — Hank, perhaps just getting old, thinks the existence of tradition is very good. (00:01:30)
reminder · John asks Nerdfighters to tell someone they love that they love them on Esther Day (2010) — Hank asks everyone else, first-timers or ten-year veterans, to text, email, call or write a letter telling people who probably know it that they love them; they'll love hearing it. (00:03:25)
restate · Is nostalgia trustworthy: were earlier times, or earlier generations, really better? — Hank says tradition gets a bad rap because it comes from bad old times, and some traditions held unmodified can run counter to our values. (00:01:12)
restate · What makes a good romantic relationship or friendship? — Hank says we may assume loved ones know, but they still want to hear it, and it is good to say it out loud. (00:01:00)
retold · Death of Nerdfighter Esther Earl, John's friend (2010) — The description says Esther Earl was a Nerdfighter, activist and cool person who died of thyroid cancer in 2010. (video description)
callback · The brothers' agreement never to use the L-word about each other (2010) — Hank would never say any of that without the tradition; ten years in, it is normal for him. (00:03:17)
reminder · Hank invites viewers to donate to This Star Won't Go Out on Esther Day (2012) — The description points to This Star Won't Go Out, an organization inspired by Esther that supports families of children with cancer. (video description)

Where the stories that moved here went next

Esther Day: the brothers' annual videos on Esther Earl's birthday about what she chooses (2010) — running; last: milestone, 2026-08-03

Mentioned

Central: Esther Day · Esther Earl · tradition

Also: Colin Firth · Katherine Green · love · Mother's Day · Pride and Prejudice (1995 TV series) · Valentine's Day

Only in the description or credits: This Star Won't Go Out (charity)

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