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Register 2012: hedges and bits

Statements from 2012 that are not plain sincere assertions: sincere claims the speaker hedged or marked as uncertain (with the hedge words quoted), and statements made as a bit. Plain sincere, unhedged statements are on the video pages. Back to the overview.

John

781 statements · sincere 77% · playful 21% · other bits 2% · hedged or unsure 9%

Sincere but hedged (57)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 24 · wish / hope 6 · opinion marker 19 · other hedge 5 · hedge words not recorded 3.

Epistemic doubt (24)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

  • 2012-01-10 · The Fault in Our Stars — Asked if TFIOS is his best book, John doesn't know: its reviews are better than any of his other books', but authors shouldn't judge their own work; Mark Twain thought Joan of Arc his best. — hedged: “I don't know.” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:38)
  • 2012-02-07 · 10 Misconceptions Debunked! — John grants that apparently the universe has no edge, says he still doesn't understand how, and is sure Hank will explain it to him. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:37)
  • 2012-02-14 · Things I Can Do — John says projects like Gumroad and Kickstarter make him think the internet might someday become the artistic utopia: a place to make a living making things you care about with and for people you care about. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)
  • 2012-03-06 · Know Your News! Understanding the Syrian Revolution in Under 4 Minutes — John suggests the vetoes may stem from old Cold War ties, from what Russia and China see as a failed intervention in Libya, and from Russia's only Middle East naval port being in Syria. — hedged: “possibly because of” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:55)
  • 2012-03-20 · Sharpie Face Question Tuesday — John says he always wanted to be a teacher, and thanks to Crash Course he kind of can be: he is living his teacher dream. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:08)
  • 2012-04-03 · Idiotic Governance: How Our Political Discourse Hurts Our Economy — John says Congress finally passed a long-term FAA budget in February, but by then the dispute had probably cost a billion dollars. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:42)
  • 2012-04-03 · Idiotic Governance: How Our Political Discourse Hurts Our Economy — John says everyone agrees Medicare, a popular program giving health care to old people, is unsustainable: by 2020 it could account for 5% of GDP. — hedged: “could” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:34)
  • 2012-05-22 · You ARE The Product — Unsure, John asks Nerdfighters whether Chrysler, super PACs and scammy online dating sites should fund Nerdfighteria and whether to be okay with being the product, to discuss in comments. — hedged: “But I don't know.” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:33)
  • 2012-07-03 · The Physics of Book Clubs and Vidcon — John says both brothers will read Fahrenheit 451 and make videos about it; their readings will probably differ, letting the community discuss how and why we read and what is fulfilling. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:36)
  • 2012-07-10 · Feeling More Alive: Fahrenheit 451's The Hearth and the Salamander — John calls Fahrenheit 451 an old-fashioned novel of ideas, like Jonathan Livingston Seagull or The Fountainhead, a kind of book that usually annoys him because it isn't really about its story. — hedged: “it seems to me” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:18)
  • 2012-07-17 · Hitler and Sex! — John says the many rumors about Hitler's sex life were mainly thought up by Allied propaganda to discredit him and are probably not true, but he will repeat them anyway. — hedged: “Probably not” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:41)
  • 2012-07-17 · Hitler and Sex! — John says Hitler probably had two testicles, at least according to his personal physician. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:41)
  • 2012-08-21 · Is College Worth It? — John says most studies show that on average college is still very much worth it, though some for-profit universities and misleading vocational programs probably aren't. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:49)
  • 2012-08-21 · Is College Worth It? — For a reasonably good accredited university, John says two things are true: it is criminally overpriced, and it is probably still worth it. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:59)
  • 2012-08-28 · In Which the Candle Dies — Expecting an unpopular opinion, John loves the Swedish TFIOS cover: bold, weird, pulpy, all love, death, grenades and sacrifice, the cover Augustus would want. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
  • 2012-09-04 · The Five Worst Places to Vomit — Many astronauts have puked; vomiting in a spacesuit can be fatal through aspiration, so NASA added air currents around the suit's face to push vomit away. — hedged: “it could also be fatal” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:41)
  • 2012-10-02 · What To Do With Your Life — John: like life now, adulthood means balancing idealism and practicality; even at 14 or 15 you are already kind of doing adulthood. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:43)
  • 2012-10-09 · Attacked by Squirrels and Neoclassicism: Thoughts from Places, Washington D.C. — John says the capital's neoclassical buildings look like something between a church and a fort, which he guesses is what governments are. — hedged: “I guess” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:07)
  • 2012-10-16 · Burning Peeps, My OTP, and Velociraptors: It's Question Tuesday — John doesn't know when his next book will come out, perhaps 2014 or 2015; it's going to be a while. — hedged: “I don't know” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:11)
  • 2012-10-23 · Understanding the National Debt and Budget Deficit — John says a debt spiral might be much worse for the US than for Greece, because it enjoys the world's most trusted currency: most US paper currency circulates abroad, keeping its debt cheap. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:04:01)
  • 2012-11-04 · Policy and Politics: Brotherhood 2.0 Week Begins — John thinks Romney's idea is bad, since even people with a billion dollars in capital gains would get their first $250,000 untaxed, and Obama's plan better, but he might be wrong. — hedged: “I might be wrong” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:26)
  • 2012-11-08 · VOLT! A Dream Comes True. — John calls the Volt perhaps the most politicized car of our time: people ask why buy it over a cheaper Toyota Corolla, assuming he thinks he'll fix global warming. — hedged: “perhaps” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:42)
  • 2012-11-27 · Nerdfighter Book Recommendations: A Gift Giving Guide for Nerdfightastic Readers — For Whovians, John recommends Connie Willis's To Say Nothing of the Dog, maybe his favorite time-travel book. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:26)
  • 2012-12-11 · Economics and Dentistry: YOUTUBE'S FAVORITE TOPICS — John is up extremely early to go to the dentist to find out whether he needs a root canal, which he expects he probably does. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)

Wish / hope (6)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

  • 2012-01-27 · In 'N' Out-Erview — In his final words John says he hopes viewers like The Fault in Our Stars and thanks them for being awesome. — hedged: “I hope” [wish / hope] (00:02:29)
  • 2012-03-13 · Actually Free Money! (Really.) The Bank of Nerdfighteria's Quarterly Report — John hopes many Nerdfighters take the offer so the group grows and they discover the wonders of microfinance. — hedged: “Hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:02:52)
  • 2012-03-20 · Sharpie Face Question Tuesday — John says Fox 2000 optioned the movie rights to The Fault in Our Stars; hopefully they will make it, but it is too soon to get excited. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:00:16)
  • 2012-04-24 · Beneath an Abandoned Hospital: Thoughts from Places — Skipping an unappealing sewer entrance, they explored a steam tunnel that grew colder and narrower and led to a flooded room, another tunnel and a huge empty room containing a bloody bathtub, which John hopes was a horror-movie leftover. — hedged: “I hope” [wish / hope] (00:01:57)
  • 2012-05-01 · Moon Farts: Being Charlie While Running Errands — In a P.S., John asks Nerdfighters what they are doing for Hanko de Mayo and hopes they will do lots of fun nerdfightastic things. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:02:52)
  • 2012-09-25 · Do Businesses Need to Suck? — John says it depends on demand whether this part of the business can grow, hopefully it will; the items are on pre-order at DFTBA.com. — hedged: “Hopefully it will” [wish / hope] (00:02:55)

Opinion marker (19)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

  • 2012-01-10 · The Fault in Our Stars — John doesn't think he could have written TFIOS until he was a parent. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (00:01:00)
  • 2012-01-10 · The Fault in Our Stars — John thinks V for Vendetta is primarily a proponent of a very specific and pervasive idea of heroism, rather than of democracy or anarchy. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:17)
  • 2012-02-14 · Things I Can Do — John says he is not a fan of illegal disruptions of content delivery systems: stealing has been around a long time and there is nothing revolutionary or cool about it. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:26)
  • 2012-02-28 · On Cuties and Cooties — John thinks this holds for elementary school, YouTube or anything else. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:27)
  • 2012-03-20 · Sharpie Face Question Tuesday — On geeks vs nerds, John says the fact that both are so fascinated with the question suggests they have a lot in common. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:59)
  • 2012-04-17 · Thoughts on Romance and Sex in an Airport — John doesn't think there is one 'one'. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (00:01:11)
  • 2012-04-24 · Beneath an Abandoned Hospital: Thoughts from Places — John suggests this is why we explore, read, watch sports, browse Tumblr and study astrophysics: whether watching horror movies or visiting their sets, we seek the terrifying, awesome, otherworldly feeling of not knowing what lies in wait. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:08)
  • 2012-05-22 · You ARE The Product — John believes the internet maxim: if you are not paying for a service, you are the product being sold. — hedged: “I believe” [opinion marker] (00:00:44)
  • 2012-07-10 · Feeling More Alive: Fahrenheit 451's The Hearth and the Salamander — John reads the fighter jets that seem to 'pulverise the stars' as a clear message: technology has pulverized our nature. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:17)
  • 2012-07-17 · Hitler and Sex! — After the producer's TV offer, John says he thinks he'll stick with YouTube. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:27)
  • 2012-09-18 · Existential Airport Anxiety — John says he long argued that books, which resist multitasking, are the solution to a superficially distracted life, but now thinks he was wrong: the medium doesn't matter. — hedged: “I think I was wrong” [opinion marker] (00:01:30)
  • 2012-09-18 · Existential Airport Anxiety — Quoting Faber's 'take it where you can find it', John thinks the 'it' is ideas offering sustenance and intellectual engagement, and such stories, in any medium, are not distracting. — hedged: “I think that it is” [opinion marker] (00:02:00)
  • 2012-10-02 · What To Do With Your Life — John thinks what scared him about choosing school and a subject was that every decision narrowed his options, which will keep narrowing until death. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:55)
  • 2012-10-09 · Attacked by Squirrels and Neoclassicism: Thoughts from Places, Washington D.C. — John says he shares Sarah's mixed feelings about US history but feels it is too soon to say: for better or worse, the United States is just getting started. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:03:27)
  • 2012-10-23 · Understanding the National Debt and Budget Deficit — John thinks returning to the gold standard, as commenters will propose, is a very bad idea, for reasons he gives in the description. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:04:45)
  • 2012-11-04 · Policy and Politics: Brotherhood 2.0 Week Begins — John thinks it an open question whether people start businesses hoping for a slightly lower rate; some economists think it fuels growth, others don't. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:26)
  • 2012-11-06 · Terrible at Frenching: My Spicy Summer Camp Story — On the last night of camp, aged about 14 or older, at a square dance, a friend asked if his kissing was a joke; his girlfriend of three days confirmed he was terrible and showed him how. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:33)
  • 2012-11-27 · Nerdfighter Book Recommendations: A Gift Giving Guide for Nerdfightastic Readers — For fans of The Catcher in the Rye, John recommends Toni Morrison's Sula: if Catcher is the great American novel of growing up without a friend, Sula is the one about friendship in adolescence. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:58)
  • 2012-11-27 · Nerdfighter Book Recommendations: A Gift Giving Guide for Nerdfightastic Readers — For Sherlock fans, John recommends The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle, and thinks they would like P.D. James. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:55)

Other hedge (5)

a hedge that matches none of the word lists

  • 2012-01-02 · Changes to Vlogbrothers — John says the main reason is that he is still sick and his doctors want him to scale back on work, so he is going to try to honour their wishes. — hedged: “I'm gonna try” [other hedge] (00:01:08)
  • 2012-05-08 · Tiny Chickens Invade, But Still I Vote — John likes voting and is grateful to vote, but doesn't think his vote matters much, and not in the obvious sense that his is one vote among many. — hedged: “I just don't think” [other hedge] (00:01:21)
  • 2012-10-02 · What To Do With Your Life — Most importantly, John says, surround yourself with people you like and make cool stuff with them; who you do it with matters more than what you do. — hedged: “at least in my experience” [other hedge] (00:02:52)
  • 2012-11-13 · I Was a Child Poet. And a Bad One. — The de Grummond collection holds, John says, thousands of famous manuscripts. — hedged: “like” [other hedge] (00:03:25)
  • 2012-12-11 · Economics and Dentistry: YOUTUBE'S FAVORITE TOPICS — John says the foundation now has $15,000 in the bank plus $60,000 in pledges, which he says should be bigger than last year (2011). — hedged: “should be bigger than last year” [other hedge] (00:00:29)

Hedge words not recorded (3)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

  • 2012-02-28 · On Cuties and Cooties — John asks why as a student he worked far too hard to be liked but not to read great novels or grasp the universe's edgelessness, and has no answer. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:26)
  • 2012-03-06 · Know Your News! Understanding the Syrian Revolution in Under 4 Minutes — John says violence continues with no clear path forward: Syria was expelled from the Arab League and sanctions will hurt its economy, but it is unclear whether Assad will resign or stability return. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:55)
  • 2012-07-10 · Feeling More Alive: Fahrenheit 451's The Hearth and the Salamander — John asks whether we have replaced intellectual engagement with superficial browsing, and whether sustained attention is possible amid distractions, where a CSI episode can be rewatched unrecognized. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:03:39)

Satire (1)

a mock position (e.g. a fake moral panic) — the opposite of what is meant

Joke (8)

a gag; not a claim

Hypothetical (3)

a thought experiment or "what if"

  • 2012-08-21 · Is College Worth It? — In John's example, $100,000 of college including $60,000 in loans costs about $80,000 in loan repayments with interest, a total of $120,000. (00:00:37)
  • 2012-08-21 · Is College Worth It? — Adding the opportunity cost of studying instead of working and adjusting for inflation, John ballparks the example's college cost at about $140,000. (00:01:08)
  • 2012-08-21 · Is College Worth It? — John calculates that over 50-ish working years college pays off if it adds $175,000 in earnings, about $1.75 an hour: e.g. $13 an hour on average instead of $11.25. (00:01:23)

Playful (166)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

Hank

730 statements · sincere 81% · playful 18% · other bits 2% · hedged or unsure 13%

Sincere but hedged (86)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 41 · wish / hope 1 · opinion marker 31 · other hedge 12 · hedge words not recorded 1.

Epistemic doubt (41)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank says the average American apparently watches five hours of television a day, so will spend 4.5 years of their life watching advertisements, by his own math. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:27)
  • 2012-02-03 · An Awful Lot of Touring — Hank says his trouble remembering is probably partly due to all the NyQuil he has taken. — hedged: “Probably partially” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:35)
  • 2012-02-10 · How Big is the Universe? — Hank says the universe might instead be finite, with an edge somewhere beyond where we can see. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:02)
  • 2012-02-10 · How Big is the Universe? — On the end screen Hank says this video is what SciShow is all the time, with nicer production values, and suggests subscribing at youtube.com/SciShow. — hedged: “you may want to” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:10)
  • 2012-03-09 · The Future of Manned Space Exploration — Hank says Ceres, a spherical dwarf planet 600 miles wide in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, may contain a subterranean ocean, and an unmanned probe will reach it in 2015. — hedged: “possibly” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:23)
  • 2012-03-09 · The Future of Manned Space Exploration — Hank says before the SLS and Orion announcement he had begun to think he would never see humanity set foot on another planet; now he expects, given a normal lifespan, to see it. — hedged: “If I can live, you know, sort of a manageable amount of time for a guy my age, I should” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:22)
  • 2012-03-09 · The Future of Manned Space Exploration — Hank says the person taking that first step might be a young nerd watching now, and asks them to remember him and wave hi. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:22)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — Citing the controversy over the R rating of the documentary Bully, about kids verbally abused until they want to die, Hank suggests the system protects kids from emotion, not violence. — hedged: “I guess” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — Recalling John's broccoli-and-ice-cream point in The Fault in Our Stars (happiness does not depend on sadness), Hank says enjoying spring would not depend on its absence; he would still enjoy constant spring. — hedged: “I guess” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:56)
  • 2012-04-06 · Can I be Space President? — Hank's video about the Webb telescope about a year ago apparently delighted NASA, which tweeted at him; it circulated in the offices of NASA and its contractors. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:33)
  • 2012-04-12 · Introducing Lizzie Bennet — Hank wanted to do something no one had done before: an adaptation in online video, transferring a previous work into the new medium; he knows of no examples. — hedged: “I don't know of any examples” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:36)
  • 2012-05-04 · Screaming Through VidCon — VidCon has been asking VidCon-related questions on VYou; Hank invites viewers to answer, and something cool might happen if a suggestion is taken. — hedged: “potentially something cool might happen” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:57)
  • 2012-05-04 · Screaming Through VidCon — King of the Web is working with VidCon to crown VidCon kings in music, gaming, vlogging and other categories; Hank is pretty sure winners get a free ticket and cash. — hedged: “Pretty sure” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:27)
  • 2012-05-11 · Your Arguments Are Invalid: Gay Marriage — Hank notes the Bible is also explicit about rules for farmers selling their daughters as slaves, so it is maybe not the best basis for laws. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:15)
  • 2012-06-15 · Flinching in the Shower — Hank says that, apparently, Fifty Shades of Grey, basically Twilight fan fiction turned into a novel, has now sold more books than Ray Bradbury did in his entire life. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:27)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank suggests the old relationship between audiences and celebrities was artificial and that the barrier between creators and consumers no longer exists. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:48)
  • 2012-07-06 · The Higgs Boson — Hank says every force carrier has been observed except the graviton, which probably will never be seen, so we may never really know whether it exists. — hedged: “Probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:04)
  • 2012-07-13 · An Army of Mindless Drones — Hank says no one in the book or in all of literature is more unrealistic than Mildred: no amount of TV watching leads to accidentally attempting suicide; you can't scrub love out of the human. — hedged: “I might be crazy, but I feel like” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:56)
  • 2012-07-20 · The Universe is Weird: A Song — Hank sings that once, in a gassy liquid stew, a molecule turned into us, and that the universe creating a tool with which to know itself may be the biggest mystery of all. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:19)
  • 2012-08-03 · I Don't Understand My Life — Hank thinks not understanding our own lives is probably universal. — hedged: “Probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:30)
  • 2012-08-04 · EXTRA! Thoughts from Tour — Hank says the amount of awesome per person seems to be universally pretty high. — hedged: “seems” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:45)
  • 2012-08-10 · I Don't Have a Favorite Pony — Hank says the Kickstarter ends in two or three days, but the game will be sold at local game stores and probably at DFTBA.com. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:31)
  • 2012-08-31 · Why The Rich Pay Lower Taxes — Investment matters, Hank grants, but income seems worth more to him, so he asks why we tax money earned by providing actual value more heavily. — hedged: “to me, it seems like” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:06)
  • 2012-08-31 · Why The Rich Pay Lower Taxes — Hank is concerned that tax-policy advisers make their money this way; maybe they overvalue their impact, maybe they're greedy, or maybe they're right. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:28)
  • 2012-09-28 · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana — Hank says this makes him think of other ways the justice system is kind of screwed up, and he changes the subject. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
  • 2012-10-12 · Human Sexuality is Complicated… — Hank thinks the best, maybe only, solution is understanding that there are no nice shiny boxes, or else infinitely many, enough for every person who ever exists. — hedged: “I think the best, and maybe only way” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:40)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — Hank says apples may have been the first cultivated fruit tree in human history. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:49)
  • 2012-11-02 · Disney Buys Star Wars and DFTVA! — Hank made his first playlist, linked in the description, of about half an hour of videos on the news, including him and Katherine on Darcy Day; it works only on computers. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:48)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — Hank adds that the ballot question was odd: a two-part question whose first part a majority answered in favour of a status change, while many skipped the second, so the statehood majority may have been outweighed by those wanting no change, independence or a different commonwealth status. — hedged: “may have been” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — Hank suggests the biggest piece of American history yesterday went unreported on the news, may not have been decided in America, but was decided by Americans. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:15)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — The UN, opposed to colonization, says this is not really okay (hence a French island is the Eurozone's southernmost point), but Puerto Ricans had always said the status quo was fine, so the UN accepted it. — hedged: “sort of” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:00)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — Hank says Puerto Rico has now apparently decided for statehood, raising issues beyond fitting an extra star on the flag. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:46)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — Probably all of those members of Congress would be Democrats, so a Republican House would not be excited to give statehood a supermajority. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:26)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — The bigger barrier may be that Americans dislike change: the 50 states feel numerologically fixed though the number has often changed, and politics follows what feels true. — hedged: “don't seem to” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:54)
  • 2012-11-09 · The Stadium of Representatives: The End of B20 Week :-( — Because the 435 cap has been in place so long, Hank thinks it is really unlikely the number will ever go up again. — hedged: “really unlikely” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
  • 2012-11-16 · We're all Scared — Hank finds talking to a stranger always scary, and feels everyone must to some extent, because you are making yourself inside the other person. — hedged: “I don't know, I feel like” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:59)
  • 2012-11-23 · Black Friday: An Accident of History — In 1621 the first English settlers in America had a bountiful crop on a Thursday and were thankful, inspiring the holiday; Hank calls this somewhat mythological. — hedged: “Apparently.” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:15)
  • 2012-11-23 · Black Friday: An Accident of History — It seems upsetting to Hank that the day after declaring our satisfaction we are barraged with ads for what we lack; yet shopping matters to the economy and wanting to give gifts is no crime. — hedged: “It seems” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:44)
  • 2012-11-30 · VidCon 2013! — Hank tells those who cannot get to Anaheim that maybe gatherings will come to their part of the world soon, especially the United Kingdom, which is all he can say for now. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:15)
  • 2012-12-07 · Thoughts from Dead Animals — Hank suggests that instead of doing Thoughts from Places from really weird places, they could find really weird places where they live. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:07)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank says they think it might be nice to have more winners and that the money would do more good spread across more charities. — hedged: “we're thinking it might be nice” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:19)

Wish / hope (1)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

Opinion marker (31)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank thinks online video is generally more engaging, more likely to be what you want, more convenient, a better interface, better for discovery and more rewarding. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:47)
  • 2012-02-03 · An Awful Lot of Touring — Most people can't do a three-week tour with crowds who know his songs, which Hank finds weird, but he thinks everyone has chances to leave their comfort zone, like volunteering at a homeless shelter or going where people line dance. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:33)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — Hank says he enjoyed The Hunger Games movie but thinks it missed a lot of what it could have been, since it is a moral story. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:29)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — Hank feels that for a violent movie to get a PG-13 rating today it must trivialize violence and take the emotion and suffering out of death, and asks if that is what we protect kids from. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:00:29)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — Hank says what he enjoys most is anticipation; he thinks humans care more about anticipating a thing, like a new game or movie, than about getting it. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:26)
  • 2012-04-06 · Can I be Space President? — Hank believes the James Webb Space Telescope is one of his generation's greatest contributions, not just to science but to the world. — hedged: “I believe” [opinion marker] (00:00:33)
  • 2012-04-06 · Can I be Space President? — Every civilization passes down marvels; Hank feels the Webb telescope and Hubble are our pyramids, which future generations will admire as things people achieved together. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:02:56)
  • 2012-04-12 · Introducing Lizzie Bennet — Hank feels Vlogbrothers is a story but not an intentional one; with this series they are deliberately telling a story, splitting and writing it and moving it into the present day. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:01:42)
  • 2012-04-13 · This is How You Load a Dishwasher - A Song — Hank thinks people care about the Titanic because its sinking is not history to them but still cultural memory, one of those things everybody should know. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:07)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — Hank suggests adults keep their old friends and make new ones as always, through mutual acquaintances, shared interests and finding people who annoy them less, then cook dinner, bowl or do bad karaoke together. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:37)
  • 2012-05-11 · Your Arguments Are Invalid: Gay Marriage — Hank says the biggest actual complaint is that gay marriage feels unnatural; he thinks people build their world's rules and want sharp lines on gender and sexual orientation in a gray world. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:19)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank says this connection is natural, not technological, and thinks the earlier way of being entertained was really artificial. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:19)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank thinks walls in media, communication and entertainment are breaking down, leaving people building what existed before: rants, juggling, skits and singing are not new. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:48)
  • 2012-07-13 · An Army of Mindless Drones — Hank says he reads books very differently from John: he thinks about what they do to him, not how, and constant analysis would keep a book from doing its work. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:00:00)
  • 2012-07-13 · An Army of Mindless Drones — Hank also thinks that, as a science-fiction novel, Fahrenheit 451 sketches its culture poorly, though it is a short book; he may save that discussion for next time. — hedged: “I also think” [opinion marker] (video description)
  • 2012-07-13 · An Army of Mindless Drones — Hank says John was terribly unfair to single out Clarisse as unrealistic in a novel full of unrealistic characters; as a professional constructor of fake teenagers John may be hypersensitive; Hank likes her. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:29)
  • 2012-09-14 · 1000 VIDEOS!!! — Hank says he would feel bad about those 1,500 years of viewers' lives if he didn't feel they had done some pretty cool things with that time. — hedged: “if I didn't feel like” [opinion marker] (00:00:58)
  • 2012-09-14 · 1000 VIDEOS!!! — Hank says they made remarkable friends worldwide and helped create and define a creative community that he thinks is bound for really amazing things. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:21)
  • 2012-09-21 · You. Must. Vote. — Hank says American democracy, however inefficient and infuriating, is a pretty good system that has done well by us; America is overall pretty great, democracy a big reason why. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:47)
  • 2012-09-21 · You. Must. Vote. — Hank thinks voting in America is not a privilege but a responsibility to the country, ourselves, fellow Americans, the world and the future, because US laws affect everything. — hedged: “I personally think, and you are welcome to disagree with me,” [opinion marker] (00:03:20)
  • 2012-10-12 · Human Sexuality is Complicated… — Hank acknowledges he is not a sociologist and is a straight white man spared much of the hate others face; his goal is understanding, which he thinks will reduce hate and self-hate. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:04)
  • 2012-10-19 · Revolutionizing Education...With Weirdos — Hank thinks educational online video has the potential power to change the face of the world. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:58)
  • 2012-10-19 · Revolutionizing Education...With Weirdos — Nothing excites Hank more right now than revolutionizing how and what we teach; he thinks he and John are part of that innovation and lucky to be there. — hedged: “I honestly think” [opinion marker] (00:03:25)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — Hank expects the opposition to cite $20 billion of extra Medicare and Medicaid costs, but says the bigger issue is the balance of Congress. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:56)
  • 2012-11-07 · The 51st State — Those representatives would come out of other states' districts rather than be added, cutting their representation, which Hank thinks many states would be upset about. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:13)
  • 2012-11-23 · Black Friday: An Accident of History — It is DFTBA's fourth anniversary as a company; to celebrate, all US shipping this weekend, starting tomorrow he thinks, is $4 whatever you buy. — hedged: “I think,” [opinion marker] (00:02:08)
  • 2012-11-23 · Black Friday: An Accident of History — Hank thinks it important not to scrub satisfaction and thankfulness from our minds once Thanksgiving is over, so on Black Friday he keeps being thankful. — hedged: “I do think” [opinion marker] (00:02:20)
  • 2012-12-14 · I Got Nothin… — Hank wonders whether this counts as a video: there is nothing to say, and he thinks he will have to come back tomorrow and make a video then. — hedged: “I think I'm gonna” [opinion marker] (00:00:07)
  • 2012-12-14 · I Got Nothin… — Hank says he does not feel like analysis or musings, he's 'got nothing', and he thinks everybody feels about the same. — hedged: “I think everybody feels about the same” [opinion marker] (00:00:28)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank admits he is proud of his drawing and suggests that adults are somehow not supposed to be proud of their accomplishments anymore. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:50)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank questions why the USDA, responsible for the agriculture industry, decides what is healthy in food, arguing it should be Health and Human Services, responsible for Americans' health. — hedged: “I would think” [opinion marker] (00:01:19)

Other hedge (12)

a hedge that matches none of the word lists

  • 2012-01-20 · Thoughts on SOPA From New Orleans — Hank says that if it isn't stopped now, who knows whether there will in future be outlets for creative people to make a living doing cool stuff. — hedged: “who knows if” [other hedge] (00:02:01)
  • 2012-03-09 · The Future of Manned Space Exploration — Hank says the Moon's mysteries have grown since Apollo: it is seismically active, almost certainly holds frozen water, and its airless surface preserves its whole history, including meteorites. — hedged: “We're almost certain” [other hedge] (00:01:37)
  • 2012-04-12 · Introducing Lizzie Bennet — Hank calls the series honestly dangerous and an extremely exciting experiment: telling fiction this way may not work or people may not react well, though he doesn't think so. — hedged: “it's entirely possible” [other hedge] (00:02:35)
  • 2012-06-15 · Flinching in the Shower — Hank says he was at Foo Camp last weekend, as far as he can tell a gathering of cool people; his first reaction to the invitation was that it sounded hard and scary. — hedged: “as far as I can tell” [other hedge] (00:00:04)
  • 2012-07-20 · The Universe is Weird: A Song — In the chorus Hank says the universe is weird, he is kind of freaking out, and he fears we'll never understand half of what we have at hand. — hedged: “At least that's what I fear” [other hedge] (00:00:29)
  • 2012-07-20 · The Universe is Weird: A Song — Hank says he has been on a songwriting spree and will attempt to put songs in his next four videos. — hedged: “attempt” [other hedge] (00:03:32)
  • 2012-08-31 · Why The Rich Pay Lower Taxes — Hank says that above roughly $30,000 a year in income, capital gains tax is a flat 15% for everybody. — hedged: “like” [other hedge] (00:01:37)
  • 2012-08-31 · Why The Rich Pay Lower Taxes — Hank feels it is tremendously unfair that an Applebee's waitress pays a higher tax rate than a billionaire; unsure whether it's good policy, it seems like bad ethics. — hedged: “I can't help but feeling” [other hedge] (00:02:46)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — Hank says almost every apple anyone has eaten descends from wild apple trees in Kazakhstan, so apples are immigrants rather than 'American as apple pie'. — hedged: “I can almost guarantee” [other hedge] (00:00:35)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — Hank explains apples' extreme heterozygosity: a seedling's apples taste nothing like the parent's and are by default terrible, so good apples are cloned by grafting buds or limbs onto rootstock. — hedged: “appears to” [other hedge] (00:02:11)
  • 2012-12-21 · Meet the Team: The Missoula Office (And P4A and TheBrainScoop) — Hank says he is starting to feel his mission in life is to create cool things and help people create them, and is grateful to work with people, including John, who share that goal. — hedged: “I'm starting to feel like” [other hedge] (00:03:30)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank says the plan was to split the money among the charities in the top five P4A videos, but with so much raised they are talking about expanding to ten charities. — hedged: “we're talking about” [other hedge] (00:01:50)

Hedge words not recorded (1)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

  • 2012-02-10 · How Big is the Universe? — Hank says scientists aren't sure whether the universe is infinite, though current data suggests it is, so it may be both infinite and expanding; some infinites may be larger than others. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:02)

Satire (6)

a mock position (e.g. a fake moral panic) — the opposite of what is meant

  • 2012-02-24 · CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank, in mock alarm, says his tiny-animals video last week (week of 13 February 2012) fed humanity's greatest crisis: an overwhelming, dangerous amount of cute. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-02-24 · CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank, in mock alarm, claims cuteness is literally a drug, with endorphins like opium, and that viewers become desensitized while craving ever cuter things. (00:00:29)
  • 2012-02-24 · CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank, in mock alarm, wonders whether he will still love his cat, or parents their children, once they can never be as cute as Maru or internet babies. (00:01:14)
  • 2012-02-24 · CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank mock-calls on Congress to regulate internet cuteness: a board of cutologists, a cute rating system for media and a weekly quota per American. (00:01:43)
  • 2012-02-24 · CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank proposes a mock cute tax on over-quota viewers, Emergency Puppy followers, Reddit subscribers and Pinterest otter searchers, to balance the national psyche and budget. (00:02:13)
  • 2012-06-22 · Hank is Maybe Crazy — Hank sarcastically calls NutraSweet a fantastic scientific accomplishment for decreasing America's weight, then shows a graph of NutraSweet use and Americans' weight and feigns alarm. (00:00:57)

Parody (2)

imitating a genre or a person (mock documentary, mock critic)

  • 2012-06-08 · How to be More Productive...With Hank! — As mock productivity tips, Hank claims to put his pants on two legs at a time, walk a faster way, replace meals with 2,000 calories of Muscle Milk, get medical procedures in bulk and script his Amazon orders. (00:00:17)
  • 2012-10-05 · 21st Century Sherlock: A Sherlock / Doors Song — Hank sings a parody song about the modern TV Sherlock ("21st Century Sherlock"): lean and cool, humiliating others at crime scenes, beating a corpse with a riding crop. (00:00:02)

Joke (6)

a gag; not a claim

Playful (128)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank complains that channel flipping, once a joy of television, is no longer possible because of a five-second gap between pressing the button and the next channel. (00:00:27)
  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank says the cable guide is hard to reach on the monolithic remote, makes him scroll past one advertisement for every four channels, and lists channels he cannot watch. (00:00:39)
  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank objects that NBC sits at channel 712; a friend explains HD upgrades include both HD and SD NBC, and Hank asks why he would want the SD one. (00:01:03)
  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank won't dwell on TV content, since YouTube has crap too, but is frustrated by ads for Finding Bigfoot on Animal Planet, a channel meant to be about animals, not fake animals. (00:01:30)
  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Hank says that when he finally finds something to watch it is invariably in the wrong aspect ratio. (00:01:52)
  • 2012-01-06 · Kill your TV — Signing off, Hank says 'I will see you on Tuesday' sounds so weird, reflecting the new twice-weekly schedule. (00:03:29)
  • 2012-01-13 · TFiOS PARTY! — Hank goes to the bookstore for The Fault in Our Stars, a package that 'does not exist' until January 10; on January 10 he opens it, asks whether it is signed, and finds an anglerfish. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-01-13 · TFiOS PARTY! — Hank says he can't tell John this in person, although John is standing about 20 feet away, 'because you know we're brothers'. (00:00:42)
  • 2012-01-20 · Thoughts on SOPA From New Orleans — Hank notes he made a video about this about two months ago, joking that Vlogbrothers is 'extraordinarily ahead of the curve'. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-01-20 · Thoughts on SOPA From New Orleans — Hank argues SOPA isn't about the government protecting people but about protecting corporations, 'these new sorts of people'. (00:01:07)
  • 2012-01-24 · Nicest Hotel Room in the World — Hank notes the print and other things in the hotel are not nailed down, and reads its certificate of authenticity: 'Seated Woman', by Pablo Picasso. (00:01:01)
  • 2012-01-27 · In 'N' Out-Erview — Hank narrates the drive from Arizona across the river into California, with back-and-forth over where the border is, and a stop at the Jesus Christ is Lord Travel Center. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-01-27 · In 'N' Out-Erview — Hank says Nerdfighters would have pre-ordered even a horrible book, but John instead wrote an amazing book. (00:00:51)
  • 2012-02-03 · An Awful Lot of Touring — In the song Hank describes the tour bus, playing Xbox 360 and beating John, waiting stage left every night, and stopping at 17 places in 21 days on cookies and gas station food. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-02-10 · How Big is the Universe? — Hank tells John that even though John doesn't seem to find the universe appropriately interesting, he still likes him a lot. (00:03:10)
  • 2012-02-17 · World's Smallest Animals — Hank shows a dime for non-Americans: the smallest US coin, though worth more than pennies and nickels; the smallest snake is shown on a quarter. (00:01:02)
  • 2012-02-17 · World's Smallest Animals — Hank says Mr. Peebles, a tiny cat, is his favourite animal of the video because it led him to Google 'cat in a cup', where he found many cats in cups. (00:02:43)
  • 2012-02-24 · CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank concedes cuteness has its place: it helps us love our children and pets so we don't neglect (or eat) them. (00:01:14)
  • 2012-03-02 · LEGO Millenium Falcon Fun — Hank jokes that he would have no problem with Hasbro paying him to put together LEGO sets. (video description)
  • 2012-03-02 · LEGO Millenium Falcon Fun — Hank questions why the set has you build the people first, the most fun part, which he would save for last. (00:00:19)
  • 2012-03-02 · LEGO Millenium Falcon Fun — Hank observes that within each bag pieces get easier to find, then a new bag makes it hard again. (00:02:12)
  • 2012-03-09 · The Future of Manned Space Exploration — Hank's personal bucket list: visit the Grand Canyon, soak in a geothermal hot spring in Iceland, and be kissed on the cheek by Natalie Portman and Emma Stone at once. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank says millions of young people in America are in the friend zone, close to the object of their longing yet far away; he will explain the escape, though they won't manage it. (00:00:06)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank compares exiting the friend zone to escaping Earth's gravity: easy to understand, but only a handful of exceptional people have managed it. (00:00:27)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank illustrates how to know you are in the friend zone with lines like 'I like you too much to go out with you' and 'I wish I could find someone more like you'. (00:00:49)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank says he has been in the friend zone himself, and teases that John, given his romantic past, has been there even more. (00:01:26)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank describes the pattern: starting from infatuation, the friend-zoned person does everything for the other, hoping they will fall for them for being so nice and nearby. (00:01:32)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank's first door: become the person's actual friend, supporting them only when needed and supporting other friends too; mutual-respect friends often end up hooking up. (00:02:37)
  • 2012-03-16 · Exiting the FRIENDZONE — Hank's second door: leave; years later the person may ask why you stopped hanging out, and maybe rethink their view of the stronger person you have become. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:04)
  • 2012-03-24 · Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — Hank says he and Michael Aranda will play some Hunger Games in honor of the release of The Hunger Games: the first ever Hank and Michael Hunger Game. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-03-24 · Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — Hank explains the three hunger parts: they haven't eaten all day, they play Hungry Hungry Hippos, and they bake cookies with a different filling each in a good and a bad pile; the loser eats from the bad pile. (00:00:22)
  • 2012-03-24 · Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — Hank says people ask why he doesn't like olives, and he answers that they taste like poison. (00:01:40)
  • 2012-03-24 · Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — The cookies eaten in the game include good ones (Twix; a chocolate chip and Gushers cookie rated 'A plus') and bad ones (mustard, Pringles, Easy Cheese, pickle, beef jerky, tuna, potted meat, egg, barbecued turkey). (00:02:04)
  • 2012-03-24 · Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — Hank says that after the cookies they are no longer hungry but the opposite: he'd like to take food out of his body. (00:03:33)
  • 2012-03-24 · Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — Hank thanks viewers for watching 'the first annual Hunger Games'; asked if it is annual, he says at his house, to Michael's dismay. (00:03:43)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — When Hank had a landline, nerdfighters who phoned him worried that his number was publicly listed, and he had to explain that that is what a phone book is. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-03-30 · Springtime Hunger Games Zit Bully Walk — Hank has a gigantic weird zit on his face, mostly hidden by his glasses: 'my nose has a nose now'. (00:00:58)
  • 2012-04-06 · Can I be Space President? — Hank proposes that his title at 'Vlogbrothers Enterprises' become 'Hank Green, President of Space, Nerdfighteria' and asks John whether he can be president of space. (00:01:01)
  • 2012-04-06 · Can I be Space President? — At Northrop Grumman the visitors were constantly monitored and followed everywhere, even to the bathroom, which Hank jokes kept him from humping anything. (00:01:23)
  • 2012-04-12 · Introducing Lizzie Bennet — On a walk down to the creek ('crick', as they say in Montana) to find a place to film, Hank accidentally finds a geocache with some gross stuff in it. (00:00:10)
  • 2012-04-12 · Introducing Lizzie Bennet — Hank calls Pride and Prejudice the best story of all time, a wonderful romance with evolving characters; he would never have cared without Katherine, a huge fan and basically a scholar. (00:01:09)
  • 2012-04-12 · Introducing Lizzie Bennet — Back home from a lovely dinner party, Hank shows a gift from a friend and sings 'Troy and Abed in the Morning'. (00:03:22)
  • 2012-04-13 · This is How You Load a Dishwasher - A Song — Hank says The Oatmeal's Matthew Inman posted a comic on getting Facebook likes that suggests making a sing-along video on how to load a dishwasher, so he makes one. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-04-13 · This is How You Load a Dishwasher - A Song — In the song Hank puts cutlery in the basket facing down so his hands never touch the parts that go in mouths, while others face it up so the water jets clean it better. (00:00:26)
  • 2012-04-13 · This is How You Load a Dishwasher - A Song — The song's tips: check items are dishwasher-safe, scrape off caked-on food, put heavy things at the bottom and light ones on top, and fill the machine to save water and energy. (00:00:53)
  • 2012-04-13 · This is How You Load a Dishwasher - A Song — Hank says the Sun's diameter is more than 400 times the Moon's and it is 400 times farther from Earth, so both look about the same size, which is just a coincidence. (00:01:37)
  • 2012-04-13 · This is How You Load a Dishwasher - A Song — Hank wears a Hank Green shirt, one of his favourite designs, and says it is on sale for $5 off at DFTBA.com; he also shows a Hank Green drawing he has had since about 2008 but never hung up. (00:02:16)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — Hank thanks John for his well-received video answering questions on sex and relationships; out of sibling rivalry he answers Facebook and Twitter questions on adulthood and growing up. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — Asked what doing taxes is like, Hank says paying your fair share for defense, education and health care for old people sounds reasonable, but the process is inexplicably hard and painful. (00:00:19)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — Hank says job applications are awful and suggests someone go into human resources and revolutionise hiring, which he calls pathetic and bad. (00:01:00)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — For a social life on a budget Hank recommends fun, silly parties at home, like watching Harry Potter or writing fake wills, and never buying alcohol at bars. (00:01:25)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — On getting past insecurities, Hank says that if you fail he will like you more, so viewers should start failing now. (00:01:46)
  • 2012-04-20 · Thoughts on Growing up — Hank says married people can still hang out with friends of the opposite sex, but should stop if, alone together, they feel a mutual urge to kiss. (00:02:24)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Hank says he is a big fan of Charlie McDonnell and his YouTube show charlieissocoollike, who is now sleeping at his house, so he asks Charlie questions he wrote the night before. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Hank recalls that after Brotherhood 2.0 ended he did not know what to do with his time. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-05-04 · Screaming Through VidCon — Hank is in Anaheim at the Anaheim Convention Center planning VidCon, on top of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, 2D Glasses, SciShow, Crash Course and DFTBA Records. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-05-04 · Screaming Through VidCon — Hank announces he will tour the place where VidCon will be held in June by screaming (the title bit). (00:00:00)
  • 2012-05-25 · The Subway Where I Used To Go (Somebody That I Used To Know / Gotye Parody) — In a parody song Hank 'breaks up' with Subway (kind sandwich artists, crumbling bread) for Jimmy John's, whose delivery is frighteningly fast and website stores his favourites. (00:00:11)
  • 2012-06-01 · Adorable Squirrel and Table Topics — Asked about a party if money were no object, Hank says he would throw VidCon. (00:01:55)
  • 2012-06-08 · How to be More Productive...With Hank! — Dropping the bit, Hank says he does not like Muscle Milk; Michael drinks it. (00:01:53)
  • 2012-06-15 · Flinching in the Shower — Hank says hot water coming out of the wall is a wonderful convenience that we should be thankful for every day. (00:01:53)
  • 2012-06-22 · Hank is Maybe Crazy — After acting out a skit, Hank says he dreamed last night of a Vlogbrothers video idea: a man who can put his ear to the ground and hear everybody. (00:00:18)
  • 2012-06-22 · Hank is Maybe Crazy — Hank shows a shirt from Ningmaster Tom that mixes a video-game code with quark names, and an art-history video-game nerd shirt. (00:01:37)
  • 2012-06-22 · Hank is Maybe Crazy — Hank says his new tripods are from Ravelli, which didn't pay him to say so, since no one ever pays him to say anything; he jokes about charging $5 per message. (00:01:58)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank says he did make a video, and that the punishment ideas viewers suggested for him on John's last video could easily apply to John, who has at least one outstanding punishment. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank calls one suggestion, driving to Canada with only Mountain Dew, bread, peanut butter and $14, very good; it might be funny enough to do anyway, but he doesn't want to be blacklisted. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:22)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank mentions an idea for John's punishment: a livestream of John watching the Twilight movies, 'a full day of torture'. (00:00:22)
  • 2012-06-29 · Online Video about Online Video — Hank calls 'John and Sarah play Wii Tennis' the most important launch at VidCon and tells viewers to watch it on HankGames. (00:03:46)
  • 2012-07-06 · The Higgs Boson — Hank says the field makes everything we love possible, from fireworks to dolphins to the ocean to your boyfriend, across a universe with no edge. (00:03:21)
  • 2012-07-13 · An Army of Mindless Drones — Hank calls his auto-ignition point a great example of an uninteresting way to talk about a book, but says he has to be himself. (00:00:29)
  • 2012-07-13 · An Army of Mindless Drones — Hank contrasts how we see others' customs as weird (bones in noses) with our own, such as circumcising baby boys, which feels totally normal. (00:01:27)
  • 2012-07-20 · The Universe is Weird: A Song — Hank sings that driving in a van he told John 'dude, no edge': the universe has no center and no edge and doesn't exist in any way we can conceive. (00:01:19)
  • 2012-07-27 · Tumblr: The Musical — Hank says he wanted to make a complicated, epic video but has no time, and not because he is busy; the song that follows blames Tumblr. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-07-27 · Tumblr: The Musical — In the song Hank portrays Tumblr as a compulsive, dopamine-chasing scroll that keeps him glued to his screen, full of cats, memes, fandoms and GIFs. (00:00:07)
  • 2012-07-27 · Tumblr: The Musical — The song ends with the claim that everyone can agree Tumblr is the place for him. (00:01:36)
  • 2012-07-27 · Tumblr: The Musical — Hank thanks John for talking about his buffness; now everyone wants to see him shirtless, which he says would be very unimpressive. (00:03:17)
  • 2012-07-27 · Tumblr: The Musical — Hank calls Tumblr a weird but very fun place and urges viewers not to spend their whole lives there but to go do other, even outside, things. (00:03:34)
  • 2012-08-03 · I Don't Understand My Life — Without people watching and valuing it, shot put would just be a guy in a field throwing a rock, a crazy person. (00:01:02)
  • 2012-08-04 · EXTRA! Thoughts from Tour — Hank says he ate 'the best sandwich ever' in Seattle (Paseo's, per the description). (00:00:35)
  • 2012-08-04 · EXTRA! Thoughts from Tour — Joe DeGeorge made the E.T. cornfield noise before a show, and Hank listened to Joe and Neil Cicierega interpret the E.T. theme. (00:01:29)
  • 2012-08-10 · I Don't Have a Favorite Pony — In the song Hank says something is happening on the internet that he doesn't get, with thousands of fans making Tumblrs, fanfics and bulletin boards, and that all that excitement is great. (00:00:06)
  • 2012-08-10 · I Don't Have a Favorite Pony — The second verse contradicts the chorus by praising each pony: Rainbow Dash's hair, Applejack's strength, Fluttershy, Rarity's beauty, Pinkie Pie's excitement and Twilight's nerdiness. (00:01:08)
  • 2012-08-10 · I Don't Have a Favorite Pony — Hank sings that his goal is to make the planet better, but it is equally probable he spent six hours watching a cartoon made for little girls instead; real-world battles are complex, Equestria simpler. — hedged: “equally probable” [other hedge] (00:01:38)
  • 2012-08-17 · Open Letter to the Wizards — In song, Hank says the wizarding world always seemed more beautiful than ours, but after some searching he worries it isn't what we had learned. (00:00:44)
  • 2012-08-17 · Open Letter to the Wizards — The song says wizards have little industry, working at schools or the Ministry, let goblins control their currency and economy, and sell wands for only 7 Galleons. (00:01:14)
  • 2012-08-17 · Open Letter to the Wizards — Hank asks why wizards, who can put a stopper in death, make new hands, regrow bones and have a 150-year-old Dumbledore, don't help when our friends and family die. (00:01:48)
  • 2012-08-17 · Open Letter to the Wizards — The song faults the wizards' isolationism, not calling for help with the Dark Lord at the door, and their known racists in politics and slaves making their food. (00:02:07)
  • 2012-08-17 · Open Letter to the Wizards — Hank concludes the wizarding world isn't as nice as it appears and he would rather deal with the problems we have here. — hedged: “I think I'd rather” [opinion marker] (00:02:30)
  • 2012-08-24 · Happy Birthday John Green! — Hank says they now have a database of 5,000 Nerdfighters to photo-mosaic into anything, such as Mario, a TARDIS, John Green or Matt Damon, whom he loves. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-08-24 · Happy Birthday John Green! — For election time Hank brings back the Chewie-Solo 2012 shirts, still his favourite ticket, though he jokingly says not to write it in but vote for a real candidate. (00:02:41)
  • 2012-08-27 · Six Reasons Neil Armstrong was a BADASS — Rather than Armstrong's symbolism, Hank wants to show he was 'pretty freakin' badass' through the six most amazing things he did. (00:00:12)
  • 2012-08-27 · Six Reasons Neil Armstrong was a BADASS — After the LLRV crash Armstrong gave a short press conference and went back to work, telling people surprised to see him that he had paperwork to do. (00:02:23)
  • 2012-08-27 · Six Reasons Neil Armstrong was a BADASS — Armstrong threatened to sue his barber of 20 years for selling his hair to a celebrity hair collector; unable to get it back, the barber gave the $3,000 to charity. (00:02:38)
  • 2012-09-07 · Can You Really Light a Fart? — Hank answers the top questions asked to Google that begin with 'Can you really…'. (00:00:31)
  • 2012-09-07 · Can You Really Light a Fart? — Hank finds it disappointing that people ask about selling their soul; as far as he knows, ownership of a soul cannot be transferred. — hedged: “as far as I know” [other hedge] (00:00:38)
  • 2012-09-07 · Can You Really Light a Fart? — Hank claims every adult cow outweighs every adult human by at least a thousand pounds, then concedes that miniature cows exist. (00:01:20)
  • 2012-09-07 · Can You Really Light a Fart? — Hank says you cannot really curve a bullet, jokes that only Angelina Jolie can, and calls that film terrible though he saw it in theatres. (00:01:32)
  • 2012-09-07 · Can You Really Light a Fart? — Hank says you will not get a free iPad by taking an online survey. (00:02:49)
  • 2012-09-14 · 1000 VIDEOS!!! — Hank says they spent much of that time embarrassing themselves or doing nasty things to themselves, which he does not regret at all. (00:01:23)
  • 2012-09-14 · 1000 VIDEOS!!! — Hank lists his songs about quarks, ponies, Harry Potter and Helen Hunt, notes Helen Hunt tweeted him about hers, and recalls inventing 2D glasses and turning Pride and Prejudice into a video blog. (00:01:36)
  • 2012-09-14 · 1000 VIDEOS!!! — Hank recalls going on tour, beating a Super Mario Bros. game with Katherine, and the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers winning the FA Cup. (00:01:48)
  • 2012-09-28 · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana — At dinner on their hotel deck, someone on the deck above spilled beer through the slats onto them and their kielbasa; Hank says no one was to blame but he still felt mad. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-09-28 · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana — Hank: punishing murderers more than attempted murderers rewards them for being bad at what they wanted to do; success is just a roll of the dice. (00:01:27)
  • 2012-09-28 · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana — Hank recalls a Ferris wheel ride in Missoula that scared them a third of the way up, calling it Montana-sized, not "the Eye of London" (the London Eye). (00:01:56)
  • 2012-09-28 · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana — Hank tells John he has also chosen a punishment, made gluten-free to accommodate his "terrible excuse for colon". (00:03:08)
  • 2012-09-28 · THE EYE OF LONDON: Thoughts from Northern Montana — Hank's Season 5 recap of The Guild will go live on Geek & Sundry (on Monday, per the description); he talks faster in it than ever before. (00:03:38)
  • 2012-10-05 · 21st Century Sherlock: A Sherlock / Doors Song — Hank sings that he is waiting impatiently to watch more; the description says he is kinda devastated Season 3 of Sherlock is so far away. — hedged: “kinda” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
  • 2012-10-19 · Revolutionizing Education...With Weirdos — Hank playfully offers something he found in the bathroom, which 'completely made the rolly thing obsolete', as proof that even toilet-paper making still has room for innovation. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:29)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — Hank writes that his apple video turned out much less excellent than an average CGP Grey video, so he concedes Grey probably can't make one a week without killing himself, but still thinks he should try because he loves his work. (video description)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — In the description Hank writes that when he told Grey to make videos more often, Grey said it is really hard and told him to try; he did, found it extremely hard, and jokes he hasn't stood up in 'like two days'. (video description)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — Hank says apples feature heavily in Greek myths, especially about beauty and sexuality, and throwing an apple at a young lady was a way of saying you fancied her. (00:01:20)
  • 2012-10-26 · Apples! CGP Grey Style — Hank says Chapman planted seeds rather than grafts, producing terrible-tasting apples nobody minded, since apples were mashed and fermented into hard cider, water being distrusted for dysentery. (00:02:32)
  • 2012-11-02 · Disney Buys Star Wars and DFTVA! — Hank says America is about to pick its president; for non-Americans he made a separate video, joking that Americans who watch it are bad people. (00:01:12)
  • 2012-11-05 · Spicy Summer Camp Story — The story happened when Hank was a counselor, not a camper, at a summer camp; no campers were involved, and it took place in the kitchen with about twelve other people. (00:00:23)
  • 2012-11-05 · Spicy Summer Camp Story — At the time Hank was a 'huge spice wuss' who disliked spicy food and salsa chunks; his favourite was a chip that had soaked in the salsa for a long time. (00:01:20)
  • 2012-11-05 · Spicy Summer Camp Story — Hank scooped up and ate a salsa-soaked chip that, unknown to him, a fellow counselor had doused in a novelty hot sauce whose label says to use one or two drops at a time. (00:01:54)
  • 2012-11-05 · Spicy Summer Camp Story — In agony ('I almost died'), Hank put his face in a bowl of milk, pressed it against things in the walk-in refrigerator, fell asleep with ice on his lips, and woke still burning. (00:02:55)
  • 2012-11-05 · Spicy Summer Camp Story — Hank says election time is the one time a year when it is okay to be a little bit obnoxious about getting people to vote. (00:03:46)
  • 2012-11-09 · The Stadium of Representatives: The End of B20 Week :-( — Hank admits he is jealous of John's Volt, jokes he hasn't visited Indianapolis enough because John had no Volt, and says he'll see John soon. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-11-09 · The Stadium of Representatives: The End of B20 Week :-( — Hank says the founders split between equal representation per state and representation by population, and compromised: a Senate equal for every state and a House apportioned by population. (00:00:29)
  • 2012-11-09 · The Stadium of Representatives: The End of B20 Week :-( — Hank remembers 435 with the phrase 'need for speed' (four, three, five letters), the video game he was playing in 1996 when he took civics. (00:01:27)
  • 2012-11-23 · Black Friday: An Accident of History — The day after Thanksgiving, traditionally in Hank's house, is a day they don't leave the house, because Black Friday terrifies him. (00:00:06)
  • 2012-11-23 · Black Friday: An Accident of History — Until the 1860s states held Thanksgiving on different days, until Lincoln declared a national day; after the Civil War reunion it became the national holiday, the fourth Thursday in November. (00:00:33)
  • 2012-11-30 · VidCon 2013! — Filming from a bathroom at a talent agency, Hank says he is there for a VidCon meeting, not as talent, and jokes about its knitted wallpaper and mouthwash. (00:00:45)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank offers a holiday 'contemplation': if two sets of identical twins married, would their kids be siblings or cousins? (00:00:00)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank mentions colouring in 'nude Oods', something 'you decided' at 4 a.m. on December 18th would be a good use of time, and says his 300 pieces of hanklerfish art are almost done. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank says he has become extremely good at drawing hanklerfish, his lesson of the year being that doing something 10,000 times makes you pretty good at it. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-12-28 · Nood Ood, Drums, Donuts, Fish, the USDA, P4A and SLEDDING! — Hank says the donuts they had contain, according to the USDA, 45% of his daily allowed saturated fat. (00:01:19)

Other voices

44 statements · sincere 68% · playful 30% · other bits 2% · hedged or unsure 11%

Sincere but hedged (5)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 2 · opinion marker 3.

Epistemic doubt (2)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Charlie McDonnell: Charlie says he edited much more than he wrote this past week; for an effects-heavy video like Forever Yours writing and editing took about equal time, otherwise writing takes longer. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:32)
  • 2012-09-18 · Existential Airport Anxiety — David Foster Wallace (quoted): John reads Wallace's The Pale King: dullness may hurt because it fails to distract us from a deeper, ambient pain, behind the 'terror of silence' of screens everywhere. — hedged: “Maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:29)

Opinion marker (3)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

  • 2012-06-12 · Chris Colfer, John Green, Mob Wives, and Jeffrey Eugenides: Thoughts from Places Book Expo — M. T. Anderson: M. T. Anderson, whom John says always speaks in full and beautiful sentences, says criticizing a book character's intelligence is a huge insult to teen intellectuals already put down by peers. — hedged: “I always feel like” [opinion marker] (00:01:27)
  • 2012-08-13 · John and Rainn Wilson Talk Romance — Rainn Wilson: Rainn advises someone just dumped to feel the feelings first: a breakup is the death of a relationship, with a grieving process that must be fully processed. — hedged: “I think that” [opinion marker] (00:00:24)
  • 2012-11-30 · VidCon 2013! — a guest: An opening montage of VidCon footage has unnamed voices saying the convention is almost three times larger than last year (2011) and praising its community and creators. — hedged: “I believe” [opinion marker] (00:00:00)

Fiction (1)

a story or novel read aloud; the words belong to characters

  • 2012-01-17 · Thoughts from Places: The Tour — Hank Sock (character): Before the show the brothers meet Hank Sock, who says he is backstage, a little nervous, and can see a lot of people through the crack in the curtain. (00:01:01)

Playful (13)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

  • 2012-01-27 · In 'N' Out-Erview — both: The brothers banter about the tour shows: a show line 'my greatest accomplishment is being your brother' is called a favourite joke, and one brother gets shocked almost every night instead of the other (speakers unclear). (00:01:27)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Charlie McDonnell: Asked the last thing he screamed at, Charlie says he rarely screams; bungee jumping was mostly silent, and he screamed only because he felt he needed to. (00:00:27)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Charlie McDonnell: Asked which word he would eliminate from English, Charlie picks 'moist'. (00:01:15)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Charlie McDonnell: Asked whether he would kill baby Hitler, Charlie wonders why Hank asks after years of the Evil Baby Orphanage; told the orphanage is not an option, he says he would kill the baby. (00:01:35)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Charlie McDonnell: Offered Pinkie Pie on his bicep or DFTBA inside his lip, Charlie says he wants no tattoos: an hour of extreme pain for something no one will see. (00:02:05)
  • 2012-04-27 · Hank Talks to Charlie McDonnell — Charlie McDonnell: Charlie says he spends more time making videos than playing video games, but only just; he and Hank end the interview to go play video games. (00:03:08)
  • 2012-05-29 · Nerds at the Beach: A REUNION VIDEO! — both: The brothers open with their reunion-video gag (each 'here in beautiful Florida', John: 'What? It's a reunion video!'); John says it never gets old, though viewers may disagree. (00:00:00)
  • 2012-05-29 · Nerds at the Beach: A REUNION VIDEO! — both: Hank is reading Endymion at the beach; John calls him a nerd. (00:00:57)
  • 2012-05-29 · Nerds at the Beach: A REUNION VIDEO! — both: Hank likens John's inner tube to the internet ('we just all want bigger tubes'); John calls it the worst of the tortured metaphors he draws in Thoughts from Places videos. (00:01:17)
  • 2012-08-03 · I Don't Understand My Life — Kimya Dawson: In a cameo, Kimya Dawson answers that she doesn't understand her life either. (00:00:26)
  • 2012-08-13 · John and Rainn Wilson Talk Romance — Rainn Wilson: Rainn tells of having his scrotum drained for a hydrocele: one side swelled far larger, a syringe took about eight ounces, it refilled, and surgery removed a membrane. (00:01:20)
  • 2012-10-19 · Revolutionizing Education...With Weirdos — Destin Sandlin: Destin shows Hank a spring that is stretched and wadded up and then, once heated, recovers its shape ('It's alive!'). (00:02:14)
  • 2012-11-06 · Terrible at Frenching: My Spicy Summer Camp Story — Sarah Urist Green: The Yeti says that is why she has never wanted to live at any time but now. (00:01:29)