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Rest In Awesome, Esther

2010-08-27 · letter vlog · John, Esther Earl · 3:19 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Nerdfighteria (also: Philosophy & meaning) · mode: Personal essay · tags: heavy topic, fundraising ask, community lore, guest or collab

John remembers Nerdfighter Esther Earl, who died aged 16: her character and place in Nerdfighteria, his belief in standing still with grief and bearing witness rather than rushing to a silver lining, an ask to give to the Friends of Esther Fund, and a closing clip of her saying family is important.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Esther Earl has died aged 16: her friendships in Nerdfighteria, the scrapbook, her character, a Formspring answer and a tweet

  • ★★★ John reports that Esther Earl, the Nerdfighter who inspired many of Nerdfighteria's recent worldsuck-decreasing projects, died earlier this week (week of 23 August 2010), aged 16. — 00:00:01 · Esther Earl, Nerdfighteria, world suck
  • ★★ Esther was a great friend to many in Nerdfighteria and to John; the community was a huge part of her life, her best friends were Nerdfighters, who gave her a scrapbook from hundreds of them. — 00:00:09 · Esther Earl, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★★ John describes Esther as an amazing kid, astonishingly empathetic, thoughtful and very funny, but not an angel or a model of perfection: a person, a teenager. — 00:00:33 · Esther Earl
  • ★ As examples John cites Esther's playful Formspring answer about naming her butt cheeks and a contemplative tweet about words going into her brain. — 00:00:46 · Esther Earl, Twitter

00:01:02 — The HPA win with Esther, Esther Day's 'I love you', and continuing projects with her

  • ★★ John says that with Esther the Nerdfighter community came together and helped the Harry Potter Alliance win $250,000. — 00:01:02 · Esther Earl, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ John says it was because of Esther that on Esther Day he told Hank he loves him, which he does, though he doesn't want to talk about it. — 00:01:08 · Esther Earl, Esther Day, Hank Green
  • ★★★ John says the community will continue to do projects with Esther: she will be with them most when they work to decrease worldsuck and show love for others. — 00:01:14 · Esther Earl, world suck

00:01:24 — Chaplaincy lesson 'don't just do something, stand there': bearing witness to grief; Esther's belief that the dead live on

  • ★★ Before writing books John worked as a chaplain at a children's hospital, where his supervisor told him: don't just do something, stand there. — 00:01:24
  • ★★★ John argues that rather than rushing to mitigate loss or find a silver lining, there is real value in standing still, being sad, bearing witness to Esther's life and being transformed by it. — 00:01:35 · Esther Earl
  • ★★ John recounts that when he saw Esther in Boston a couple of months ago she said she believes the dead live on in the memory and lives of those they touched. — 00:01:52 · Esther Earl

00:02:01 — Ask to give to the Friends of Esther Fund; links to Esther's Twitter, YouTube and vlogs

  • ★★★ John asks those so inclined to give to the Friends of Esther Fund, which goes directly to her family for expenses incurred during her care; link in the doobly-doo. — 00:02:01 · Esther Earl, doobly-doo
  • ★★ John links Esther's Twitter and YouTube accounts; she vlogged through much of the last month and her vlogs are hilarious, charming and very touching. — 00:02:14 · Esther Earl, Twitter, YouTube

00:02:24 — Schedule (normal videos Monday, punishment Wednesday), thanks for the birthday video, 'This Star Won't Go Out'; sign-off

  • ★★ John says vlogbrothers videos will look vlogbrother-y again from Monday and he will do his punishment on Wednesday (1 September 2010). — 00:02:24 · Vlogbrothers, Punishment
  • ★ John thanks everyone who took part in the birthday video. — 00:02:29

  • ★★★ Esther means 'star', and her friends printed a bracelet reading 'This Star Won't Go Out'; John says it won't: we won't let it. — 00:02:40 · Esther Earl

    “This Star Won't Go Out.”

00:02:50 — Coda: Esther's answer to 'what would you tell your younger self?'; 'Esther, my friend, godspeed'

  • ★★ John tells a story: answering questions written on a soccer ball, Esther was asked what she would tell her younger self, and her answer is a nice reminder to everyone. — 00:02:50 · Esther Earl
  • ★★ Esther Earl: In the clip Esther says she might tell her younger self that family is important. (hedged) — 00:03:07 · Esther Earl

In the description and comments

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Esther Earl · Friends of Esther Fund · grief

Also: Organizations: Formspring · The Harry Potter Alliance · Twitter · YouTube

Rituals: Esther Day · Punishment

Terms: doobly-doo · world suck

Places: Boston

Only in the description or credits: Eff Yeah Nerdfighters

Also centred on grief: John and Rainn Wilson Talk Romance · Thanks, Lemon · You Are Here · Hard Week · About THAT Scene in Looking for Alaska · Esther Day 2026: Some Thoughts on Loss

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