Register 2020: hedges and bits

Statements from 2020 that are not plain sincere assertions: sincere claims the speaker hedged or marked as uncertain (with the hedge words quoted), and statements made as a bit. Plain sincere, unhedged statements are on the video pages. Back to the overview.

John

1141 statements · sincere 91% · playful 9% · other bits 0% · hedged or unsure 6%

Sincere but hedged (56)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 32 · wish / hope 3 · opinion marker 2 · other hedge 6 · hedge words not recorded 13.

Epistemic doubt (32)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

2020-01-07 · Endings · Beginnings — John's most important 2020 goal is to finish raising the money, though maybe 2020 isn't realistic for it. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:17)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — John says that without that gift he might not have written Turtles All the Way Down. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — John concludes that gift-giving is irrational and inefficient, but gifts can signal goodwill, ease loneliness and occasionally make life better; if unused gift cards are the cost, it might be worth it. — hedged: “I think it might” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:11)
2020-01-28 · Looking Away (Again) — At the hospital John saw a mother with a young child in the pediatric ward; he thinks the child was probably dying. — hedged: “I think the child was probably dying” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-01-28 · Looking Away (Again) — John says he was looking at a child who very possibly wouldn't be dying had he understood the problem's scope earlier and given more to those solving it, which is part of why he looked away again. — hedged: “very possibly” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:50)
2020-02-04 · practice — Having been asked the question often himself, John suspects Bradbury was less offering good advice than making the question go away in a clever, gentle way. — hedged: “I suspect” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2020-02-11 · 1,100 Days: A Mental and Physical Health Update — John's mental health is probably the best it's ever been: still mentally ill and on daily medication, but his rolling 90-day average is much better than 5, 10 or 15 years ago. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-02-25 · A weird YouTube thing? — John suspects the real reason for the astonishingly consistent like-to-view ratio is that their audience is really consistent. — hedged: “I suspect” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:55)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — John says they are going on tour for Hank's book in July, maybe. — hedged: “Maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:30)
2020-04-07 · I am an artist. — For viewers who can't afford a book, John says local libraries may have You Are an Artist free, including e-book and audiobook versions. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:57)
2020-05-19 · Didn't Make Sense Not to Live for Fun — John says the negatives in All Star's 'didn't make sense not to live for fun' seem meant to cancel out; the plain version doesn't fit the meter, but he thinks something else may be going on. — hedged: “I think there might be” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:26)
2020-05-19 · Didn't Make Sense Not to Live for Fun — John thinks All Star might be a song about celebrity by people who didn't not want fame, which isn't quite wanting it; if so, its lyric is a great double negative. — hedged: “I think All Star might be” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)
2020-06-02 · --- — John says people who think racism is over or minor may feel so because white people's context for understanding racism is often hugely inadequate: education, benefiting from injustice, and information feeds. — hedged: “might be” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-06-30 · i like it — John kept thinking of the old line often attributed, probably incorrectly, to Pope John Paul II: of all the unimportant things, football is the most important. — hedged: “probably incorrectly” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:40)
2020-08-11 · never get bored — John also reread E. Lockhart's The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, maybe his favorite boarding school novel ever. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:34)
2020-08-18 · what's wrong with taking the back streets? — Ten trillion seconds ago nobody was king of France because our species probably didn't exist yet. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — John says copies ordered from outside the US or Canada, even the American English edition, will probably not be signed, because international printing and shipping systems don't allow it. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:56)
2020-09-08 · That's the way. — John suggests that might be why he is so enthralled with AFC Wimbledon, the third-tier English football team 'we' sponsor. — hedged: “I think that might be why” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-09-22 · the world is gonna roll me — John finds a lot of consolation outside but isn't sure why; maybe because nature still proceeds apace while so much else doesn't. — hedged: “Maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:52)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — On 5 October 2020, John predicts that US newly diagnosed COVID cases the day before upload were higher than a week earlier, probably by around 10 to 12%. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — On 5 October 2020, from scheduled events, John suspects the upcoming presidential debate is being much discussed in the viewers' present. — hedged: “I suspect” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — John suspects that news, very big to him, will not feel big to viewers eight days later because news cycles are moving much faster. — hedged: “I suspect” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:56)
2020-10-15 · Civilization and the Lies We Love — In the last six months this became probably the most famous Margaret Mead quote, though there's no evidence she said it; it has been shared millions of times, once with 'I fact-checked and it's legit'. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-10-15 · Civilization and the Lies We Love — The whole story is a lie, but John thinks maybe it is so seductive because at its core there is something true. — hedged: “I think maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:26)
2020-10-20 · How to Sign Your Name 150,000 Times — John thinks maybe he signs simply because he enjoys it, or something about it. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:25)
2020-10-20 · How to Sign Your Name 150,000 Times — John now understands the author probably wasn't as wealthy as he imagined and faced pressure to sell new books, but says it's still not that hard to sign your name. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:24)
2020-10-20 · How to Sign Your Name 150,000 Times — John says it is probably no coincidence that his first memory of authors was not getting an autograph, and now he signs his name a lot. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:24)
2020-10-20 · How to Sign Your Name 150,000 Times — John says that at least signing is a small thing that may brighten some people’s days. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:53)
2020-10-27 · The time I met Joe Biden — John flew to somewhere like St. Louis for the Q&A and was editing a Crash Course script backstage when someone asked if he'd like to meet Vice President Biden. — hedged: “I don't know, somewhere like” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2020-12-31 · Auld Lang Syne: The Anthropocene Reviewed — At least three of the verses were probably Burns's own, though he later said he took the song down from an old man. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:31)
2020-12-31 · Auld Lang Syne: The Anthropocene Reviewed — Burns died at only 37 of a heart condition, possibly worsened by his drinking. — hedged: “possibly” [epistemic doubt] (00:07:36)
2020-12-31 · Auld Lang Syne: The Anthropocene Reviewed — We might never know why we are here, but we can still proclaim in hope that we are here. — hedged: “We might never know” [epistemic doubt] (00:19:39)

Wish / hope (3)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — The description says The Anthropocene Reviewed book is available for preorder and comes out, hopefully, on May 18th. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (video description)
2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — The Anthropocene Reviewed book comes out on May 18th, 2021, hopefully. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:00:50)
2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — Thanks to the monthly donors, at current donation levels Partners In Health has the money to break ground on the Maternal Center of Excellence next spring (2021), hopefully. — hedged: “hopefully barring unforeseen catastrophes” [wish / hope] (00:02:55)

Opinion marker (2)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

2020-03-31 · Let's take a walk. — In a comment John says he thinks he got the Annie Dillard quote wrong. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (creator comment)
2020-09-08 · That's the way. — In a comment John says he started following Wimbledon's story in 2009-2010, as they made their way back to the Football League, and thinks he first heard of them on YouTube. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (creator comment)

Other hedge (6)

a hedge that matches none of the word lists

2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — Something like three billion dollars in gift cards goes unspent every year in the United States, John says. — hedged: “Something like” [other hedge] (00:00:00)
2020-02-18 · wintry mix — John says wintry mix has no such tales to tell, and it's hard to imagine even Bentley being supremely happy about it. — hedged: “at least so far as I'm aware” [other hedge] (00:01:43)
2020-07-21 · Somebody Once Asked . . . — John has heard that health workers in PPE and the smell of chlorine can trigger people with PTSD after surviving the Ebola crisis. — hedged: “I've heard that” [other hedge] (00:02:26)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — Only about five Rax restaurants are left in America, but many of the buildings remain, and John can tell when a restaurant used to be a Rax. — hedged: “like” [other hedge] (00:00:52)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — On 5 October 2020, with some data but not enough, John guesses AFC Wimbledon might eke out a draw against Swindon Town based on current form. — speculative: “a guess” [other hedge] (00:01:27)
2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — Barring unforeseen catastrophes, there should be some new episodes of The Anthropocene Reviewed next year (2021). — hedged: “barring unforeseen catastrophes” [other hedge] (00:00:45)

Hedge words not recorded (13)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

2020-02-25 · A weird YouTube thing? — Asked whether other Complexly channels will ask for likes, John says maybe if the effect is huge, but asking for likes pulls learners out of the learning experience. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-08-18 · what's wrong with taking the back streets? — In a comment John says he thinks he will then make an artwork with the death count since 8/16, then another, and so on until it is over. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-08-25 · Somebody once told me… — In a comment John guesses SpaceX might send a rocket to Mars in 2026, assuming it is still solvent and growing, and notes even SpaceX has stopped saying 2022. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — In a comment John says the book can not yet be pre-ordered on Bookshop.org, which awaits a third-party data feed, and hopes it will be possible within a couple of days. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — In a comment John thinks the book will be available in Brazil and says he really hopes his Brazilian publisher Intrinseca will publish it. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-09-29 · How 'bout Yours? — In a channel comment John says the poem acknowledges collective effort, which made the bridge and village; maybe collective effort must work around the essential unshareability of each consciousness. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:00:00)
2020-09-29 · How 'bout Yours? — John says this week (week of 28 September 2020) the weather is worse and he is better, but he doesn't know why; these days he barely knows how he is, let alone why. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:31)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — John says we'll be left wondering whether algorithms wanting us scared, to capture and monetize our attention, came before or after our political, social and economic instability. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:55)
2020-10-20 · How to Sign Your Name 150,000 Times — John wonders whether all the signing is just a publicity stunt: where is the line between sharing your work and commodifying yourself or your audience? — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:01:25)
2020-12-01 · The Utah Monolith, What It Means, Why It Matters, and Whether It's Aliens — In a comment, John says the Romanian monolith seems likely a copycat: its steel was not buffed to a mirror finish and it had not been hidden for years, though he'd love to be wrong. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-12-01 · The Utah Monolith, What It Means, Why It Matters, and Whether It's Aliens — John speculates on why it disappeared: maybe the makers feared the legal and ethical ramifications of art made without permission on public land, maybe they made it for themselves, maybe aliens. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:03:28)
2020-12-15 · America's Capital of Dead Vice Presidents — In a channel comment John says former vice president Dan Quayle, who lives in Arizona but has deep roots in Indianapolis, could end up buried at Crown Hill. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)
2020-12-15 · America's Capital of Dead Vice Presidents — In a channel comment John says Mike Pence will probably be buried in Columbus, where he is from, rather than at Crown Hill. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (creator comment)

Joke (4)

a gag; not a claim

2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — Asked about writing poetry, the brothers joke that they write poetry all the time, besides SciShow Tangents, and podcasts like The Anthropocene Reviewed. (00:01:30)
2020-05-19 · Didn't Make Sense Not to Live for Fun — John jokes that negative concord would be a pretty good tagline for the social internet. (00:00:00)
2020-05-19 · Didn't Make Sense Not to Live for Fun — John says he won't argue that All Star is a work of rock opera genius, then adds that it obviously is. (00:02:55)
2020-07-21 · Somebody Once Asked . . . — Asked what owls are plotting, John says he will welcome owl overlords and be excited when they take over because they dislike how we have handled all this. (00:00:58)

Playful (101)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

2020-01-07 · Endings · Beginnings — John notes that every new beginning leads to some other beginning's end, quoting Semisonic by way of the Stoic philosopher Seneca. (00:01:46)
2020-01-10 · The Thing I would Like to End — John cuts in: Hank made a whole video about his book without naming it, A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor, out July 7 and available for pre-order now. (00:03:40)
2020-01-14 · Foolish · Beautiful — John jokes that since he left Twitter Liverpool have not lost a Premier League game, so why would he go back. (00:03:19)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — John says giving cash would leave everyone better off but seems thoughtless, so instead an imagined Aunt Agatha gives an Outback Steakhouse gift card every Christmas. (00:00:00)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — John calls the packaging line 'people who cannot move the blanket cannot use the blanket' one of the most beautiful sentences he has ever encountered. (00:02:12)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — John loves the blanket so much he doesn't want a brand deal, which would sully their innocent relationship. (00:02:42)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — John asks viewers not to tell him any reasons weighted blankets are terrible, since the blanket is easing his way through this vale of tears. (00:03:11)
2020-01-21 · Gifts That Changed My Life — In a P.S., John tells Hank he is getting a weighted blanket for his birthday. (00:03:40)
2020-02-04 · practice — John says lots of people can write 52 bad short stories in a row; he could, as readers of his zombie 'cornpocalypse' stories can attest. (00:00:30)
2020-02-04 · practice — John says he is not naturally disciplined or organized, as his very messy car shows: his friend Hasan expects to find a rat with a handbag in the passenger seat. (00:01:58)
2020-02-25 · A weird YouTube thing? — John has no idea what YouTube's algorithm values now but suspects it isn't as simple as showing a video to 10 people per like; maybe it is and he's cracked the code. — hedged: “I rather suspect” [other hedge] (00:01:27)
2020-03-03 · Consciously Experiencing Human Dignity — John calls himself a vast paramecium of worry that swallows any nearby worry to grow ever larger, but says he doesn't want to talk about that today. (00:00:00)
2020-03-03 · Consciously Experiencing Human Dignity — John signs off hoping he didn't go over four minutes: it's always a worry. (00:03:24)
2020-03-06 · I Did Not Get Leprosy! — In a comment John says that whenever he thinks humans are the best species he learns something like armadillos delaying pregnancies by up to two years. (creator comment)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — John has been singing a version of a Lizzo song in his head with the lyrics 'the world doesn't need your coronavirus hot take'. (00:00:00)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — The other brother wants only one thing: for there not to be a Cats 2. (00:00:25)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — John recently went to their childhood home; asked if the tree is bigger, he jokes it is the biggest tree in the world. (00:00:50)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — John says either he or Hank would be lucky to be the Brontë sisters' ne'er-do-well brother Branwell. (00:02:45)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — The brothers joke that Google pronounces the Brontë name correctly, as it was probably pronounced, while they say it as it is spelled. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:05)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — Asked about TikToks about them, John has seen only one, which Sarah sent him today; he jokes he gets his TikTok news from The New York Times. (00:03:18)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — John says he probably won't see any TikToks about himself unless they are reported in The New York Times, where he gets his TikTok news. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:36)
2020-03-24 · Mental Health Tips from People Who've Been There — John keeps a gratitude journal, and jokes that about 80% of its ink goes to baths. (00:02:26)
2020-03-24 · Mental Health Tips from People Who've Been There — Things John can still enjoy include rewatching Penguins of Madagascar, which he calls the greatest achievement in film history, reading, and his one daily Diet Dr Pepper. (00:02:55)
2020-04-14 · books that help — John celebrates with champagne that Sarah's book You Are an Artist comes out today, wondering if he can drink champagne on YouTube without being demonetized. (00:00:00)
2020-04-14 · books that help — Doing the book's assignment from artist Nina Katchadourian, John sorts book spines into portraits: one of Sarah, and a self-portrait about the current historical moment. (00:00:13)
2020-04-14 · books that help — John says he dressed up to feel like a person. (00:00:36)
2020-04-14 · books that help — Many books feel sad now: a scene in a crowded McDonald's makes John yearn for its halcyon days; I Am Still Alive has none of that. (00:02:33)
2020-04-21 · hey now — John recommends everything about the Singamajig wiki. (00:01:06)
2020-04-21 · hey now — John recalls Hank once very seriously proposing a 478-part video series analysing each of the 478 shots in the All Star music video. (00:01:27)
2020-04-28 · get your game on — John says 'in the meantime' is a real winner for describing right now: we are living in the meantime. (00:00:29)
2020-04-28 · get your game on — John says Marbula One taught him how fandom works: he picked the Green Ducks for their shared name, and two months later calls them the greatest team and hates the Limers. (00:00:58)
2020-04-28 · get your game on — John says on Zwift he gets passed on long climbs by cyclists labelled '84 years old and loving it'. (00:01:27)
2020-05-12 · We Could All Use a Little Change — Asked in a comment whether he picks the All Star lyric or the video's subject first, John claims to have no idea what the viewer means. (creator comment)
2020-05-12 · We Could All Use a Little Change — John has a long history of buying journals he never writes in, hoping a purchase will bridge the person he is and the person he wishes to be; this time it worked. (00:00:29)
2020-05-19 · Didn't Make Sense Not to Live for Fun — Told in comments that the All Star lyric video titles keep coming, John playfully claims to have no idea what this refers to; to another commenter who noticed the lyric titles he says "You're on to us." (creator comment)
2020-05-19 · Didn't Make Sense Not to Live for Fun — John says even the most prescriptivist grammarian accepts 'I am not disgruntled' as correct, because 'I am gruntled' sounds ludicrous. (00:00:58)
2020-05-22 · The Meteor Men Beg to Differ // Judging by the Hole in the Satellite Picture — In a pinned comment John says 'songs that Skynyrd sings' is far better than 'trying different things' and Hank should write for Kid Rock. (creator comment)
2020-06-16 · a cool place — John quips 'Giardia twice' right after saying you're mostly fine in the river. (00:00:54)
2020-06-16 · a cool place — Having gone downstream all along, John expects the way back to take about three times as long and be about a fifth as much fun, though still some fun. (00:00:54)
2020-06-16 · a cool place — Finding a Bud Light Seltzer can, John says drinking it is bad enough, but throwing it in the river is classless. (00:02:20)
2020-06-16 · a cool place — A straw left by the side of the road, John notes, ends up in the river. (00:02:49)
2020-06-16 · a cool place — John finds an unopened can of Budweiser good until June 5, 2020, two days earlier. (00:02:49)
2020-06-23 · You'll Never Shine if You Don't Glow — Replying to an Ohioan feeling attacked, John says he lived many wonderful years in Ohio and it is a great place, but Indiana has the better state insect. (creator comment)
2020-06-23 · You'll Never Shine if You Don't Glow — Told the All Star titles give a commenter a feeling, John says he has no idea what they are referring to. (creator comment)
2020-06-23 · You'll Never Shine if You Don't Glow — John reads the DNR's remark as a dis presumably aimed at neighboring Ohio and its dubious choice of state symbols. — hedged: “presumably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-06-30 · i like it — John says it has been a two-star week: nothing is really wrong aside from (gestures broadly), but he is exhausted on a few levels. (00:00:00)
2020-06-30 · i like it — John wonders how July 7th is one week away when June 1st was both three hours and three years ago: time is folding in on itself. (00:01:48)
2020-07-14 · The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. — Replying to a comment about the titles, John says he is not sure what 'these titles' refers to, but All Star is one of his favorite pop songs. (creator comment)
2020-07-14 · The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. — Unable to sleep around midnight, John decided to produce some joy and spent the next five hours watching Robbie Gonzalez explain how Rubik's Cubes work. (00:02:26)
2020-07-14 · The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. — John has very limited spatial intelligence: after 13 years in his neighborhood he couldn't draw a map of it, and he can't do 25-piece children's jigsaw puzzles. (00:02:26)
2020-07-14 · The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. — John really recommends Rubik's Cubes, stressing he solved his with his own two hands and a step-by-step YouTube tutorial. (00:02:55)
2020-07-21 · Somebody Once Asked . . . — Asked his favorite creature of land, sea and sky, John answers humans, humans who are currently swimming, and owls. (00:00:00)
2020-07-21 · Somebody Once Asked . . . — John's morning routine: wake up, dress, brush his teeth and doomscroll through COVID news for 45 minutes; he wouldn't recommend it. (00:00:29)
2020-07-21 · Somebody Once Asked . . . — Asked his favorite line of All Star, John says it is weird that people keep asking him about this 19-year-old pop song, then names a favorite line. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-07-21 · Somebody Once Asked . . . — John's most common quarantine activity is worrying, with no close second. (00:02:52)
2020-08-18 · what's wrong with taking the back streets? — Told the title is bad, John says he also hates this title thing, but they are 85% through the nightmare and, as Hank said on Friday, they are not giving up now. (creator comment)
2020-08-25 · Somebody once told me… — John says the second thing he would ask a time traveler is how many titles Liverpool wins in the next decade. (00:03:24)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — John says 'I have a new book coming out' would make a great title if he hadn't made an absurd, increasingly ridiculous title commitment several months ago. (00:00:00)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — John is very nervous and/or excited, and says a symptom of 2020 is that he genuinely can't tell whether it's 'and' or 'or'. (00:00:58)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — John admits he is not signing as a gift to pre-orderers but for himself: he wants to make a small repeated mark on paper over 100,000 times that hopefully makes some people happy. (00:02:26)
2020-09-01 · get the show on — John notes he has less than 90% of the paper left for the remaining 90% of the circles and looks forward to finding out how that resolves. (00:02:55)
2020-09-11 · If you don't go… — In a pinned comment John jokes that Hank makes good videos but can't pin comments, and links vote.org's registration check and How to Vote in Every State. (creator comment)
2020-09-15 · All That Glitters Is Gold — John says he has been thinking a lot about the lyric 'all that glitters is gold' for roughly the last 21 weeks. — hedged: “I don't know, like” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2020-09-15 · All That Glitters Is Gold — John admits he is not an expert at analyzing lyrics: where others find a Mountain Goats song is about a Maoist rebellion, he thinks every Mountain Goats song is about him. (00:00:58)
2020-09-15 · All That Glitters Is Gold — John says he doesn't really care what Smash Mouth had in mind; what matters to him is what the lyric makes him feel when people sing it. (00:02:26)
2020-10-05 · Thank God It's Over and PIZZAMAS IS HERE!!!!!!! — John celebrates that he can finally title his video anything he wants, having unhitched his wagon from All Star. (00:00:00)
2020-10-05 · Thank God It's Over and PIZZAMAS IS HERE!!!!!!! — In a channel comment John explains that 'three John moon' references the old internet meme Three Wolf Moon. (creator comment)
2020-10-05 · Thank God It's Over and PIZZAMAS IS HERE!!!!!!! — John unboxes this year's (2020) items, starting with Circles Pizza John, which combines two of his favorite things, drawing tiny circles and having a mustache, then shirts, a hoodie, a tote, socks, pins, wrapping paper. (00:00:29)
2020-10-05 · Thank God It's Over and PIZZAMAS IS HERE!!!!!!! — John says his returning mustache is real bad, even catastrophic, and smiling makes it worse. (00:00:58)
2020-10-05 · Thank God It's Over and PIZZAMAS IS HERE!!!!!!! — John says it wouldn't be 2020 without a Pizza John mask, joking that wearing it makes people keep their distance. (00:02:28)
2020-10-07 · The Golden Age of Vlogbrothers — Asked in comments where the mustache went, John says he shaved it because he couldn't go on like that. (creator comment)
2020-10-07 · The Golden Age of Vlogbrothers — Signing off, John says he almost said he'd see Hank on Friday, but he will see himself on Friday. (00:03:53)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — Dropping Alice off, John asked if she minded him wearing his Pizzamas mask; she suggested maybe he could wear it later. (00:00:00)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — The description asks viewers to get their Pizzamas items at pizzamas.com and embarrass their friends and family. (video description)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — John says the mask has been one of the most popular Pizzamas items, along with the Three John Pizza Moon shirt. (00:00:00)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — John notes that right after his video on no longer trying to maximize Vlogbrothers views, Hank made a video that hit Reddit's front page and got lots of views. (00:00:29)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — Former Rax buildings remind John of a favorite Onion headline about telling that a local bank used to be a Pizza Hut. (00:00:52)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — John says the brothers have talked about the Rax Guy so much in the last ten years because he was like the first Twitter user, posting short observations to his fence. (00:01:50)
2020-10-09 · The Rax Guy — John hopes the Rax Guy is doing all right, adding that he is probably crushing it on the social internet: there has never been a better time for Rax guys. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:18)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — John announces his mustache is back, a Pizzamas miracle, adding that not all miracles are good. (00:00:00)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — On 5 October 2020, John predicts about 40 people will buy the Pizza John shirt on upload day, and tells viewers not to be afraid to beat that expectation. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-10-13 · Me from the Past: A Pizzamas Miracle — On 5 October 2020, among vague predictions that are always accurate, John predicts Twitter, Reddit and Facebook will be dumpster fires he can't stop refreshing unless he physically leaves the internet. (00:02:26)
2020-10-15 · Civilization and the Lies We Love — John has been thinking about a lie that has proven very durable online; the internet is made of lies, but he finds this one particularly interesting. (00:00:00)
2020-10-15 · Civilization and the Lies We Love — In a channel comment John highly recommends the Pizzamas hoodie, which is swaddling him as he types. (creator comment)
2020-10-27 · The time I met Joe Biden — Meeting the actor who played Gilligan in the early 2000s, John blurted that he loved Gilligan's Island, never having seen it, and was asked his favorite episode. (00:00:58)
2020-11-03 · Alaska for Looking — It begins with all the numbers in the book, then many A's: apparently John loves an indefinite article. (00:00:29)
2020-11-03 · Alaska for Looking — The end of the H's reads 'Hygienic Hyperventilating Hypothetical Hysteria', which John calls a fine title for his autobiography and his response to 2020: a line he did write, just not in that order. (00:01:27)
2020-11-24 · personal risk · societal risk — John tells Hank that because he loves him, Hank can't come to Thanksgiving. (00:03:24)
2020-12-01 · The Utah Monolith, What It Means, Why It Matters, and Whether It's Aliens — John says social media's overarching response was aliens, which would be interesting, very 2020 and good for sales of An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, which basically predicted the affair. (00:00:25)
2020-12-01 · The Utah Monolith, What It Means, Why It Matters, and Whether It's Aliens — John says the story sounds like a parable: scientists literally counting sheep are roused into a new kind of consciousness by an otherworldly artwork. (00:00:35)
2020-12-01 · The Utah Monolith, What It Means, Why It Matters, and Whether It's Aliens — John says it wasn't aliens, probably. — hedged: “Probably.” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:14)
2020-12-08 · A Love Letter to My Brother, Basically — John recalls Hank inventing 2D glasses for 3D movies and projecting a million sales; John expected about 12, and Hank sold thousands. (00:00:29)
2020-12-08 · A Love Letter to My Brother, Basically — John says this began the brothers' long, fruitful tension: Hank believing anything he did would succeed beyond all possibility, John believing anything they did would fail completely. (00:00:58)
2020-12-08 · A Love Letter to My Brother, Basically — John doesn't know how Hank does it all; asked in interviews how he writes books and makes videos, he answers: have you met my brother? (00:01:27)
2020-12-08 · A Love Letter to My Brother, Basically — John recalls Hank calling to propose a sock club instead of a book club: socks by independent artists every month of 2021, all profits to charity; John liked it but didn't know how to make it real. (00:02:26)
2020-12-15 · America's Capital of Dead Vice Presidents — John says Indiana is most known for not being known for much: a race car thing, some sports teams, and a children's museum being attacked by dinosaurs. (00:00:00)
2020-12-15 · America's Capital of Dead Vice Presidents — John says Fairbanks's remarkable goatee might be the best facial hair in US vice presidential history. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — John tells his January self to stop making unqualified statements about the future like 'I will' and say 'I hope to' or 'barring unforeseen catastrophe' instead. (00:00:17)
2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — John's goal of no longer working nights or weekends failed: from March (2020) he became a part-time e-learning consultant to his two young children and worked when alone and awake, which was rarely, grateful to have work. (00:01:27)
2020-12-29 · Looking Back at My 2020 Goals — Not losing large swaths of his life scrolling through Twitter as dread washed over him was not an unambiguous success. (00:02:28)
2020-12-31 · Auld Lang Syne: The Anthropocene Reviewed — Auld Lang Syne is also a rousing ode to splitting the check: 'surely you'll buy your pint cup, and surely I'll buy mine'. (00:04:13)

Hank

1006 statements · sincere 90% · playful 9% · other bits 0% · hedged or unsure 8%

Sincere but hedged (78)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 43 · wish / hope 1 · opinion marker 9 · other hedge 16 · hedge words not recorded 9.

Epistemic doubt (43)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

2020-01-14 · Foolish · Beautiful — Hank says he will send John the book, probably on Monday. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:54)
2020-01-17 · It's Like Shark Tank, but for Charity — The description says Hank is a little nervous about the plan: maybe it will work, maybe not, but he thinks it might, and if it does it will be fun. — hedged: “I think it might” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
2020-01-24 · Horses are Very Weird — Hank says the takhi probably isn't (entirely) the ancestor of modern horses, and genetic studies indicate it might be a feral descendant of an ancient domesticated horse. — hedged: “might actually” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:46)
2020-01-24 · Horses are Very Weird — Hank says the takhi, with short legs and a zebra-like mane, is likely a good approximation of what horses looked like before domestication. — hedged: “likely” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:15)
2020-01-24 · Horses are Very Weird — Hank says modern horses may descend partly from Przewalski's horse, but a big piece is also the tarpan, a now entirely extinct wild horse of which there is maybe a photo and definitely one single drawing. — hedged: “maybe some, but probably not entirely” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:15)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — Hank says we are probably never going to find liquid water on Mars, and there is already enough confusion about the water situation there. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — Hank says the streaks on very steep Martian slopes might be water seeping through soil, but if they exist they are extremely saline, with super toxic perchlorate salts. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:58)
2020-02-21 · The Muck of Millennia — Hank says he doesn't think about that much, and it's probably best not to think about it too much, but maybe he should some. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:20)
2020-03-06 · I Did Not Get Leprosy! — When Hank listened to punk rock on headphones the armadillos came over and snuffled his head, he thinks because they took the music for a bug, since they listen for prey. — hedged: “I think because they thought maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:10)
2020-03-06 · I Did Not Get Leprosy! — Hank says the glyptodons of the past are now extinct, probably because of humans. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:02)
2020-03-20 · The Sudden Obliteration of Expectation — Hank says the suggested description isn't quite it but is close enough that maybe it can become the word, since there isn't one. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:59)
2020-03-20 · The Sudden Obliteration of Expectation — Like balancing on moving ground, one may drop to a knee and then rise; the process is stressful and taxing and may make people more susceptible to addiction or negative thoughts. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:08:13)
2020-03-27 · Take a Break with Some Feather Stars — The description says Montana has asked nonessential businesses to close until at least April 10th, likely longer, and that DFTBA will re-open. — hedged: “likely” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
2020-04-10 · Things I'm Finding Encouraging — Hank says maybe we are realizing how much work makes the world function, and hopes we will afterwards value others' work, such as teachers' and childcare workers'. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:34)
2020-04-17 · The Rarest Fish in the World is an Anglerfish! — Hank says the red handfish could possibly share the smooth handfish's fate. — hedged: “Possibly” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:30)
2020-05-01 · I Need to Get Myself Away from this Place — Hank muses that John is in Michael's story and the visitors in his, and maybe the real main character is the paint, with all of them minor satellites in a place that is always there. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:40)
2020-05-29 · Get Paid — Hank doesn't think Quibi is necessarily bad: he favors billionaires spending their money, it hurts no one, and maybe he's wrong and it will succeed. — hedged: “maybe I'm wrong” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:44)
2020-06-12 · Fed to the Rules — The description says signed copies have maybe sold out at Amazon, since Hank can't find them. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
2020-06-12 · Fed to the Rules — Hank says it is not certain how cats reached the island; probably the lighthouse keepers, being lonely, brought them. — hedged: “We think probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-06-19 · Only Shooting Stars — Hank says the speck you see as a shooting star is probably no bigger than a grain of sand. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2020-06-19 · Only Shooting Stars — Earth's rocky surface is geologically young because tectonic activity keeps replacing it, so an average rock is probably not much older than 2 billion years and quite likely younger than dinosaurs. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:21)
2020-06-19 · Only Shooting Stars — Hank says bits of Venus and Mercury have probably also landed on Earth, but none has ever been found. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:06)
2020-06-19 · Only Shooting Stars — Some shooting stars Earth runs into are probably bits of Earth thrown up millions of years ago by massive collisions. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:06)
2020-06-19 · Only Shooting Stars — Apollo 14 seems to have brought back from the Moon a rock that is actually from Earth, possibly the oldest Earth rock, flung there more than four billion years ago. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:30)
2020-07-24 · Could I Spare some Change for Gas? — Birds in general are just good, and pelicans are maybe the best of them; Hank grants this is probably controversial and entirely subjective. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:36)
2020-08-14 · Hit The Ground Running — Even when driven by pure stubbornness rather than fortitude or the hustle, you may find something new or inspiring, learn about yourself, or see the world change so the idea becomes good. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-08-14 · Hit The Ground Running — It is just as likely, maybe more, that a sprint the world keeps saying isn't working will only get stickier and more laborious, while onlookers shake their heads. — hedged: “maybe even more so” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:03)
2020-08-21 · The Water's Getting Warm — Hank questions the line: cancer, kind of, nuclear proliferation and poverty are also global collective problems; it depends on what he meant by collective. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2020-08-21 · The Water's Getting Warm — If collective means everyone contributes and can affect it, however slightly, through their actions, then maybe global warming is the first large-scale collective problem the world has faced. — hedged: “maybe, maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2020-08-28 · Break the Mold — Hank advises young creators to think about other paths besides TikTok, but probably not the well-trodden ones full of people who already have lots of power. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:41)
2020-08-28 · Break the Mold — Hank says that with things tumultuous and the clear paths full, there may be many useful, valuable paths not yet blazed, and that this applies to 2020, not just TikTok. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:55)
2020-09-18 · They Say it Gets Colder — Hank says Mars and Venus were probably habitable for a long time; Mars is in the habitable zone, Venus is not. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2020-09-18 · They Say it Gets Colder — Hank says an unknown geochemical process could produce the phosphine, and figuring that out would itself be a big deal. — hedged: “could” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:38)
2020-09-18 · They Say it Gets Colder — Hank imagines a mission to Venus's upper atmosphere will happen in his lifetime, which he finds super exciting. — hedged: “I imagine” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:38)
2020-09-18 · They Say it Gets Colder — Hank says life on a neighbouring planet would be extremely exciting but maybe not as surprising as one might think. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:05)
2020-09-25 · i said yep — Hank says this reminds him that the world and people are probably better than he thinks, which is at least something. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:13)
2020-10-06 · Something Important I've Never Talked About — Hank says he likes, or maybe used to like, mosh pits, which he thinks he has never said online; he may have had his last one. — hedged: “Or maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2020-10-06 · Something Important I've Never Talked About — From roughly age 15 to 25, Hank was fascinated by who makes these rules. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:41)
2020-11-06 · Just Some Election Thoughts… — Hank repeats his saying that all dichotomies are false dichotomies (even that one), and says the country may have found a middle path. — hedged: “we may have found” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2020-11-20 · Would I Take a COVID Vaccine? — It is unknown whether or how much the vaccine prevents spreading the disease; it probably does substantially, since vaccinated people test negative. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:01)
2020-11-27 · Finally Launching this Project!!! — Hank hopes that as the club grows it can do more good in more places and ways, perhaps the start of something bigger. — hedged: “we hope, maybe,” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:10)
2020-12-18 · How to Change What you Want — Insight one: it is really hard, maybe impossible, to stop wanting things, and it is not clear that wanting nothing would be good. — hedged: “maybe impossible” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:15)
2020-12-18 · How to Change What you Want — Insight two: maybe you can steer what you want, though wants are hard to control and cannot be changed by sheer force of will. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:34)

Wish / hope (1)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

2020-10-16 · Still Riding a Big Wave that I Do not and Cannot Know — Having been through it a lot already, Hank wants to help others going through it understand the responsibility, value, perils and joys of being part of it. — hedged: “Hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:02:23)

Opinion marker (9)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

2020-01-03 · Re-Thinking our YouTube Channel — Hank doesn't think the cheap ebook price will last much longer. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (00:03:46)
2020-02-28 · I'M FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE — The description says Hank did signed copies for other markets last year (2019) but doesn't think that will happen this year (2020); he is at the mercy of how publishing works. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (video description)
2020-04-10 · Things I'm Finding Encouraging — Hank announces a weekly, roughly 20-minute podcast, COVID Sucks, People Don't, talking with people trying to make things better, a project he started out of his own need. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:32)
2020-05-08 · The years start coming and they don't stop coming! — Hank says the None Pizza with Left Hank shirt has almost outsold None Pizza with Left John and is on sale for about two more days; waking up to it was cool. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:27)
2020-05-15 · Lookin' Kinda Dumb! — Hank says Bizarre Beasts is a series he is doing on Vlogbrothers, with only a couple more episodes left. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:55)
2020-07-24 · Could I Spare some Change for Gas? — Journey to the Microcosmos has not done an episode just on Lacrymaria, which features in its predation episodes; Hank thinks they will do one soon. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:47)
2020-07-31 · Your Brain Gets Smart, but Your Head Gets Dumb — Hank has hope: he thinks higher education will survive by accepting that it has done tremendous good while letting budgets balloon, competing like businesses for customers instead of educating students. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:23)
2020-11-06 · Just Some Election Thoughts… — If the result goes the way Hank expects, it is a bit of a lifeboat, but not a collective agreement that this was the right thing to do. — hedged: “the way I think it will” [opinion marker] (00:00:58)
2020-11-06 · Just Some Election Thoughts… — Hank thinks that if Biden is ultimately elected, many people will see it as a failure of Trumpism. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:58)

Other hedge (16)

a hedge that matches none of the word lists

2020-01-14 · Foolish · Beautiful — For the most beautiful phenomenon of the Anthropocene, Hank guesses some colors that did not exist until humans came along. — hedged: “I bet” [other hedge] (00:00:39)
2020-01-24 · Horses are Very Weird — Hank says the North American mustang is kind of an invasive species and kind of a reintroduced one, the only such case in history as far as he knows. — hedged: “As far as I know” [other hedge] (00:02:10)
2020-01-31 · How Many Stars are in the Sky? — The description says the image maps candidates for other telescopes, especially the infrared James Webb Space Telescope, which will launch, fingers crossed, in March 2021. — hedged: “fingers crossed” [other hedge] (video description)
2020-03-20 · The Sudden Obliteration of Expectation — Around 2003 or 2004 Hank began feeling worsening intestinal pain and other bad symptoms, the pain being the big one. — hedged: “2003 or 2004” [other hedge] (00:00:00)
2020-03-27 · Take a Break with Some Feather Stars — The description says orders received up to that morning should ship, pre-order items may not, and customer service still handles refunds at hello@dftba.com. — hedged: “should” [other hedge] (video description)
2020-04-10 · Things I'm Finding Encouraging — Hank worries that at a moment that calls for international cooperation, the pandemic will make us even more nationalistic. — hedged: “I'm worried” [other hedge] (00:02:45)
2020-04-10 · Things I'm Finding Encouraging — Hank worries that later, dealing with the repercussions, messages that it wasn't as bad as experts said will work. — hedged: “I'm worried” [other hedge] (00:02:53)
2020-04-17 · The Rarest Fish in the World is an Anglerfish! — Hank says the red handfish is arguably the rarest fish on Earth. — hedged: “arguably” [other hedge] (00:01:02)
2020-05-15 · Lookin' Kinda Dumb! — Hank says the male's weird face exists, as far as we can tell, only for the lek: its rostrum, lips and split nose make a big, awful noise to attract females. — hedged: “as far as we can tell” [other hedge] (00:01:56)
2020-05-15 · Lookin' Kinda Dumb! — Hank says the Bizarre Beasts Pin Club is closed to new members, apologises, and says they will try to figure out something in the future. — hedged: “We'll try” [other hedge] (00:03:39)
2020-06-12 · Fed to the Rules — When the bird was found there was already a large feral cat population on the island, and the species probably went extinct barely more than a year after Lyall got it. — hedged: “probable” [other hedge] (00:02:01)
2020-08-21 · The Water's Getting Warm — No one knows the end result, but Hank finds it easy to imagine a fairly significant period of slow or even declining economic growth. — hedged: “it's not hard to imagine” [other hedge] (00:01:44)
2020-09-04 · Go Play! — Hank says no one is sure how Pythagoras found his theorem; the most discussed account is that he split square tiles diagonally into triangles and saw the leg squares make up the hypotenuse square. — hedged: “We're not sure” [other hedge] (00:01:18)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Hank supposes the documentary was aimed at Rax franchisees, who he is sure were livid that the company was so dramatically mismanaged. — hedged: “One assumes” [other hedge] (00:02:44)
2020-11-06 · Just Some Election Thoughts… — The description, written after recording, says Joe Biden is almost certain to be the next president of the United States. — hedged: “almost certain” [other hedge] (video description)
2020-11-20 · Would I Take a COVID Vaccine? — It looks like we are getting lucky: infection confers some lasting immunity, and vaccines exposing the immune system to non-infectious bits of the virus do too. — hedged: “It looks like” [other hedge] (00:00:29)

Hedge words not recorded (9)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

2020-01-10 · The Thing I would Like to End — Hank would like to end a couple of things on a national level, but personally he doesn't know what he wants to end. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:00:13)
2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — Asked how boxed cake directions would differ on Mars, Hank guesses you would need a different mix: with lower pressure and more oxygen in the hab, the cake would rise fast and big like a giant muffin. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:00:55)
2020-06-19 · Only Shooting Stars — Hank doesn't know what share of the daily dust is that old and doesn't think anyone does: it is burned up by the atmosphere, so we only get to watch it. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:01:02)
2020-06-26 · You Might as Well Swim! — How much the four parts overlap, and how four nervous systems communicate, is not known. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:00:58)
2020-07-03 · My World's on Fire — Hank figures something must have gone wrong with the electricity of the light, not the bulbs. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:01:04)
2020-09-04 · Go Play! — Asked whether math exists, Hank says he doesn't know: did Pythagoras discover or invent his theorem, is math an artifact of our minds or of reality? — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:46)
2020-09-18 · They Say it Gets Colder — Hank describes the hypothesis: microbes might live in the droplets, go dormant as spores when falling droplets evaporate, and be tossed back up into the nicer atmosphere. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:01:39)
2020-10-02 · I ain't she was with well and I so and it's and but so and I'll and — The description says Hank doesn't know what Trump's diagnosis means; he is sick of this year's (2020) uncertainty but shouldn't pretend to know things he doesn't. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (video description)
2020-10-30 · Four Years Ago — Hank doesn't want to have been thinking about Trump that day, but was, and doesn't know whether he should have been. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:36)

Fiction (1)

a story or novel read aloud; the words belong to characters

2020-12-04 · The Christmas Creature — Hank reads the poem: to appease the Christmas creature children pass strange tests, climb the hill with offerings and a mirror, and get their stolen toy back, now in the creature's debt. (00:00:20)

Joke (4)

a gag; not a claim

2020-03-10 · A Strong but Fleeting Flavor: A Reunion Video — Asked what should happen in Cats 2, one brother wants some cats to be really big and some really small. (00:00:20)
2020-09-04 · Go Play! — Hank jokes that while some say Pythagoras was visiting a palace, he puts a 90% chance on him pooping. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:01:58)
2020-10-14 · John Predicts the Future! — Asking why Trump's town hall was at the exact same time, Hank jokes that maybe his favorite debate format is talking over his opponent the whole time. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:57)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Hank's unsupported pet theory: printers had more V's lying around because U's were more useful, so using two U's would use up all their U's; he admits making the video partly for that line. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:58)

Playful (95)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

2020-01-10 · The Thing I would Like to End — Hank explains that after you give the manuscript to your editor, they either call it trash or send an editorial letter: not trash, followed by a long list of the book's problems; that is success. (00:01:04)
2020-01-14 · Foolish · Beautiful — Hank adds that he does not like the word 'twelfth'. (00:00:25)
2020-01-14 · Foolish · Beautiful — Hank's favorite foolish endeavor would have been all of humanity. (00:01:09)
2020-01-17 · It's Like Shark Tank, but for Charity — Hank answers that the list of his business screw-ups is a mile long and full of cringe. (00:00:10)
2020-01-17 · It's Like Shark Tank, but for Charity — Hank admits he keeps talking about soda syrups to get viewers to tell him how they feel about them. (00:01:56)
2020-01-24 · Horses are Very Weird — Hank says hands are feet you don't walk on (to an evolutionary physiologist, feet you type with); bats fly with feet and birds' feet became nubbins on their arms. (00:02:40)
2020-01-24 · Horses are Very Weird — Hank says the horse hoof is just a big toenail, so galloping stallions are all walking on one finger. (00:03:40)
2020-01-31 · How Many Stars are in the Sky? — Hank says the seemingly very bad image he shows is objectively one of the best images ever taken in human history. (00:00:00)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — The description says SodaStream is a 107-year-old company. (video description)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — Hank says SodaStream's Super Bowl commercial is among his top five SodaStream commercials; number one is one from the 90s. (00:00:00)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — Hank finds the ad's mission control confusing because it has no NASA logos, and wonders if it is a SpaceX thing. (00:01:27)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — Noting an Earth image captioned 'Great Pacific Plastic' on the mission-control wall, Hank says ocean plastic is a big deal, but not one to monitor from Mars. (00:01:27)
2020-02-07 · GET BUSY WITH THE FIZZY — Hank lists the in-ad news site's other articles (Super Bowl, plastic waste, climate optimism, sparkling water on Wall Street) and wonders who else looked. (00:01:56)
2020-02-14 · Ending The Great Airplane Seat Debate — Hank, being long, says that when someone reclines into his space he sometimes has to rearrange himself or gets his leg pinned to his chest. (00:00:29)
2020-02-21 · The Muck of Millennia — After the sign-off, a song from the airport hotel about waiting for the plane to go by. (00:03:20)
2020-02-28 · I'M FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE — Hank struggles to open a heavy box marked A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor and finds another box inside. (00:00:00)
2020-02-28 · I'M FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE — Since few people ever have to sign tens of thousands of sheets, Hank will test every permanent marker he could find to learn which is best, something he jokes no one has ever known. (00:01:12)
2020-03-06 · I Did Not Get Leprosy! — The job was so boring and lonely that Hank, with his first digital camera, took pictures of himself wearing produce bags on his head. (00:00:29)
2020-03-06 · I Did Not Get Leprosy! — Hank says threatened armadillos jump high in the air, which scares predators but not cars, which is why many end up dead by the road. (00:03:12)
2020-03-13 · The Anxious Scroll — Hank feels like a bad person for not calling friends more: both because it's a good thing to do and because it's so obvious and good and he still doesn't do it. (00:00:34)
2020-03-20 · The Sudden Obliteration of Expectation — More than 15 years on, Hank has been popcorn abstinent for over a decade and structures his life around his disease a little. (00:06:25)
2020-03-27 · Take a Break with Some Feather Stars — Hank says crinoids spend almost all their time sitting in one spot but almost all their viral-video time in their mesmerizing swimming locomotion. (00:01:40)
2020-03-27 · Take a Break with Some Feather Stars — Hank tells Bizarre Beasts pin club members that feather star pins were sent out early instead of armadillos, implying the mix-up was his fault. (00:03:20)
2020-04-10 · Things I'm Finding Encouraging — Hank says people with strong opinions and no expertise always get to pretend they were right, since their advice is never taken and no one runs the simulation their way, thank the Lord. (00:03:10)
2020-04-17 · The Rarest Fish in the World is an Anglerfish! — Hank says land animals are stuck to the ground; flying adds a third dimension, and water is a denser fluid that its animals fly through. (00:00:00)
2020-04-17 · The Rarest Fish in the World is an Anglerfish! — Hank says the top-performing human can get about eight feet off the ground unassisted, only to come right back down. (00:00:00)
2020-04-17 · The Rarest Fish in the World is an Anglerfish! — Hank says each time a clutch of red handfish eggs hatches, the world population of red handfish literally doubles. (00:01:02)
2020-04-24 · The Sharpest Tool in the Shed — Hank says he spent an irresponsibly large amount on permanent markers on Amazon, often having to buy the whole rainbow to get one black marker, and really enjoyed the process. (00:00:00)
2020-04-24 · The Sharpest Tool in the Shed — Hank says the worst experience is the Pocket Shark: a screw-on cap built to withstand war on a pen that doesn't last and is extremely unpleasant to sign with. (00:01:27)
2020-05-01 · I Need to Get Myself Away from this Place — Arriving at a tiny sign, Hank thought the ball was closed, until the owner turned the light on. (00:00:58)
2020-05-01 · I Need to Get Myself Away from this Place — Hank admits a wild, destructive urge to cut the ball in half, like wanting to step off a cliff edge, though he does not want to destroy it. (00:02:04)
2020-05-08 · The years start coming and they don't stop coming! — Hank says he is old now, and got okay with it by saying he was 40 since turning 38, so turning 40 brought no negative aging moment. (00:00:00)
2020-05-08 · The years start coming and they don't stop coming! — Hank was carded at the grocery store on his 40th birthday, then realised his young-looking forehead made it less impressive. (00:02:27)
2020-05-15 · Lookin' Kinda Dumb! — Hank says 'the lek' would be a very good name for a dating app. (00:02:26)
2020-05-15 · Lookin' Kinda Dumb! — Hank would add one sentence to the Snopes page: they look terrible, but the face exists so they can sound terrible too. (00:02:55)
2020-05-22 · The Meteor Men Beg to Differ // Judging by the Hole in the Satellite Picture — In a comment Hank says he was actually yelling about pop music for about 30 minutes to make the video. (creator comment)
2020-05-22 · The Meteor Men Beg to Differ // Judging by the Hole in the Satellite Picture — Hank says Summer Girls announces a song about the summer they met, then its first line drops the summer for a man's stomach; a forced rhyme is fine, but a stretch needs a reason, especially in a first line. (00:00:29)
2020-05-29 · Get Paid — Hank can't believe John made a TikTok, and already has way more followers there than Hank. (00:03:27)
2020-06-12 · Fed to the Rules — Hank really likes the name Tibbles, given to the cat in the legend; he doesn't know its origin, and it may have been David Lyall's cat. — hedged: “It may very well have been” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2020-06-12 · Fed to the Rules — Hank says the bird should be called Tibbles's wren, or rather a Tibbles acanthisittid, since it isn't even a wren. (00:02:01)
2020-06-26 · You Might as Well Swim! — In a comment Hank adds that the animals aren't Portuguese: the ship they were named after was. (creator comment)
2020-07-03 · My World's on Fire — The video is now filmed with a somewhat harsh LED light; three-point lighting is said to be best, but two will have to do. (00:01:10)
2020-07-03 · My World's on Fire — While Hank's world was literally a little bit on fire, it is figuratively on fire too. (00:01:33)
2020-07-03 · My World's on Fire — On his office floor are the last sheets he edited; his most common self-editing note is 'loose', which he can't define, but you don't want it loose. (00:03:32)
2020-07-24 · Could I Spare some Change for Gas? — Filming in his yard at 9 at night in Montana, Hank expected birdsong but got leaf blowing and yard work. (00:00:29)
2020-08-07 · Her Finger and Her Thumb in the Shape of an 'L' on Her Forehead — Hank says many people who project confidence have a lifetime of practice pretending over a deep well of insecurity, and that he means himself. (00:00:00)
2020-08-07 · Her Finger and Her Thumb in the Shape of an 'L' on Her Forehead — Hank says publishing a book means being reviewed, which can feel like a stranger telling you whether the last two years of your life were worthwhile. (00:00:00)
2020-08-07 · Her Finger and Her Thumb in the Shape of an 'L' on Her Forehead — Hank says mean critique is often just people calling you a loser, with nothing to learn from it. (00:02:41)
2020-08-14 · Hit The Ground Running — Told by a commenter, apropos of nothing, that they still like the song All Star, Hank replies he's not sure why they brought it up but feels the same way. (creator comment)
2020-08-14 · Hit The Ground Running — Hank says this is just something he has been thinking about, not aimed at anything in his life right now, though he has been through it before; maybe it helps John or a viewer. (00:03:19)
2020-08-14 · Hit The Ground Running — James from Journey to the Microcosmos just got a new microscope so beautiful it made Hank cry. (00:03:49)
2020-08-21 · The Water's Getting Warm — If that is true, Hank tells John, we now have a second such problem, the pandemic, which we could have done without. (00:00:29)
2020-08-21 · The Water's Getting Warm — There are some standout 'crap faces', but we don't know, and may never know, the ultimate impact of their terrible behavior. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:02:43)
2020-08-28 · Break the Mold — Hank says he has been spending a lot of time on TikTok because he is addicted to it. (00:00:00)
2020-09-18 · They Say it Gets Colder — Hank says higher up it gets cold enough for steam to condense into water droplets: 40 to 60 kilometres above Venus's surface, temperatures and pressures are like Florida. (00:00:58)
2020-09-25 · i said yep — Hank tells John and everybody that he is not making a video today. (00:00:00)
2020-09-25 · i said yep — Hank jokes that 2020 is the future of jet packs, and now we actually have the Iron Man suit. (00:01:19)
2020-10-02 · I ain't she was with well and I so and it's and but so and I'll and — Hank celebrates that after five months of titles taken only from Smash Mouth's All Star, with this not-great title they have used every word in the song. (00:00:00)
2020-10-02 · I ain't she was with well and I so and it's and but so and I'll and — The description says this title is the leftover interstitial bits of All Star not yet used in Vlogbrothers titles, so they are done; Pizzamas begins next week (week of 5 October 2020). (video description)
2020-10-02 · I ain't she was with well and I so and it's and but so and I'll and — Hank says being done feels good; it means nothing, but they assigned value to it and he is amazed and proud of them. (00:00:00)
2020-10-02 · I ain't she was with well and I so and it's and but so and I'll and — Hank says the bit made negative sense: the creator of the memed work sometimes does something dumb, and YouTube titles are one of creators' main tools for getting people to watch. (00:01:01)
2020-10-02 · I ain't she was with well and I so and it's and but so and I'll and — Hank says the titles of those videos can be anything, which is exciting and terrifying. (00:03:13)
2020-10-06 · Something Important I've Never Talked About — Hank calls 7 Seconds the most wholesome hardcore band ever. (00:01:39)
2020-10-06 · Something Important I've Never Talked About — Hank adds that their parents were also good at leading, but a hardcore band and your mom differ in how cool they are. (00:02:36)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Many Rax ads excluded demographics to appeal to a core audience, then pushed back against it, such as promising it was good for adults and for kids who act like adults. (00:00:29)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Hank lists more bad Rax ads: a phone eating a sandwich (with an Orange Is the New Black actress), a giant chicken foot, and a woman who explodes over a meatball pita. (00:00:58)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Hank describes Mr. Delicious, the new Rax spokesman promising a more mature dining environment, as a low-energy Rodney Dangerfield and a sad man. (00:01:27)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Hank is baffled that the ads hint at Mr. Delicious's empty Bora Bora trip with two young friends, a vasectomy and a costly analyst. (00:01:27)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Hank calls the campaign's tagline, 'You can eat here', the worst or possibly best in fast food history. (00:01:27)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Rax was also trying to identify with a core audience, fast food for grownups, which Hank sums up as misogynist, unfunny, alcoholic, sad grownups who gamble and see therapists. (00:02:15)
2020-10-08 · The Commercial that Killed a Fast Food Chain — Hank finds it telling that the pro-Mr. Delicious documentary included a line calling Mr. Delicious obnoxious. (00:03:13)
2020-10-12 · What Matters — Hank closes with a jingle for the Pizzamas fanny pack, with a zipper in the front and a zipper in the back. (00:03:46)
2020-10-14 · John Predicts the Future! — The description asks whether this counts as a collab video; Hank still really misses Brotherhood 2.0 and is happy Pizzamas exists. (video description)
2020-10-14 · John Predicts the Future! — Hank adds that it is unseasonably warm most days in most places: 2020 is one of the warmest years of the last hundred, or one of the coolest of the next hundred. (00:00:29)
2020-10-14 · John Predicts the Future! — Hank says it is more a win for epidemiological modelers, and more a loss for everyone. (00:00:29)
2020-10-14 · John Predicts the Future! — Instead, Hank says sarcastically, the vital topic now is Congress ramming through a Supreme Court justice rather than thinking about COVID relief. (00:01:57)
2020-10-16 · Still Riding a Big Wave that I Do not and Cannot Know — Hank admits he would a little bit like Pizzamas all year round, but a lot of people in his life don't want that. (00:02:23)
2020-10-16 · Still Riding a Big Wave that I Do not and Cannot Know — Hank hears music start and says it can only mean one thing, so he has to go do this. (00:02:23)
2020-10-23 · 10 Reasons to Vote RIGHT NOW — Reason six: get-out-the-vote callers receive a daily list of who has already voted, so voting stops the calls. (00:01:27)
2020-10-30 · Four Years Ago — Hank has no idea why he googled 'gay culture otter' when his son was less than a day old; maybe boredom while everyone else slept. (00:00:58)
2020-10-30 · Four Years Ago — Among the useful searches, Hank asked how to know when a baby is done pooping, because he took the diaper off before Orin was done. (00:01:56)
2020-10-30 · Four Years Ago — Hank asks everyone at least to keep worrying for each other, and occasionally to google the 'free shavacado' Vine. (00:03:34)
2020-11-20 · Would I Take a COVID Vaccine? — Hank lists absurd things he would do for a COVID vaccine, from spending 15 hours in a Target to eating a blenderized Happy Meal. (00:00:00)
2020-11-20 · Would I Take a COVID Vaccine? — Given his track record, Hank says the person needing a free hospital bed may well be him. — hedged: “may very well” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:28)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Hank frames the video as a question from Debbie in the Dear Hank and John inbox, one he has asked himself for decades: we spell letters with letters. (00:00:00)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Hank ranks the names of the letters by how they are pronounced, putting the vowels first because they get to do whatever they want. (00:00:00)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Second come consonants named with a final 'ee' sound (C, T, V, B), which make perfect sense; Hank wonders why that system isn't carried through the alphabet. (00:00:29)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Third come F, M, N and S, whose names put the consonant at the end; switching them to the 'ee' system fails because S would become C. (00:00:29)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Fourth come J and K, which do their own thing: K could be 'key', but J can't be 'gee' because G already exists. (00:00:58)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Fifth, among the misfit letters, is Q, which Hank finds fittingly weird, though we might not need it at all: 'queen' could be spelled K-W-E-E-N. (00:01:27)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Hank says X stands out on its own because it shouldn't exist: it is just K-S; Z also stands apart. (00:01:27)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Among the three worst letter names is Y, which could have been 'yee' and is unacceptable. (00:01:27)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Hank ranks W dead last: the only three-syllable letter name, the only one referencing another letter, the only one not containing its own sound; it just describes its shape, poorly. (00:01:51)
2020-12-11 · The /W/orst Letter — Second to last is H, whose name lacks the H sound unless you say it the British way, 'haitch', which Hank thinks we should; at least it contains the letter H. (00:01:51)
2020-12-18 · How to Change What you Want — Hank cannot simply decide to stop wanting Coca-Cola and start wanting to volunteer all the time; what he actually wants is to drink Coca-Cola and watch TikToks. (00:00:45)

Other voices

45 statements · sincere 93% · playful 7% · other bits 0% · hedged or unsure 7%

Sincere but hedged (3)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 3.

Epistemic doubt (3)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

2020-02-21 · The Muck of Millennia — Nicola: The mudlark says a horse skull in her collection could well be Roman. — hedged: “could well be” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:33)
2020-02-21 · The Muck of Millennia — Nicola: The mudlark shows a Roman pot, probably from 200, marvelling that it survived so long. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:03)
2020-06-23 · You'll Never Shine if You Don't Glow — Hank Green (quoted): As John recounts, Hank said geological temperature differentials might perhaps fuel life on such planets, but there would be no light, unless they make it themselves. — hedged: “perhaps” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)

Playful (3)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

2020-01-14 · Foolish · Beautiful — both: Asked what is foolish but also beautiful, both brothers answer in unison: the internet, and humanity. (00:01:43)
2020-06-05 · So Much to Do — Maya Rupert: Maya says interns taught her TikTok and she made one, but she didn't understand the medium at all. (00:27:38)
2020-10-23 · 10 Reasons to Vote RIGHT NOW — Boston voter in Hank's clip: Reason eight, a clip: a Boston woman voting at Fenway, Dunkies in hand, says she is ready to vote for Joe Biden though she wishes it were Bernie Sanders, because it is a team sport. (00:02:11)