Register 2013: hedges and bits

Statements from 2013 that are not plain sincere assertions: sincere claims the speaker hedged or marked as uncertain (with the hedge words quoted), and statements made as a bit. Plain sincere, unhedged statements are on the video pages. Back to the overview.

John

764 statements · sincere 82% · playful 17% · other bits 1% · hedged or unsure 11%

Sincere but hedged (73)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 28 · wish / hope 5 · opinion marker 24 · other hedge 13 · hedge words not recorded 3.

Epistemic doubt (28)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — In an inserted 'John from the future' update, John says he had assumed the House would also agree to the compromise but may have been overly optimistic. — hedged: “I may have been” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:18)
2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John tells viewers that the next time they vote, the most important race may be for state legislator or whoever draws district lines. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:31)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John says he may have concluded he doesn't care whether meaning is constructed or inherent, only what we find, and most meaning in his life came through collaboration. — hedged: “I think I might” [epistemic doubt] (00:56:04)
2013-02-12 · Talking to the President — John says that on Thursday he will be in a Google+ Hangout with President Barack Obama, and will probably have a cold sore, which he has begun to develop. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:37)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — The P4A charities have not been announced because the total is not yet known; John expects to know in a couple more weeks, after working out PayPal and shipping costs. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:05)
2013-02-26 · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: The Mac & Cheese and Communist Celery Edition — Hannah Hart asked people who donated to her Kickstarter to show off their kitchens because she might come cook in them, so John and his son cook dinner to show theirs. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:01)
2013-03-12 · Understand the Sequester (Spoiler: It's Bananas.) — John says the annual budget deficit is shrinking pretty fast and is probably not a concern at the moment. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:53)
2013-03-26 · A Poem for Spring — John thinks that is probably how many people feel about their hometowns. — hedged: “I think that's probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John says a film adaptation of The Fault in Our Stars seems increasingly likely, though still not certain. — hedged: “seems increasingly likely, although still definitely not certain” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:27)
2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John says he will take a four- or possibly five-week paternity leave from Vlogbrothers and everything else, except probably Tumblr. — hedged: “possibly” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:26)
2013-04-23 · DOCTOR GREEN — John says that, it seems, a few honorary doctorate holders used the title, including Benjamin Franklin, who called himself Dr. Franklin after a 1758 honorary degree from William and Mary, but that today it is frowned upon. — hedged: “It seems that” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:32)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — John says Sarah (the Yeti) is due to have their baby on June 1, though it might come earlier. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:04)
2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — John compares this to the disappointment when a newly elected leader brings only measured change, and suggests it may hold on middle-school playgrounds too. — hedged: “But maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:53)
2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — John: the Monopoly experiments imply individuals may be just vehicles through which power is wielded, so even very powerful people are not that powerful. — hedged: “imply that maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:04)
2013-08-20 · Why Are American Health Care Costs So High? — John says the US has more obesity but fewer smokers and less alcohol consumption, so compared with the British or French it is probably a wash. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:47)
2013-08-20 · Why Are American Health Care Costs So High? — John says US doctors (and to a lesser extent nurses) are paid more than elsewhere, which by his possibly faulty math adds about $75 billion more than expected. — hedged: “by my possibly-faulty math” [epistemic doubt] (00:04:23)
2013-08-20 · Why Are American Health Care Costs So High? — John says health care costs are probably the biggest single drag on the American economy and must be grappled with meaningfully rather than treated as political theater. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:07:20)
2013-09-10 · Secrets of the Movies: Thoughts from The Fault in Our Stars Set — John does a quick Question Tuesday with Ansel Elgort, who plays Gus, and says viewers can submit questions so that maybe they will do another one with real questions. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:53)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — John says he may write a Tumblr post on why such details don't matter to him and link it below; the description links the post. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:17)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — John says The Catcher in the Rye is probably his favourite book too and offers to send Nat the videos he made about it; the description links them. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)
2013-09-24 · Started from the Bottom: Benjamin Franklin and Drake Compared — John says he is probably a bigger fan of Franklin but appreciates Drake's retelling more, because Drake also says his whole crew is here, acknowledging that his success came from a "we". — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:16)
2013-10-08 · Applying for Health Insurance: Then and Now — John says he might post a special bonus video before Friday, since the government shutdown has thrown off the Vlogbrothers schedule. — hedged: “I might” [epistemic doubt] (00:05:54)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — John tells Hank directly he disagrees: cooperation, not curiosity, though he might be wrong and Hank, usually right, is probably right. — hedged: “I might be wrong” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)
2013-10-29 · Perspective — John thought his depression came from being dumped, but in retrospect being dumped was probably partly a result of the depression, with its obsessive thinking, self-focus and inability to act. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:38)
2013-11-12 · But Is Worm Pizza Poisonous? — John tells Henry he cannot eat worm pizza, Henry's first suggestion, because eating worms can be really bad for you, even kind of poisonous, as they carry bacteria. — hedged: “It can be kind of poisonous” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:15)
2013-12-03 · Who Owns DFTBA? An Introduction to Trademarks — John would kind of like to: he doesn't want corporations co-opting Nerdfighteria and is tired of emails asking why slogans are at Hobby Lobby, which until a month ago refused to carry menorahs. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:00)
2013-12-03 · Who Owns DFTBA? An Introduction to Trademarks — John suspects most Nerdfighters will keep making their own DFTBA stuff, buying from independent creators, or buying at DFTBA.com. — hedged: “I suspect” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:23)
2013-12-31 · GOOD NEWS: 14 Reasons 2014 May Be the Best Year Ever — John says that in almost every country people are now likelier to live to old age than ten years ago, less likely to be hungry, and better connected to those they love. — hedged: “likely better connected” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:07)

Wish / hope (5)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

2013-01-15 · North Korean Chicken, Stagecoach Travel, and other Thoughts from before Carnegie Hall — John hopes Hank's guitar arrives before Hank has to play songs on it at Carnegie Hall. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:00:00)
2013-03-05 · The Gray Speckled Walls Encroach: The Perks and Liabilities of Frequent Flying — John hopes his family time includes Hank and Katherine, but says they will have to come to him because he is not flying. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:02:42)
2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John apologises for the large hole in his mouth and hopes to have it fixed by next Tuesday (9 April 2013). — hedged: “I'm hoping” [wish / hope] (00:00:29)
2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — John hopes viewers can recognise and avoid the 'unfair Monopoly trap' and remember the world isn't just, because only then can they change it. — hedged: “I hope” [wish / hope] (00:03:31)
2013-11-05 · Our Strangest Project Yet? — John hopes the sponsorship helps keep the club in the Football League so he can play them in FIFA 15, 16 and beyond, and maybe one day send them to the Premier League. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:03:02)

Opinion marker (24)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John argues that state legislatures drawing their own congressional district lines is one of the central reasons Congress cannot do anything. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:34)
2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — John says they are leaving computers behind because it is sometimes good to reset your brain not to expect a new celebrity pregnancy every day. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:32)
2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — John says he loves the internet and that the community and connection he feels through it have made his life richer and better. — hedged: “I also think” [opinion marker] (00:01:16)
2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — John says he will venture into the germy world of face-to-face contact because he thinks it is good for his mental health, especially before Carnegie Hall. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:43)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John says the Nerdfighter Kiva group is at about $1.76 million, and that every day he makes two loans from the Foundation to Decrease World Suck's rotating $8,000 of Kiva credit. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (01:56:15)
2013-01-29 · Across Three Continents: A Tale of Tumblr, Copyright, and Excellent Posters — John thinks the most important things are that the internet stays vigilant, that people try to be fair to each other, and that copyright law never makes us afraid to create, the opposite of its purpose. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:17)
2013-03-05 · The Gray Speckled Walls Encroach: The Perks and Liabilities of Frequent Flying — John thinks a big part of being a parent is being around, so he is going to try that for a while. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:17)
2013-03-20 · Ads Work...but for Whom? — John objects to paywalls: he doesn't think it strengthens a community to consist only of people who can afford to pay to watch. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (00:02:14)
2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John says, in what he calls his most positive statement ever about Hollywood, that people should be cautiously optimistic about the film. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:56)
2013-05-21 · Poetry Makes Nothing Happen: Thoughts on Ai Weiwei from the Indianapolis Museum of Art — John thinks Ai Weiwei is probably the most important artist alive. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:20)
2013-05-28 · NERD FACTOR! (...And Why I Fear for Tumblr) — Responding to Hank's Tumblr and startups video, John thinks the underlying problem is that almost everything online depends on advertising, and advertisers are terrible at valuing the creator-viewer relationship. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:16)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John thinks the TFIOS film is going to be a very good movie. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:13)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John says he won't be back next Tuesday (23 July 2013), when viewers will see his secret sister Maureen, but the following Tuesday, which he thinks is July 30th. — hedged: “I think it is July 30th” [opinion marker] (00:03:30)
2013-07-30 · Paternity Leave Ends! And I Find Myself… — At three and a half Henry already has his first cultural stereotype, hole-digging Germans, which John thinks says a lot about humans. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:28)
2013-08-06 · Million Dollar Ideas — John explains that for about six years Hank has phoned him roughly once a week opening with 'I have a million dollar idea'. — hedged: “I'd say” [opinion marker] (00:01:02)
2013-08-27 · On the TFIOS Movie Set — John says he has been laughing and crying and cannot keep his emotions in check; he thinks the crew think he is crazy. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:21)
2013-08-27 · On the TFIOS Movie Set — John thinks that sense of responsibility is why it is going to be a good movie. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:39)
2013-10-08 · Applying for Health Insurance: Then and Now — John acknowledges the video runs over four minutes, says he thinks it counts as an educational video, and leaves viewers to discuss it in Our Pants. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (video description)
2013-10-15 · Thoughts for Nerdfighteria — John thinks they should keep making videos explaining health care costs, sovereign debt and the war in Syria, and videos about things they care about, like the TFiOS movie. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:24)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — The movie is not the same as the book and should not be: a film tells a visual story, a book a textual one. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (00:01:27)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — Even so, John thinks the script was a very faithful adaptation, one of the most faithful he has read. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:56)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — The great thrill of the film experience was seeing humanity do what John thinks it does best: not competing but cooperating, though we do compete a lot. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:24)
2013-10-29 · Perspective — John is very suspicious of epiphanies: people often have life-changing revelations that turn out not to change their lives. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:01)
2013-10-29 · Perspective — Harvey is about Elwood P. Dowd, whose best friend is a six-foot invisible white rabbit; John thinks one line really changed his life: 'you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant… I recommend pleasant.' — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:21)

Other hedge (13)

a hedge that matches none of the word lists

2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — More generally, John says he is a little worried that he has become addicted to the internet. — hedged: “a little worried” [other hedge] (00:00:41)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — Having had his heart broken by Hollywood before, John is starting to think the Fault in Our Stars movie is actually going to happen. — hedged: “I'm starting to think” [other hedge] (00:01:18)
2013-03-20 · Ads Work...but for Whom? — John argues it is no coincidence that the TV shows with the strongest communities, such as Doctor Who, are not funded by advertisers; much good TV is on cable, funded partly by, as he puts it, "crowdsourcing". — hedged: “I would argue” [other hedge] (00:01:24)
2013-03-20 · Ads Work...but for Whom? — John wants a way to thank creators such as Ze Frank, Wheezy Waiter and Hannah Hart for making him "lean forward", and does not think advertising alone can do that. — hedged: “I just don't think” [other hedge] (00:03:38)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John says he learned that China's monopoly on the world silk trade ended when two monks smuggled about seven silkworms out of China to the Byzantine Empire, rewriting history. — hedged: “like seven silkworms or something” [other hedge] (00:02:40)
2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — John concludes that on some level people aren't wielding power; power is wielding people. — hedged: “on some level” [other hedge] (00:01:30)
2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — John says the brothers will try to make things even more transparent so Nerdfighteria can hold them accountable and they can decrease world suck effectively together. — hedged: “we're gonna try” [other hedge] (00:02:37)
2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — John invites others to join Shailene in donating hair to Children With Hair Loss; at least eight inches are needed, with more information in the description. — hedged: “I thought it would be cool if” [other hedge] (00:03:25)
2013-09-24 · Started from the Bottom: Benjamin Franklin and Drake Compared — John says Drake is Canadian, which he calls arguably the best place in the world to be born today. — hedged: “arguably” [other hedge] (00:02:26)
2013-10-08 · Applying for Health Insurance: Then and Now — John says the only fair comparison is buying insurance before the ACA, not buying a DFTBA.com poster, and as far as he can tell it has gotten dramatically better, though the government needs new servers. — hedged: “as far as I can tell” [other hedge] (00:05:24)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — Massive collaboration of hundreds of people makes movies possible, which is why John argues the urge to collaborate, not curiosity, is the most important human trait. — hedged: “I would argue” [other hedge] (00:03:24)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — Many animals are curious, John argues, but only humans can cooperate to make online communities, space telescopes, Imaginariums and movies. — hedged: “I would argue” [other hedge] (00:03:24)
2013-12-03 · Who Owns DFTBA? An Introduction to Trademarks — John says the brothers did not invent 'Don't Forget to Be Awesome'; so far as he knows his friend Katie invented it in 2007. — hedged: “So far as I know” [other hedge] (00:00:32)

Hedge words not recorded (3)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John warns that Americans would lose faith in their ability to govern themselves gradually, as a process, and that this would be far worse than any fiscal cliff. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:03:21)
2013-02-05 · Headless Statues and Elton John's Piano: Seeing Sights in London (Thoughts from Places) — John wonders how different Tower Bridge really is from a photograph; after 30 hours awake he can't decide whether sights need seeing or virtual experience is enough. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (00:03:24)
2013-10-08 · Applying for Health Insurance: Then and Now — In the description John says it is too soon to tell which option will be cheaper or offer the best coverage; he wanted to compare the still very glitchy exchanges with the pre-ACA experience. — explicitly uncertain (hedge words not recorded) (video description)

Parody (5)

imitating a genre or a person (mock documentary, mock critic)

2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — In mock-critic voice John calls Anfield Cat, a cat on the pitch at a Liverpool game, a classic best read as a metaphor for human life: isolated, afraid, resilient. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:00)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John reads the dog pooping at a baseball game as rejecting our obsessive fascination with sports. (00:00:58)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John calls Goalkeeper Dog Catcher Fail the comic pinnacle and Drug Dog Wants to Play the greatest, a work that raises questions and leaves us unsettled. (00:01:27)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John says Fox Absconds with Golf Ball is another brilliant rejection of sport itself. (00:01:58)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John names Pine Marten Invades Swiss Soccer Match the greatest such GIF: biting marten and fouling defender leave no clear hero, suggesting each of us contains multitudes. — hedged: “to my mind” [other hedge] (00:02:26)

Joke (5)

a gag; not a claim

2013-02-12 · Talking to the President — John lists joke questions he has prepared for the President: 'what is air?', ten duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck, pennies, and who the eff is Hank. (00:01:30)
2013-02-26 · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: The Mac & Cheese and Communist Celery Edition — When his son refuses peanut butter on his celery, John asks if he is a communist; the son says yes, and John is glad he is politically engaged - the title's 'communist celery'. (00:02:18)
2013-07-30 · Paternity Leave Ends! And I Find Myself… — John defers his story until California and cuts to his hotel ('Movie... Magic!'), calling it a joke six hours in the making. (00:00:54)
2013-07-30 · Paternity Leave Ends! And I Find Myself… — John jokes that it is time for Germans and Dutch people to have a constructive dialogue about holes in beaches. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:21)
2013-11-19 · On Middle School Misery — John jokes that pizza combos, not stupid nerds, are the worst kind of combo: an insult to pizza. (00:01:03)

Playful (130)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John reports that on New Year's Eve the US Senate reached a compromise to avoid the so-called fiscal cliff of tax increases and spending cuts, mainly by postponing the hard decisions a few months. (00:00:03)
2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John jokes he is happy a post office is now named after Revolutionary War general Nathaniel Woodhull, who said 'God save us all' instead of 'God save the Queen' and was killed. (00:00:45)
2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John explains that the first US government under the Articles of Confederation could do almost nothing, so the Constitution replaced it with a Congress that could do a little. (00:01:06)
2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John says House seats are allotted by population: Montana has one representative and Indiana about nine. — hedged: “like, nine” [other hedge] (00:01:28)
2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — John says these successes happened 'because government' (also Nerdfighteria): Somalia, lacking a government, roads, public schools and telecom investment, produced no popular YouTube Pride and Prejudice adaptation. (00:02:57)
2013-01-01 · Why Does Congress Suck? — In a P.S. John marvels at six years of the channel and thanks the American government for running well enough that he can make videos in his basement for Nerdfighters. (00:03:44)
2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — John says 'Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday' are probably the two sentences he has said most often in his life, alongside 'I love you, let's get some pizza'. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — John says that, in the manner of an addict, he convinced himself an online video project would reduce his time online; it did not. (00:01:09)
2013-01-08 · Addicted to the Internet — John apologises in advance for not mentioning anything terrible or excellent from the last three days, because he is recording in the past. (00:02:16)
2013-01-15 · North Korean Chicken, Stagecoach Travel, and other Thoughts from before Carnegie Hall — John says he dreamt Chick-fil-A opened four restaurants in North Korea and that he should make a video about it; awake, he wishes it would so he'd have a topic. (00:00:32)
2013-01-15 · North Korean Chicken, Stagecoach Travel, and other Thoughts from before Carnegie Hall — John says their first rehearsal went well but was 'not the kind of thing you want to see at Carnegie Hall', and they are going to rehearse again. (00:01:32)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John says a third-grade girlfriend made him feel the universe had a plan for him; when she broke up with him three weeks later its 'cold, infinite apathy' was laid bare. (00:48:44)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John says the Pizza John shirt comes from his liking pizza and once having a mustache for five minutes; Nerdfighter Valerie2776 merged the two into the design. (00:58:19)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John introduces The Mountain Goats as his favorite band, and also his second favorite; his brother is in his top three. (01:17:23)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John announces a live Question Tuesday: two teams, questions sent on Twitter read by teammates, and whoever is talking at the end is punished with mild electrocution. (01:43:42)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Asked how playing Carnegie Hall feels, John says writers mostly sit alone, so this is more fun: 'quite nice', a Dutch understatement he picked up living in Amsterdam. (01:51:36)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — John calls the evening one of the coolest things that has ever happened to them, maybe top two, since he had a kid. (02:47:21)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — John recalls once describing Tumblr as mostly homoerotic Wholock watercolors; Dutch friends Lotte and Lidewij wrote him a song about it, which he woke up singing, puzzling Henry's babysitter. (00:00:08)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — John finds what looks like fried chicken in the morning; it turns out to be play chicken. 'It's so weird having a toddler.' (00:00:33)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — Asked his favorite part of the Evening of Awesome, John answers: all of it. (00:00:47)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — Asked how to tell whether someone wants to be 'just friends' or 'more than friends', John says use your words, and questions why language makes face-licking the step past friendship. (00:01:01)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — John advises saying what you mean instead of 'more than friends' - e.g. 'monogamous face-licking partners' - while granting that not all romantic relationships involve making out. (00:01:38)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — Asked why his Tumblr is called Fishing Boat Proceeds, John says since 2007 he has hoped for fishing boat proceeds so he can tick a special box on his tax return; it hasn't happened yet. (00:01:48)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — Asked whether he fears running out of book ideas or crippling writer's block, John says yes, and thanks the asker for mentioning it. (00:02:00)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — Answering questions on Romeo ('if he were named Paris he wouldn't be nearly so hot') and Holden Caulfield, John points to Crash Course episodes and tells viewers they should subscribe. (00:02:07)
2013-01-22 · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday — Asked for tips for a scared parent-to-be, John says everyone feels unqualified at first, but you only have to trick the baby into thinking you're qualified; babies are easy to trick. (00:02:24)
2013-02-05 · Headless Statues and Elton John's Piano: Seeing Sights in London (Thoughts from Places) — John landed in London early in the morning, not even sure what day it was; it rained, then the sun came out six minutes later. (00:00:00)
2013-02-05 · Headless Statues and Elton John's Piano: Seeing Sights in London (Thoughts from Places) — At his hotel John found a gift bag from Penguin with warm English beer, Marmite and a signed Steven Gerrard jersey. (00:00:00)
2013-02-05 · Headless Statues and Elton John's Piano: Seeing Sights in London (Thoughts from Places) — Too early to sleep, John went to the British Museum with Tanya and Jody. (00:00:29)
2013-02-05 · Headless Statues and Elton John's Piano: Seeing Sights in London (Thoughts from Places) — John jokes, from a sign, that you can urinate in public in England for only 500 pounds. (00:02:26)
2013-02-05 · Headless Statues and Elton John's Piano: Seeing Sights in London (Thoughts from Places) — John refuses ever to ride the London Eye, even when a Nerdfighter who works there begs him to. (00:02:26)
2013-02-12 · Talking to the President — John meant to make a Dublin Thoughts from Places video, but Hank used all of John's footage in his own Dublin video. (00:00:03)
2013-02-12 · Talking to the President — John says his FIFA 11 Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers have three games left in their entire FIFA 11 history and are on the cusp of winning the Premier League; link in the description. (00:00:16)
2013-02-12 · Talking to the President — John's penny question: Canada got rid of its one-cent coin and nothing bad happened, so how do we still live in a world with pennies? (00:01:39)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — Most importantly, John says, for the first time in American history a sitting President acknowledged that pennies are a terrible idea and a metaphor for what's wrong with government. (00:00:14)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — John is three episodes into teaching the history of the United States, which he jokingly calls Canada's pants. (00:02:34)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — VidCon will be the first time John leaves the house after the baby's birth; by 'party' he means sleeping eight hours in a row. (00:02:45)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — John gets several emails a day praising his work on The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which he is not involved with at all, though he is happy to take credit. (00:02:56)
2013-02-19 · Doing Things, On the Importance of — Hank's 2D glasses, which render 3D movies in two dimensions, were an idea John thought terrible that turned out brilliant; the 2D glasses empire grows by the day. (00:03:14)
2013-02-26 · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: The Mac & Cheese and Communist Celery Edition — John's mock cooking advice: experts say wait for the water to boil, but he is cooking for a three-year-old, so throw the asparagus in any time; it is done when you're bored. (00:02:03)
2013-02-26 · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: The Mac & Cheese and Communist Celery Edition — John's mock tips: microwave the sweet potato fries for maximum sogginess, as his son likes them, and cook the asparagus soggy rather than al dente. (00:02:44)
2013-03-05 · The Gray Speckled Walls Encroach: The Perks and Liabilities of Frequent Flying — He tells infrequent flyers walking to a middle seat in the back that they, not the first-class 'fancy people', have it figured out. (00:01:26)
2013-03-05 · The Gray Speckled Walls Encroach: The Perks and Liabilities of Frequent Flying — On a flight to Dayton, Ohio, John sat next to a man with super-elite status who said it had cost him a marriage. (00:01:48)
2013-03-12 · Understand the Sequester (Spoiler: It's Bananas.) — John jokes that old people buy computers with Social Security: many are now reading The Fault in Our Stars and email him in capitals that a granddaughter recommended it because she thinks they are about to die. (00:00:38)
2013-03-12 · Understand the Sequester (Spoiler: It's Bananas.) — John calls the design an incredibly bad idea that was assumed to force compromise, likening it to answering a slow fingernail tumour by removing your gall bladder. (00:03:41)
2013-03-12 · Understand the Sequester (Spoiler: It's Bananas.) — John jokes the sequester is even more embarrassing than the continued minting of pennies. (00:05:41)
2013-03-20 · Ads Work...but for Whom? — John feigns surprise at finding himself in an airport and warns never to make a video about not being in an airport for six months, because the fates will conspire against you. (00:00:00)
2013-03-20 · Ads Work...but for Whom? — John says he and Hank are perhaps the only two people in Nerdfighteria bothered by advertising, but he is still bothered, so he makes the video for Hank. (00:00:33)
2013-03-22 · How Much is a Human Life Worth? — In a closing clip, apparently from John's Late Late Show appearance, the speaker says Pottermore's Sorting Hat made him 100% Hufflepuff, which he wears with pride: badgers are ferocious, excellent finders. (00:03:41)
2013-03-26 · A Poem for Spring — On Tuesday, March 26th, 2013, 'also known as spring', John greets the season with a string of lines from poems in praise of spring. (00:00:00)
2013-03-26 · A Poem for Spring — John quotes Emily Dickinson's 'A light exists in spring' and asks where that light is: down with the snow, or in the gray sky that looks exactly like winter light. (00:00:00)
2013-03-26 · A Poem for Spring — John says he is ready for spring: the calendar has made a promise that the outside, still snowy, has failed to keep. (00:00:29)
2013-03-26 · A Poem for Spring — Though he says he does not believe magical thinking works, John shares his favourite spring poem, by E.E. Cummings, in the hope that spring will happen. (00:00:29)
2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John says the Indianapolis office has a groundhog they call YouTube, joking that it stays inside, is easily distracted and knew the brothers before it was cool. (00:00:58)
2013-04-02 · TFiOS Movie Casting, New Books, and Groundhog Wars: An Old School Vlogbrothers Video — John says that with the geese back for spring, YouTube has been locked for weeks in a staring standoff with one aggressive goose, which he jokes makes work impossible. (00:00:58)
2013-04-16 · Flags and Helpers — John records on his way to the dentist, seatbelt unbuckled because he is in a parking lot. (00:00:00)
2013-04-23 · DOCTOR GREEN — John says he has long been the least educated in the family: Hank and Katherine have masters of science, Sarah a master of arts, John only a bachelor of arts. (00:00:17)
2013-04-23 · DOCTOR GREEN — John attributes to Samuel Johnson 'hell is paved with good intentions', 'patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel', a mock cucumber recipe and 'what is written without effort is in general read without pleasure'. (00:01:55)
2013-04-23 · DOCTOR GREEN — John concludes he will be in excellent company as an honorary doctor but will still just be a mister. (00:02:14)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John says some days he wants to be a professional critic of GIFs of animals interrupting sporting events, and reviews them in mock-critic style. (00:00:00)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John's description calls the video a rip-off of Hank's video and links Hank's cat-GIF critique. (video description)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John jokes about Liverpool's own confused, inconsistent defending. (00:00:00)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — Reviewing Squirrel Interrupts US Open, John says sport is not only about winning and losing but about displaying what bodies can do, especially squirrel bodies. — hedged: “perhaps” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2013-04-30 · Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — John says most sports stories (Rudy, The Blind Side, Teen Wolf) lack a complex moral narrative, while great animal-interruption GIFs refuse that moral simplicity. (00:01:58)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — John gives Hank a tour of his workplace for 'Take Your Brother to Work Day', framed as an episode of Cribs. (00:00:00)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — John says Meredith writes for Mental Floss and, more importantly, is the CEO of the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers. (00:00:33)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — John shows his treadmill desk, where he has taken 360 steps today, and a signed Pelé jersey reading "To J. Green, DFTBA, good luck". (00:00:47)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — John says he bought a painting from Sarah before they dated, framed it, and when she first visited his apartment while they were dating she told him it was upside down. (00:01:01)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — John keeps his foreign editions of The Fault in Our Stars in his office and reads out several translated titles, noting he took French. (00:01:19)
2013-05-07 · The Clif Bars Go in the Jar Because Mice: An Office Tour — The office kitchen features artwork by John's son Henry and posters available at DFTBA.com. (00:01:53)
2013-05-14 · Puppies, Pegasi, and TFiOS Casting: It's Question Tuesday — Asked for his favourite photograph, John picks 'Young Farmers' (also called 'Three Farmers on Their Way to a Dance, August 1914'), noting they were also headed for World War I. (00:00:24)
2013-05-14 · Puppies, Pegasi, and TFiOS Casting: It's Question Tuesday — Asked what he thought of the Gatsby movie, John answers only with a frustrated sigh. (00:01:14)
2013-05-14 · Puppies, Pegasi, and TFiOS Casting: It's Question Tuesday — John says studies consistently show that the better people think they are at multitasking, the worse they actually are (then claims he is great at it). (00:01:37)
2013-05-14 · Puppies, Pegasi, and TFiOS Casting: It's Question Tuesday — Asked how it feels to be a doctor, John says about the same as before, and says he has hardly taken off his 'cape thing'. (00:01:45)
2013-05-21 · Poetry Makes Nothing Happen: Thoughts on Ai Weiwei from the Indianapolis Museum of Art — John jokes Hank wouldn't know the later-famous Beijing East Village artists, like explaining DailyGrace's fame to someone who knows her from Lowe's commercials. (00:00:48)
2013-05-21 · Poetry Makes Nothing Happen: Thoughts on Ai Weiwei from the Indianapolis Museum of Art — John says Ai is primarily famous on Tumblr for flicking off important buildings. (00:01:21)
2013-05-28 · NERD FACTOR! (...And Why I Fear for Tumblr) — John says he has probably said 'Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday' many times and only now learns Tuesday is named not for 'the second day' but for Tiw, the Proto-Germanic war god. (00:00:02)
2013-05-28 · NERD FACTOR! (...And Why I Fear for Tumblr) — John asks Hank to fix this problem during his paternity leave. (00:01:09)
2013-06-04 · A New Nerdfighter Baby — John announces in a pre-recorded video that his baby has been born; he jokes about his 'epic loins' before conceding Sarah did the birthing and he only reinforced the doctor's 'push'. (00:00:01)
2013-06-04 · A New Nerdfighter Baby — John will step away not only from vlogbrothers but also from writing and travelling, and (jokingly) from his careers as amateur historian, trivia buff and semi-professional FIFA player. (00:00:41)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — John says paternity leave is about as good as it gets, with some staying up all night, but not in the fun teenage way. (00:02:39)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — John reports that Henry has just laughed at a joke for the first time, while watching Annoying Orange. (00:03:22)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John says Sarah is a huge fan of Hot Nuts and comes home from Mexico trips with huge amounts, telling customs she doesn't think of them as food. (00:00:15)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John says Hank set up the camera in the single corner of their beautiful house that is covered in flies. (00:00:31)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John, startled by a bee, says he doesn't like bees and that bees are all Henry has nightmares about, which he calls a healthy fear. (00:00:51)
2013-07-19 · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More! — John says cucumbers are just a step on the way to a pickle, which he hates: an unruined pickle he likes better than a pickle. (00:03:02)
2013-07-30 · Paternity Leave Ends! And I Find Myself… — Many Nerdfighters were on the Lake Michigan coast, but John only met them when he took his shirt off at the beach and someone would ask if he was John Green. (00:00:41)
2013-07-30 · Paternity Leave Ends! And I Find Myself… — This happened about six times and John and Sarah remarked on it, apparently in front of Henry; on a Dutch beach they then saw German speakers digging huge holes with full-size shovels. (00:01:53)
2013-07-30 · Paternity Leave Ends! And I Find Myself… — That Henry remembered this from age one worries John about what else he remembers, such as John swearing during Liverpool games. (00:02:08)
2013-08-03 · Esther Day 2013 — John keeps saying 'a Nerdfighter that we met' and insists on 'who', refusing to accept the spread of 'that' for people. (00:00:24)
2013-08-06 · Million Dollar Ideas — John: some of Hank's ideas were excellent (Project for Awesome, VidCon, DFTBA Records), some seemed terrible but turned out great (2D glasses), and most are actually terrible ('Hank Games times two'). (00:01:02)
2013-08-06 · Million Dollar Ideas — John notes that none of Hank's million dollar ideas has ever made him a million dollars; most are about charity. (00:01:31)
2013-08-06 · Million Dollar Ideas — John pitches his 'million dollar idea': a phone-baby app that cries, must be soothed (feeding, pacifier, shushing), can't be muted and wakes every few hours for 12 weeks, a parody of newborn care. (00:01:31)
2013-08-06 · Million Dollar Ideas — John admits his idea is not that good, even worse than Hank's. (00:02:30)
2013-08-06 · Million Dollar Ideas — John recalls refusing Hank's request for $1,000 to start the 2D glasses company ('go suck it'). (00:02:50)
2013-08-20 · Why Are American Health Care Costs So High? — John tells Hank that he pays more in health-care taxes than he would as a Briton and, being privately insured, gets no health care for those taxes. (00:00:31)
2013-08-20 · Why Are American Health Care Costs So High? — John welcomes Hank back to the United States, where "everything is peachy". (00:07:35)
2013-08-20 · Why Are American Health Care Costs So High? — John reminds viewers that educational videos may run over four minutes; commenters calling him punished did not watch to the end. (00:07:43)
2013-08-27 · On the TFIOS Movie Set — John says he had a great day hanging out with Shailene and Ansel, and reports that Ansel paints miniature figurines: "He's one of us!" (00:00:30)
2013-08-27 · On the TFIOS Movie Set — John also hung out with Hazel's mom and dad - in the movie, not real, though it feels real. (00:01:06)
2013-09-03 · Bigger Pizzas: A Capitalist Case for Health Care Reform — John concedes that innovation usually means more use of non-renewable resources and new damage to the ecosystem, then waves it off: "whatever, free pizza". (00:00:29)
2013-09-03 · Bigger Pizzas: A Capitalist Case for Health Care Reform — John thanks Hank for being the engine of American job growth and for giving lots of people jobs, including John. (00:04:52)
2013-09-10 · Secrets of the Movies: Thoughts from The Fault in Our Stars Set — John jokes that one of the weird rules of moviemaking is that nobody may do anything until Deb hits the slate. (00:01:08)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — After Nat names Paul and blue, John jokes that his own favourite Beatle and colour are John and green. (00:03:28)
2013-09-24 · Started from the Bottom: Benjamin Franklin and Drake Compared — John jokes that both narratives are a smidge repetitive: the song's title chorus appears about 35 times in 3 minutes, and Franklin overuses words, especially "ingenious". (00:00:58)
2013-09-24 · Started from the Bottom: Benjamin Franklin and Drake Compared — John retells, mock-heroically, the autobiography's most famous moment: kicked out of his apprenticeship, Franklin reaches Philadelphia with one copper shilling, buys three loaves and gives two away. (00:01:27)
2013-10-04 · Q&A with Ansel Elgort and Mike Birbiglia from The Fault in Our Stars Movie Set — John says many people ask whether 'Johnsel' (John plus Ansel) is going to be a thing; John says it is and that he ships it. (00:00:46)
2013-10-04 · Q&A with Ansel Elgort and Mike Birbiglia from The Fault in Our Stars Movie Set — John says his wife, who is on set, told him that on Twitter he acts like he has a crush on Ansel. (00:00:53)
2013-10-04 · Q&A with Ansel Elgort and Mike Birbiglia from The Fault in Our Stars Movie Set — Signing off, John muddles Tuesday and Friday and blames the government shutdown for swapping the usual John-Tuesday, Hank-Friday schedule. (00:03:41)
2013-10-08 · Applying for Health Insurance: Then and Now — The private form asks about moving violations, pregnancy, diagnoses including mental or behavioral disorders, and drinking over 14 drinks a week; John answers with jokes. (00:03:03)
2013-10-15 · Thoughts for Nerdfighteria — John now regularly gets all-caps emails from 80-year-old grandmothers whose retirement-home book clubs read his book, asking what happens to Anna's mom; he welcomes more old people in Nerdfighteria. (00:01:01)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — John says he will be in the movie unless his scene is cut, in a 'really important role' he is not yet allowed to reveal. — hedged: “unless my scene gets cut” [other hedge] (00:00:29)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — John doubts that what he did on set counts as acting, and expects nobody to suggest a screen career once they see the film. — hedged: “I'm not sure” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:29)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — Adapting his own Paper Towns into a screenplay, John had the main character pursue an entirely different girl than in the book, so he may not be the best judge of faithfulness. (00:01:56)
2013-10-22 · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition — John, admitting he is biased, says viewers should definitely read the book before seeing the movie. (00:01:56)
2013-10-29 · Perspective — Asked by Hank's video to guess how long ago a million seconds was, John's immediate thought was 12 years; it is in fact 12 days. (00:00:10)
2013-10-29 · Perspective — John admits he is bad at measuring time, as long-time Nerdfighters will remember: he once acted as if a minute had 100 seconds. (00:00:15)
2013-10-29 · Perspective — Many days the only thing John ate or drank was one 2-litre bottle of Sprite, which he jokes leads to weight loss and eventually scurvy. (00:01:03)
2013-11-05 · Our Strangest Project Yet? — For the last couple of years John has managed a fictional FIFA team, the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers, but got obsessed with recreating the past like Gatsby and was fired. (00:00:01)
2013-11-05 · Our Strangest Project Yet? — John announces his retirement from semi-professional FIFA playing: he will no longer partly support his family by playing video game soccer. (00:00:18)
2013-11-12 · But Is Worm Pizza Poisonous? — John says he drew heavily on The Incidental Economist for his video about healthcare costs. (00:00:38)
2013-11-12 · But Is Worm Pizza Poisonous? — John read two of Carroll's books in the last 24 hours; he jokes they are addictive and revealed his entire life is a lie. (00:01:00)
2013-11-26 · The Bank of Nerdfighteria — John says the Bank of Nerdfighteria, like Toby Turner, has two arms, giving and lending, both growing more powerful by the year. (00:00:06)
2013-11-26 · The Bank of Nerdfighteria — With 'movie magic' John flies to see his mom and dad and films in the same room where he filmed his first Brotherhood 2.0 episode on January 2, 2007. (00:02:15)
2013-11-26 · The Bank of Nerdfighteria — John jokes that Kiva lending is like a savings account with a negative 1% interest rate, only 1% less than his bank offers, plus you watch businesses grow. (00:02:58)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — John says he has read the finished hardcover of The Fault in Our Stars zero times, since there are many books by others he could read. (00:00:07)
2013-12-03 · Who Owns DFTBA? An Introduction to Trademarks — John jokes the letter could tell Urban Outfitters to stop selling the doormat or publicly apologize for firing its Swedish employees when they tried to unionize. (00:00:49)
2013-12-10 · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: Slobber Carrots and Gross Barbecue — John reads that the first ingredient of Valu Time Luncheon Loaf is mechanically separated chicken and pork and the last is smoke flavoring. (00:01:37)
2013-12-10 · Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: Slobber Carrots and Gross Barbecue — Tasting: the slobber carrots with drool are actually quite good, the gross barbecue is so bad, much worse than a blenderized Happy Meal, and the hat is not very good. (00:03:08)
2013-12-31 · GOOD NEWS: 14 Reasons 2014 May Be the Best Year Ever — John jokes that there are already too many people driving up playoff ticket prices for his hometown Indianapolis Colts, who are going to the playoffs. (00:01:00)

Hank

765 statements · sincere 85% · playful 15% · other bits 0% · hedged or unsure 15%

Sincere but hedged (106)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 60 · wish / hope 1 · opinion marker 25 · other hedge 19 · hedge words not recorded 1.

Epistemic doubt (60)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

2013-01-11 · On the Ownership of Ideas — Hank says this arrangement is not law and not really legal, but everyone is happy, so the law doesn't come into it; corporations deciding what's okay is worrisome. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:53)
2013-01-11 · On the Ownership of Ideas — Hank concludes that free ideas might not be good for individuals' pocketbooks but are better for society and culture as a whole, and that's what makes life beautiful. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:30)
2013-01-11 · On the Ownership of Ideas — Hank says he really will see John on Monday and may see viewers too: there are two pre-Carnegie rehearsal shows in New York, tickets $10, all proceeds to charity. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:44)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Asked what most decreased world suck, Hank names P4A but recalls their first-year visit to a microfinance organization in the Dominican Republic; microfinance seems to really work. — hedged: “it seems to really work” [epistemic doubt] (01:55:09)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Hank says his favorite thing is his wife; after seeing the Mountain Goats alone in Missoula while Katherine was away, he wrote one of his two love songs. — hedged: “Probably” [epistemic doubt] (02:03:09)
2013-01-25 · How to Make Friends — Hank says not to marry a romantic partner if you don't appreciate each other's 'bizarre broken sculpture within': it probably won't work unless you are very good friends. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:24)
2013-02-08 · The Space Time Continuum: Thoughts from Dublin — Hank: without consciousness of our past, easy to lack in towns barely 100 years old, we forget we are part of an ancient continuum, and may be culturally stunted. — hedged: “I think we might” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:21)
2013-02-22 · Translating Dance Songs — In Dragostea Din Tei a man keeps calling a girl, presumably his ex or current girlfriend, leaving messages that boast of himself through Romanian cultural icons, then wails that she is leaving him. — hedged: “presumably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:22)
2013-03-08 · ONE MILLION NERDFIGHTERS! — New lenders can use the link in the description, where their first $25 loan will probably be donated for free. — hedged: “Probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:02)
2013-03-08 · ONE MILLION NERDFIGHTERS! — Maybe that is because the videos have always been ones he makes for his big brother, or because they stay open about who they are so people don't think them more than they are. — hedged: “Maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:31)
2013-03-08 · ONE MILLION NERDFIGHTERS! — Or maybe, Hank says, this community is simply a one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-seen-again thing. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:31)
2013-03-15 · Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Hank says he has been thinking a lot about YouTube lately and may be having a little creative crisis, which he says is part of his normal cycle. — hedged: “Maybe, maybe, maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank says North Korea almost certainly will not bomb anyone. — hedged: “almost certainly” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:32)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank says no one knows how Pyongyang's internal politics work, so there may be an internal reason for the escalation that we will never know. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:08)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank says North Korea is a threat: it has nuclear weapons and is probably the only state left crazy enough to use them. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:20)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank says North Korea's tantrums have won concessions; since everyone wants a stable Asia, giving in may sometimes be better, but continued giving gives them no reason to stop. — hedged: “I guess” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:23)
2013-04-12 · Felicia Day, Hannah Hart, and The Fine Brothers — Hank is going to dinner with the Fine Brothers and to appear in an episode, or maybe more, of YouTubers React. — hedged: “or maybe more” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:35)
2013-04-19 · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg — Hank writes that the confusion terrified him because it was not talked about culturally, though his parents were super-supportive; because it was hard for him, he assumes it is hard for many others. — hedged: “I assume” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank's description says he kind of wishes he had not made the video, because he was stressed out all day after filming it. — hedged: “kinda” [epistemic doubt] (video description)
2013-05-10 · Some Mind-Bending Earth GIFs — Hank calls more interesting the amazing sprawl of Orlando, where he and John grew up. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:39)
2013-05-10 · Some Mind-Bending Earth GIFs — Hank says it might be a better world if all policy were based on science, but policy rests on the individual decisions and feelings of individual people. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:21)
2013-05-10 · Some Mind-Bending Earth GIFs — Hank says watching this change over his own lifetime is intense, moving and terrifying; we have learned a lot but not acted on it, maybe because we don't really understand it. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:31)
2013-05-10 · Some Mind-Bending Earth GIFs — Hank hopes that looking around Google Earth Engine, based on NASA's 'fantastic' Landsat program, might give us a better understanding of our realities and so lead to better decisions. — hedged: “Maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:48)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — On YouTube paid subscriptions, Hank says he doesn't know how people will use them, hopes in innovative ways, and favours people making money from what they produce. — hedged: “I don't know” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:22)
2013-06-07 · How To Be a Baby Properly — Hank welcomes Alice to Earth, 'a wonderful, terrible place', and says she is being born into what may be the most interesting time in human history. — hedged: “may be” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2013-06-14 · What is the Strongest Force on Earth? — Hank: one could also argue life has the greatest impact on geology, by creating soils, preventing erosion and transpiring moisture into the atmosphere. — hedged: “you could say” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:28)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Hank: the Nerdfighteria census results were fascinating (his overview on Hank's channel took 23 minutes); 130,000 people filled it out and 100% of those who started finished. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:53)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says the old regime began when Gamal Abdel Nasser overthrew King Farouk, whom he calls sort of a puppet king of the British. — hedged: “sort of” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:15)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says many people like the Brotherhood and many fear or misunderstand it, and the old regime vilified it a lot: 'it's complicated'. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:17)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says the military needn't grab power because it controls about 40% of the Egyptian economy, claims a sacred bond with the people, and is sometimes outside the law. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:56)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank calls Hosni Mubarak, by 2010 really a military dictator, terrible: head of a kleptocracy extracting resources for himself and his cronies, who jailed Brotherhood members. — hedged: “sort of” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:18)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says crime rose and police were largely disbanded while youth demanded a quick presidential election. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:04:21)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says that instead of concessions Morsi gave a three-hour speech, and protesters took to the streets right after rather than waiting for June 30th. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:06:08)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says about 10 million people on the streets triggered the military's 'sacred bond', and it removed Morsi by force in a coup supported by a lot of people. — hedged: “Apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:06:28)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Hank says he cannot solve this alone; the advertising system is too ingrained for a technological solution, but 'we' might find a cultural one. — hedged: “there might be” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:47)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Subscribers get videos and other content in their feed, possibly some exclusive content, without having to pay. — hedged: “possibly maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:26)
2013-08-02 · 17 Air Travel Tips — Hank doesn't like flying (bathroom rules, nosebleeds, airsickness, no internet, the smell) but flies a lot and feels he is getting good at it. — hedged: “I kind of feel like” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:11)
2013-08-02 · 17 Air Travel Tips — Free in-flight food is minimal (perhaps Biscoff cookies and a drink), so maybe bring a snack and an empty water bottle to fill after security. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:40)
2013-08-02 · 17 Air Travel Tips — Hank expects to see John before Tuesday, since John is in the room on the other side of the wall. — hedged: “I think I may be” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:46)
2013-08-09 · What I Learned at VidCon — Hank: PBS is probably the most innovative and successful legacy media company in online video because it has always focused on content that gets loved, not views. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:55)
2013-08-23 · Thoughts from Bath: The Legacy of Wealth — Hank says Bath's hot spring was a principal resource of Roman Britain; the Romans built probably England's largest structure around it, a resort for wealthy Romans used so long their wooden shoes wore through the stone floors. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:08)
2013-08-23 · Thoughts from Bath: The Legacy of Wealth — Hank says most of what we see of cultural history is an artifact of concentrated wealth, and our age's greatest objects - the Burj Khalifa, iPhone, Harry Potter films, Hubble - likely will be too, much of that wealth American. — hedged: “likely” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:32)
2013-09-06 · Undigested Lump (A Song) — Hank says he will work on a new album in October and November, helped by favorite YouTube musicians and probably some favorite wizard rock musicians. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:47)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank says attacking Assad and empowering the rebels might save millions of lives or cost millions, a power vacuum might be filled by al-Qaeda-sympathetic Islamists; the future is unknowable. — hedged: “Maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:04:54)
2013-09-27 · Invalid Arguments: Climate Change — Hank says he will probably still be alive in 2060, which is when world population will probably peak at around 10 billion. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:01)
2013-09-27 · Invalid Arguments: Climate Change — Hank says 2060 is probably when the really significant effects of global climate change start to be felt, a problem that will not be solved in the next 50 years. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:09)
2013-10-01 · The Lowdown on the Shutdown — Hank says the deeper problem is that politicians redrew district lines to be ever more partisan, making elections easier to win but radicalizing districts so representatives must be uncooperative; not easy to fix. — hedged: “sort of” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:01)
2013-10-01 · The Lowdown on the Shutdown — Hank expects lost pay, probably the loss of good employees to the private sector, and international ridicule; he calls the shutdown embarrassing, stupid and a dangerous game, but survivable. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:03)
2013-10-25 · When Was it a Million Seconds Ago? — The observable universe is an unknown fraction of the actual universe, which may be infinite — more incomprehensible data about how amazing the universe is. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:19)
2013-10-25 · When Was it a Million Seconds Ago? — Humans are not designed to understand such things but are designed to want to understand them; Hank, allowing he may be wrong, calls that humanity's most wonderful quality. — hedged: “I may be wrong” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:30)
2013-10-25 · When Was it a Million Seconds Ago? — Returning to the earlier conversation, Hank allows the best quality may instead be our capacity and tendency to collaborate to make things bigger than ourselves. — hedged: “It may, in fact,” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:42)
2013-10-25 · When Was it a Million Seconds Ago? — Commenters have suggested empathy is the most wonderful human quality, which Hank says may also be true; he likes that humans are pretty cool for many underappreciated reasons. — hedged: “that may also be true” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:48)
2013-11-15 · I Have a Band? — Hank says he kind of has a band now, which he has never had before. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:09)
2013-11-15 · I Have a Band? — Hank says the Pizzamas items will never be available again, except maybe the number one top-selling one; he is not sure. — hedged: “maybe the like number one top-selling thing. I'm not sure” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:28)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — Hank suggests viewers tell friends and family looking for Christmas presents for them about the offer. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:10)
2013-12-06 · I Am President Snow — Hank says the hardest thing to relate to in The Hunger Games is its unimaginably inequitable society, where some starve while others gorge and a table is worth more than a life, except we kind of live in that world. — hedged: “kind of” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:13)
2013-12-06 · I Am President Snow — Hank says he probably spent enough on fancy dinners with his wife this year (2013) to save other people's lives, but did the normal thing; not evil but complacent, that makes him President Snow. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:28)
2013-12-16 · Project for Awesome Time!! What does it Mean?! — Hank lists further perks: a chance to win a book signed by J.K. Rowling, and the first two chapters of John's new work in progress, which may or may not become his new novel. — hedged: “I don't know if it's going to become his new novel, but maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:39)
2013-12-16 · Project for Awesome Time!! What does it Mean?! — Hank says he made a digital-only Christmas album for the Project for Awesome, six or maybe seven songs, much of it but not all recorded. — hedged: “maybe seven” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:42)
2013-12-27 · The Kidney That Was In 3 People - And Other Amazing Science Things — Hank says his favourite Tumblr question, whether eating one pound of nachos at 99 pounds makes you 1% nacho, is too complicated to answer here; SciShow may do a whole episode on it. — hedged: “may” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:51)

Wish / hope (1)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

2013-05-10 · Some Mind-Bending Earth GIFs — Hank cheers NASA, Google, science and understanding, and hopes for action in the near future. — hedged: “hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:03:05)

Opinion marker (25)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

2013-01-18 · Thoughts from Carnegie Hall — Hank says the Evening of Awesome is preserved on the channel for those who missed it; it runs a couple of hours and he thinks it is worth watching (link in description). — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:44)
2013-03-15 · Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Without overstating viewers' power, Hank thinks it is "our job" to stop that happening; it won't be hard, but it won't happen on its own. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:51)
2013-03-15 · Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Hank says online video is very important to him (he runs VidCon) and thinks it is culturally important now and will be historically important. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:12)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says he is happy to work inside that constraint, thinks few creators get such freedom, and is very grateful. — hedged: “I don't think” [opinion marker] (00:01:52)
2013-05-24 · What's Up with Start Ups — Hank thinks an interesting, sustainable business comes from treating users as people you need, not as hours to be monetized. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:31)
2013-05-31 · Optimism is Not Insane — Hank says his video a few weeks ago on humanity's dramatic changes to the Earth, meant to inform and inspire, miserably failed: it was overwhelming, made people hate being human, and paralyzed them. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:25)
2013-05-31 · Optimism is Not Insane — Hank thinks we see a graph rising toward a disaster point and assume we have only years left, but usually we adapt: capitalism, technology and even Congress adapt. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:04)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Cultural changes need activation energy and catalysts; Hank feels Nerdfighteria, now a powerful force, could be the activation energy and Subbable the catalyst. — hedged: “So I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:01:00)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Educating the world for free takes money; Hank thinks the cultural change will lead to much more engaging content that people love rather than merely distracting content. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:22)
2013-08-09 · What I Learned at VidCon — Hank says refusing those offers was maybe not best for his wallet but was for the conference and, he thinks, for his happiness. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:37)
2013-08-09 · What I Learned at VidCon — Hank thinks being out of your depth, though hard and uncomfortable, is probably a good place to be, as long as you have a lot of support. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:06)
2013-08-16 · Harry Potter vs. Science! — Hank says Harry Potter is also collaborative, through screenwriters, actors and its fan community, including unintended collaborators like himself and Harry and the Potters; more so than most art, so a tie. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:45)
2013-09-27 · Invalid Arguments: Climate Change — In the description Hank says he believes humanity will face climate change with the desperate ingenuity and bravado of its whole history, and survive it. — hedged: “I believe” [opinion marker] (video description)
2013-09-27 · Invalid Arguments: Climate Change — Hank feels that before walking that path we have to agree there is a problem, which apparently has not happened yet. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:00:30)
2013-09-27 · Invalid Arguments: Climate Change — On "fossil fuels are great", Hank agrees: he thinks they are miraculous and precious, and he will not rag on people who work hard providing inexpensive energy. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:04)
2013-10-11 · TFiOS Movie, Emma Approved, Subbable Update, etc — Hank finds telling stories in different ways fascinating and says they will keep exploring it, probably in new ways. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:58)
2013-10-11 · TFiOS Movie, Emma Approved, Subbable Update, etc — Hank admits he takes on maybe more responsibilities than he should, but feels responsible to the world, John and Nerdfighteria and values the opportunities: how can you say no? — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:02:49)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank says education is about learning, teaching and knowing, but its most important piece is inspiring curiosity and understanding how important curiosity is. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:15)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank thinks curiosity may be the finest human quality. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:30)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank admits curiosity can lead to the creation of terrible things, but thinks only as a side effect. — hedged: “But I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:55)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank thinks spreading curiosity, more people who want to know for knowing's sake, is a really good path for the world to become better. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:13)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank loved John's video this week (week of 14 October 2013) and thinks it was important for them as brothers and for the whole community. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:39)
2013-11-08 · VidCon, Punishments, Comments, and Pumpkins — Hank says it is crazy how big VidCon has grown, but it still feels like a special time for online communities to come together in the real world, and he is proud of it. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:01:22)
2013-11-08 · VidCon, Punishments, Comments, and Pumpkins — Hank tells John he thinks Nerdfighteria sponsoring a professional football team is an amazing idea that just feels pretty cool. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:46)
2013-12-27 · The Kidney That Was In 3 People - And Other Amazing Science Things — Hank finds it fascinating that once the kidney entered the brother it was his to decide about, not his sister's or the medical establishment's. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:07)

Other hedge (19)

a hedge that matches none of the word lists

2013-02-22 · Translating Dance Songs — In Promise the singer appears to sing of an eternal pledge to a dead or lost lover, alone in the cold winter, which one translator says is a Japanese symbol of a perfect thing in an imperfect setting. — hedged: “appears to be” [other hedge] (00:02:56)
2013-03-15 · Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Hank says he and John think animated GIFs are an underappreciated art form. — hedged: “we think” [other hedge] (00:01:56)
2013-03-15 · Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Hank objects that a project like the Brain Scoop, with 50,000 dedicated community members, still cannot pay for itself, because advertising is not the right model; he doesn't even like advertising. — hedged: “I just don't think” [other hedge] (00:02:40)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank hopes North Korea's leaders are less idiotic than their rhetoric and says they know the US would wipe them off the map if they bombed another country. — hedged: “we hope” [other hedge] (00:03:11)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says Corey Vidal, Alex Carpenter and the Apprentice A team are in town filming their vlogging documentary I'm Vloggin' Here, which looks very good. — hedged: “it looks like it's gonna be” [other hedge] (00:01:23)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says Nerdfighters expect nothing particular from the brothers except not making terrible content; their mandate seems to be 'make good stuff, we don't care what'. — hedged: “appears to be” [other hedge] (00:01:52)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Asked whether Batman is a superhero or just a rich guy, Hank ventures he is more of a superhero than others, having no powers, just money. — hedged: “I would almost venture to say” [other hedge] (00:01:45)
2013-05-31 · Optimism is Not Insane — Hank clarifies that he does not think humanity is safe: we are in a significant mass-extinction event and are badly damaging the planet; but there is a very good chance humanity will still be creating and solving problems thousands of years from now, the two things we are best at. — hedged: “I do, however, think” [other hedge] (video description)
2013-06-07 · How To Be a Baby Properly — Hank: if all goes well, in Alice's lifetime humans will walk on Mars, computers become intelligent, the paralyzed walk again, absolute poverty all but end, and she may live past 100; or technological society may implode. It could go either way. — hedged: “If all goes well” [other hedge] (00:00:12)
2013-06-14 · What is the Strongest Force on Earth? — Hank says he supposes he should still be making these videos for John, even though John is not making them for him. — hedged: “I suppose” [other hedge] (00:00:00)
2013-06-14 · What is the Strongest Force on Earth? — Hank guesses that, since the quiz mentions igneous and sedimentary rocks, the teacher meant 'what has the greatest impact on Earth's geology?' and wanted water or the hydrological cycle. — hedged: “I'm going to guess” [other hedge] (00:01:11)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Hank says Grace's video went over four minutes, but he is unsure whether the four-minute rule covers videos on the Vlogbrothers channel or only videos made by the Vlogbrothers. — explicitly uncertain: “I'm still not sure” [other hedge] (00:00:00)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank says last November Morsi passed a decree basically saying the constitution didn't apply to things he said: 'another dictator'. — hedged: “basically” [other hedge] (00:05:28)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — The description says advertising does not care how viewers feel; the brothers fear distracting content will become the norm and loved content rare, and Subbable is their attempt to slow or stop that. — hedged: “we are afraid that” [other hedge] (video description)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Crash Course will stay free on YouTube; the hope is that enough people who can pay will, so that everyone can have access. — hedged: “our hope is” [other hedge] (00:02:03)
2013-09-06 · Undigested Lump (A Song) — Hank thanks John for the health care update, expects it will not be John's last video on it, and apologizes to non-Americans because it is a big deal in the US now. — hedged: “Something tells me” [other hedge] (00:00:00)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank says it looks as if Assad's forces used chemical weapons; sarin was definitely used, and on the regime's enemies. — hedged: “it looks as if” [other hedge] (00:02:59)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank says it is possible Russia is just enabling Assad's stalling. — hedged: “it's possible that” [other hedge] (00:04:30)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank loves explaining things but also doing things never done before, because the community is so interesting and, he feels, unique in history; coming together to do cool things is their best opportunity. — hedged: “really feel like” [other hedge] (00:02:45)

Hedge words not recorded (1)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

2013-03-15 · Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes — Hank worries that only big content will be self-supporting, with 99% of people watching the same boring, TV-like 1% of content, no innovation, and rich people invested in keeping it that way. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:00:36)

Parody (1)

imitating a genre or a person (mock documentary, mock critic)

2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — In mock-critic voice Hank praises Laser Wiggle Cat LOL's frame rate and tail, and calls Big Butt Cat Stuck in Box a crude setup by the cat's owner. (00:00:00)

Hypothetical (1)

a thought experiment or "what if"

2013-12-06 · I Am President Snow — Hank's example: a middle-class person invests $10,000 and a rich person $1,000,000 in Netflix; both double, so the rich person gains a million dollars, the other 10,000. (00:01:31)

Playful (112)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

2013-01-04 · 53 Terrible Jokes! — Hank says he will tell a bunch of jokes and plans to beat his previous record, which requires 52 jokes in under four minutes. (00:00:00)
2013-01-04 · 53 Terrible Jokes! — In the description Hank says the jokes are not actually terrible; most are pretty funny. (video description)
2013-01-11 · On the Ownership of Ideas — Hank likes DFTBA items he likes, such as a sewn greeting card on Etsy, and dislikes ones he doesn't, such as a Delia's shirt that also says 'keep calm and party on'. (00:01:19)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Hank says in high school he wrote raps about Pentium computers and 'Baby, I Sold Your Dog on eBay', hoping to sell it to Blink-182; instead he's at Carnegie Hall. (01:02:32)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — After 'Accio Deathly Hallows', Hank says its success made him decide to write a Harry Potter song every year on its anniversary, and sings 'Book 8', about a book that doesn't exist. (01:10:25)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Asked when you start feeling like a real adult, Hank says he's the wrong person to ask; he thinks adulthood is things being the same every day for years, so hopefully never. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (01:48:09)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Asked what he learned about John since Vlogbrothers began, Hank jokes about John's 'serious psychological issues', then offers answers John 'might have given': how smart and how funny he is. (01:49:18)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Asked his favorite pony, Hank says he has none, 'that's the whole point', but likes Spike because he's a tiny, cute dragon. (01:57:49)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Hank realises he did not electrocute himself and, having 'policed' himself, gives himself the shock in his pocket. (02:02:38)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Hank finds it creepy how often romantic pet names refer to little children, so his song is 'for the adult female I love'. (02:03:57)
2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Hank says the male deep-sea anglerfish, born without a digestive system, smells out a female and bites her; their circulatory systems fuse and he becomes a sperm-producing appendage. (02:39:17)
2013-01-18 · Thoughts from Carnegie Hall — Hank, in New York, heads to Carnegie Hall for the show, joking that his biggest fear is that he runs away. (00:00:05)
2013-02-01 · Football For Nerds — Hank says that when people ask how he has time to do so many things, he tells them he doesn't watch TV. (00:01:59)
2013-02-01 · Football For Nerds — Hank says football's ability to hold attention, and its many breaks for advertising ('America's second favorite pastime, being advertised to'), have made it an economic powerhouse. (00:01:59)
2013-02-08 · The Space Time Continuum: Thoughts from Dublin — After London, Hank (with John and Katherine) went to Dublin, where he was hit by the realization Americans have in Europe: this place is old. (00:00:07)
2013-02-08 · The Space Time Continuum: Thoughts from Dublin — Hank admits that someone raised where the oldest building dates from the 1950s might lack historical perspective, as he does. — hedged: “might” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:48)
2013-02-08 · The Space Time Continuum: Thoughts from Dublin — Travelling around, they popped into every bookshop to see if it had The Fault in Our Stars; John was caught videotaping his own book. (00:00:54)
2013-02-08 · The Space Time Continuum: Thoughts from Dublin — Hank's playful conclusion: watch Crash Course World History. (00:03:41)
2013-02-15 · Baby, Harlem, Obama, Dance Crazes, Big Week — Hank admits he is late to the Harlem Shake dance craze, calling himself an internet dance craze hipster who wants people not to forget Geddan and Numa Numa. (00:00:47)
2013-02-15 · Baby, Harlem, Obama, Dance Crazes, Big Week — Wheezy Waiter and Shay Carl got to make a video with Matt Damon, whom Hank playfully calls his idol. (00:02:22)
2013-02-15 · Baby, Harlem, Obama, Dance Crazes, Big Week — Hank got back from the United Kingdom and is jet-lagged. (00:02:34)
2013-02-22 · Translating Dance Songs — Hank expects to ruin the songs by removing listeners' ability to project their subconscious onto the nonsense of the words, and says he doesn't care. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:25)
2013-02-22 · Translating Dance Songs — Having translated Soulja Boy too, Hank never wants to dance to that song again, and apologizes for ruining all these songs. (00:03:17)
2013-03-01 · Top 25 Life Hacks of Reddit — To stop coworkers stealing your pen, put its blue or black cartridge into a 'froofy' coloured pen, since nobody steals pink pens. (00:00:57)
2013-03-08 · ONE MILLION NERDFIGHTERS! — Hank lists his day: Twitter, filming SciShow, readying P4A perks, a Hank's channel video, folding mug boxes with Katherine at the warehouse, a DFTBA Records video, editing Hank Games Live, Tumblr, a Kiva loan. (00:00:00)
2013-03-08 · ONE MILLION NERDFIGHTERS! — Hank jokes that he was the first Vlogbrothers viewer, a 'hipster', says viewers are watching before it is cool, and hopes it never will be. — hedged: “Hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:03:30)
2013-03-22 · How Much is a Human Life Worth? — Hank says, playfully, that selling his organs on the black market, everything from his eyeballs to his forearms, would bring in about $500,000. (00:00:44)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — In the description Hank insists the video is not over four minutes, because YouTube adds a second. (video description)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Hank introduces the second annual Hungry Games: friends play a stupid game; the winner eats something delicious stuffed in a dessert, the loser something super terrible. (00:00:06)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Hank explains the game's two components: they eat because they are hungry, and the fish (a fishing-pole game) are hungry too. (00:00:57)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Hank thinks a brownie filling is caviar and hopes caviar tastes good; when he tries the caviar brownie he screams and gags. (00:01:39)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Other fillings revealed include a fish stick and beans; Michael wins peanut butter, Hank gets horseradish and Spam, Michael Gorgonzola and Emily wasabi peas. (00:02:18)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank says North Korea is not really communist: it calls itself a democracy, but ballots have one candidate and a write-in can make you an enemy of the state. (00:02:07)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank calls North Korea's system, in effect, an absolute totalitarian hereditary military dictatorship (jokingly adding 'multi-party' and 'Did I say that right?'). (00:02:22)
2013-04-05 · North Korea: Explained — Hank says most North Koreans know nothing of the outside world; it is the only place on Earth where you can't buy a Coke. (00:03:02)
2013-04-12 · Felicia Day, Hannah Hart, and The Fine Brothers — Stuck in traffic, Hank jokes that LA would not be LA without it and that the road holds more people than his town. (00:00:00)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says some days he just wants to be a professional internet cat critic, and reviews cat GIFs in mock-critical style. (00:00:00)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says staged cat images like Big Butt Cat and Breadface Cat, while not truly abusive, make him feel guilty; cat leap fails are the cat's own doing. (00:00:29)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says over-analyzing cats and being slightly witty would be a good job, but not as good as his actual job. (00:00:58)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank loves cats and does not know how John lives without one: a cat is like a little living piece of art that is warm and soft. (00:02:21)
2013-04-26 · Cat GIF Critique — Hank says he loves Scrubs and watches it when he feels down, so he would not have wanted to be displaced by anyone else. (00:02:21)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank says that once a year he likes to get furious, for not very good reasons, and today he will deliver 17 rants in four minutes. (00:00:00)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank says Kraft should not call its American cheese slices cheese: they lack the texture, smell, taste and consistency of cheese, an insult to his country and to cheese. (00:00:15)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank says a "90% fat free" label really means the food is 10% fat, and labels should just say that. (00:00:39)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — To people who complain about the chemicals they are exposed to, Hank says everything is chemicals: water, your body, omega-3 fatty acids, raspberries. (00:00:47)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank asks people to stop saying "all-natural" when they mean healthy: plenty of all-natural things, like eating a tub of lard, are not good for you. (00:01:00)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank tells people who pee on a public toilet seat to clean it up, since otherwise someone else must clean up their pee. (00:01:29)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank criticises fans who say not knowing all of a fandom's trivia makes you not a fan: they were once excited novices too, and should not ruin it for newcomers. (00:01:43)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank complains about drivers who turn without signalling their intent. (00:02:03)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank says people should stop correcting others' pronunciation of GIF: both pronunciations are correct, so the corrector is the only one who is wrong. (00:02:09)
2013-05-03 · 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Anticipating complaints, Hank acknowledges he is a wealthy person in the wealthiest country at the wealthiest moment in history, yet a stubbed toe still hurts and the checkout's club-card question still annoys him. (00:03:05)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — On GIF pronunciation, Hank says they say 'jif' though neither is incorrect; his question-asking double considers switching because the president said 'gif', but Hank won't. (00:00:24)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Hank's 'useless trivia' double says Djibouti contains Africa's lowest point: the shores of Lake Assal, more than 500 feet below sea level. (00:01:02)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Trivia Hank says volleyball was invented in the 1890s as a safer alternative to basketball. (00:01:15)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Trivia Hank says the first picture uploaded to the internet showed an all-female comedy group based at CERN in Switzerland. (00:01:38)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Hank notes that with his, there were two Question Tuesdays in one week, and says his was a bit more ambitious. (00:02:55)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Hank tells viewers to feel free to answer the questions he answered in this video. (00:03:35)
2013-05-17 · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN! — Hank tells John not to do a Question Tuesday next Tuesday (21 May 2013), as that would be overkill. (00:03:48)
2013-05-31 · Optimism is Not Insane — Hank pre-congratulates John on his baby, due any day, and jokes that John will be relaxing on paternity leave while Hank fixes all the world's problems. (00:00:00)
2013-05-31 · Optimism is Not Insane — Hank jokes that he thinks he can run five businesses and pop over to Seattle to help kickstart a space telescope without going crazy. (00:00:56)
2013-06-07 · How To Be a Baby Properly — Hank says newborns want to be swaddled, warm and to hear whooshing noises, and that a baby's cry is designed to tap directly into the parents' sympathy. (00:01:13)
2013-06-07 · How To Be a Baby Properly — Hank advises Alice to sleep about two and a half hours at a time so her parents approach but never quite reach REM sleep, joking that they will start hallucinating. (00:01:40)
2013-06-07 · How To Be a Baby Properly — Hank says that because newborns are so underdeveloped their nervous system is poor and complex sensing is concentrated in one area (he gestures), so babies put things in their mouths to learn what they are. (00:01:55)
2013-06-07 · How To Be a Baby Properly — Hank says babies have two ways to communicate; the first, crying, should be used all the time, whatever the baby feels (hungry, sleepy, bored). (00:02:09)
2013-06-14 · What is the Strongest Force on Earth? — Hank tells viewers who do not know scientific notation to watch Crash Course Chemistry. (00:00:55)
2013-06-14 · What is the Strongest Force on Earth? — Hank playfully argues the force driving humans to keep together, feed children and reproduce is love (really, sex), so 'love' answers the question the teacher thinks they asked: how to BS an A on a geology test. — hedged: “you could make the case” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:02)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Hank: a couple of weeks into John's paternity leave things are going excellently; he jokes he'd be fine with John making more babies while he collabs with the best YouTubers, but misses him. (00:00:00)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Hank says Grace found out and sent him something (the description calls it 'Daily Grace Slaps Herself'), and declares: 'Punishment served.' (00:00:00)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Hank asks viewers to sign up for the newsletter at HankandJohn.com, joking it is 'probably the most beautiful website that you will ever go to'. (00:03:22)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Hank says he won't see John and signs off to Hannah Hart, next Tuesday's (25 June 2013) guest host. (00:03:22)
2013-06-28 · Plane Butts, Fish Farts, LeakyCon, and Marriage Equality — Hank is quite happy that at least 55% of the US Supreme Court 'is not crazy' (the title ties this to marriage equality). (00:01:28)
2013-07-05 · Egypt....Explained! — Hank's description jokes that educational videos are exempt from time limits (the video runs over seven minutes). (video description)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — Hank says a question has sat in his head for years, maybe six or seven, and he wants to get it out as a song. — hedged: “maybe like” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:00)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — In song, Hank asks JK Rowling, who is giving her money to charity, whether she has a few more jots in her: crack a laptop, for him, the kids, charity or the HPA. (00:00:18)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — In song, Hank grants that the idea probably stresses Rowling out after making something so great, and that fans' pressure probably gets old, but urges her not to let that fear stop her. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:47)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — Hank offers her absolute creative freedom - a screenplay, a Broadway prequel musical, a comic with Joss Whedon, a BBC mini-series - but asks her to avoid cartoons, Fox and MMORPGs. (00:01:37)
2013-07-12 · Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — Hank tells John that he and Sarah seem like pretty good parents. (00:03:03)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Hank recalls John saying months ago that nearly everything online depends on advertising, which undervalues the creator-viewer relationship, and asking Hank to fix this during his paternity leave. (00:00:00)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Hank says educational content cannot get the 'bajillion' views needed to pay for itself through advertising. (00:01:58)
2013-07-26 · Introducing Subbable — Hank spells out subbable.com and asks viewers to go there, help fund Crash Course, and 'defy capitalism'. (00:02:59)
2013-08-02 · 17 Air Travel Tips — When boarding, get out of the aisle. (00:02:13)
2013-08-02 · 17 Air Travel Tips — Past airport security is, Hank says, the only place where charging five dollars for a bottle of water is acceptable. — hedged: “apparently” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:55)
2013-08-02 · 17 Air Travel Tips — Electronics are banned during takeoff and landing, which Hank mocks, so bring a real book; books are nice anyway. (00:03:02)
2013-08-09 · What I Learned at VidCon — Hank learned that his feet can hurt for a long time before they stop working, that two weeks of stress leaves residual stress, and that extreme stress makes him sleepy. (00:00:26)
2013-08-09 · What I Learned at VidCon — Hank says Michael Buckley knows when you need a hug, and Jack and Finn are as intelligent, personable, fun and kind as you would expect. (00:00:26)
2013-08-09 · What I Learned at VidCon — Hank learned that internet creators who seem really weird are pretty normal in real life, except WheezyWaiter, who is 'legit weird'. (00:00:55)
2013-08-16 · Harry Potter vs. Science! — Hank says science versus Harry Potter is 'my brain': an easy choice for most people, but not for him, so he sorts it out with superlatives. (00:00:42)
2013-08-16 · Harry Potter vs. Science! — Creepiest: the 'living, breathing' Voldemort doll at the Studio Tour, which Hank calls maybe the worst thing he has seen. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:10)
2013-08-30 · Raw Onion, Twerking, and Speech Jam — Hank complains that Instagram on the web does not show all the comments, calling it an uncomplicated missing feature. (00:00:19)
2013-08-30 · Raw Onion, Twerking, and Speech Jam — In a song, Hank recalls asking Bernie what he thought of Pride and Prejudice characters as vloggers, and marvels that the idea won an Emmy award. (00:00:52)
2013-08-30 · Raw Onion, Twerking, and Speech Jam — Hank says a Wonder Woman movie needs to exist and comically says whoever turned it down should eat a can of poop-flavored poop. (00:01:16)
2013-08-30 · Raw Onion, Twerking, and Speech Jam — At a viewer's suggestion (per the description), Hank eats raw onion and finds it pretty good, having been ready to say how terrible it was. (video description)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank quips that although the Cold War is over, apparently no one has told the United States defense budgets. (00:01:05)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank says this isn't Star Wars: there is no rebel alliance, it is messy and muddy - and in Star Wars terms Assad has already killed Luke, Han and Leia and blown up Alderaan. (00:02:26)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank says Obama wants to enforce his red line even without UN support, Americans balk at another war, so the president has let Congress decide whether to attack. (00:03:31)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank jokes that Congress is so dysfunctional that if it were on fire it could not pass a 'Pour Water on Congress Act'. (00:03:47)
2013-09-13 · Syria in Five Minutes — Hank says Assad and Russia need each other, which is why John Kerry's offhand remark that Assad could avoid attack by handing over his chemical weapons was taken up by Russia - an accidental act of diplomacy. (00:03:52)
2013-09-20 · 42 Amazing Maps — Hank says reading Game of Thrones frustrates him because its world has not been fully mapped: what is west of Westeros? (00:00:28)
2013-10-11 · TFiOS Movie, Emma Approved, Subbable Update, etc — Hank jokes he is glad John is back because somebody needs to explain debt ceilings to him. (00:00:15)
2013-10-18 · Curiosity is the Greatest Human Quality — Hank thanks the event's organisers and tells John he is sorry John couldn't come, though filming a movie in Amsterdam is a pretty good excuse. — hedged: “I guess” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:28)
2013-11-01 · Scarier than Gravity: Real Life Close Calls in Space — In the description Hank says the Russians seem to have a knack for getting into terrible situations but somehow not dying. (video description)
2013-11-08 · VidCon, Punishments, Comments, and Pumpkins — Hank thanks VidCon's supporters and tells those who can't come he is sorry it exists in the real world and so is constrained by space-time. (00:01:46)
2013-11-08 · VidCon, Punishments, Comments, and Pumpkins — Hank sets John's punishment, a mix of suggestions: Henry decides and cooks John's dinner, short of poisoning him, and John has to eat it. (00:02:12)
2013-11-15 · I Have a Band? — Hank is sacrificing good video for good audio (the description says a towel is over his camera) because he is talking about his album. (00:00:07)
2013-11-22 · How to Apologize like a Fartbag — Hank defines a fartbag ('a technical definition') as a person who hurts someone and then blames the hurt person for their pain, like stepping on a toe and complaining. (00:00:39)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Hank recalls not knowing how to spell William at about thirteen. (00:00:50)
2013-12-16 · Project for Awesome Time!! What does it Mean?! — Hank says he is giving away all his shirts except the six he loves most as perks; they are all men's mediums. (00:01:12)
2013-12-16 · Project for Awesome Time!! What does it Mean?! — Hank says the livestream also starts at noon Eastern on December 17: everyone hanging out, watching and commenting on videos, voting for favorites, and slowly degenerating into madness. (00:01:41)
2013-12-20 · Best Moments of the Project for Awesome — Hank, still partly covered in Sharpie from the livestream, wonders why he did not plan how to remove it before covering his face. (00:02:26)
2013-12-27 · The Kidney That Was In 3 People - And Other Amazing Science Things — Hank says in the week between Christmas and New Year he has nothing he must do and kind of wants to go back to work; maybe he is a workaholic or just has a great job. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:00:07)
2013-12-27 · The Kidney That Was In 3 People - And Other Amazing Science Things — Hank says a drug that reverses graying hair causes diarrhea, nausea and occasionally death, but treats leukemia and costs about $90,000 a year, so hair dye it is. (00:02:18)
2013-12-27 · The Kidney That Was In 3 People - And Other Amazing Science Things — Hank supposes John, having kids, is probably spending his free week doing whatever they want, which sounds like less fun. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:38)

Other voices

167 statements · sincere 63% · playful 31% · other bits 7% · hedged or unsure 15%

Sincere but hedged (23)

Split by hedge type (derived from the quoted hedge words with a fixed word list — see the overview): epistemic doubt 7 · wish / hope 2 · opinion marker 13 · hedge words not recorded 1.

Epistemic doubt (7)

real uncertainty about whether it is true

2013-04-19 · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg — a guest: A voice is not sure they agree, but could see themselves falling in love with a man more easily than having sex with one. — hedged: “I don't know if I agree” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:45)
2013-04-19 · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg — a guest: A guest advises those struggling with their sexuality to be comfortable being the only person comfortable with it; others' acceptance will come. — hedged: “I guess” [epistemic doubt] (00:03:03)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Asked (in his own made-up question) when John is coming back, Craig is not sure, but says it will be a bunch of weeks with different people hosting each week. — hedged: “I'm not sure” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:19)
2013-06-25 · Thoughts from Places: Dog Days of Summer — Hannah Hart: Watching dogs simply happy to be alive, she muses that maybe she needed to be more appreciative and less contemplative: not every journey needs observing from outside. — hedged: “maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:47)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She says you can probably accomplish only one; punching a troll probably doesn't improve your cause, make your side look good or further the discussion, so many comments can't become teachable moments. — hedged: “probably not” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:42)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Nat says the one movie he would watch would probably be Taxi Driver, probably his favourite movie of all time. — hedged: “probably” [epistemic doubt] (00:01:36)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Sydney Green: Sydney says Mike's number-one marriage tip is persistence and her own parenting tip is along the same lines. — hedged: “I think maybe” [epistemic doubt] (00:02:54)

Wish / hope (2)

a wish about the future, not a claim about what is true

2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: He hopes we never stop obsessing over witches and superheroes, not for false hope but to exercise the power to make them come true through imagination, better than CGI. — hedged: “I hope” [wish / hope] (00:01:52)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Nat, on his second movie with director Josh Boone, calls Boone one of his best friends and hopes to work with him for the rest of his career. — hedged: “Hopefully” [wish / hope] (00:02:14)

Opinion marker (13)

marks a view as the speaker's own; not doubt

2013-02-15 · Baby, Harlem, Obama, Dance Crazes, Big Week — Barack Obama (quoted): Obama answers that he doesn't know, suggesting people get emotionally attached to the way things have been. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:05)
2013-04-19 · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg — a guest: A guest says that through high school they said they would never seriously date or marry a woman, but with age they have deeper connections with women. — hedged: “I feel like” [opinion marker] (00:01:21)
2013-04-19 · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg — a guest: A guest loved collecting Lisa Frank stickers and rainbows; an uncle saw this as a threat, but it never interfered with their inner reckoning about their sexuality. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:25)
2013-04-19 · On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg — a guest: A guest says their hardest obstacle is people saying bisexuality is not real, that you must choose or are doing it for attention; it is not true, you can like both. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:53)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: He thinks the world needs more magic and the supernatural: not that more people should believe in it, since it's all make-believe, but that more people should make-believe it. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:29)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: He isn't saying writers like John should ditch realism, just that you can never have too much imagination; books and movies can do anything because it's pretending. — hedged: “I just think” [opinion marker] (00:01:27)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: He thinks JK Rowling got one thing wrong: non-magic folk don't hate or deny magic; people love blaming lost keys on ghosts, gnomes or fairies because it's more fun. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:28)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: Loving science like any nerdfighter, he says the pleasure of magicians is that they make something amazing happen where magic isn't possible, which is what humans are good at. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:02:28)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She thinks the internet is teaching us to talk to each other on a scale never seen before; we are just learning the language of mass discussion. — hedged: “I think in many ways” [opinion marker] (00:02:01)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Nat says he has filmed the trophy scene and thinks it went well. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:37)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Nat says the movie is very true to the book: people love it and it is already so realistic that barely anything had to change. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:55)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Nat says his favourite book of all time is The Catcher in the Rye, which, like Hazel, he read at an important time in his life. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:03:16)
2013-10-04 · Q&A with Ansel Elgort and Mike Birbiglia from The Fault in Our Stars Movie Set — Ansel Elgort: Asked for his favorite scene so far, Ansel names a car scene with Gus filmed Friday night (John stops spoilers) and calls it his favorite scene as an actor. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:06)

Hedge words not recorded (1)

marked as unsure, but the hedge words were not quoted

2013-08-13 · Shailene's Hair, Unfair Monopoly, and the Just World Fallacy — Lupe Fiasco (quoted): Lupe Fiasco, in a tweet John reads, asks whether people who harness power can only do so in the tradition of those before them, yielding the same results. — speculative (hedge words not recorded) (00:01:40)

Satire (5)

a mock position (e.g. a fake moral panic) — the opposite of what is meant

2013-06-18 · 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Grace Helbig: Grace's list, first part: call art 'derivative', mention the film Basquiat, carry On the Road, say you watch Bill Maher and love soccer, carry a Moleskine, French-press coffee, a leather messenger bag, smudged glasses. (00:01:19)
2013-06-18 · 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Grace Helbig: Grace's cheese and food markers: know a cheese besides mozzarella or cheddar, own a cheese board or knife, shop at Whole Foods and quiz its cheese counter, Gruyere mac and cheese, truffle oil, scones, a wine decanter; 'a lot of this is about cheese'. (00:02:35)
2013-06-18 · 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Grace Helbig: Grace's media markers: NPR as a car preset, a specific favorite Simpsons episode, finding the new Arrested Development season more nostalgic than groundbreaking, reblogging the New Yorker, Wes Anderson, Ira Glass, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Ken Jennings on Twitter, Alanis Morissette's misuse of 'ironic'. (00:03:15)
2013-06-18 · 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Grace Helbig: Grace's possessions and habits: a typewriter, a telescope, one architecture book, unused Rosetta Stone, a friend with a Prius, whittling, leather furniture, pipes, museum plans, talk of Ethiopian food, a bike on the wall; finally, understanding sarcasm. (00:04:19)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She then mock-reverses herself, urging viewers to answer all the trolls and start a 'Troll Patrol' in this video's comments. (00:03:10)

Fiction (1)

a story or novel read aloud; the words belong to characters

2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — Ashley Clements: Ashley Clements and Daniel Gordh read the Anne Frank House chapter of The Fault in Our Stars, ending with Hazel and Augustus's kiss, the applause and the walk back to the hotel. (00:39:10)

Joke (5)

a gag; not a claim

2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig makes a 'Nerdfighter clone' to practise talking to Nerdfighters; the clone says DFTBA and is sent to decrease worldsuck in the bathroom with a mop. (00:01:43)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig parodies more things John does: Question Tuesday with fake questions, a 'Who the eff is Hank?' answer, Sharpie face (a cracker smashed on his forehead), a Thoughts from Places about his office, an Oscar Wilde reading, and a 'not-airport'. (00:02:07)
2013-07-02 · The Perks of Being John's Assistant — Rosianna Halse Rojas: She jokingly lists duties: having John's Pizza John shirts sorted in rainbow order, his car seat warmed, commuting three days a week to Indianapolis, crossword lookups. (00:00:45)
2013-07-02 · The Perks of Being John's Assistant — Rosianna Halse Rojas: In mock 'security testing', like the NSA, she hacks John's accounts and changes his passwords every three hours, every 15 minutes at 'DFTBA con four'. (00:01:30)
2013-07-02 · The Perks of Being John's Assistant — Rosianna Halse Rojas: Her joke spare-time projects: a library for Henry and Alice from The Jolly Postman to The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and a Globe Theatre replica in John's garden. (00:02:31)

Playful (51)

a real point made in a joking way; the paraphrase records the meant core

2013-01-15 · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall — both: In a lightning round the brothers answer quick questions; one says white chocolate is not chocolate, 'it's just candy', and Hank's pearly-gates answer is 'DFTBA!'. (01:59:42)
2013-01-18 · Thoughts from Carnegie Hall — Emily Graslie: Asked the silliest thing children ask on her museum tours, Emily says they always ask if everything is dead, and yes, everything is dead. (00:03:36)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Emily Graslie: Emily's brownie smells of sriracha; she likes it and says she will put sriracha in all her brownies from now on. (00:01:30)
2013-03-29 · Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Michael Aranda: Michael says all he can think about is how they are going to outdo this next year (2014). (00:03:38)
2013-04-12 · Felicia Day, Hannah Hart, and The Fine Brothers — Felicia Day: Felicia Day says the most common annoying question she gets is what Nathan Fillion smells like. (00:01:01)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig opens by imitating John Green: talking fast, not blinking, dropping pitch before jump cuts and raising his hair's 'puff level'; with glasses he would look exactly like Vsauce. (00:00:01)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig picks up John's joke that WheezyWaiter is his 'real last name', replaying John's line from the previous video. (00:00:23)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig explains he is there because John had a baby - Sarah had the baby, John helped - and they brought Alice Green into the world. (00:00:48)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig recites Hank's list from 'How to Be a Baby Properly' (stuck in the world, cry, sleep 2.5 hours at a time, put stuff in your mouth, cry again, be cute) and says it is what he did in college. (00:01:09)
2013-06-11 · How To Be John Green — Craig Benzine: Craig says he does not hate Vsauce for looking like him; they really are friends. (00:02:27)
2013-06-18 · 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Grace Helbig: Grace Helbig (DailyGrace, daily videos five days a week) fills in for John Green while he is away with his new baby. (00:00:36)
2013-06-18 · 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Grace Helbig: Concluding she is not as smart as the Vlogbrothers, Grace offers to teach how to trick people into thinking you're more intelligent, cultured or socially sophisticated than you are. (00:01:19)
2013-06-21 · New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News — Emily Graslie: A specimen ('he') from her current collection will travel with her on temporary loan to the Field Museum, riding shotgun. (00:01:22)
2013-06-25 · Thoughts from Places: Dog Days of Summer — Hannah Hart: During her travels she spent time with John and his son Henry, whose fondness for hammers she will not soon forget. (00:00:00)
2013-06-25 · Thoughts from Places: Dog Days of Summer — Hannah Hart: Hannah opens with a fake Crash Course intro, then frames her video as a Thoughts from Places about coming home, written at her favourite cafe. (00:00:38)
2013-06-25 · Thoughts from Places: Dog Days of Summer — Hannah Hart: Home for only a day, she has already filled her sink with dishes and has post-tour laundry to do; coming home, she says, sucked. (00:01:34)
2013-06-25 · Thoughts from Places: Dog Days of Summer — Hannah Hart: Wondering whether to get a dog, she visits a friend's dog and decides dog ownership is mostly like cleaning, the thing she is avoiding, plus saliva. (00:02:03)
2013-06-25 · Thoughts from Places: Dog Days of Summer — Hannah Hart: She stops recording because she does not want to go four minutes like Grace did. (00:03:24)
2013-07-02 · The Perks of Being John's Assistant — Rosianna Halse Rojas: She says a large part of her role is scheduling, which she is awesome at, using Craigslist, shared Gmail calendars and Skype credit. (00:00:38)
2013-07-02 · The Perks of Being John's Assistant — Rosianna Halse Rojas: Rosianna says she is a die-hard West Ham United fan; she admits Steven Gerrard is a very talented Liverpool player, even a little handsome, but feels she betrays her beloved Irons. (00:02:12)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: He says that like John he uses vlogs to put off his novel, and must give a lecture on magical realism in a week for a grad school requirement, not yet done. (00:00:00)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: He says in her book The Sugar Queen a girl named Chloe is magically chased around by self-help books trying to solve her problems. (00:01:27)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: Since we can't decrease world suck with Harry Potter spells, he says all we can do is demand more Harry Potter, which still captivates people. (00:01:52)
2013-07-09 · The World Needs More Magic — MagicTurtle643: Given dark wizards and no electronics, he thinks he would rather be a muggle; love potions can't match his love for his Nintendo 3DS. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:01:52)
2013-07-16 · The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Sabrina Cruz: Like a ghost in a Dickens novel, she warns Hank about the annoying things his niece and nephew might do as teenagers, at least according to stereotypes. (00:00:19)
2013-07-16 · The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Sabrina Cruz: She says friends and social life will become more important than anything else, including online interaction, since real life would involve going outside. (00:00:27)
2013-07-16 · The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Sabrina Cruz: She says teen diets range from no food all day to all the food in the world: left alone she forgets to eat, then binges on snacks and sweets. (00:00:44)
2013-07-16 · The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Sabrina Cruz: She says teenagers of all genders will fangirl, sometimes over people older than them, which is weird but nothing to worry about. (00:01:07)
2013-07-16 · The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Sabrina Cruz: She says meme quoting such as YOLO goes from unironic to ironic use and back to unironic again. (00:01:21)
2013-07-16 · The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Sabrina Cruz: She notes her list (slurred speech, bad vision, trouble breathing) sounds like medicine warnings: aging, like medicine, makes us more mature and intelligent with possible negative side effects. (00:01:58)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She says some people dislike the internet for various reasons, like her mom, who is confused by it and afraid she'll break it. (00:00:21)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: To those who dismiss the internet as porn and animated GIFs, she replies that maybe so, but in their youth they also didn't join a political discussion with a thousand people. (00:00:37)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She admits the level of discourse isn't always high: when she filled in during John's first paternity leave, 90% of comments on her first video said John has boobs. (00:00:55)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She says no one knows how to internet, and anyone who claims to should go eat some watermelon, the only thing that makes sense in this mixed-up world. (00:03:28)
2013-07-23 · Watermelon Internet Trolls — Maureen Johnson: She tells viewers to follow her on Twitter, saying she is not great at videos but very, very good at Twitter. (00:03:39)
2013-09-10 · Secrets of the Movies: Thoughts from The Fault in Our Stars Set — Ansel Elgort: Asked whether he has read the book, Ansel Elgort says yes, jokes that it was all right, then says he loved it. (00:02:59)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Asked if Shailene Woodley is a good kisser, Nat says he wouldn't know: Isaac doesn't get to kiss Hazel. (00:00:28)
2013-09-17 · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie) — Nat Wolff: Nat apologises to tweeters about his not being blonde: neither of his parents is blonde, so he couldn't control it. (00:01:22)
2013-10-04 · Q&A with Ansel Elgort and Mike Birbiglia from The Fault in Our Stars Movie Set — Ansel Elgort: Ansel says he thinks 'Johnsel' is already a thing, and ships it too. — hedged: “I think” [opinion marker] (00:00:46)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — both: Asked who would win at arm wrestling, the brothers arm-wrestle; John concedes, saying he could have kept going but was laughing too hard, and Hank claims he won with his wit. (00:00:27)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — both: Both brothers say they have cried at one of John's books, Hank joking that he looked at it and cried. (00:00:43)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — both: Giving each other catchphrases, Hank gives John 'Imagine complexly!' and John gives Hank 'fart fart fart'. (00:00:52)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — both: Hank would not eat John if John were the last turkey on Earth; John is amused that anyone would eat the last turkey on Earth, which Hank likens to eating the last ivory-billed woodpecker. (00:01:48)
2013-11-29 · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John! — both: They show drawings of each other: Hank's on sparkle-pen paper, apparently with a Hanklerfish earring for John, and John's of Hank as a beaver playing the guitar. (00:02:14)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Mike Green: Mike says they didn't want him to be a Bill or a Willie and liked 'Hank' as cute, but realizes the name has been a monumental pain for Hank. (00:00:41)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Mike Green: Mike says newborn Hank was a little blue and did not have a very high APGAR score. (00:01:14)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Mike Green: Mike describes John as a child as wonderful, a little troubled and lonely. (00:01:39)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Sydney Green: Sydney says John was always into embellishing the truth. (00:01:44)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Mike Green: Mike recalls five-year-old John calmly lying down on his back in the Miami airport and saying it was just too much and he couldn't take it anymore. (00:01:47)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Sydney Green: Sydney recalls that small Hank, who could not yet really talk, once got tired of John yelling at him and took a hammer to him. (00:02:04)
2013-12-13 · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday — Sydney Green: Sydney says their friends and family clearly understand what John does, but not what Hank does with the videos. (00:02:21)