Question Tuesday

John's (and sometimes Hank's) recurring Q&A video: 94 episodes in 2007–2026 answer 834 viewer questions. An episode here is a video titled "Question Tuesday" (or Question Friday and the like), or one the analysis tags with the Question Tuesday ritual that answers at least 3 viewer prompts. Questions are listed in the order they are answered. Back to the overview.

2007

August 30th: A Secret Project for Nerdfighters

2007-08-30 · John, Hank · 5 questions · August 30th: A Secret Project for Nerdfighters

• Q: “Why do they call her the Yeti, John?” (00:00:45)
  • John & Hank (joke): Asked which brother is which and why Sarah is called the Yeti, they introduce themselves and joke that she is so hairy. (00:00:45)
• Q: “Why is there an I missing in communication in the animated intro?” (00:00:45)
  • John & Hank: Asked why an 'I' is missing from 'communication' in the animated intro, they answer that there is no I in brotherhood. (00:00:45)
• Q: “How do you become a nerdfighter?” (00:01:14)
  • John & Hank: Anyone who wants to become a nerdfighter probably already is one; technically you should go to Brotherhood2.com and write a song. (00:01:14)
• Q: “How do you become a secret sibling?” (00:01:14)
  • John & Hank: To become a secret sibling, make a video response to one of their YouTube videos, preferably several, every day. (00:01:14)
• Q: “Whatever happened to that?” (00:01:43)
  • John: Asked about the compilation they said in January they would make, they admit they didn't; John jokes there are '70 million' abandoned Brotherhood 2.0 projects, like Question Tuesdays and his tote-bag giveaway. (00:01:43)

December 4th: Question Tuesday!!!!

2007-12-04 · John · 12 questions · December 4th: Question Tuesday!!!!

• Q: “I signed up for the mailing list, but I can't seem to get your emails. Why is that?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked why sign-ups aren't getting the emails, John says they may be in spam (unblock nerdbot@ and hank@brotherhood2.com) or blocked by Hotmail, which the brothers are working on. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” (00:00:39)
  • John: Asked the woodchuck riddle, John says woodchucks cannot chuck wood, but a wildlife biologist calculated that if they could they would chuck about 700 pounds a day. (00:00:39)
• Q: “Why is the name of your website Sparks Fly Up?” (00:00:39)
  • John: Asked why his website is called Sparks Fly Up, John says the name comes from a line in the Book of Job: man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward. (00:00:39)
• Q: “What's your stance on gay marriage?” (00:00:39)
  • John: Asked his stance on gay marriage, John says he is for it. (00:00:39)
• Q: “How many books do you own?” (00:00:39)
  • John: John says he owns around 1,300 books. (00:00:39)
• Q: “Are you dreading the end of the year or are you looking forward to it?” (00:01:08)
  • John: Asked about the end of the year, John says writer Amy Krouse Rosenthal taught him the word wabi-sabi and he feels very wabi-sabi about it all. (00:01:08)
• Q: “What's the best video game you've ever played?” (00:01:38)
  • John: John says the best video game he has played is Wii Tennis, at a 2,399 skill level, and that he has played video games since Christmas Day 1984. (00:01:38)
• Q: “Can an SUV owner be a nerdfighter?” (00:01:38)
  • John: Asked whether an SUV owner can be a nerdfighter, John says clearly yes. (00:01:38)
• Q: “What do you find so appealing about Walt Whitman's Song of Myself?” (00:02:07)
  • John: Asked what appeals to him in Walt Whitman's Song of Myself, John says readers will find out when Paper Towns comes out, in September. (00:02:07)
• Q: “What does the Yeti look like?” (00:02:48)
  • John (joke): Asked what the Yeti looks like, John says she looks kind of like a kitten wrestling a rainbow. (00:02:48)
• Q: “Do you think it's inevitable that humans will one day be controlled by robots?” (00:03:35)
  • John: Asked whether robots will inevitably control humans, John says he unfortunately thinks people will go extinct before robots can take over. (00:03:35)
• Q: “What's our scavenger hunt clue?” (00:03:35)
  • John: John gives the scavenger hunt clue: in New York City a baby penguin is flanked by two baby Washington monuments, and opening the door of one reveals a prize. (00:03:35)

Dec 18th: The Project for Awesome and Question Tuesday!!!

2007-12-18 · John · 7 questions · Dec 18th: The Project for Awesome and Question Tuesday!!!

• Q: “Is there going to be a punishment before the end of the year?” (00:00:39)
  • John: Answering whether there will be a punishment before year's end, John says yes: Hank communicated with him in the comments of Nalts's video, so Hank will be punished. (00:00:39)
• Q: “If a Nerdfighter falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear her fall, is she still made of awesome?” (00:01:09)
  • John: Asked whether a Nerdfighter alone in the forest is still made of awesome, John says Nerdfighters are even more awesome when they act nerdfighterly with no one watching. (00:01:09)
• Q: “What's the meaning of life?” (00:01:09)
  • John: Asked the meaning of life, John answers: other people. (00:01:09)
• Q: “What unit is awesome measured in?” (00:01:09)
  • John: John says the unit of awesome must be giga-cools rather than kilo-cools, because there is too much awesome. (00:01:09)
• Q: “Do authors really put as much symbolism into their books as English teachers seem to think you guys do?” (00:02:07)
  • John: Asked whether authors really put in as much symbolism as English teachers think, John says they do, but that even if they didn't, the reading experience would be equally rich without authorial intent; a Hamlet typed by monkeys would still be good. (00:02:07)
• Q: “Is your book looking for Alaska based on real life experience?” (00:02:07)
  • John: Asked whether Looking for Alaska is based on real-life experience, John answers yes and no. (00:02:07)
• Q: “What is the book you most wish you'd written?” (00:02:36)
  • John: Asked which book he most wishes he had written, John names Huck Finn. (00:02:36)

2008

The Return of Question Tuesdays

2008-01-08 · John · 15 questions · The Return of Question Tuesdays

• Q: “Would you rather have an elephant-sized puppy or a puppy-sized elephant?” (00:00:00)
  • John (joke): Asked whether he'd rather have an elephant-sized puppy or a puppy-sized elephant, John picks the puppy-sized elephant and writes a letter asking Evolution to make him one. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Who would win American Gladiators, Pirates or Ninjas?” (00:00:00)
  • John (joke): Asked who would win American Gladiators, pirates or ninjas, John picks ninjas over scurvy-ridden pirates. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Is Hank gonna write any more songs?” (00:00:36)
  • John: Asked whether Hank will write more songs, John passes the question to Hank. (00:00:36)
• Q: “Who the F is Hank?” (00:00:36)
  • John (joke): Asked 'Who the F is Hank?', John answers in the style of an astronomy entry: Hank is a ball of ice and rock once considered the ninth planet. (00:00:36)
• Q: “So how often are you doing videos now? Once a week?” (00:01:06)
  • John: John says one of the brothers will post at least one video per week, and on other days there will be pictures and videos from Nerdfighteria on the Ning. (00:01:06)
• Q: “When will your next book signing be?” (00:01:06)
  • John: John expects to tour a lot when Paper Towns comes out in September and says he will let viewers know about signings. (00:01:06)
• Q: “What word do you hate saying and why?” (00:01:06)
  • John: Asked what word he hates saying, John names 'celebrity': he thinks the world would be better if the word and the idea behind it ceased to exist. (00:01:06)
• Q: “Would you rather be a Game Boy, a Teletubby, Harry Potter, or George L-” (00:01:06)
  • John (joke): Offered Game Boy, Teletubby, Harry Potter or George Lucas, John picks Harry Potter as the only 'real human', joking that a robot killed Lucas and made episodes 1-3. (00:01:35)
• Q: “What was the name of that Russian ska song in the Happy Dance video?” (00:01:35)
  • John: John says the Russian ska song in the Happy Dance video was called 'Think'. (00:01:35)
• Q: “If you put the narrators from your two books together, mixed them into a big pot, and then boiled out some fiction, at the bottom of that pot would you eventually have your your adolescent self?” (00:01:35)
  • John: Asked whether his two narrators combined would make his adolescent self, John says 'kinda', but notes differences: for one, he wasn't a good student in high school. (00:02:04)
• Q: “How's your diet coming along?” (00:02:04)
  • John: Asked about his diet and Weight Watchers, John protests that it isn't going well and the questions are mean. (00:02:04)
• Q: “Does writing about symbolism slash other English stuff really help you become a writer?” (00:02:04)
  • John: John argues that writing about symbolism and other 'English stuff' really does help you become a writer, because it shows how good stories work. (00:02:04)
• Q: “All-time favorite song?” (00:03:02)
  • John: John names 'New Partner' by the Palace Brothers as his all-time favourite song. (00:03:02)
• Q: “When will the movie of your book looking for- Alaska come out?” (00:03:02)
  • John: Asked when the Looking for Alaska movie will come out, John says he doesn't know; it's not in his hands. (00:03:02)
• Q: “What is the most useless piece of trivia you know?” (00:03:32)
  • John: John's most useless trivia: the political philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau really liked mooning people. (00:03:32)

QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday)

2008-02-08 · John · 9 questions · QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday)

• Q: “Are you doing any readings or public events in the near future?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says he will perform that night (21 and over) at the Hideout in Chicago with his friend Mark Bazer (name as heard). (00:00:00)
• Q: “What happened in Depew, New York, where a few people were trying to remove your book from the curriculum?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John reports many people attended Tuesday's (5 February 2008) Depew school board meeting on his book, which he appreciates, but procedure let none of them speak. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Is there an official release date for Paper Towns?” (00:00:36)
  • John: John gives Paper Towns' official release date as October 16th, joking that he had been lying when he said September. (00:00:36)
• Q: “Who the F is Hank?” (00:01:05)
  • John (joke): Asked 'Who the F is Hank?', John answers with a mock spy dossier: CIA veteran, Navy SEAL, operative of a clandestine NSA division. (00:01:05)
• Q: “Is Looking for Alaska a great book or the greatest book?” (00:02:06)
  • John: John says Looking for Alaska is neither a great book nor the greatest book, but hopes it is good. (00:02:06)
• Q: “Was the character Alaska in your book Looking for Alaska based on a real person?” (00:02:36)
  • John: John says the character Alaska is not simply based on a real person: in some ways she is based on him, in other ways on other people. (00:02:36)
• Q: “Could God create a burrito so hot that even God couldn't eat it?” (00:02:36)
  • John: John calls the God-burrito omnipotence question 'a question wrongly put'; omnipotence questions interest him, but he thinks the question for believers is how and whether God works in the world and we can join that work. (00:02:36)
• Q: “If two Nerdfighters have a baby, is the baby born awesome or does the baby have to develop into awesome?” (00:03:12)
  • John: John introduces Daniel Biss as Brotherhood 2.0's resident mathematician and future state congressperson, asks whether his new baby looked awesome on the ultrasound, and concludes babies are born awesome. (00:03:12)
• Q: “If you were forced to get a tattoo, what would it be?” (00:03:36)
  • John: If forced to get a tattoo, John would probably get DFTBA on his hand, to remind himself he is supposed to be awesome. (00:03:36)

People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes

2008-02-21 · John · 11 questions · People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes

• Q: “What's your favorite graphic novel of all time?” (00:01:06)
  • John: Asked for his favourite graphic novel, John picks Maus by Art Spiegelman. (00:01:07)
• Q: “If you were going on a long trip to the evil baby orphanage” (00:01:10)
  • John: For a trip to the Evil Baby Orphanage John would take A Love Supreme by John Coltrane and something by the Mountain Goats, though evil baby Stalin would steal them. (00:01:14)
• Q: “You get to have a one-hour conversation with a Disney character.” (00:01:21)
  • John: Given an hour with a Disney character, John would ask Mickey how it feels to be single-handedly responsible for the death of reasonable American copyright law. (00:01:24)
• Q: “What's the most interesting nickname you've ever had?” (00:01:30)
  • John: In high school John said Christian Slater had never made a bad movie, and people called him 'Kuffs' for a long time afterwards. (00:01:32)
• Q: “Why do you think that all the most viewed vlogbrothers videos are by Hank?” (00:01:39)
  • John: Asked why the most-viewed Vlogbrothers videos are Hank's, John guesses Hank is funnier, but says one owes its views to a screenshot of two giraffes having sex. (00:01:42)
• Q: “If you had to vote for a republican presidential candidate,” (00:02:14)
  • John: Asked which Republican presidential candidate he'd vote for, John jokes Abraham Lincoln; of living ones, he votes for the individual not the party and wants none of them. (00:02:17)
• Q: “Why wouldn't you let Maureen Johnson, who had read your new book Paper Towns,” (00:02:27)
  • John: Asked why Maureen Johnson, who has read Paper Towns, can't talk about it, John says for the same reason Hank can't: it's secret. (00:02:31)
• Q: “The Iliad or the Odyssey?” (00:02:52)
  • John: Asked to choose between the Iliad and the Odyssey, John picks the Odyssey. (00:02:53)
• Q: “Has Helen Hunt seen The Helen Hunt Song yet?” (00:02:54)
  • John: Asked whether Helen Hunt has seen the Helen Hunt song, John says no and tells Nerdfighters to keep fighting. (00:02:56)
• Q: “How old is the yeti?” (00:02:57)
  • John: John says the Yeti is 28, and that seeing her would take money for a long expedition to Nepal. (00:02:58)
• Q: “Which one of the presidential candidates would you most wanna play Twister with?” (00:03:04)
  • John (joke): John jokes he'd play Twister with Mike Huckabee, who doesn't look flexible, and that Ron Paul's Twister would drop every colour but yellow for freedom and cost; he expects Paul's supporters to attack. (00:03:07)

SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD

2008-03-04 · John · 15 questions · SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD

• Q: “Did you have any fishing boat proceeds this year?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked about fishing boat proceeds, John says only the hardest-core nerdfighters will get the reference: another year with no profit from the ocean's bounty. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What advice can you give to young writers?” (00:00:28)
  • John: John's advice to young writers: read. (00:00:28)
• Q: “What do you think was the best movie of last year?” (00:00:28)
  • John: John names favourites: 'Left on the Right Side of the Road' by Songs from a Hat, Juno as last year's (2007) best movie, Rushmore as his one movie, and the Mountain Goats' 'Up the Wolves'. (00:00:28)
• Q: “What's your favorite quote?” (00:00:28)
  • John: John's favourite quote: 'You shall love your crooked neighbor with your crooked heart.' (00:00:28)
• Q: “What is the opposite of jokes?” (00:00:28)
  • John: Asked for the opposite of 'jokes', John answers 'tragedies' and uses it in a sentence. (00:00:28)
• Q: “Would you rather drink your own pee or vote for one of the current Republican candidates?” (00:00:57)
  • John: Asked whether he'd rather drink his own pee or vote for a current Republican candidate, John says it depends on how much pee: a few drops, sure. (00:00:57)
• Q [request]: “I was wondering if I could just, like, come by your house someday.” (00:00:57)
  • John: A viewer living an hour away asks to come by John's house; John says that would be totally weird. (00:00:57)
• Q: “If all the nerdfighters in the universe collaborated together to write a book, what would it be about?” (00:01:27)
  • John: John says a book written by all nerdfighters should be about the Evil Baby Orphanage, which would be a dream come true for him. (00:01:27)
• Q [request]: “Can we have Daniel Biss make a cameo on a video?” (00:01:56)
  • John: Asked whether Daniel Biss can make a cameo in a video, John says absolutely. (00:01:56)
• Q: “Any book recommendations?” (00:01:56)
  • John: John recommends Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson and Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes-Courter. (00:01:56)
• Q: “Is there going to be a character named Hollis in Paper Towns?” (00:02:22)
  • John: John says there will be no character named Hollis in Paper Towns, though it is a funny question to hardcore fans of his books. (00:02:22)
• Q: “Why doesn't the Yeti want to be seen?” (00:02:22)
  • John: The Yeti isn't seen on camera because, John says, her cute would break the camera. (00:02:22)
• Q: “Why does no one at school talk to me even though I'm an intelligent, okay-looking, and funny 17-year-old?” (00:02:51)
  • John: To a 17-year-old whom no one at school talks to, John says he wishes he had an answer, but lots of people will talk to them at the Ning. (00:02:51)
• Q: “If you could make one world problem go away forever, what would it be?” (00:03:20)
  • John: Answering several questions at once, John says yes to a trip to Nepal and to using his radio pieces as monologues, and names poverty as the world problem he would make go away. (00:03:20)
• Q: “Are you guys ever going to throw a nerdfighting convention?” (00:03:50)
  • John: Asked whether the brothers will ever throw a nerdfighting convention, John says he doesn't know, maybe, and asks what viewers think. (00:03:50)

Belated Book-tacular Questions

2008-04-21 · John · 17 questions · Belated Book-tacular Questions

• Q: “Paper Towns, dedicated to the nerdfighters or no?” (00:00:53)
  • John: Paper Towns is not dedicated to the Nerdfighters, but they are in the acknowledgements. (00:00:53)
• Q: “What's your favorite reference book about Islam?” (00:00:53)
  • John: John's favorite reference book about Islam is No God But God by Reza Aslan. (00:00:53)
• Q: “Will you ever write a sequel to one of your books?” (00:00:53)
  • John: John probably won't write a sequel to one of his books, though he might write a sequel to a non-existent book. (00:00:53)
• Q: “Who's your favorite German writer?” (00:01:22)
  • John: John's favorite German writer is Goethe, whose individual sentences, he says, outclass his entire body of work. (00:01:22)
• Q: “What's your favorite book title to add in your pants to?” (00:01:22)
  • John: For the 'in your pants' game, John's favorite book title at the moment is Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Little Pea. (00:01:22)
• Q: “I'm interested in conjoined twins. What are your favorite books on the subject?” (00:01:22)
  • John: John, who owns many books on conjoined twins, recommends One of Us by Alice Dreger (nonfiction) and God's Fool by Mark Slouka (fiction). (00:01:22)
• Q: “Who is the most interesting author you've ever met?” (00:01:52)
  • John: The most interesting author John has met is Judy Blume. (00:01:52)
• Q: “How long is Paper Towns?” (00:01:52)
  • John: Paper Towns is 308 pages long if the acknowledgements are counted. (00:01:52)
• Q: “What's going on with those people who are trying to ban looking for Alaska?” (00:01:52)
  • John: On the effort to ban Looking for Alaska: the school board of Depew, New York, which John calls made of awesome, voted unanimously to keep it in the curriculum. (00:01:52)
• Q: “If you and Hank were characters in the book Into Thin Air, would you survive?” (00:01:52)
  • John: John says he and Hank would not survive as characters in Into Thin Air; he would die on the walk to Everest. (00:01:52)
• Q: “How come your website is called sparksflyup.com?” (00:01:52)
  • John: John's website name sparksflyup.com comes from a line in the Book of Job: man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward. (00:01:52)
• Q: “What's your favorite personification of death in literature?” (00:02:30)
  • John: John's favorite personification of death in literature is in Andrew Marvell's poem To His Coy Mistress. (00:02:30)
• Q: “Any favorite poets other than Walt Whitman?” (00:03:00)
  • John: Asked for favorite poets besides Walt Whitman, John recites unattributed lines from several poems, then can't find his Langston Hughes book in his cataloged home library. (00:03:00)
• Q: “What are your favorite last words from an author?” (00:03:00)
  • John: John recounts Emily Dickinson's last words ('I must go in, the fog is rising') and that Edna St. Vincent Millay died falling downstairs, her head on a poem ending 'Beautiful this day, no matter who has died'. (00:03:00)
• Q: “What do you think Shakespeare would vlog about?” (00:03:00)
  • John: John says Shakespeare would vlog about the poor quality of insults on YouTube. (00:03:00)
• Q: “What's your opinion on Catcher in the Rye?” (00:03:45)
  • John: John thinks The Catcher in the Rye is excellent and that anyone who disagrees is, respectfully, wrong. (00:03:45)
• Q: “What's your favorite line in Hamlet?” (00:03:45)
  • John: John's favorite line in Hamlet is 'The rest is silence.' (00:03:45)

Guys Love Giraffe Love

2008-05-20 · John · 7 questions · Guys Love Giraffe Love

• Q: “What's your favorite band?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked for favourites, John names The Mountain Goats as his band, Mother Night as his favourite Vonnegut novel and Song of Solomon as his favourite Toni Morrison book. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How does Steinbeck's Indubious Battle relate to the average teenager's life?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked how In Dubious Battle relates to teenagers, John rejects the idea that readers must identify with characters to enjoy a book; it is about group psychology and the machine and its cogs. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Edward or Jacob?” (00:00:41)
  • John: On Edward or Jacob, John calls Edward Cullen a beautiful but empty vessel for our hopes; people who are mostly ideas attract more, but loving one is not sustainable, so he picks Jacob. (00:00:41)
• Q: “What's the key to becoming a popular video blogger on YouTube?” (00:01:10)
  • John: Asked the key to YouTube popularity, John says YouTube's new demographics feature shows Nerdfighters are extremely loyal, which he thinks is because nerdfighting is something they all do together. (00:01:10)
• Q: “What would you like your last words to be?” (00:01:44)
  • John: Asked for his last words, John says romantic last words are almost always lame; the only exception he knows, W. C. Fields's words to Carlotta, is spoiled because she was his mistress. (00:01:44)
• Q: “Have you ever been really jealous of Hank?” (00:02:13)
  • John: Asked if he is jealous of Hank, John says no, although Hank has eight of their nine most viewed videos. (00:02:13)
• Q: “If you could choose between getting a million dollars and going back in time and punching Hitler in the face, what would you choose?” (00:02:42)
  • John (joke): Choosing between a million dollars and punching Hitler, John would time-travel to put evil baby Hitler, Stalin, Idi Amin and others in the Evil Baby Orphanage in Tibet, then sell the time machine. (00:02:42)

Don't Suck on That Bone

2008-06-26 · John, Sarah Urist Green · 8 questions · Don't Suck on That Bone

• Q [request]: “One, see more Willy. Two, see more of the Yeti.” (00:00:00)
  • John: John frames the video as doing ten things the Nerdfighters asked of him; the first two were to see more of Willy and more of the Yeti (Sarah). (00:00:00)
• Q [request]: “Thing three, learn a few phrases of the Tobian language.” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says, like any foreign-language course, the Tobian site teaches ridiculous sentences, and recites three, planning to visit Tobi knowing only those. (00:00:48)
• Q [request]: “Thing four, walk somewhere you would usually drive.” (00:01:17)
  • John: For thing four, walking somewhere he would usually drive, John walks to the location of thing ten and films the rest of the video on the way. (00:01:17)
• Q [request]: “Thing five, spend more time at the Ning.” (00:01:17)
  • John: For thing five, more time on the Ning, John updated its favorite photos and started text-based Question Tuesdays there; Hank added a poll to vote on favorite Going Postal blurbs. (00:01:17)
• Q [request]: “Speaking of which, thing six, bring back the Nerdfighter blurbing book club.” (00:01:47)
  • John: For thing six, John brings back the Nerdfighter Blurbing Book Club; its new book is The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger. (00:01:47)
• Q [request]: “Thing 8, Hank the Nerdfighters want me to be like you and give an Xbox worth of money to a charity.” (00:02:45)
  • John: Asked (thing eight) to be like Hank and give an Xbox's worth of money to a charity, John says he already did so before leaving, to Save the Children. (00:02:45)
• Q [request]: “Thing 9, do a question Tuesday next Tuesday.” (00:02:45)
  • John: Agreeing to thing nine, John will do a Question Tuesday next Tuesday (1 July 2008) and asks Nerdfighters to leave him questions and comments. (00:02:45)
• Q [request]: “And finally, Hank thing 10, go into a bookstore and secretly sign one of your books.” (00:02:45)
  • John: For thing ten, John goes into a bookstore to secretly sign one of his books, calling it one of his favorite secret hobbies; finding that the store seems not to have his books, he wonders what to sign. (00:02:45)

Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer

2008-07-08 (said on 2008-07-07, implied) · John, Sydney Green · 6 questions · Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer

• Q: “Was Brotherhood 2.0 initially your idea or was it Hank's?” (00:00:25)
  • John: John says Brotherhood 2.0 was initially his idea; he has a crazy idea every 45 minutes and relies on Hank to reject them, but Hank said this one was not terrible. (00:00:25)
• Q: “What did you do before you became an author?” (00:00:43)
  • John: Before becoming an author, John worked for most of his post-college life at Booklist magazine, and also as a children's hospital chaplain and on a Steak 'n Shake graveyard shift. (00:00:43)
• Q: “What's the meanest thing you ever did to Hank?” (00:01:24)
  • John: John sums up that, according to their mom, the meanest thing Hank did to him was try to kill him with a hammer, and his own was spilling red cough syrup on Hank's bedspread and hugging him too hard. (00:02:33)
• Q: “How often do you get recognized?” (00:02:48)
  • John: John says he is recognized fairly often in big public spaces and finds it nice to meet Nerdfighters; at Disneyland's Indiana Jones ride a fan's little brother asked if he was wearing a disguise. (00:02:48)
• Q: “What advice do you have for writers who can't seem to finish their books?” (00:03:12)
  • John: To writers who can't finish their books, John offers little advice beyond 'just keep at it', noting it took him four years to finish Looking for Alaska. (00:03:12)
• Q [request]: “Can I have one of the advanced readers copies of Paper Towns?” (00:03:22)
  • John: John has no Paper Towns advance copies to give away; earlier winners are still waiting for theirs, which he hopes to rectify tomorrow. (00:03:22)

Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday)

2008-08-06 · John · 12 questions · Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday)

• Q: “What's going on with the Nerdfighter event in Chicago on 8808?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked about the 8/8/08 Nerdfighter event in Chicago, John says the Harold Washington Library will try to accommodate everyone for the 2 p.m. event, and there will be awesome for those who cannot get in. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Do you get nervous when you talk in front of a large group of people?” (00:00:45)
  • John: John says he gets extremely nervous speaking to large groups, and on video he looks like his seventh-grade self attempting to fast dance. (00:00:45)
• Q: “Why are you only charging $3.99 for the new paperback of an abundance of Katherines?” (00:00:45)
  • John: Asked why the new An Abundance of Katherines paperback costs only $3.99, John says books are generally too expensive, he would rather have readers than money, and it thanks readers in advance for buying Paper Towns. (00:00:45)
• Q: “What college did you attend?” (00:01:10)
  • John: John says he attended Kenyon for college and Indian Springs School for high school. (00:01:10)
• Q: “What would your autobiography be called?” (00:01:40)
  • John: Asked for his autobiography title, John offers "Does My Eye Look Okay to You?" or "As the Puff Riseth", each subtitled "The John Green Story". (00:01:40)
• Q: “How did you propose to the Yeti?” (00:02:09)
  • John: John says he proposed to the Yeti by having Hendrik Hertzberg, a writer she likes whom he met at a conference, sign a book to Sarah asking "Will you marry John Green?". (00:02:09)
• Q: “If you were a superhero, who would you be?” (00:02:09)
  • John: Asked which superhero he would be, John names Pants Power, the superhero with power pants created by his "secret sister" Debbie. (00:02:09)
• Q: “How soon after you finish one Do you start on the next one?” (00:02:09)
  • John: Asked how soon after finishing one he starts the next, John says pretty much the next day, because he worries that if he waits longer he will just stop. (00:02:38)
• Q: “What's your favorite Hank song?” (00:02:38)
  • John: John names "Helen Hunt" as his favourite Hank song, with "I Sold Your Dog on eBay" as his dark-horse pick because you can rock out to it. (00:02:38)
• Q [request]: “Can I get a copy of the Green Green Manifesto?” (00:02:38)
  • John: John says he has just posted the Green Green Manifesto on the Ning. (00:02:38)
• Q: “Will there be another Project for Awesome?” (00:03:07)
  • John: Asked whether there will be another Project for Awesome, John answers that Secret Brother Tom did not call it the "first annual" Project for Awesome for nothing. (00:03:07)
• Q: “Did Hank get better grades than you?” (00:03:07)
  • John: John says Hank got better grades than he did. (00:03:07)

Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday

2008-09-23 · John · 7 questions · Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday

• Q: “When does Paper Towns come out?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says Paper Towns comes out in 22 days, on October 16, and repeats the date several times. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Why aren't you coming to Dallas, Washington, D.C., Tucson, Arizona, Tempe, New Mexico?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Answering why the tour skips certain cities, John says that over the next five to six weeks he is going everywhere he possibly can. (00:00:43)
• Q: “Are you going to be doing any events before your tour starts?” (00:01:12)
  • John: Before the tour, John will be in the Twin Cities this Friday (26 September 2008) and Saturday and at a public event in Berlin, Germany, on October 1. (00:01:12)
• Q: “Are these events free and open to the public?” (00:01:41)
  • John: John says the events are entirely free and open to the public, and tickets are not needed except in a couple of cases. (00:01:41)
• Q: “Do you know the girl on the cover of Paper Towns?” (00:02:10)
  • John: John does not know the girl on the Paper Towns cover personally but helped pick her; he says she is Canadian. (00:02:10)
• Q: “Have you picked a punishment yet?” (00:02:10)
  • John: John says the brothers do not pick their punishment; Nerdfighters do, and he names the most popular suggestions. (00:02:10)
• Q: “Will we finally get to see the Yeti?” (00:03:09)
  • John: John says the Yeti will be at many of the events, unless he has been making her up all along. (00:03:09)

Question Friday

2008-10-11 (said on 2008-10-10, implied) · John · 8 questions · Question Friday

• Q: “Will Paper Towns be out in Canada at the same time as it will be in the United States?” (00:00:29)
  • John: Asked, John says Paper Towns will be out in Canada at the same time as in the United States. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Do you think deconstructionism as a part of literary criticism - and take something away from the author?” (00:00:29)
  • John: Asked whether deconstructionism takes something away from the author, John says maybe, but authors don't own books, readers do. (00:00:58)
• Q: “Is Bubbles the nerdfighting puppy neutered?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Asked if the Nerdfighting puppy is neutered, John says yes, joking that he had threatened to castrate Willy for peeing inside and then did it. (00:00:58)
• Q: “We know that Joe Biden anagrams to I Need Job, but does Sarah Palin anagram to anything interesting?” (00:01:43)
  • John: John says Joe Biden anagrams to 'I Need Job' and Sarah Palin to 'Las Pirana'. (00:01:43)
• Q: “What's going to happen at these nerdfighter gatherings?” (00:01:43)
  • John: At the Nerdfighter gatherings, John says, songs will be sung, Paper Towns read, books discussed, questions answered and stuff signed. (00:02:37)
• Q: “Are you an octopus?” (00:01:43)
  • John (joke): Asked if he is an octopus, John reasons an octopus would stick to the wall if he jumped against it, and declares he is not an octopus. (00:01:43)
• Q: “How do you feel about paper towns being sold early in some places?” (00:02:37)
  • John: John is not thrilled that Paper Towns is being sold early in some places but says there is nothing he can do about it. (00:02:37)
• Q: “Will you sign books other than Paper Towns while you're on tour?” (00:03:15)
  • John: John will sign books other than Paper Towns on tour, anything except skin. (00:03:15)

2009

Giraffe Love and Other Questions ANSWERED

2009-01-03 (said on 2009-01-02, implied) · John · 4 questions · Giraffe Love and Other Questions ANSWERED

• Q: “Are you aware that, on average” (00:00:21)
  • John: John agrees and, as previously noted, says people love giraffes who love giraffes, maybe because giraffe mating habits are fascinating. (00:00:27)
• Q: “Are you thinking about writing more books?” (00:01:28)
  • John: John says he is contracted to write at least three more books. (00:01:28)
• Q: “Are you an optimist with regard to the future of humanity?” (00:01:37)
  • John: John calls himself an optimist only in the sense that he thinks humanity's relentless attempt to extinguish itself will fail for the foreseeable future. (00:01:37)
• Q: “Are you Kurt Vonnegut?” (00:01:47)
  • John: Asked whether he is Kurt Vonnegut, John says he wishes he were. (00:01:47)

Paper Towns Tastic Question Tuesday

2009-02-10 · John · 14 questions · Paper Towns Tastic Question Tuesday

• Q: “What is Paper Towns about?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says Paper Towns is about Margo Roth Spiegelman, her next-door neighbour Q, the state of Florida and Walt Whitman. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How did Song of Myself get to be so central to the plot of Paper Towns?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Song of Myself is central because it is a beautiful poem deeply involved with how we can imagine other people more effectively (and, he jokes, Whitman is hot). (00:00:00)
• Q: “Will Paper Towns ever be a movie?” (00:00:00)
  • John: The Paper Towns movie rights were acquired by Mr. Mudd and Mandate, the people behind Juno. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How'd you pick the character names?” (00:00:46)
  • John: Margo is the book's mirror maker: people looking at her see a funhouse-mirror reflection of themselves, not what is true of her, hence the two different, equally inaccurate covers. (00:00:46)
• Q: “I'm 20 years old. Am I too old to enjoy Paper Towns?” (00:00:46)
  • John: Asked by a 20-year-old whether they are too old for the book, John says no: that day an 82-year-old woman emailed that she liked it. (00:00:46)
• Q: “Is the way Q misimagines Margo similar to the way that Pudge misimagines Alaska in your first novel?” (00:01:22)
  • John: Q's misimagining of Margo resembles Pudge's of Alaska; John argues that imagining someone as more than a person does them and ourselves a profound disservice. (00:01:22)
• Q: “I would like you to talk more about the use of colors in the book and what each color is meant to represent.” (00:01:22)
  • John: On colours: the book has much Moby-Dick in it (white imagery, Black Santas, Margo's middle name meaning red); like Melville, John wanted to subvert white as a symbol of purity and put Margo outside the good/evil dichotomy. (00:01:51)
• Q: “How many of the details in your novel are purposeful and how many are random?” (00:01:51)
  • John: Ideally nothing in a novel is totally random, John says, though asked about Ben's beer sword he concedes some things are random. (00:01:51)
• Q: “Is Q based on your high school self?” (00:01:51)
  • John: Q is not really based on John's high-school self; he thinks they share nothing except being tall and vaguely nerdy. (00:01:51)
• Q: “Will Paper Towns ever be a paperback?” (00:02:36)
  • John: The Paper Towns paperback will be out at the end of this year (2009). (00:02:36)
• Q: “Where'd you get the idea for the Black Santa collection?” (00:02:36)
  • John: The book is about how we misimagine other people and our stories; Radar's parents own the world's largest Black Santa collection because John finds it funny and it asks us to imagine the world more complexly. (00:02:36)
• Q: “Did you ever find yourself writing directly from experience?” (00:02:36)
  • John: John very rarely steals directly from his own experience, though he says there are two occasions where he clearly did. (00:02:36)
• Q: “Would you agree with the opinion that you have written the modern-day Great Gatsby?” (00:03:05)
  • John: Paper Towns shares many of The Great Gatsby's questions, above all whether there is such a thing as the self-made man; John then jokingly declines the 'modern-day Gatsby' label. (00:03:05)
• Q: “Did you have any alternate titles for Paper Towns?” (00:03:27)
  • John: Alternate titles: 'More Light Than Heat', from a line in Hamlet, and 'Under the Red, the White, and the Blue', one of Fitzgerald's alternate titles for Gatsby. (00:03:27)

How to Get Girls to Like You

2009-03-10 · John · 4 questions · How to Get Girls to Like You

• Q: “Where and when is your event in Amsterdam next week?” (00:00:18)
  • John: John's event in Amsterdam is on Thursday, March 19, at 7 p.m. at De Jaren; everyone in and around Amsterdam should come. (00:00:18)
• Q: “How do I get nerd girls to like me?” (00:00:40)
  • John (joke): Asked how to get nerd girls to like you, John jokes that girls love his puppy Willy, so his first advice is to become a puppy (or a kitten or sneezy panda). (00:01:18)
  • John: Having been dumped often, John says girls dislike creepy, stalkery behaviour; guys are taught not to be needy, so when allowed to be vulnerable the need floods out. (00:01:29)
• Q: “Hank has song Wednesday but why don't you ever sing?” (00:02:40)
  • John: Asked why he never sings, John says at the end of 2007 he gave nerdfighters the gift of him not singing anymore. (00:02:40)
• Q: “Any new hot youtubers?” (00:02:46)
  • John: John names Ransriggs and Wheezy Waiter as recent favourite new YouTubers, linked in the sidebar. (00:02:51)

Question Tuesday

2009-04-21 · John · 13 questions · Question Tuesday

• Q: “Are you really coming to Melbourne, Australia?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John confirms an awesome Nerdfighter gathering from 2 p.m. in Melbourne on May 31 to promote the Australian edition of Paper Towns; booking and details are in the sidebar. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What is a Nerdfighter?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked what a Nerdfighter is, John jokes that people haven't spent the 24 hours needed to watch all 465 videos, and says Nerdfighters are made out of awesome instead of bones and organs. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Is there some kind of initiation pro-” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says seriously that anyone who wants to be a Nerdfighter is one. (00:00:40)
• Q: “So is this just like communication between two guys and then people were interested so they subscribed?” (00:00:40)
  • John: John agrees the channel is just communication between two guys that other people got interested in and subscribed to. (00:00:40)
• Q: “Why do the brilliant always die young?” (00:01:08)
  • John: John says the brilliant die at all ages, not just young (Einstein was 76), but we romanticize the ones who die young. (00:01:08)
• Q: “What's your favorite poem?” (00:01:08)
  • John: John's favourite poem short enough to recite is John Keats's last poem, also his will: one line of perfect iambic pentameter. (00:01:08)
• Q: “Why do guys get obsessed to the point of cre-” (00:01:08)
  • John: On why guys become obsessive to the point of stalking: they fixate on the idea that someone's affection stands between them and happiness, but no single person does, and fixation is not love. (00:01:40)
• Q: “How do I get Maureen Johnson to like me?” (00:02:04)
  • John: John recommends Maureen Johnson's brilliant Suite Scarlett, out in paperback in a few days, as a way to get her to like you (or become a puppy). (00:02:04)
• Q: “Wait, your book, Paper Towns, is being turned into a movie?” (00:02:04)
  • John: Paper Towns may become a movie: the people who made Juno optioned the rights with John writing the screenplay, which he is working on now. (00:02:04)
• Q: “Is Hank gonna make a second CD?” (00:02:04)
  • John: John urges viewers to buy Hank's first CD while waiting for a second; anyone who buys it in the next week gets a special secret bonus video emailed by John. (00:02:04)
  • John: Asked whether Hank will make a second CD, John says he hopes so. (00:02:04)
• Q: “What happened to your superpower nerd glasses?” (00:03:02)
  • John: John's 'superpower nerd glasses' broke in a long story that ended with him falling face-first into the Baltic Sea. (00:03:02)
• Q: “Hold on, who the F is Hank?” (00:03:02)
  • John (joke): New joke answer to 'who the F is Hank': Hank is a white-coated dog breed bred to dig out foxholes (Willy shown). (00:03:02)
• Q: “Why don't you blink?” (00:03:31)
  • John: Asked why he doesn't blink, John recalls his March 2007 hospital visit for an eye infection, known to Brotherhood 2.0 viewers, and jokes that they installed robot eyes. (00:03:31)

Saturday Video?!?!?!

2009-04-25 · John · 11 questions · Saturday Video?!?!?!

• Q [request]: “I want to meet you.” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says people can meet him this Monday (27 April 2009) at 4 p.m. at the Elizabeth Public Library in Elizabeth, New Jersey. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What's your favorite color of peep?” (00:00:35)
  • John: John's problem with Peeps is that their flavour doesn't change with their colour; he believes flavour and colour should be correlated, and has the same problem with M&Ms. (00:00:35)
• Q: “Who created the original DFTBA acronym?” (00:01:04)
  • John: Asked who created the original DFTBA acronym, John credits his friend Katie (surname heard as 'Els'). (00:01:04)
• Q: “Favorite Mountain Goat song?” (00:01:04)
  • John: John's favourite Mountain Goats song is 'Up the Wolves'. (00:01:04)
• Q: “Was Hank's book any good?” (00:01:04)
  • John: Asked whether Hank's book was any good, John says he still hasn't read it. (00:01:04)
• Q: “John, will the world end in 2012?” (00:01:34)
  • John: Asked whether the world will end in 2012, John dismisses the worry as dated eschatological anxiety. (00:01:34)
• Q: “What's your favorite part about libraries?” (00:01:34)
  • John: John's favourite things about libraries are free books and secret superhero librarians. (00:01:34)
• Q: “How do you get a nerdfighter to notice that you romantically like him?” (00:01:34)
  • John: Asked how to get a Nerdfighter to notice you like him romantically, John advises simply telling him so. (00:01:34)
• Q: “Has your opinion on zombies vs. unicorns changed since 2007?” (00:01:34)
  • John: Asked whether his opinion on zombies vs. unicorns has changed since 2007, John says only in that he hates unicorns more than ever. (00:01:34)
• Q: “Do you think anyone actually reads books anymore?” (00:02:03)
  • John: Asked whether anyone reads books anymore, John says he has extensive empirical evidence that people still read books. (00:02:03)
• Q [request]: “Is it okay if I teach your happy dance during my aerobics class?” (00:02:03)
  • John: John doubts happy dances can be copyrighted and gives a viewer permission to teach his happy dance in her aerobics class. (00:02:03)

Question Tuesday!

2009-05-19 · John · 6 questions · Question Tuesday!

• Q: “I can't do the Nerdfighter hand sign. Do you have a workaround?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked about the hand sign, John says those who can't make it can use a workaround invented by the brothers' 'secret niece and nephew' in Australia, whom he'll meet soon. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Do conjoined twins get two different social security numbers?” (00:00:50)
  • John: John says each conjoined twin gets his or her own social security number. (00:00:50)
• Q: “Why are there so many blank pages at the back of the hardcover of Looking for Alaska?” (00:00:50)
  • John: John explains the blank pages at the back of the Looking for Alaska hardcover: a printed book's page count must be a multiple of eight, so extra pages are added. (00:00:50)
• Q: “What was your first job?” (00:01:19)
  • John: John says his first job was loading semi-trucks with boxes of stereo equipment in a warehouse, like Tetris in 110-degree heat with 30-pound pieces. (00:01:19)
• Q: “your ongoing story, This Is Not Tom, to the public?” (00:01:49)
  • John: John says his ongoing story This Is Not Tom is already free online each week and will not be published as a book. (00:01:49)
• Q: “Why do the same books have different covers in different countries?” (00:01:49)
  • John: John says books sometimes have different covers in different countries because each country's publisher designs its own. (00:01:49)

Ulcerative Colitis: A Song

2009-05-20 · Hank · 3 questions · Ulcerative Colitis: A Song

• Q: “Are you going to come out with another album?” (00:02:20)
  • Hank: Asked about another album, Hank says he will put one out, but does not know when. (00:02:20)
• Q: “Hank, what's going on with DFTBA Records?” (00:02:20)
  • Hank: Asked about DFTBA Records, Hank says it is doing very well and has just released Dave Days' first album, available from DFTBA. (00:02:20)
• Q: “Anything for non-Harry Potter Nerdfighters at all?” (00:03:19)
  • Hank: Hank says John leaves right after LeakyCon, but Hank will stay in Boston and play songs and gather with Nerdfighters at the LilyPad, 4 to 5:30pm Sunday. (00:03:19)

Nerdfighter MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

2009-06-30 · John, Paul DeGeorge, Kelly · 4 questions · Nerdfighter MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

• Q: “How's the Vlogbrothers 2009 Fitness Challenge going?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says he has lost about three pounds in the fitness challenge but expects Hank to win the BMI part, so he must focus on running and push-ups. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Are any of your books available in Spanish?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked whether his books are available in Spanish, John says yes: Looking for Alaska as Buscando a Alaska. (00:00:39)
• Q: “Behind your head, is that a polar bear with a top hat?” (00:00:39)
  • John: Asked about an object behind his head, John runs through a My Little Pony, wooden shoes from Dutch fans and a sculpture of Willy as the Dread Pirate Fireball Wilson Roberts. (00:00:39)
• Q [request]: “Will you ask my girlfriend to marry me?” (00:00:39)
  • John: Asked to propose for a viewer, John says Nerdfighters sometimes meet, fall in 'nerdfighter-like' and occasionally love, but he is unsure about proposing to someone other than his wife. (00:00:39)
  • John: John phones the requesting viewer's girlfriend, apologises for misspelling her name when he signed her book, then asks whether she will marry her boyfriend; she says yes. (00:01:25)

Love and Romance Questions ANSWERED

2009-07-28 · John, Sarah Urist Green · 9 questions · Love and Romance Questions ANSWERED

• Q: “Why am I so scared of rejection?” (00:00:15)
  • John: John says everyone is afraid of rejection; others just don't seem so because you are not living inside their thoughts. (00:00:17)
• Q: “You probably meant, " how can I tell when my boyfriend's gonna PROpose?” (00:00:51)
  • John: John advises asking a boyfriend about marriage and talking it over, calling it weird that culture thrusts marriage on women: boys deliberate for months, girls get seconds to answer. (00:00:55)
• Q: “Where are all the nerdy girls?” (00:01:11)
  • John (joke): Asked where the nerdy girls are, John jokes that they are right here, watching the video. (00:01:13)
• Q: “Is it weird having your first kiss?” (00:01:25)
  • John: John says an ordinary first kiss is no big deal, but for a kiss with tongue his one piece of advice is that the tongue should not lead. (00:01:30)
• Q: “Is it still acceptable to ask someone out by writing them a note” (00:02:26)
  • Sarah Urist Green: Sarah says asking someone out with a check-yes-or-no note has never been cool and is the wimp's way; she recommends asking them. (00:02:34)
• Q: “I'm almost 18 and I've never been out on a date or had a boyfriend” (00:03:04)
  • John: John tells a nearly 18-year-old who has never dated that this is not weird, and that guys are people in exactly the same way girls are. (00:03:10)
• Q: “Do guys really not like girls who are smarter than them?” (00:03:29)
  • John: John says guys who don't like girls smarter than them are exactly the guys you don't want to date. (00:03:32)
• Q: “Is breaking up over text message bad?” (00:03:38)
  • John: John says breaking up over text message is bad. (00:03:41)
• Q: “How do you get over crushing shyness to ask a boy out on a date?” (00:03:42)
  • John: To overcome shyness about asking a boy out, John says just ask: call him now, before the video ends, and say John Green told you to. (00:03:45)

100 QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!!!!!!

2009-08-30 · John · 3 questions · 100 QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!!!!!!

• Q: “Will Paper Towns be published in France?” (00:00:22)
  • John: Asked whether Paper Towns will be published in France, John answers in French that he thinks so. (00:00:22)
• Q: “Will you write a sequel to Looking For Alaska?” (00:01:15)
  • John: Asked whether he will write a sequel to Looking for Alaska, John answers probably not. (00:01:15)
• Q: “What's the meaning of life?” (00:01:27)
  • John: Asked the meaning of life, John answers other people; his favorite word is 'together', he chooses hope over despair, and says he is almost happy. (00:01:27)

Question Tuesday: The Free Money Edition

2009-11-17 · John · 9 questions · Question Tuesday: The Free Money Edition

• Q: “Is the character of Ben in your book Paper Towns based on anyone you knew in high school?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked whether Ben in Paper Towns is based on someone from his high school, John says the character is based on himself. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Is it still possible to be a secret sibling?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says it is still possible to be a secret sibling: everyone who makes video responses is one. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How's NaNoWriMo going?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says he is 10,000 words behind on NaNoWriMo because of the Paper Towns screenplay revision, and behind on the screenplay because of NaNoWriMo. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How's Paper Towns screenplay?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says he has had to work on the Paper Towns screenplay revision, which has put him 10,000 words behind on NaNoWriMo. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What's up with the beard?” (00:00:35)
  • John: John says he is growing his beard for Movember, in which people grow facial hair to raise money for prostate cancer research; someone offered a donation if he kept it all month. (00:00:35)
• Q: “Is Hank's album gonna be on iTunes?” (00:00:35)
  • John: John says Hank's album is already on iTunes but recommends buying the physical CD because it comes with a poster. (00:01:05)
• Q [request]: “I want to buy Hank's album but I don't have any money though.” (00:01:05)
  • John: For 48 hours after upload (until 19 November 2009), John will pay $2 toward Hank's CD for buyers using the DFTBA.com/John link, so it costs $13; he plans to pay Hank in $2 bills. (00:01:34)
• Q: “Do you have any tips on coming out to my parents?” (00:02:33)
  • John: Asked for coming-out tips, John advises honesty and says the hard part is not saying 'I'm gay' but being understanding of however parents respond. (00:02:33)
• Q: “Have we found Gus as a bug yet?” (00:02:33)
  • John: John confirms Gus Is a Bug was found: what he could not do in three years, Nerdfighteria did in about 20 minutes, and the book is on its way to him. (00:02:33)

In Which A Secret Is Revealed

2009-12-15 · John · 11 questions · In Which A Secret Is Revealed

• Q: “How long has the Project for Awesome been going on?” (00:00:05)
  • John: Asked how long the Project for Awesome has been going on, John says this will be its third year. (00:00:05)
• Q: “Wait, what is the Project for Awesome? How do I make a video and where do I post it?” (00:00:21)
  • John: John defines the P4A: an annual tradition where many make videos for charities and many more rate, favorite and comment on them, so for one day YouTube's most popular videos are about decreasing world suck. (00:00:25)
• Q: “How do I make a video and where do I post it?” (00:00:21)
  • John: John tells viewers to make a video advocating for their favorite charity, upload it on Thursday (17 December 2009), ideally with the shared thumbnail linked in the doobly-doo, then rate and comment for 48 hours. (00:00:39)
• Q: “This guy I really like wants my advice on how to ask out another girl. What should I do?” (00:00:52)
  • John: To a viewer whose crush asks her advice on asking out another girl, John suspects he actually likes her: boys commonly use this 'colossally stupid' strategy. (00:00:52)
• Q: “What time should I upload my Project for Awesome video?” (00:01:17)
  • John: John says P4A videos should be uploaded as close to noon Eastern time (5 p.m. GMT) as possible. (00:01:17)
• Q: “Wait, what can I do for Project for Awesome if I can't make a video?” (00:01:36)
  • John: Asked what to do without making a video, John says 90% of the Project for Awesome is commenting on and rating videos, not making them. (00:01:36)
• Q: “How do I get my ex girlfriend back?” (00:02:09)
  • John: Asked how to get an ex-girlfriend back, John recommends reading up on Buddhist non-attachment, linked in the description. (00:02:09)
• Q: “How do I get the picture that I can download in the dooblydoo to be the thumbnail in my video?” (00:02:13)
  • John: John says making the shared thumbnail your video's thumbnail is hard; they think they've cracked YouTube's algorithm, but a P4A video can be great without it. (00:02:16)
• Q: “You have a lot of advice about guys and girls who wanna find each other, but what about gay people?” (00:02:28)
  • John: Asked about advice for gay people, John says it is the same advice with different pronouns. (00:02:28)
• Q: “Any advice on how to make my Project for Awesome video good?” (00:02:33)
  • John: John advises that a good P4A video advocates for a charity rather than just talking about it, should be creative and awesome, and can find creative ways to encourage fundraising. (00:02:33)
• Q: “What's the best way to tell a close friend that you're in nerdfighter-like with them?” (00:02:50)
  • John: In a message for a friend a viewer is in nerdfighter-like with, John says: don't freak out, think it through; it is an 'I like you if you like me' thing that needn't jeopardise the friendship. (00:02:50)

2011

CONCUSSED Question Friday

2011-01-07 · John · 15 questions · CONCUSSED Question Friday

• Q: “What's your take on the Oxford comma?” (00:00:10)
  • John: Asked his take on the Oxford comma, John answers with a list using it: lovely, unintrusive and absolutely necessary. (00:00:10)
• Q: “Who the F is Hank?” (00:00:21)
  • John (joke): To 'Who the F is Hank?' John answers that Hank is a city of just over 3,000 people in southern South Dakota known for its pheasant season. (00:00:21)
• Q: “Other than heights, what are you afraid of?” (00:00:29)
  • John: Other than heights, John says he is afraid of geese, mice and oblivion. (00:00:29)
• Q: “What did you and Hank fight about when you were kids?” (00:00:34)
  • John: As kids the brothers mainly fought over John rewriting game rules mid-game to ensure his victory, which he saw as an older brother's privilege and responsibility; Hank was 'kind of a wuss' about it. (00:00:34)
• Q: “How can I find other Nerdfighters at my school?” (00:00:59)
  • John: To find other Nerdfighters at school, John recommends getting or making a DFTBA shirt; DFTBA means Don't Forget To Be Awesome. (00:00:59)
• Q: “What would you name your puppy sized elephant?” (00:01:08)
  • John: John would name his puppy-sized elephant Lewis, and they would be best friends. (00:01:08)
• Q: “How can I get all these old Nerfighter jokes if I'm a new Nerdfighter?” (00:01:13)
  • John: New Nerdfighters can pick up the old in-jokes by listening to Hank's music, reading John's books, watching old videos and hanging around. (00:01:13)
• Q: “How do you feel about the Kindle?” (00:01:20)
  • John: Asked about the Kindle, John says he doesn't really care how people read, only whether they read. (00:01:20)
• Q: “Is your next book really narrated by a girl?” (00:01:24)
  • John: John confirms that his next book is narrated by a girl. (00:01:24)
• Q: “Will you ever right another book with David Levithan?” (00:01:27)
  • John: John may write another book with David Levithan; meanwhile he recommends Levithan's 'amazing' new solo book The Lover's Dictionary. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Favorite Mountain Goats song?” (00:01:34)
  • John: Asked for his favourite Mountain Goats song, John recites a lyric about Raskolnikov; for a first album he puts a recommendation in the description. (00:01:34)
• Q: “Will we ever see the Yeti?” (00:01:48)
  • John: Will viewers ever see the Yeti? After consulting 'Yeti Researcher' magazine, John says he doesn't think they ever will. (00:01:48)
• Q: “Would you date a girl more intelligent than yourself?” (00:02:03)
  • John: Would he date a girl more intelligent than himself? John says yes; in fact he married one. (00:02:03)
• Q [challenge]: “Your headdesk was lame.” (00:02:07)
  • John (joke): Told his headdesk was lame, John tries a better one, 'excessively headdesks', and performs the rest of the video as if concussed, forgetting answers, his middle name and the day. (00:02:07)
• Q: “When will your zombie apocalypse novella be finished?” (00:02:49)
  • John: John hopes to finish his zombie apocalypse novella within a week or so; he calls it terrible and wants to get back to his real book. (00:02:49)

QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition

2011-02-04 · John · 17 questions · QUESTION FRIDAY: Spelling is Hard Edition

• Q: “Are there any words you still can't spell?” (00:00:04)
  • John: John still struggles to spell 'occasionally', 'refrigerator', 'sacrilege' and 'queue', making this the spelling-bee nightmare edition of Question Friday. (00:00:04)
• Q: “Did you see that NASA tweeted Hank's video?” (00:00:11)
  • John: John did see that NASA tweeted Hank's video, and is glad Hank is less space-obsessed than at 16, when it might have made his brain explode. (00:00:11)
• Q: “How can you see into the past?” (00:00:20)
  • John: Explaining how Hank's telescope sees the past: light takes time to travel, so something 13 billion light-years away is seen as it was 13 billion years ago; the Sun is about 8 light-minutes away. (00:00:20)
• Q: “Which part of Will Grayson, Will Grayson did you write?” (00:00:49)
  • John: In Will Grayson, Will Grayson John wrote uppercase Will, a.k.a. 'straight Will' or 'Schrödinger's Will'. (00:00:49)
• Q: “Who the eff is Hank?” (00:00:59)
  • John (joke): Asked who Hank is, John describes Batman: a DC comic-book superhero first appearing in 1939, also known as the Caped Crusader. (00:00:59)
• Q: “Where should I invest a small amount of money?” (00:01:08)
  • John: For investing a small amount of money John recommends a broad index fund like the Wilshire 5000. (00:01:08)
• Q: “If you could live in any period of history, which would it be?” (00:01:13)
  • John: Of all periods of history John would live in this one; Rome was fantastic, but a nerd with four days can recreate it in Minecraft. (00:01:13)
• Q: “What are those blue creatures behind you?” (00:01:27)
  • John: The blue creatures behind John were sewn for him by a nerdfighter, possibly as a present for Henry, but he took them. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Peeta or Gale?” (00:01:43)
  • John: Peeta or Gale? John is 'with the bakers', i.e. Peeta. (00:01:43)
• Q: “Do you use hair product?” (00:01:46)
  • John (joke): John uses no hair product: 'the puff needs hair product like Hank needs caffeine'. (00:01:46)
• Q: “What's your overall stance on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?” (00:01:51)
  • John: John's overall stance on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict: both sides need to recognize the legitimacy of the other's narrative. (00:01:51)
• Q: “Will your zombie novella ever be published?” (00:01:58)
  • John: John's zombie novella was released under a Creative Commons license and is freely available online, linked in the description. (00:01:58)
• Q: “When you and Hank play clue, who is Mr. Green?” (00:02:25)
  • John: In the original British Cluedo, Mr. Green is Reverend Green, renamed for America because that was felt to be sacrilege; John usually plays Colonel Mustard. (00:02:25)
• Q: “What's your bracelet?” (00:02:49)
  • John: John wears an Esther bracelet and tells viewers to get one, since they make the world suck less; link in the description. (00:02:49)
• Q: “Why was Henry crying at the end of your last video?” (00:02:55)
  • John: Asked why Henry cried at the end of his last video, John says babies have only two thoughts, 'I am ecstatically happy' and 'this could be better', and one strategy: crying. (00:02:55)
• Q: “Why is a bubble round?” (00:03:13)
  • John: Bubbles are round because they are minimal-surface structures and spheres have minimal surface. (00:03:13)
• Q: “How's your Warner Chilcott stock doing?” (00:03:17)
  • John: John is down $32 on his Warner Chilcott stock and tells the company to do a better job of 'Warner Chilcott-ing' sick people so he gets his money back. (00:03:17)

DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day

2011-03-09 · John · 11 questions · DANDY LIONS! It's Question Day

• Q: “I wonder if you've thought about what you want your last words to be before you die.” (00:00:21)
  • John: Asked whether reading Looking for Alaska made him think about his own last words, John says not at all, paraphrasing John Barrymore: dying is the last thing he would ever do. (00:00:25)
• Q: “Did you have any nicknames as a teenager?” (00:00:30)
  • John: John says that as a teenager friends nicknamed him 'Kuffs' after he said Christian Slater never made a bad movie. (00:00:31)
• Q: “Dandy lions or dandelions?” (00:00:37)
  • John (joke): Asked 'dandy lions or dandelions?', John picks dandy lions, which eat you if you wish on them, and calls 'The Dandy Lions' a really good band name; the title bit. (00:00:40)
• Q: “It's tax time again. Any fishing boat proceeds this year?” (00:00:47)
  • John (joke): Asked at tax time about fishing boat proceeds, John jokes that the stupid fishing boats always refuse to give him proceeds. (00:00:47)
• Q: “When's your new book coming out?” (00:00:53)
  • John: John says his new book comes out in almost exactly one year. (00:00:54)
• Q: “What's it about?” (00:00:56)
  • John: John says the novel is about two teenage cancer survivors obsessed with a reclusive novelist, and also about Swedish hip-hop and the meaning of life. (00:00:57)
• Q: “Is it really narrated by a girl?” (00:01:05)
  • John: John confirms the novel is narrated by a girl, Hazel. (00:01:07)
• Q: “What's the title?” (00:01:08)
  • John: John says the novel has no title yet: he changes it about every day and all the titles are bad. (00:01:09)
• Q: “What is the biggest obstacle, in your opinion, to getting started as a professional writer?” (00:01:15)
  • John: John says the biggest obstacle to becoming a professional writer is that the world contains many books and few people willing to pay to read them. (00:01:19)
• Q: “Are you friends with Libba Bray? Have you read any of her books?” (00:01:29)
  • John: John says he is friends with Libba Bray and has read all her books, including the not-yet-released Beauty Queens, which is amazing; viewers should pre-order it. (00:01:32)
• Q: “Hey, is your phone number secretly inserted into 'Looking for Alaska'?” (00:02:14)
  • John: John confirms his then phone number is in Looking for Alaska: he didn't think more than about nine people would read it; he apologizes to its current owner. (00:02:17)

Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday

2011-04-29 · John · 15 questions · Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday

• Q: “Is it cougish if a seventeen year old girl goes out with a fifteen year old guy?” (00:00:10)
  • John: Asked whether a 17-year-old girl dating a 15-year-old boy is 'cougish', John says it strikes him as completely normal, and asks why 'cougish' is a thing when 'French the llama' is not. (00:00:10)
• Q: “Can you speak Dutch?” (00:00:23)
  • John: John cannot speak Dutch: when he tries to get through a whole interaction only in Dutch, the person says they don't understand and asks if he wants a beer. (00:00:23)
• Q: “Why didn't you show the "Good morning Hank it's Wednesday" from Plainfield, Indiana?” (00:00:37)
  • John: John did not show his 'Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday' from Plainfield, Indiana because something is wrong with his phone and he cannot get videos onto his computer. (00:00:37)
• Q: “Why haven't you done Peanut Butter Face in a long time?” (00:01:05)
  • John: Asked why he hasn't done Peanut Butter Face in a long time, John disputes the premise and then does Peanut Butter Face. (00:01:05)
• Q: “What were some of the original titles of your books?” (00:01:20)
  • John: John says the original titles of his books were always pretentious, such as 'More Light Than Heat' or 'An Imperial Affliction'. (00:01:20)
• Q: “Can you explain the 'in your pants' thing?” (00:01:31)
  • John: John explains the 'in your pants' rule: their friend Maureen Johnson discovered that book titles are funnier with 'in your pants' added, and gives examples. (00:01:31)
• Q: “If Henry had been a girl, what would you have named her?” (00:01:45)
  • John: John and the Yeti agreed in advance that a boy would be named Henry and a girl 'Bubbles the Nerdfighting Lady Baby'. (00:01:47)
• Q: “Are we ever gonna find out the lie from the April Fools video?” (00:01:54)
  • John: John reveals that the lie in his April Fools video was that there was no lie. (00:01:57)
• Q: “Has Helen Hunt heard the Helen Hunt song yet?” (00:02:01)
  • John: Helen Hunt has not yet heard Hank's Helen Hunt song, John says, pointing out that Helen Hunt has a Twitter. (00:02:01)
• Q [request]: “Can you restock the DFTBA shirts, please?” (00:02:22)
  • John: At a viewer's request John restocks the DFTBA shirts: all of them are back in stock at dftba.com. (00:02:22)
• Q: “What are the marks on your arm?” (00:02:33)
  • John: The marks on John's arm are birthmarks, which he says are there for life. (00:02:33)
• Q: “Where is Willy? Is he there with you in Amsterdam?” (00:02:46)
  • John: Willy is not in Amsterdam; he is staying with the Yeti's aunt and uncle, whom John says Willy likes far better than him. (00:02:46)
• Q: “What is Willy's middle name?” (00:03:00)
  • John: John gives Willy's full name as, technically, Wilson Bubbles the Nerdfighting Puppy Roberts. (00:03:00)
• Q: “What are we doing for Hanko de Mayo?” (00:03:05)
  • John: Asked about Hanko de Mayo plans, John points viewers to the link in the doobly-doo and forbids Hank to click it, with a mock threat. (00:03:05)
• Q: “Shouldn't you be writing your new book right now?” (00:03:19)
  • John: Asked whether he should be writing his new book right now, John says yes, he should. (00:03:19)

Question Tuesday! Paula Deen Riding Me (and critical reading)

2011-06-15 (said on 2011-06-14, implied) · John · 11 questions · Question Tuesday! Paula Deen Riding Me (and critical reading)

• Q: “What's up with all the shoes and feet in the foreign editions of your books?” (00:00:31)
  • John: Asked about them, John finds there are indeed a lot of shoes and feet on the foreign editions of his books, and doesn't know why. (00:00:35)
• Q: “Did something happen with 'Let It Snow?'” (00:00:45)
  • John: The movie rights to Let It Snow have just sold to Paramount, a large Hollywood studio. (00:00:47)
• Q: “What are some of the major differences you've noticed between the U.S. and Europe?” (00:01:02)
  • John: Asked about US–Europe differences, John says the biggest is that 60% of US bankruptcies are caused by medical costs, against 0% in the Netherlands. (00:01:05)
• Q: “What's the title of your new book?” (00:01:13)
  • John: The title of John's new book is still not totally decided, so he can't say yet, but soon. (00:01:14)
• Q [request]: “Will you ever restart the Nerdfighter Blurbing Book Club?” (00:01:20)
  • John: Since summer in Nerdfighteria means SPF 30 and classic American literature, John announces The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald as the new Nerdfighter Blurbing Book Club book. (00:01:22)
• Q [request]: “When are you gonna get Pizza John shirts back in my size?” (00:01:52)
  • John: Pizza John shirts are back in all sizes at DFTBA.com/pizza. (00:01:54)
• Q: “What's Hank's punishment?” (00:02:21)
  • John: John sets Hank's punishment as the one most popular in Nerdfighteria, Humpy Hank All Over Town: Hank must hump the town. (00:02:23)
• Q: “What are your thoughts on Tumblr?” (00:02:32)
  • John (joke): Asked about Tumblr, John calls it the internet's number one destination for images of Paula Deen riding him — the title bit. (00:02:34)
• Q: “Do you think benign dictatorships are a good form of government?” (00:02:40)
  • John: Asked whether benign dictatorships are a good form of government, John says 'benign dictatorship' is a bit of an oxymoron. (00:02:42)
• Q: “Who's your biggest inspiration?” (00:02:45)
  • John: John's biggest inspiration is Nerdfighters: he writes books and makes videos to tell them interesting, hopefully helpful stories, as books changed his own life. (00:02:47)
• Q: “When teachers say 'the author means...' do you really mean those things?” (00:03:02)
  • John: Asked if he means what teachers say 'the author means', John says probably, but teachers shouldn't say it: they can't read authors' minds, and what authors mean doesn't really matter. (00:03:06)

Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT!

2011-08-17 · Hank, John · 7 questions · Hank's Question Tuesday DEBUT!

• Q: “What was your biggest childhood argument?” (00:00:07)
  • Hank: Asked about their biggest childhood argument, Hank thinks the problem was John lying: Hank got blamed because John was the better liar, and still is. (00:00:10)
• Q: “How come you guys never come to Ireland or even mention it?” (00:00:21)
  • John & Hank (joke): Asked why they never come to Ireland or mention it, the brothers mention it and declare the matter done. (00:00:21)
• Q: “Would you rather have a unicorn or a Pegasus?” (00:00:26)
  • Hank: Hank would rather have a pegasus than a unicorn: it has wings, while a unicorn is just a horse; John disagrees. (00:00:28)
• Q: “Is it possible that The Giant Squid of Anger and the Sarlac from Star Wars share an evolutionary link?” (00:00:39)
  • Hank: Hank says the giant squid of anger and the Star Wars sarlacc cannot share an evolutionary link, since genetic material cannot travel between galaxies. (00:00:44)
• Q: “Have you seen the new modernised version of Sherlock Holmes?” (00:01:46)
  • John: Asked about the modernised Sherlock Holmes, John gives the Cumberbatch version two thumbs up and the Downey Jr. version one thumb; Hank, who has seen both, agrees. (00:01:48)
• Q: “Do you guys go back and watch your old videos?” (00:02:17)
  • John: Asked whether they rewatch old videos, John says he really enjoys watching the old videos, especially Hank's, but is pretty hard on himself when he watches his own. (00:02:19)
• Q: “What is the point of doing things in general?” (00:02:37)
  • Hank: Restating a viewer's question, Hank says there is no reason to do things, no cosmic mandate to do stuff. (00:02:41)

Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday.

2011-08-26 · John · 11 questions · Will He Kiss You? Am I a Muggle? It's Question Friday.

• Q: “Favourite essay you have ever read?” (00:00:14)
  • John: John names his favourite essay: F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Crack-Up. (00:00:14)
• Q: “Why hasn't my boyfriend kissed me, even though we've been going for almost five months?” (00:00:17)
  • John: John tells a young Twitter user whose boyfriend hasn't kissed her in almost five months of going out that kissing happens with you, not to you, so she should talk honestly with him. (00:00:27)
• Q: “How goes the TFIOS signing?” (00:00:40)
  • John: Asked how the TFIOS signing goes, John says he is at about 35,000, is temporarily out of red Sharpies and has a long way to go. (00:00:40)
• Q: “Is it too late to pre-order a signed copy?” (00:00:56)
  • John: John says all pre-orders of The Fault in Our Stars will be signed, wherever ordered (Amazon UK, England, Canada); the whole first printing is being signed, but only pre-orders are guaranteed. (00:00:56)
• Q [request]: “Describe your favourite paradox.” (00:02:02)
  • John: John explains Zeno's paradox (to reach a door you must first go halfway, and halfway to that, so you must traverse infinity) and says it is very important to him. (00:02:02)
• Q: “Do you have a tumblr?” (00:02:19)
  • John: John gives his Tumblr address, fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com, with a link in the doobly-doo. (00:02:19)
• Q [request]: “Can you do Question Tuesday with peanut butter face?” (00:02:23)
  • John: Asked to do Question Tuesday with peanut butter face, John does it briefly and says he is proud of his career as a man who puts peanut butter on his face. (00:02:23)
• Q: “Does Sarah have any input into your writing process?” (00:03:05)
  • John: John says Sarah has contributed tons to his writing: the line 'imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia' in Looking for Alaska, the pranks in Paper Towns, and hugely to The Fault in Our Stars. (00:03:05)
• Q: “Have any of her ideas ever made it into your stories?” (00:03:05)
  • John: John says Sarah contributed tons of ideas to his novels, from Looking for Alaska to Paper Towns, and hugely to The Fault in Our Stars. (00:03:05)
• Q: “What was the original title of "Looking for Alaska"?” (00:03:18)
  • John: John says Looking for Alaska had many working titles, including Misremembering Alaska, The Great Perhaps and, for a long time, Warm Malt Liquor: A Novel. (00:03:18)
• Q [request]: “I was sorted as a Hufflepuff in Pottermore. Can you console me?” (00:03:26)
  • John: To a viewer sorted into Hufflepuff on Pottermore, John says he will congratulate rather than console them on joining the house of Helga Hufflepuff and Tonks. (00:03:26)

Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS!

2011-10-19 · John · 7 questions · Question Wed — THE COVER OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS!

• Q: “Nobby Loslins asks, books or e-readers?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked 'books or e-readers?', John says he doesn't really care how people read, only whether they read. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Social Hazard asks, do you have a cover for The Fault in Our Stars yet?” (00:00:00)
  • John: With his publisher Julie Strauss-Gabel's permission, given two minutes earlier, John reveals the cover of The Fault in Our Stars and hopes viewers like it as much as he does. (00:00:30)
• Q: “I used to love pizza, but I've grown to hate it. Is there something wrong with me?” (00:01:32)
  • John: Asked by a viewer who grew to hate pizza, John says he once stopped liking pizza because he had a diseased gallbladder and needed abdominal surgery, so yes, something is wrong. (00:01:32)
• Q: “Hermayane asks, what is your opinion on the Oxford comma and the controversies surrounding it?” (00:01:32)
  • John: On the Oxford comma, John values clarity in writing, but debating it reminds him life is a finite set of moments; brainpower spent on it would be better spent curing malaria. (00:01:32)
• Q: “Claudette asks, are you really going to sign the entire first printing of The Fault in Our-” (00:02:01)
  • John: Asked whether he really will sign the entire first printing of The Fault in Our Stars, John answers 'Oh, yes!' (00:02:01)
• Q [request]: “Help me find him?” (00:02:01)
  • John: A viewer met a fellow Nerdfighter in archaeology class through her pizza shirt, but he has missed five weeks; John urges the unnamed boy to go to class. (00:02:01)
• Q: “I already feel under pressure asked, will there be such a thing as a Hanklerfished and Yetified copy of The Fault in Our Stars?” (00:02:30)
  • John: There will be exactly one Hanklerfished and Yetified copy of The Fault in Our Stars. (00:02:30)

2012

The Fault in Our Stars

2012-01-10 (said on 2012-01-09, implied) · John · 16 questions · The Fault in Our Stars

• Q: “How you doing?” (00:00:11)
  • John: John is a bit stressed: he has to leave his family for a month, which is a bummer, but he is excited to go on tour. (00:00:12)
• Q: “So what inspired you to write The Fault In Our Stars?” (00:00:26)
  • John: John says TFIOS grew from his work almost twelve years ago as a student chaplain at a children's hospital; he has been trying ever since to write a funny, honest story about it. (00:00:28)
• Q: “Do you think The Fault In Our Stars is your best book yet?” (00:00:36)
  • John: Asked if TFIOS is his best book, John doesn't know: its reviews are better than any of his other books', but authors shouldn't judge their own work; Mark Twain thought Joan of Arc his best. (00:00:38)
• Q: “Was it hard to write The Fault In Our Stars as a parent?” (00:00:57)
  • John: John doesn't think he could have written TFIOS until he was a parent. (00:01:00)
• Q: “How much research did you have to do about the medical stuff in the The Fault In Our Stars?” (00:01:01)
  • John: John says he did more medical research for TFIOS than a hypochondriac probably should. (00:01:04)
• Q: “What made you decide to write this one from a girl's point of view?” (00:01:06)
  • John: John says he wrote TFIOS from a girl's point of view partly to think about how gender constructions shape our understanding of what constitutes heroism. (00:01:08)
• Q: “Do you think V for Vendetta is a proponent of democracy or anarchy?” (00:01:14)
  • John: John thinks V for Vendetta is primarily a proponent of a very specific and pervasive idea of heroism, rather than of democracy or anarchy. (00:01:17)
• Q [request]: “Will you do peanut butter face?” (00:01:22)
  • John: Asked for peanut butter face in an airport, John objects people will think he's crazy, then makes do with peanut butter crackers. (00:01:22)
• Q: “Will I feel out of the loop if I haven't read Looking For Alaska?” (00:01:30)
  • John: John says readers won't feel out of the loop without Looking for Alaska: unlike Harry Potter, his books have nothing to do with each other. (00:01:30)
• Q [request]: “Hey, my pre-order wasn't signed.” (00:01:40)
  • John: John tells buyers whose pre-ordered copy wasn't signed not to panic and to email him their name, address and where they ordered the book. (00:01:40)
• Q: “Did you ever get emotional while writing this book?” (00:01:47)
  • John: John says he got emotional quite a bit while writing the book, but he's a crier. (00:01:47)
• Q: “Wait is The Fault In Our Stars gonna make me cry or laugh or what?” (00:01:50)
  • John: Asked whether TFIOS will make readers cry or laugh, John says ideally it will make them feel all of the things. (00:01:50)
• Q: “Was Esther an inspiration for this book?” (00:02:11)
  • John: John says he could never have written TFIOS without knowing Esther, who definitely inspired it, but stresses that Hazel is not Esther: the book is made up, a novel. (00:02:11)
• Q: “Are there any tickets left to anywhere on the Tour De Nerdfighting?” (00:02:31)
  • John: John says Tour de Nerdfighting tickets remain only near New Orleans, Houston, Austin, Phoenix, Albuquerque, Seattle and San Francisco, with ticket info in the description. (00:02:31)
• Q: “Has Nerdfighteria influenced your writing at all?” (00:02:46)
  • John: John says Nerdfighteria has shaped TFIOS in so many ways he can't list them, as readers will probably see. (00:02:46)
• Q: “What was your favorite moment in the creation of The Fault In Our Stars?” (00:02:53)
  • John: John's favourite moment: Islamic mystics' word fanaa, dissolution of the self, is what reading and writing do when they work; writing TFIOS he often felt he transcended himself, and hopes readers will too. (00:02:53)

Sharpie Face Question Tuesday

2012-03-20 · John · 16 questions · Sharpie Face Question Tuesday

• Q [request]: “Will you do sharpie face?” (00:00:03)
  • John: Asked whether he will do Sharpie Face, John agrees, but only for the answers. (00:00:03)
• Q: “How involved do you plan to be in the making of the TFiOS movie?” (00:00:07)
  • John: John says he will be involved in the TFIOS movie in any way he can be helpful, but he is not a movie person. (00:00:10)
• Q: “Will you ever come to the Netherlands again?” (00:00:24)
  • John: John says he is going to the Netherlands this week (week of 19 March 2012); there will be a Nerdfighter gathering in Amsterdam on Friday night, with info in the description. (00:00:26)
• Q: “Why don't you ever do champagne poppers anymore?” (00:00:38)
  • John: John says he stopped doing champagne poppers because, as a grown man making video blogs meant to be taken seriously, they aren't part of his brand. (00:00:40)
• Q: “Do you get annoyed when people correct your grammar?” (00:01:03)
  • John: John says he only gets annoyed when people use grammar to humiliate others in YouTube comments, rather than for its purpose: making language as clear and intelligible as possible. (00:01:06)
• Q: “Who do you think should play Hazel and Augustus in a movie of The Fault in Our Stars?” (00:01:25)
  • John: Asked who should play Hazel and Augustus, John says he knows nothing of contemporary actors (Drew Barrymore is still 17 in his mind) and asks who viewers would want. (00:01:28)
• Q: “Is The Fault In Our Stars still on the bestseller list?” (00:01:39)
  • John: John says The Fault in Our Stars is currently number 2 on the New York Times bestseller list, behind only Hugo Cabret, a book he really liked. (00:01:41)
• Q: “2,300 librarians just went on strike in Toronto. What say you?” (00:01:52)
  • John: Told 2,300 librarians are on strike in Toronto, John says he stands with the librarians, or will quietly support them from a distance if they don't want a guy with Sharpie face. (00:01:55)
• Q: “Are you working on a new book yet?” (00:02:11)
  • John: John says he is not working on a new book yet: he has to finish his 'stupid bad zombie story' first. (00:02:11)
• Q: “All-time favorite Greek Philosopher.” (00:02:15)
  • John: John names Zeno as his all-time favorite Greek philosopher, maybe obvious to readers of The Fault in Our Stars. (00:02:15)
• Q: “Can you recommend any Swedish hip-hop?” (00:02:27)
  • John: John recommends the Swedish hip-hop of Afasi och Filthy, best enjoyed if you don't speak Swedish, and Snook. (00:02:29)
• Q: “Who the eff is Hank?” (00:02:33)
  • John (joke): Asked 'Who the eff is Hank?', John answers that Hank is a cat running for the US Senate from Virginia. (00:02:33)
• Q: “Hey, when are we gonna see your punishment?” (00:02:38)
  • John: John says that on tour Hank told him his punishment would strike when he least expects it; it still hasn't happened, so maybe Hank has forgotten. (00:02:39)
• Q: “Why is Hazel called Hazel?” (00:02:47)
  • John: John explains Hazel's name: hazel is an in-between color and she has an in-between life, between health and sickness, adolescence and adulthood, swimming and drowning. (00:02:49)
• Q: “What do you think the difference is between a geek and a nerd?” (00:02:57)
  • John: On geeks vs nerds, John says the fact that both are so fascinated with the question suggests they have a lot in common. (00:02:59)
• Q: “Did you ever want to be a teacher?” (00:03:07)
  • John: John says he always wanted to be a teacher, and thanks to Crash Course he kind of can be: he is living his teacher dream. (00:03:08)

Thoughts on Romance and Sex in an Airport

2012-04-17 · John · 13 questions · Thoughts on Romance and Sex in an Airport

• Q: “When do you think it's okay to lose your virginity?” (00:00:11)
  • John: Asked when it is okay to lose your virginity, John says 34-year-old men vlogging in airports should not decide when other people have sex. (00:00:11)
• Q: “I like this guy and I think he likes me back, but I'm not sure. How do I find out for sure?” (00:00:18)
  • John: John's advice to someone unsure whether a crush likes them back is what he tells his son Henry several times a day: use your words and just talk to the person. (00:00:18)
• Q: “How do you say no to sex without offending your partner?” (00:00:41)
  • John: Asked how to say no to sex without offending a partner, John uses a Venn diagram to show that people who take offence at a no are asshats. (00:00:41)
• Q: “Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with?” (00:00:50)
  • John: John says the number of people someone has slept with does not matter, and it bothers him that women are held to a different standard on this than men. (00:00:52)
• Q: “How do I know he's the "one"?” (00:01:11)
  • John: John doesn't think there is one 'one'. (00:01:11)
• Q: “When is it too soon to say "I love you?” (00:01:21)
  • John: On when it is too soon to say 'I love you', John advises remembering that you can't un-ring that bell. (00:01:21)
• Q: “The first time you saw the Yeti, did you think she was the one?” (00:01:38)
  • John: John says that when he first saw the Yeti she was in eighth grade, and he did not think he was going to marry her. (00:01:38)
• Q: “In your opinion, is pre-marital sex wrong?” (00:01:51)
  • John: John says there is nothing inherently wrong with premarital sex. (00:01:51)
• Q: “What is the secret to a successful marriage?” (00:02:22)
  • John: John says the secret to a successful marriage is mutual generosity, and it helps if you like the same television programmes. (00:02:22)
• Q: “Is it wrong to do gay stuff, like just kissing?” (00:02:26)
  • John: Asked whether gay kissing is wrong, John says of course not: if two people want to kiss it is awesome, and no one should be ashamed of their sexuality. (00:02:26)
• Q: “On average, what animal takes the longest to copulate?” (00:02:46)
  • John: John says llama sex lasts about two hours because male llamas experience 'dribble ejaculation'. (00:02:46)
• Q: “He loves me and I don't love him and he won't take no for an answer?” (00:02:55)
  • John: If someone says he loves you but won't take no for an answer, John says he doesn't love you; he doesn't respect your right to choose your own romantic partners. (00:02:55)
• Q: “Is it weird that I'm in college and I've never kissed anyone?” (00:03:02)
  • John: John says never having kissed anyone in college is not weird, citing that this was the most thumbed-up question of the hundreds he got on Facebook. (00:03:02)

The Dangling Rope of Terror: It's Question Tuesday

2012-06-05 · John · 6 questions · The Dangling Rope of Terror: It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “Hey, whatever happened to the Abundance of Katherines cover contest?” (00:00:29)
  • John: Asked what happened to the An Abundance of Katherines cover contest, John says it is part of why he is going to New York: on Thursday (7 June 2012) he announces the winner and reveals the cover. (00:00:31)
• Q: “How do you feel about Looking For Alaska getting banned from several high schools in Tennessee?” (00:00:37)
  • John: Asked about Looking for Alaska being banned from several Tennessee high schools, John calls it bad: such bans used to make him really angry, now they just make him sad. (00:00:40)
• Q: “Would you go on Dancing With the Stars?” (00:01:04)
  • John: John would not go on Dancing with the Stars: it combines reality television and dancing in front of people, two of his least favorite things. (00:01:06)
• Q: “Would you be okay with the United States becoming more like Canada?” (00:01:11)
  • John: John would accept the US becoming more like Canada if that means longer, healthier lives, more employment and less sexual violence, but not putting a queen on the money. (00:01:14)
• Q: “Will you cast Nerdfighters in The Fault In Our Stars movie?” (00:02:25)
  • John: Asked whether he will cast nerdfighters in a Fault in Our Stars movie, John says if Fox makes it he will have exactly as much say in casting as viewers, and should not be trusted with it. (00:02:27)
• Q: “How do I gently tell a boy that I'm not romantically interested in him?” (00:03:04)
  • John: Asked how to gently tell a boy you are not romantically interested in him, John offers his one piece of relationship advice: use your words. (00:03:07)

Burning Peeps, My OTP, and Velociraptors: It's Question Tuesday

2012-10-16 · John, Henry Green · 9 questions · Burning Peeps, My OTP, and Velociraptors: It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “Why is legislation to kill the penny being held up in Congress?” (00:00:35)
  • John: Asked why legislation to kill the penny is held up in Congress, John jokes that the current Congress could not pass anything, even to save itself. (00:00:37)
• Q: “What does the raven symbolize in that Edgar Allen Poe poem?” (00:00:49)
  • John: John says the raven in Poe's poem symbolizes death, and as a rule of thumb anything that looks like a symbol in Poe is death. (00:00:51)
• Q: “What's something you've always wanted to microwave?” (00:00:57)
  • John: Asked what he has always wanted to microwave, John eats burnt microwaved Peeps from a hot plate with his lunch of apples, the title bit of the video. (00:01:02)
• Q: “Best book I've never heard of?” (00:01:30)
  • John: As the best book you've never heard of, John recommends Peter De Vries's The Blood of the Lamb, which inspired large parts of An Imperial Affliction by Peter Van Houten. (00:01:31)
• Q: “When is that box set thing coming out?” (00:01:41)
  • John: John says the box set comes out on October 25th, with a limited edition in which both The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska are signed; link in the description. (00:01:43)
• Q: “Did Barack Obama's tumblr really post Hank's voting video?” (00:02:35)
  • John: Asked whether Barack Obama's Tumblr really posted Hank's voting video, John first says no, then, surprised, tells Hank he is on the President's Tumblr. (00:02:37)
• Q: “Why don't any of the main characters in your books have siblings?” (00:02:45)
  • John (joke): Asked why his main characters have no siblings, John jokes it is his way of telling Hank he doesn't exist in his narrative imagination, then 'who the eff is Hank?' (00:02:48)
• Q: “Hey, what have you learned from teaching world history for a year?” (00:03:00)
  • John: From a year of teaching world history, John says humans generally get less miserable when they collaborate and get totally hosed when they choose ideology over actual humans. (00:03:02)
• Q: “Hey, when will your next book come out?” (00:03:10)
  • John: John doesn't know when his next book will come out, perhaps 2014 or 2015; it's going to be a while. (00:03:11)

2013

An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall

2013-01-15 · John, Hank, Ashley Clements, Daniel Gordh, John Darnielle, Neil Gaiman, Hannah Hart, Kimya Dawson, Grace Helbig · 8 questions · An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall

• Q: “John, advice for aspiring novelists.” (01:46:39)
  • John: John's advice to aspiring novelists: read a lot and broadly, tell stories to friends and notice when they get bored (also good for vlogging), and write a lot. (01:46:39)
• Q: “When do I start feeling like a real adult?” (01:47:47)
  • Hank: Asked when you start feeling like a real adult, Hank says he's the wrong person to ask; he thinks adulthood is things being the same every day for years, so hopefully never. (01:48:09)
• Q: “What is something that you have learned about your brother John that you never knew before you started Vlogbrothers?” (01:49:18)
  • Hank: Asked what he learned about John since Vlogbrothers began, Hank jokes about John's 'serious psychological issues', then offers answers John 'might have given': how smart and how funny he is. (01:49:18)
• Q: “How do you feel about playing Carnegie Hall?” (01:51:36)
  • John: Asked how playing Carnegie Hall feels, John says writers mostly sit alone, so this is more fun: 'quite nice', a Dutch understatement he picked up living in Amsterdam. (01:51:36)
• Q: “Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?” (01:53:19)
  • Hank: Hank says he had a crush on his junior-year high-school English teacher, who is now a Nerdfighter taking part in the Project for Awesome and the comments. (01:53:19)
• Q: “when you first began writing seriously did you doubt your skills” (01:54:04)
  • John: John says self-doubt about writing never goes away: with each new novel he feels as if he has never written one before. (01:54:04)
• Q: “Okay, Hank, what do you think is the most impactful thing to decrease world suck that has come” (01:55:09)
  • Hank: Asked what most decreased world suck, Hank names P4A but recalls their first-year visit to a microfinance organization in the Dominican Republic; microfinance seems to really work. (01:55:09)
• Q: “Jon, does writing ever make you feel overly exposed?” (01:56:38)
  • John: John says novels don't make him feel overly exposed, since fictionality protects him, but very personal writing such as blog posts does. (01:56:38)

How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday

2013-01-22 · John · 8 questions · How to Be More Than Friends: Question Tuesday

• Q: “Favorite part of the evening of awesome?” (00:00:47)
  • John: Asked his favorite part of the Evening of Awesome, John answers: all of it. (00:00:47)
• Q: “What would you most like to tell Esther about?” (00:00:50)
  • John: Asked what he would most like to tell Esther about, John says he wishes she could have read The Fault in Our Stars and often wonders whether she would have liked it. (00:00:50)
• Q: “Hey, how do I know if someone wants to be just friends or more than friends?” (00:01:01)
  • John: Asked how to tell whether someone wants to be 'just friends' or 'more than friends', John says use your words, and questions why language makes face-licking the step past friendship. (00:01:01)
• Q: “Why is your tumblr called fishing boat proceeds?” (00:01:48)
  • John: Asked why his Tumblr is called Fishing Boat Proceeds, John says since 2007 he has hoped for fishing boat proceeds so he can tick a special box on his tax return; it hasn't happened yet. (00:01:48)
• Q: “Are you ever afraid of running out of ideas for books or getting writer's block so crippling that you never write again?” (00:02:00)
  • John: Asked whether he fears running out of book ideas or crippling writer's block, John says yes, and thanks the asker for mentioning it. (00:02:00)
• Q: “Does Holden Caufield ever change?” (00:02:14)
  • John: Answering questions on Romeo ('if he were named Paris he wouldn't be nearly so hot') and Holden Caulfield, John points to Crash Course episodes and tells viewers they should subscribe. (00:02:07)
• Q: “TFiOS movie?” (00:02:19)
  • John: Asked about the TFIOS movie, John says he loves the script but doesn't think he is allowed to say anything else. (00:02:19)
• Q: “Do you have any tips for a scared parent-to-be?” (00:02:24)
  • John: Asked for tips for a scared parent-to-be, John says everyone feels unqualified at first, but you only have to trick the baby into thinking you're qualified; babies are easy to trick. (00:02:24)

Puppies, Pegasi, and TFiOS Casting: It's Question Tuesday

2013-05-14 · John · 8 questions · Puppies, Pegasi, and TFiOS Casting: It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “What's your favorite photograph?” (00:00:22)
  • John: Asked for his favourite photograph, John picks 'Young Farmers' (also called 'Three Farmers on Their Way to a Dance, August 1914'), noting they were also headed for World War I. (00:00:24)
• Q: “TFiOS casting?!” (00:00:37)
  • John: John confirms the TFIOS film casting: Ansel Elgort as Augustus Waters and Shailene Woodley as Hazel Grace Lancaster. (00:00:37)
• Q [challenge]: “But I am a GIANT SQUID OF ANGER about this!!” (00:00:44)
  • John: To fans angry about the casting, John says he too wants a good movie; having seen the auditions, he says viewers will just see Hazel and Gus, not the actors. (00:00:44)
• Q: “How much say do you actually have in casting?” (00:01:04)
  • John: John says he has a surprising amount of say in casting: he is not casting the movie, but the producers and director include him in everything. (00:01:04)
• Q: “Are you good at multitasking?” (00:01:37)
  • John: John says studies consistently show that the better people think they are at multitasking, the worse they actually are (then claims he is great at it). (00:01:37)
• Q: “How does it feel to be a doctor?” (00:01:45)
  • John: Asked how it feels to be a doctor, John says about the same as before, and says he has hardly taken off his 'cape thing'. (00:01:45)
• Q [request]: “If you could only recommend one book to nerdfighteria, what would it be?” (00:02:08)
  • John: Asked for one book to recommend, John says it changes weekly; for now he recommends The End Games by T. Michael Martin (zombie) and How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia (non-zombie). (00:02:08)
• Q: “Hey, where do the ducks go when the pond freezes over?” (00:02:37)
  • John: John says the Central Park pond Holden Caulfield wonders about never freezes, so its ducks stay, citing Central Park's official photographer of 27 years. (00:02:37)

GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN!

2013-05-17 · Hank, Henry Reich · 4 questions · GIFs, JIFs, Whip Pans, Trivia, and BATMAN!

• Q: “What country is Nerdfighteria bigger than?” (00:00:06)
  • Hank: Hank's research: counting regular watchers Nerdfighteria is bigger than 61 countries (incl. Barbados); counting subscribers, 85 countries (incl. Djibouti, Africa's least populous). (00:00:44)
• Q: “Thoughts on YouTube paid subscriptions?” (00:01:22)
  • Hank: On YouTube paid subscriptions, Hank says he doesn't know how people will use them, hopes in innovative ways, and favours people making money from what they produce. (00:01:22)
• Q: “Is Batman really a superhero, or just a super rich guy?” (00:01:45)
  • Hank: Asked whether Batman is a superhero or just a rich guy, Hank ventures he is more of a superhero than others, having no powers, just money. (00:01:45)
• Q: “How can light be affected by black holes if it has no mass?” (00:02:18)
  • Henry Reich: Henry Reich explains that light is affected by black holes because gravity is an interaction between objects with energy and momentum, which light has. (00:02:18)

TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More!

2013-07-19 · John, Hank · 6 questions · TFiOS Movie, Bees, Babies, and More!

• Q: “Are there any foods that you wish were more readily available in the US?” (00:00:08)
  • Hank: Asked which foods they wish were more readily available in the US, Hank names paprika Pringles. (00:00:08)
• Q: “will you be coming to Amsterdam?” (00:01:03)
  • John: John says people seem to think the movie is being made by him, but he is just the author of a book. (00:01:07)
• Q: “Are you missing a tooth?” (00:01:13)
  • John: Asked if he's missing a tooth, John says yes: it caused terrible chronic pain since before Brotherhood 2.0, was removed in complicated, painful surgery, and no longer hurts. (00:01:16)
• Q: “Has Alice done a nerdfighter salute yet?” (00:01:24)
  • John: Asked whether Alice has done a Nerdfighter salute, John says she is one month old and has made no intentional gestures yet. (00:01:24)
• Q: “How do I stop feeling like I'm not doing anything with my life?” (00:01:58)
  • John: John says Larry Langford, now in prison, was mayor of his quasi-hometown Birmingham, Alabama, and ran for mayor with the motto 'Let's do something'. (00:02:01)
  • John: John says it turns out that just doing something is a terrible, terrible idea. (00:02:14)
  • John: John advises focusing not on doing something but on doing good things, even very little ones like nice favors for people you like. (00:02:19)
• Q: “What is something surprising you've learned today?” (00:02:32)
  • John: John says he learned that China's monopoly on the world silk trade ended when two monks smuggled about seven silkworms out of China to the Byzantine Empire, rewriting history. (00:02:40)

Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie)

2013-09-17 · John, Nat Wolff · 6 questions · Question Tuesday with Nat Wolff (aka Isaac in The Fault in Our Stars movie)

• Q: “Is Shailene Woodley a good kisser?” (00:00:19)
  • Nat Wolff: Asked if Shailene Woodley is a good kisser, Nat says he wouldn't know: Isaac doesn't get to kiss Hazel. (00:00:28)
• Q: “What part of the book are you most excited to see in the movie?” (00:00:35)
  • Nat Wolff: Nat says he has filmed the trophy scene and thinks it went well. (00:00:37)
• Q: “How true to the book is the movie?” (00:00:55)
  • Nat Wolff: Nat says the movie is very true to the book: people love it and it is already so realistic that barely anything had to change. (00:00:55)
• Q: “If you could only watch one more movie in your life, Nat, what would it be?” (00:01:33)
  • Nat Wolff: Nat says the one movie he would watch would probably be Taxi Driver, probably his favourite movie of all time. (00:01:36)
• Q: “What's it been like hanging out with, uh, actual teen cancer survivors?” (00:01:45)
  • Nat Wolff: Nat says meeting teen cancer survivors at a hospital was overwhelming: within minutes they talked movies, TV and music, and he realised they are normal kids in a really lame situation. (00:01:48)
• Q: “What's it like playing a blind person?” (00:02:30)
  • Nat Wolff: Nat says that when filming Isaac's blind scenes he really can't see, using covered glasses or contacts, which is freeing: you lose all self-consciousness. (00:02:31)

Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition

2013-10-22 · John · 13 questions · Question Tuesday: The Fault in Our Stars Movie Edition

• Q: “When you were writing The Fault in Our Stars, did you ever think it would become a movie?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John never thought The Fault in Our Stars would become a movie: Hollywood rarely makes love stories about disabled teenagers, with a lead wearing a nasal cannula in every scene; he is delighted. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Did you really cry a lot while you were on the movie set?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John confirms he cried a lot on the movie set, because, without spoilers, there are some sad parts. (00:00:00)
• Q: “John, are you gonna be in the movie?” (00:00:29)
  • John: John says he will be in the movie unless his scene is cut, in a 'really important role' he is not yet allowed to reveal. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Was that your first time ever acting?” (00:00:29)
  • John: John doubts that what he did on set counts as acting, and expects nobody to suggest a screen career once they see the film. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Hey, do you have an official release date that I can put on my calendar and scream about?” (00:00:29)
  • John: The film comes out on June 6 in the US; John does not yet know the international dates. (00:00:29)
  • John: John asks viewers to put the release date in their calendars, because a film's success is now judged largely by how many people see it in the first 24 hours. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Why is the premiere date so far away?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Shooting finished five days ago; the film now has to be edited, which is when it really becomes a movie and takes a long time; it is held for June as summer fare. (00:00:58)
• Q: “How does it feel to be a big-time movie producer making the big bucks?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John stresses he is not a producer and the film is not his movie: he is not its director, producer, casting director, music supervisor or actor. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Will Troye Sivan's song about Tifios be on the soundtrack?” (00:01:27)
  • John: Whether Troye Sivan's song about TFIOS goes on the soundtrack is not John's decision, though he loves the song. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Is the movie the exact same as the book?” (00:01:27)
  • John: The movie is not the same as the book and should not be: a film tells a visual story, a book a textual one. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Should I read the book before seeing the movie, or the other way around?” (00:01:56)
  • John: John, admitting he is biased, says viewers should definitely read the book before seeing the movie. (00:01:56)
• Q: “Since it was filmed in Pittsburgh, how did the movie recreate-” (00:01:56)
  • John: Indianapolis landmarks were recreated in Pittsburgh by set designers; Funky Bones was rebuilt with help from the artist and Sarah, who flew out to check it, and up close John could not tell it from the real one. (00:02:26)
• Q: “What do you think about people's saying Shailene is too attractive to play Hazel” (00:02:55)
  • John: To people saying Shailene is too attractive to play Hazel, John replies he is offended on Hazel's behalf: the book never says she is not attractive. (00:02:55)
• Q: “Did you have any preconceived ideas about movies that got blown out of the water?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John used to think films were about actors, directors, producers and maybe a cinematographer; he had not understood that everyone in the credits is vital. (00:02:55)

REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John!

2013-11-29 · Hank, John · 5 questions · REUNION! Arm Wrestling, Drawing, and Questions with Hank and John!

• Q: “How many times have you read The Fault in Our Stars?” (00:00:05)
  • John: John says he has read the finished hardcover of The Fault in Our Stars zero times, since there are many books by others he could read. (00:00:07)
• Q: “What's your favorite book series at the moment?” (00:00:22)
  • John: John says his favorite book series will always be Harry Potter, though he likes Divergent a lot. (00:00:24)
• Q: “Which one of you would win at an arm wrestling match?” (00:00:27)
  • John & Hank: Asked who would win at arm wrestling, the brothers arm-wrestle; John concedes, saying he could have kept going but was laughing too hard, and Hank claims he won with his wit. (00:00:27)
• Q: “Is dftba.com doing anything for Black Friday?” (00:02:57)
  • John & Hank: For Black Friday DFTBA.com has $3 shipping on all orders, no matter the size, even international. (00:03:00)
• Q: “How do you make a really good Project For Awesome video?” (00:03:13)
  • John: John says a good P4A video does not just talk to the camera about why a charity matters to you but shows the charity at work. (00:03:16)

Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday

2013-12-13 · Hank, Sydney Green, Mike Green · 5 questions · Mom and Dad Green! Extra Special Question Tuesday

• Q: “Why did you name your son William if you were gonna call him Hank?” (00:00:29)
  • Sydney Green: Sydney says that, being Southern, they named Hank William Henry after his two grandfathers. (00:00:36)
• Q: “Did you have alternate names for us if we were going to be girls” (00:00:53)
  • Sydney Green: Sydney says she had no girl name for Hank because she knew he was a boy; the girl name for John was Elizabeth. (00:00:59)
• Q: “Do your friends and family understand what we do?” (00:02:17)
  • Sydney Green: Sydney says their friends and family clearly understand what John does, but not what Hank does with the videos. (00:02:21)
• Q: “What's your number one parenting tip?” (00:02:48)
  • Mike Green: Mike gives his number-one parenting tip in one word: encourage. (00:02:48)
• Q: “How did you decide to live where you do?” — asked by Henry Reich (00:03:05)
  • Mike Green: Mike says they live about 20 minutes outside Asheville and chose the place with a spreadsheet of indicators that came almost all from the census. (00:03:07)

2014

The Naughty Professor: Hank and John at the Beach - REUNION!

2014-01-24 · Hank, John · 3 questions · The Naughty Professor: Hank and John at the Beach - REUNION!

• Q: “When is the Art Assignment going to premiere?” (00:00:47)
  • John: John says the first episode of The Art Assignment comes out in late February and asks viewers to subscribe via the doobly-doo link. (00:00:48)
• Q: “How come Dave Green is never in the videos?” (00:01:22)
  • Hank: Asked why Dave Green is never in the videos, Hank explains Dave is a 'third unsuccessful brother' made up by a Tumblr; John is surprised to have an imaginary brother. (00:01:22)
• Q: “Why is love so hard?” (00:01:35)
  • John: Answering why love is so hard, John says love should always be a little bit of work because it matters; Hank agrees, and John adds there are many kinds of love. (00:01:50)

Question Tuesday! TFIOS Movie Trailer, Penguin Knees, and Backflips

2014-01-28 · John · 8 questions · Question Tuesday! TFIOS Movie Trailer, Penguin Knees, and Backflips

• Q: “Hey, how to you feel about the trailer for the TFiOS movie leaking?” (00:00:22)
  • John: John is kind of upset that the TFIOS film trailer leaked, mostly because it is a beautiful high-definition trailer, not a low-res phone video of a screener. (00:00:22)
• Q: “Hey speaking of movies, if a movie were to be made about Dave Green, who do you think would play him?” (00:00:56)
  • John: Asked who would play Dave Green in a movie, John picks Benedict Cumberbatch; asked if he likes Dave more than Hank, he notes Dave never gave him a cold. (00:00:56)
• Q: “How excited are you about Esther's book coming out today?” (00:01:15)
  • John: Esther Earl's book comes out today; John is 'so flipping excited' and calls the book wonderful. (00:01:15)
• Q: “I just read Franny and Zooey, and I can't stop thinking about the quote” (00:01:55)
  • John: On Franny and Zooey's line about the courage to be an absolute nobody, John says it takes tremendous courage to do worthwhile things rather than worry about being celebrated. (00:02:02)
• Q: “Which U.S. president would you have play a character in The Fault in our Stars movie?” (00:02:24)
  • John (joke): Asked which US presidents should play TFIOS film characters, John casts the whole film, e.g. Obama as Gus, Jefferson as Hazel, Andrew Johnson as Van Houten, Carter as Patrick. (00:02:24)
• Q: “Do you have any fishing boat proceeds for 2013?” (00:02:45)
  • John: John still has no fishing boat proceeds (his Tumblr makes GIFs, not income); he notes the seven-year-old joke is lost on most and trusts old Nerdfighters to explain it. (00:02:45)
• Q: “At what point am I considered a Nerdfighter?” (00:03:00)
  • John: John says that if you want to be a Nerdfighter, you probably already are one. (00:03:02)
• Q: “And lastly, John, how many backflips can you do?” (00:03:13)
  • John: Asked how many backflips he can do, John attempts one and reports zero, partly blaming the massive cold Hank gave him. (00:03:13)

Question Tuesday: TFIOS Movie, Existential Crises, and Symbolism

2014-03-11 · John · 10 questions · Question Tuesday: TFIOS Movie, Existential Crises, and Symbolism

• Q: “Why is Hamlet's father also named Hamlet?” (00:00:04)
  • John: Answering why Hamlet's father is also named Hamlet ('old-fashioned Shakespearean doubling'), John says it will be discussed in detail in next week's (week of 17 March 2014) Crash Course Literature. (00:00:06)
• Q: “Do you think the TFiOS movie is actually good or do you feel obliged to say that because it's based off of your book?” (00:00:11)
  • John: Asked if he really thinks the TFIOS film is good, John says he'd find nice things to say even if he didn't like it, but in fact he loves it, though he might be wrong and isn't objective. (00:00:16)
• Q: “Do you think people who read are more empathetic than those who don't?” (00:00:33)
  • John: John says studies show a correlation between empathy and reading, at least for literary fiction. (00:00:36)
• Q: “I don't watch your videos, why should I?” (00:00:45)
  • John: John calls 'I don't watch your videos, why should I?' a terrible Question Tuesday question, since such a viewer by definition won't hear his answer. (00:00:47)
• Q: “Are there more stars in the universe or grains of sand on earth?” (00:01:15)
  • John: John thinks there are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on Earth, calling it a beautiful question that makes him grateful to apprehend the universe; more info in the description. (00:01:19)
• Q: “How are you enjoying participating in The Art Assignment?” (00:01:34)
  • John: John says participating in The Art Assignment is the most fun he has had in a long time, like early Vlogbrothers: a tight-knit community doing projects and responding to each other's work. (00:01:36)
• Q: “How excited are you for the Divergent movie in two weeks?” (00:01:47)
  • John: John says he is 'already-bought-my-tickets-for-opening-day' excited for the Divergent film, two weeks away. (00:01:50)
• Q: “What are your predictions for this years Indycar season?” (00:01:53)
  • John: Revealing he is a secret IndyCar fan, John predicts Tony Kanaan will win the Indy 500 for the second time and Will Power will take the series title. (00:01:58)
• Q: “Why do writers use symbolism?” (00:02:13)
  • John: On why writers use symbolism, John says a metaphor like 'my brain is on fire' is used so a serious headache can be understood as one needing attention. (00:02:14)
• Q: “What are you most excited about right now?” (00:03:29)
  • John: John says he is most excited right now about The Art Assignment and asks viewers to say in comments what they are most excited about. (00:03:34)

REUNION TUESDAY! FRIDAY! WHATEVER!

2014-09-05 · Hank, John · 5 questions · REUNION TUESDAY! FRIDAY! WHATEVER!

• Q: “What were your first cars?” (00:00:31)
  • John: John's first car was a 1991 Volvo 240 named Arlo. (00:00:35)
  • Hank: Hank says Arlo was his first car too, and afterwards he got the same car again, white and smelling more like vomit. (00:00:40)
• Q: “How do you find a nerdfighter at your university?” (00:01:01)
  • John: John suggests finding nerdfighters at university by wearing nerdfighter clothing, and notes many colleges now have nerdfighter clubs. (00:01:02)
• Q: “Who is playing Margo in the Paper Towns movie?” (00:01:16)
  • Hank (joke): Asked who plays Margo in the Paper Towns movie, Hank jokingly claims the role, purely for the money, as 'the Nick Cage of John Green movies'. (00:01:16)
• Q: “Beth would like to know, will she be able to buy one of those posters you signed?” (00:01:53)
  • Hank: Hank explains they are at the warehouse because John has been signing posters all day; the signed posters can be bought at dftba.com. (00:01:53)
• Q: “Any advice on strengthening relationships between siblings?” (00:02:08)
  • John: John's advice to siblings is to make a video blog together; he thinks shared projects work for most relationships. (00:02:12)
  • John: Asked for sibling advice, John says he believes in shared projects: he and Hank are a lot closer because they do things together. (00:02:13)

It's Question Tuesday! Cheesy Jokes, Paper Towns Movie, and Dinosaur Butt Brains

2014-09-16 · John · 16 questions · It's Question Tuesday! Cheesy Jokes, Paper Towns Movie, and Dinosaur Butt Brains

• Q: “You got any new books coming?” (00:00:16)
  • John: Asked whether he has new books coming, John says he is trying. (00:00:16)
• Q: “Hey, in TFiOS, did you name Isaac that because his eyes are sick?” (00:00:18)
  • John: John says he did not name TFiOS's Isaac as a pun on 'eyes sick' but after the man in the Hebrew Bible who also went blind. (00:00:21)
• Q: “How excited are you that the TFiOS DVD comes out tomorrow?” (00:00:28)
  • John: The TFiOS film comes out on DVD today, John says, with an extended cut. (00:00:31)
• Q: “Will you ever appear in a movie of your books?” (00:00:38)
  • John: John says he had a cameo in the TFiOS film but it was cut, joking that his screen presence was too powerful. (00:00:41)
• Q: “Any news about the Looking For Alaska or Paper Towns movies?” (00:00:52)
  • John: John says he does not know much about the Looking for Alaska film. (00:00:54)
  • John: John says the Paper Towns film looks really likely to happen: they have hired a director, Jake Schreier, who made Robot & Frank. (00:00:54)
• Q: “If you could change anything about your books, what would it be?” (00:01:10)
  • John: Asked what he would change in his books, John says 'deadpan' appears about twelve times in Looking for Alaska, probably eleven times too many. (00:01:11)
• Q: “How do I pass AP Chemistry?” (00:01:17)
  • John: To pass AP Chemistry, John suggests Crash Course might help. (00:01:19)
• Q: “Are oranges named after orange, or is orange named after oranges?” (00:01:26)
  • John: John says the fruit was named orange at least two hundred years before the colour was. (00:01:28)
• Q: “Will there be a nerdfighter meet-up soon?” (00:01:36)
  • John: Asked about meetups, John points to location-specific nerdfighter groups around the world (link in the description), says there are many gatherings he has enjoyed, and urges viewers to check them out. (00:01:37)
• Q: “Why you love the metaphors?” (00:01:45)
  • John: John argues most humans love metaphors because so much human thinking is symbolic, e.g. imagining a meningitis headache as a vice gripping the head. (00:01:46)
• Q [challenge]: “Can you make a metaphor using the word "slay"?” (00:02:06)
  • John: John says colloquial 'slay' is already metaphoric: a Taylor Swift song didn't kill you, but the experience was so awesome you are metaphorically dead. (00:02:08)
• Q [request]: “Hey, review Hank's album.” (00:02:33)
  • John: Asked to review Hank's album, John playfully calls it Hank's best album to date, with the Perfect Strangers' punk energy, and gives it five out of five stars. (00:02:34)
• Q: “Aren't you and Hank supposed to do a punishment?” (00:02:46)
  • John: Asked about a punishment, John says he owes one and asks Hank what it is. (00:02:47)
• Q: “How'd you decide on baby names?” (00:02:49)
  • John: Asked how they chose baby names, John says they just stole their grandparents' names. (00:02:51)
• Q: “Are signed posters really signed, or just digitally?” (00:03:25)
  • John: John says signed posters are really signed: he signed them with his hand and a pen. (00:03:28)
• Q: “What's your favorite dinosaur?” (00:03:39)
  • John: John's favourite dinosaur is Stegosaurus because, when he was a kid, paleontologists thought it had two brains, a head brain and a butt brain. (00:03:40)

Lacey and Angela Question Tuesday: Pizzamas Day 2

2014-11-11 · John, Halston Sage, Jaz Sinclair · 10 questions · Lacey and Angela Question Tuesday: Pizzamas Day 2

• Q: “What's your favorite scene in the movie or the book?” (00:00:26)
  • Halston Sage: Halston Sage's favourite scene in the movie or book is the bathtub scene with Q. (00:00:27)
  • Jaz Sinclair: Jaz Sinclair's favourite scene is Drunk Ben. (00:00:30)
• Q: “Is John a good executive producer?” (00:00:45)
  • Jaz Sinclair: Asked whether John is a good executive producer, Jaz Sinclair says he does so much. (00:00:46)
• Q: “How do I ask out this guy I like to get coffee with me?” (00:01:02)
  • John: Answering a viewer who wants to ask a guy out for coffee, John demonstrates in his husky voice: just say hi and ask if he wants to get coffee. (00:01:02)
• Q: “What is your favorite prop on the movie set?” (00:01:15)
  • Jaz Sinclair: Jaz Sinclair's favourite prop on the Paper Towns set is the Black Santas. (00:01:18)
• Q: “What's your favorite song?” (00:01:28)
  • Halston Sage: Halston Sage's favourite song is 'Banana Pancakes' by Jack Johnson. (00:01:29)
  • Jaz Sinclair: Jaz Sinclair's favourite band right now is the Milk Carton Kids. (00:01:36)
• Q: “Who, among the boys in the movie, in your opinion, can do the most push-ups?” (00:01:40)
  • Halston Sage: Asked which boy in the cast can do the most push-ups, Halston Sage points to Austin, who did push-ups between takes to stay warm. (00:01:46)
• Q: “Do you see Nat as a friend, brother, or lover?” (00:02:07)
  • John: Asked whether he sees Nat as a friend, brother or lover, John picks friend. (00:02:15)
• Q: “Do you have a favorite book?” (00:02:21)
  • Halston Sage: Asked for a favourite book, Halston Sage answers Paper Towns and asks John whether he has read it. (00:02:22)
• Q: “Do you have a ritual before you start filming a scene?” (00:02:58)
  • Halston Sage: Halston Sage says the cast sometimes sing together before a big group scene. (00:03:03)
• Q: “Do you have any advice for the heartbroken?” (00:03:06)
  • Halston Sage: Halston Sage's advice for the heartbroken: surround yourself with friends and family and remember you can love again. (00:03:07)
  • Jaz Sinclair: Jaz Sinclair's advice for the heartbroken: use it rather than wait for the pain to pass, by writing, painting, drawing, singing or crying; such intense emotions are rare and not necessarily bad if used. (00:03:15)

Question Tuesday with Cara Delevingne of Paper Towns

2014-12-09 · John, Cara Delevingne · 7 questions · Question Tuesday with Cara Delevingne of Paper Towns

• Q: “What's it like to kiss Nat?” (00:00:09)
  • Cara Delevingne: Asked what it is like to kiss Nat, Cara says he is a really good kisser, as she and a friend who also kissed him agreed. (00:00:11)
• Q: “Is Margo someone that you can relate to?” (00:00:28)
  • Cara Delevingne: Cara says she relates to Margo, which she thinks is why she got the part: she has lived many of the character's stories, said many of the script's lines, and like Margo runs on instinct. (00:00:30)
• Q: “What is your opinion of my eyebrows?” (00:01:17)
  • Cara Delevingne: Asked for her opinion of John's eyebrows, Cara says she expected them to be coarser and finds them nice, with a good texture. (00:01:17)
• Q: “Have you read the book Paper Towns?” (00:01:36)
  • Cara Delevingne: Cara says she has read Paper Towns and really liked it; she had not known how good John was and expected him to be younger, since he writes a young perspective so well. (00:01:39)
• Q: “How did you feel when you found out you'd been cast for this?” (00:02:01)
  • Cara Delevingne: Cara says she cried when she learned she had been cast, alone in a hotel room getting ready for work when the call came. (00:02:03)
• Q: “Would you rather the world contain a puppy-sized elephant or an elephant-sized puppy?” (00:03:10)
  • Cara Delevingne: Asked whether the world should contain a puppy-sized elephant or an elephant-sized puppy, Cara chooses the puppy-sized elephant, to John's delight. (00:03:10)
• Q: “And what is the meaning of life?” (00:03:24)
  • Cara Delevingne: Asked the meaning of life, Cara answers: love. (00:03:24)

2015

Beards, Birds, and the Paper Towns Release Date: Question Tuesday!

2015-02-03 (said on 2015-01-30, implied) · John · 14 questions · Beards, Birds, and the Paper Towns Release Date: Question Tuesday!

• Q: “BEARD?!” (00:00:12)
  • John: John says he is kind of growing a beard, because Sarah wants him to. (00:00:13)
• Q: “In your book Looking for Alaska, was Alaska's 'blank' a 'blank' or a 'blank?'” (00:00:30)
  • John: Asked a spoiler-blanked question about Alaska in Looking for Alaska, John says he doesn't know; for him the question is whether we can live hopeful, thoughtful lives despite ambiguity. (00:00:34)
• Q: “Hey when's the Paper Towns movie come out?” (00:00:44)
  • John: John says the Paper Towns movie comes out June 5th. (00:00:46)
• Q: “Do you have any productivity tips?” (00:00:54)
  • John: John's only productivity tip: procrastinate until you feel sour panic-adrenaline, then work furiously; he admits it is a terrible tip. (00:00:57)
• Q: “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?” (00:01:09)
  • John: John says it takes between 150 and 500 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, and that there are studies about this (links in the description). (00:01:11)
• Q: “Favorite Art Assignment video?” (00:01:15)
  • John: John's favorite Art Assignment video is Christoph Niemann's Emotional Furniture; he also enjoyed the Highlights video in which he made prints with Sarah. (00:01:16)
• Q: “Favorite song by Taylor Swift?” (00:01:23)
  • John: John says his favorite Taylor Swift song is probably Blank Space, which Henry calls 'Boys Love Torture'. (00:01:24)
• Q: “Hey, are you writing a new book?” (00:01:27)
  • John: Asked repeatedly whether he is writing a new book, John says he is trying to, and that the questioning is not helping. (00:01:29)
• Q: “Do you have any advice for people who are engaged to be married?” (00:01:38)
  • John: John's advice for engaged couples: done right, the marriage will be much longer and more important than the wedding, so don't stress too much about the wedding. (00:01:40)
• Q: “Do you listen to rap music?” (00:01:49)
  • John: John says Nat and Justice introduced him to rap artists on the Paper Towns set, including Earl Sweatshirt, whom he likes a lot; in turn he introduced them to the Mountain Goats. (00:01:50)
• Q: “If Nerdfighteria became a sovereign nation, what would our national bird be?” (00:02:00)
  • John: John says if Nerdfighteria were a sovereign nation its national bird would be the owl, for wisdom, superpower hearing, swallowing mice whole and Hedwig, but he is open to suggestions. (00:02:04)
• Q: “Do you get stopped at the grocery a lot more now that Hank is so famous?” (00:02:17)
  • John: John says a movie-theater concessions worker, excited and speechless, finally told him it was wild because she had a huge crush on his brother. (00:02:20)
• Q: “Do you think all children should be vaccinated?” (00:02:37)
  • John: John says not all children should be vaccinated: immunosuppressed kids, e.g. with leukemia, and infants can't get some vaccines, which is precisely why everyone else should get vaccinated. (00:02:39)
• Q: “What should I name my pet rat?” (00:03:08)
  • John: John says there is really only one choice of name for a pet rat: Master Splinter. (00:03:09)

Question Tuesday with Cara Delevingne and Nat Wolff

2015-06-23 · John, Nat Wolff, Cara Delevingne · 4 questions · Question Tuesday with Cara Delevingne and Nat Wolff

• Q: “Who has inspired you the most in your career?” (00:00:32)
  • Nat Wolff: Asked by viewers, Nat Wolff says he would be an elephant and names John Green as the person who has inspired him most in his career. (00:00:32)
• Q: “Would you ride a llama if you were given the chance?” (00:01:49)
  • Cara Delevingne: Asked whether she would ride a llama, Cara Delevingne says obviously, because she wants to see how hard a llama actually spits; Nat says no. (00:01:51)
• Q: “do you have any advice on getting over a breakup?” (00:02:05)
  • Cara Delevingne: Cara Delevingne's advice for getting over a breakup: be distracted and get a new one, since there are plenty of them. (00:02:08)
• Q [challenge]: “Who would win in an arm-wrestling contest between Nat Wolff and John Green?” (00:03:35)
  • John: Asked who would win an arm-wrestling contest between Nat Wolff and John, they arm-wrestle on camera; Nat wins easily and John says it genuinely hurt. (00:03:35)

Question Tuesday: Wookiee Gunships, Sneezing Cessation, and Pizza

2015-08-04 · John · 12 questions · Question Tuesday: Wookiee Gunships, Sneezing Cessation, and Pizza

• Q: “If everybody stopped sneezing, how long do you think it would take somebody to realize it?” (00:00:10)
  • John: Asked how long it would take people to notice if everybody stopped sneezing, John guesses about a month but would like rigorous research on it. (00:00:14)
• Q: “How do you think having children has impacted your writing?” (00:00:26)
  • John: Asked how having children has affected his writing, John says that where 2009 John would have been writing, 2015 John builds a Lego Wookiee gunship, and he does not feel it is a bad change. (00:00:28)
• Q: “A girl at my school told me she'd rather be popular than smart, what's the correct response to this?” (00:00:38)
  • John: To a viewer whose schoolmate would rather be popular than smart, John suggests the right response is sympathy. (00:00:43)
• Q: “Hey John, what's your middle name?” (00:00:44)
  • John: Asked his middle name, John jokes 'Danger' before saying it is Michael. (00:00:46)
• Q: “Last TV show you marathoned?” (00:00:49)
  • John: The last TV show John marathoned was The Americans, which he calls excellent. (00:00:50)
• Q: “Who's a relatively unknown poet you love?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Asked for a relatively unknown poet he loves, John names the Persian poet Hafiz, who he feels is not as well known here as he should be. (00:01:01)
• Q: “Apart from pizza, what do you think is the best” (00:01:05)
  • John: John cuts off a question beginning "apart from pizza": there is no "apart from pizza", one of the few things that make him angry. (00:01:05)
• Q: “I heard they're making Looking For Alaska into a movie” (00:01:19)
  • John: Asked whom he will cast in the Looking for Alaska movie, John says he does not cast movie adaptations of his books, or any movies; he is a novelist, video blogger and pizza enthusiast, not a caster of films. (00:01:19)
• Q: “Hey, when are you gonna do your inkless tattoo punishment?” (00:01:33)
  • John: Asked when he will do his inkless tattoo punishment, John says 'Soon. Ish.' and asks viewers for tattoo ideas in the comments. (00:01:33)
• Q [challenge]: “I didn't see your cameo in the Paper Towns movie.” (00:02:06)
  • John: John says his cameo in the Paper Towns movie is not something you see so much as someone you hear. (00:02:06)
• Q: “Do you think you or Hank would get further in American Ninja Warrior.” (00:02:13)
  • John: John thinks he would get further than Hank in American Ninja Warrior: watching it with Henry gives him the advantage of knowing what it is, and he likes his odds past the quintuple steps. (00:02:13)
• Q [request]: “Can we see Willie?” (00:02:37)
  • John: Answering the week's most-asked question, 'Can we see Willie?', John calls Willy over with a treat. (00:02:34)

Question Tuesday: The Goat Edition

2015-08-25 · John, Hank · 4 questions · Question Tuesday: The Goat Edition

• Q: “would you rather fight one John-sized goat or three goat-sized Johns?” (00:00:17)
  • Hank: Asked whether he'd rather fight one John-sized goat or three goat-sized Johns, Hank picks the John-sized goat: John is crafty, and as a goat he'd be easier to fight. (00:00:17)
• Q: “John, where does the word "goat" come from?” (00:02:32)
  • John: Asked where the word 'goat' comes from, John says it comes from Old English. (00:02:32)
• Q: “What is your favorite breed of goat?” (00:02:37)
  • John & Hank: Asked their favourite goat breed, Hank picks the American mountain goat; John says The Mountain Goats too, specifically John Darnielle. (00:02:37)
• Q: “Here is a non-goat question for you Hank, what really gets your goat?” (00:03:22)
  • Hank: Asked what really gets his goat, Hank answers: when awful people succeed. (00:03:22)

Question Tuesday: My Social Media Hiatus, My Excellent German, and Books!

2015-10-06 · John · 13 questions · Question Tuesday: My Social Media Hiatus, My Excellent German, and Books!

• Q: “Favorite video game?” (00:00:23)
  • John: Asked his favourite video game, John answers the original Super Mario Kart. (00:00:23)
• Q: “Hey John, how are you today?” (00:00:24)
  • John: Asked how he is, John says he is good but a little annoyed about the overall quality of political discourse in the United States. (00:00:26)
• Q: “Also, do you have any book recommendations?” (00:00:24)
  • John: John recommends Mark Twain's Life on the Mississippi, which he is re-reading, and Toni Morrison's new novel: not her best book, but still great. (00:00:30)
• Q: “Do you have any unpopular opinions about classic literature?” (00:00:40)
  • John: Asked for unpopular opinions about classic literature, John sides with W. H. Auden: some books are undeservedly forgotten, none undeservedly remembered. (00:00:42)
• Q: “Do you think everyone should consider taking a hiatus from social media like you have?” (00:00:53)
  • John: Asked whether everyone should take a social media hiatus, John doesn't know, but he hasn't missed social media as much as he expected; it had become a really unhealthy place for him. (00:00:56)
• Q: “What's your new book about?” (00:01:32)
  • John: Asked what his new book is about, John can't say because he doesn't know which parts will end up in a book, but he put a clue in this video, decodable only after reading the story. (00:01:32)
• Q: “Did you ever read Henning Mankell?” (00:01:42)
  • John: John calls Henning Mankell, who died yesterday, a great Swedish crime novelist he admired for his stories and for making a lot of money and giving almost all of it away. (00:01:42)
• Q: “Is there an animal you'd like to see in the wild?” (00:02:33)
  • John: Asked which animal he'd like to see in the wild, John says he is pretty into tuatara lately. (00:02:35)
• Q: “How prepared do you feel for your drag race against Maggie Stiefvater on Friday?” (00:02:37)
  • John: On his drag race against Maggie Stiefvater on Friday (9 October 2015), John says a professional race car driver friend told him to be prepared to lose, so he guesses he is very prepared. (00:02:39)
• Q: “What's the most impressive word you use in casual conversation?” (00:03:00)
  • John: John uses the word 'eschatological' a lot, since no shorter word means the same, and calls his default emotional state eschatological anxiety. (00:03:02)
• Q: “What's the greenest green you've ever seen, John Green?” (00:03:13)
  • John: The greenest green John has seen was a forest in Brazil in the rain, everything impossibly green in slightly different shades. (00:03:15)
• Q: “If you could travel anywhere you wanted and live there for a year, where would it be?” (00:03:24)
  • John: Asked where he would live for a year anywhere in the world, John says that right now it would be this house. (00:03:28)
• Q: “If you could be stuck in the world of any TV show or movie, what would it be?” (00:03:36)
  • John: John would choose to be stuck in the world of Star Trek: The Next Generation, hanging out with Wesley Crusher, and suspects Hank agrees. (00:03:38)

Cheez Doodles Guy, Ringo Silver, and Dad Jokes (Pizzamas Day 4)

2015-11-12 · John · 9 questions · Cheez Doodles Guy, Ringo Silver, and Dad Jokes (Pizzamas Day 4)

• Q: “Why did you shave your beard?” (00:00:50)
  • John: Asked by a viewer who had just started to like his beard why he shaved it, John says it was mostly for the mustache joke, and it was also kind of itchy. (00:00:50)
• Q: “Do you know anymore dad jokes?” (00:01:15)
  • John: John says dad jokes are not something you know but something you are: he always says 'Tupperware, Tupper-here' at the drawer, to Sarah's disgust. (00:01:15)
• Q: “What should I get my boyfriend for Christmas?” (00:01:38)
  • John: John recommends Pizza John shoelaces and a Pizza John travel mug as gifts, available for pre-order only during Pizzamas at DFTBA.com. (00:01:38)
• Q: “How do you become well-read?” (00:01:53)
  • John: On becoming well-read, John says he doesn't know; he mostly reads books recommended by people he trusts, and recommends the amazing, weird sci-fi book Midnight Robber. (00:01:53)
• Q: “Would you consider getting a real tattoo, now that you've gotten a fake one?” (00:02:04)
  • John: John says his tattoo is not fake, just made with water instead of ink, so not visible but real; he would consider more invisible tattoos. (00:02:04)
• Q: “What do you think about ducks?” (00:02:16)
  • John: Asked about ducks, John says he spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about what happens to them when the pond freezes over in winter. (00:02:16)
• Q: “How do you become okay with being truly alone?” (00:02:22)
  • John: John argues you are both always and never truly alone: always, since no one can fully comprehend your experience; never, since you are part of an interconnected web of life grateful to have you. (00:02:25)
• Q: “In 50 years, what country do you think will be the world's biggest superpower?” (00:02:59)
  • John: Asked which country will be the biggest superpower in 50 years, John thinks nation-states will matter slightly less, but picks India. (00:02:59)
• Q: “Do you still have any leftover Halloween candy?” (00:03:33)
  • John: John admits he occasionally eats his two-year-old daughter's leftover Halloween candy because she won't notice. (00:03:33)

2016

The Looking for Alaska Movie, Davos, and Hufflepuff Shade: It's Question Tuesday

2016-01-19 · John · 12 questions · The Looking for Alaska Movie, Davos, and Hufflepuff Shade: It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “How's the writing going?” (00:00:44)
  • John: Asked how the writing is going, John says he thinks it is going well and apologizes that it is taking so long. (00:00:45)
• Q: “Hey, what's going to be the title of your new book?” (00:00:47)
  • John: Asked the title of his new book, John says he doesn't know and asks viewers to leave title ideas in the comments. (00:00:49)
• Q: “What is your opinion of inside jokes?” (00:00:53)
  • John (joke): Asked his opinion of inside jokes, John answers with Cheez Doodles Guy shouting joyfully. (00:00:55)
• Q: “Who are you going to vote for presi-” (00:01:01)
  • John: Asked whom he will vote for, John says he is not paying attention to the so-called presidential election until 100 days before Indiana's primary, and will enjoy his last few days of not thinking about it. (00:01:02)
• Q: “Can you six degrees of Kevin Bacon yourself?” (00:01:21)
  • John: Asked to six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon himself, John says he acted in The Fault in Our Stars movie (scene cut, but in the extended version) with Laura Dern, who was in Novocaine with Kevin Bacon. (00:01:23)
• Q: “How should a dog wear pants?” (00:01:31)
  • John: Asked how a dog should wear pants, John says that on dogs with pants he stands with the president. (00:01:33)
• Q: “At this point do presidential debates actually accomplish what they're supposed to accomplish?” (00:01:36)
  • John: John says that, as far as he can tell, presidential debates now exist to sell expensive advertising on cable news networks, and at that they are very effective. (00:01:39)
• Q: “How do you think the world will end?” (00:01:47)
  • John: Asked how the world will end, John says he has a top-ten list of eschatological anxieties but sides with T.S. Eliot: not with a bang but with a whimper. (00:01:49)
• Q: “When is Looking for Alaska gonna be made into a movie?” (00:01:56)
  • John: John says he sold the Looking for Alaska movie rights more than ten years ago, has tried many times to buy them back, attempts to make the film keep falling apart, and he is no longer involved. (00:02:02)
• Q: “Any plans to come back to Crash Course?” (00:02:41)
  • John: John says this summer Crash Course will do another Crash Course Literature mini-series: Huckleberry Finn, Invisible Man, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Their Eyes Were Watching God and some Shakespearean sonnets. (00:02:43)
• Q: “Who's your celebrity crush?” (00:02:53)
  • John: Asked his celebrity crush, John says right now it is definitely Lin-Manuel Miranda. (00:02:54)
• Q: “Is there a smell that is important to you and brings you back to a particular time in your life?” (00:02:56)
  • John: A spray scent called 'Spring Rain' takes John back to high school, where he and his roommate used it to cover the smell of cigarette smoke; the horrific scent makes him happy. (00:03:00)

My New Book, Marriage Advice, and Hamilton: 50 Snapchat Questions Answered!

2016-03-29 · John · 7 questions · My New Book, Marriage Advice, and Hamilton: 50 Snapchat Questions Answered!

• Q: “Why do you love writing?” (00:00:21)
  • John: John says he loves writing because it is his number one way of escaping the prison of his consciousness. (00:00:21)
• Q: “Biggest lesson from the refugee camps?” (00:00:25)
  • John: John says the refugee camps taught him the horror of dislocation: trauma within your own community differs from loss in a place that isn't yours, among strangers. (00:00:25)
• Q: “Hints about your new book?” (00:00:51)
  • John: Asked for hints about his new book, John says it concerns the White River. (00:00:51)
• Q: “Should I read 'The Fountainhead'?” (00:01:52)
  • John: Asked whether to read The Fountainhead, John replies that there are so many good books, implying it is not one. (00:01:52)
• Q: “Honest opinion on Donald Trump?” (00:02:00)
  • John: Asked his honest opinion of Donald Trump, John quotes Cyrus Ching: never wrestle with a pig; you get filthy, and the pig likes it. (00:02:00)
• Q: “We're newlyweds! How do we build a strong marriage?” (00:03:18)
  • John: To newlyweds asking how to build a strong marriage, John passes on his parents' two words of advice that have helped him: mutual generosity. (00:03:18)
• Q: “Is there gonna be more CrashCourse with you?” (00:03:37)
  • John: John says there will be more Crash Course with him: more literature this summer, and they are reading the books now. (00:03:37)

Questions (and Announcements) from VidCon

2016-06-24 (said on 2016-06-21, implied) · Hank · 5 questions · Questions (and Announcements) from VidCon

• Q: “Opinions on gerrymandering?” (00:00:51)
  • Hank: Asked for opinions on gerrymandering, Hank suggests watching CGP Grey's video about it. (00:00:51)
• Q: “Easy might be adopting two kittens tomorrow, what should she name them?” (00:01:13)
  • Hank: Asked what a viewer adopting two kittens should name them, Hank suggests Asiago and Cheddar. (00:01:13)
• Q: “Patrick wants to know if I have any tricks for conquering insomnia.” (00:01:22)
  • Hank: Asked for insomnia tricks, Hank says he reacts to stress with sleep; his insomnia has mostly come from caffeine, so he avoids it. (00:01:22)
• Q: “If you could have a fictional person be a guest at VidCon who would it be?” (00:01:43)
  • Hank: Asked which fictional person he would have as a VidCon guest, Hank weighs Luna Lovegood, Galadriel and Huck Finn and says he'd have to write a fanfic. (00:01:43)
• Q: “Describe your feelings about VidCon being this week.” (00:01:51)
  • Hank: Hank says he doesn't get to think much about VidCon and forms few memories rushing between things, and this one will be particularly intense because of three announcements. (00:01:55)

Decathlons, Pretension, and the Weirdest Animal I've Met: It's Question Thursday

2016-11-17 · John · 11 questions · Decathlons, Pretension, and the Weirdest Animal I've Met: It's Question Thursday

• Q: “How’s the new book coming along?” (00:00:06)
  • John: Asked how the new book is coming along, John says that in general the less he talks about it, the better it is going. (00:00:08)
• Q: “How do you want to be remembered?” (00:00:16)
  • John: John says he looks up most to his parents and secondarily Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and wants to be remembered as a father, husband and AFC Wimbledon sponsor. (00:00:13)
• Q: “What John Green quote are you most proud of?” (00:00:47)
  • John: John says the Looking for Alaska line "Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia" is not his: Sarah said it on their first date; he wrote it on a napkin and used it, with her permission. (00:00:49)
• Q: “How many copies of Harry Potter do you own?” (00:01:03)
  • John: John says they own one copy of each Harry Potter book except book four, of which they have two; one was on Quentin's nightstand in the Paper Towns movie. (00:01:05)
• Q: “If all the characters in your books ran for President, which one would have your vote?” (00:01:12)
  • John: Asked which of his characters he would vote for as president, John picks Hazel's mom from The Fault in Our Stars: cool under pressure, thoughtful, cautious, played by Laura Dern. (00:01:16)
• Q [request]: “Will you mention The Road to Nerdfighteria?” (00:01:57)
  • John: Asked to mention The Road to Nerdfighteria, John calls it an amazing project where nerdfighters around the world tell how they found Nerdfighteria, linked in the description. (00:01:59)
• Q: “Would you ever consider becoming President of the United States?” (00:02:04)
  • John: John says he would never consider running for President: he would be very bad at it, and it involves shaking hands with strangers and asking rich people for money. (00:02:06)
• Q: “John, why aren’t you Snapchatting?” (00:02:13)
  • John: John says a few months ago he turned his phone into a dumb phone that only texts, calls and plays Pokémon Go; the change has been kind of wonderful, though he misses Snapchat a little. (00:02:15)
• Q: “How do you stay informed about current events?” (00:02:27)
  • John: John says that about a year ago he began reading The Economist, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and The Indianapolis Star, and grew suspicious of his social media feed as the best way to stay informed. (00:02:29)
• Q: “How do you feel about social media, anyway?” (00:02:42)
  • John: John likens social media to an intense, fun romantic relationship burning the candle at both ends that will not last; maybe he should end it, but it isn't serious. (00:02:44)
• Q: “Why do you read fiction?” (00:03:00)
  • John: John reads fiction for consolation, feeling unalone even in his inexpressible fears, and to escape the prison of his consciousness and live in someone else's mind. (00:03:01)

Baby Poop Rookie: Vlogbrothers Reunited

2016-11-29 · John, Hank · 7 questions · Baby Poop Rookie: Vlogbrothers Reunited

• Q: “First, how is Orin doing?” (00:00:19)
  • Hank: Asked how Orin is, Hank says he is a good, very cute baby; he may have smiled at Hank that morning, or may just have been pooping. (00:00:20)
• Q: “Hank, why is there no sequel to The Fault in Our Stars?” (00:00:32)
  • Hank: Asked why there is no sequel to The Fault in Our Stars, Hank suggests it would maybe not have been the happiest book. (00:00:35)
  • John: John says he doesn't know how a sequel to The Fault in Our Stars could have happened, but people in Hollywood did make suggestions. (00:00:39)
• Q: “Favorite Disney movie, go!” (00:00:45)
  • John: Asked for his favourite Disney movie, John names the new one Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote the songs for. (00:00:51)
• Q: “What is the most surprising thing about having a baby?” (00:01:20)
  • Hank: Asked the most surprising thing about having a baby, Hank says the noise of the poops; on Orin's first day home he pooped with his diaper off and Hank tried to catch it by hand. (00:01:22)
• Q: “If you could take one book to a desert island, what book would it be?” (00:02:03)
  • John (hypothetical): For a desert-island book, John imagines a book that read forwards is the collected works of Shakespeare and read backwards is a survival guide for the island. (00:02:12)
  • Hank: Hank says he would take Patrick Rothfuss's Kingkiller trilogy, even though its last book isn't out yet. (00:02:31)
• Q: “Hank, do you have any self-care advice?” (00:02:56)
  • John & Hank: Asked for self-care advice, Hank defers to Self-Care Bunny, which John says is there to remind you to be nice to yourself. (00:02:56)
• Q [request]: “Alright Hank, write an autobiography in five words.” (00:03:23)
  • Hank: Asked for an autobiography in five words, Hank gives the one he wrote: 'He made stuff with John.' (00:03:33)

2017

Too Excited about Pears! (Question Tuesday with Hank)

2017-01-06 · Hank · 9 questions · Too Excited about Pears! (Question Tuesday with Hank)

• Q: “What is the new Republican healthcare plan all about?” (00:00:24)
  • Hank: Hank says there is no new Republican health care plan: Republicans want to keep Obamacare's good parts but make it cost less by waving their hands around. (00:00:28)
• Q: “Is flying to space the fastest way for Superman to fly?” (00:00:43)
  • Hank: Hank says flying through space is probably not Superman's fastest route: air resistance shouldn't matter much to him, and a bigger radius means a longer circumference. (00:00:54)
• Q: “How do you properly pronounce thistle?” (00:01:09)
  • Hank: Asked how to pronounce 'thistle', Hank says he doesn't know how to pronounce anything and uses the HowJSay app, whose narrator has said nearly every word. (00:01:11)
• Q: “When people come to VidCon, do they typically rent a car?” (00:01:32)
  • Hank: Hank says VidCon visitors shouldn't rent a car because parking and driving in Los Angeles are terrible; take a cab to the hotel, probably walk to the convention center, use Uber. (00:01:32)
• Q: “How do you eat a pear without getting pear juice all up on your nose?” (00:01:42)
  • Hank: A self-declared pear connoisseur, Hank avoids pear juice on his nose by cutting a square around the core, nibbling the core, then eating the rest in strips. (00:01:47)
• Q: “Would Bernie have won?” (00:02:17)
  • Hank: Asked whether Bernie would have won, Hank sings that he doesn't know and nobody does; anyone sure is wrong, since it is too easy to be certain of the unprovable. (00:02:17)
• Q: “How's Dave?” (00:02:32)
  • Hank: Asked how Dave is, Hank says that if they mean the fish, Dave is less good: he can barely hold up his string but is still floating. (00:02:32)
• Q: “How many cats is too many cats?” (00:02:39)
  • Hank: Hank says his cat thinks two cats would be too many, which is terrible for him because his own answer is maybe eight. (00:02:41)
• Q: “Is the S or the C silent in scent?” (00:02:50)
  • Hank: So, Hank concludes, it is the C that is silent in 'scent'. (00:03:07)

Good News, YA Books, and Bears: It's Question Tuesday

2017-02-07 (said on 2017-02-02, implied) · John · 15 questions · Good News, YA Books, and Bears: It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “Can we start with some good news?” (00:00:13)
  • John: There's a pretty good chance no human will contract polio this week (week of 6 February 2017), something rarely possible over the last several thousand years. (00:00:14)
• Q: “Diet Dr. Pepper or Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper?” (00:00:40)
  • John: Cherry Diet Dr Pepper being almost impossible to find is great news to John, since plain Diet Dr Pepper is already perfect. (00:00:43)
• Q: “What's your opinion on bears?” (00:00:51)
  • John (joke): Asked his opinion on bears, John gives a rapid string of contradictory verdicts, from strongly in favor to overrated to opposed. (00:00:53)
• Q: “What's your opinion of glitter?” (00:01:01)
  • John: Glitter Alice puts on John's face survives days of washing, which makes him think billions of bacteria probably can too. (00:01:02)
• Q: “If you had a Tardis and could go anywhere in space and time, where would you go?” (00:01:14)
  • John: With a TARDIS John would probably just go to present-day New Zealand: the past was worse, he isn't confident in the future, and New Zealanders seem nice. (00:01:18)
• Q: “Why hasn't live news taken off on YouTube?” (00:01:26)
  • John: John asks whether we really need more live news; what he needs is a pause button that contextualizes the news and tells him what it means. (00:01:28)
• Q: “How are you coping with all the scary stuff in the world?” (00:01:37)
  • John (joke): Asked how he copes with the scary stuff in the world, John jokes that he is a happy lobster in a pot of cool water, then asks if the water is getting warmer. (00:01:40)
• Q: “How excited are you for VidCon Europe in April?” (00:01:46)
  • John: John is very excited for VidCon Europe in April, partly because he hasn't been back to Amsterdam since the TFIOS movie came out and will visit his old haunts. (00:01:48)
• Q: “Any YA book recommendations?” (00:01:54)
  • John: John recommends Angie Thomas's The Hate U Give, out later this month (February 2017), which he truly believes will be a classic that even people who don't love books will love. (00:01:56)
• Q: “What's been your favorite part of 100 Days so far?” (00:02:09)
  • John: John's favorite part of 100 Days is how bad he and Chris are at high fives: best friends for a decade, they have never completed one. (00:02:11)
• Q: “Favorite song on the Hamilton mixtape?” (00:02:19)
  • John: John's favorite song on the Hamilton Mixtape is Immigrants. (00:02:21)
• Q: “What's the secret of life?” (00:02:21)
  • John: John thinks the secret of life may be understanding that you deserve to love and be loved. (00:02:23)
• Q: “All-time favorite dystopia novel?” (00:02:26)
  • John: John calls 1984 a great dystopian novel, but jokes that the dystopia we're living in has amazing world-building. (00:02:28)
• Q: “What's your favorite Pokemon?” (00:02:34)
  • John: Asked his favorite Pokemon, John relays that Henry says it is Mega Mewtwo EX, whatever that means. (00:02:35)
• Q: “What's the most important song you've ever listened to?” (00:02:39)
  • John: The most important songs are not necessarily the best: a few songs John needed gave form to something deep inside him he couldn't understand or look at directly. (00:02:42)

Does Human Life Have Real Meaning?

2017-02-21 · John · 12 questions · Does Human Life Have Real Meaning?

• Q: “Do rich people have better Wi-Fi or does Beyonce have to unplug her router sometimes?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked whether rich people have better Wi-Fi, John says money can buy almost anything but not freedom from Comcast; Beyoncé surely resets her router like everyone. (00:00:10)
• Q: “How do I cope with the fact that there's no real meaning in life?” (00:00:18)
  • John: John says meaning in life may be constructed by us rather than derived from some objective truth, but that does not make it any less real. (00:00:22)
• Q: “Will you come to my wedding in September?” (00:01:14)
  • John: Answering a viewer's wedding invitation, John jokes that of course they cannot come, then says if it's in Indianapolis with an open bar, they'll be there. (00:01:43)
• Q: “Favorite fictional depiction of time travel?” (00:01:48)
  • John: John's favourite fictional depiction of time travel is probably Back to the Future, which has had an outsized influence on his life. (00:01:50)
• Q [request]: “I want to know everything about your new book.” (00:02:02)
  • John: John says he doesn't know everything about his new book because it is not finished yet. (00:02:03)
• Q: “Are you tired of people asking about your new book?” (00:02:08)
  • John: John is not tired of people asking about his new book: it's nice that people care, he just wishes he had more to tell them. (00:02:08)
• Q: “What's your favorite river?” (00:02:13)
  • John: John's favourite river is the White River in Indianapolis: beautiful and mostly deserted, so you can kayak for hours without seeing anyone. (00:02:13)
• Q: “Do you like the number 53?” (00:02:41)
  • John: John says 53 is probably in the top half of two-digit numbers, but 43 is the best. (00:02:43)
• Q: “Do you ever go by any nicknames?” (00:02:47)
  • John: John says some high-school friends still call him Kuffs because he once said Christian Slater never made a bad movie. (00:02:50)
• Q: “Do thoughts mean consciousness?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John spends much of his free time wondering whether he is made of his thoughts and whether his thoughts belong to him, without reaching any conclusions. (00:02:55)
• Q: “Why have people become so obsessed with being right rather than developing richer ways of thinking?” (00:02:55)
  • John: Asked why people are obsessed with being right, John says he doesn't know, and that he is practising saying 'I don't know' more because it is a really underutilized phrase. (00:03:08)
• Q: “If your greatest hope and your greatest fear challenged each other to a duel, who would win?” (00:03:22)
  • John: Asked whether his greatest hope or greatest fear would win a duel, John says he doesn't know who would win between absolute oblivion and a cure for malaria. (00:03:24)

Boxes, Butterflies, and Regular Aunts: Live from the Past, It's Question Tuesday

2017-05-23 (said on 2017-05-14, implied) · John · 9 questions · Boxes, Butterflies, and Regular Aunts: Live from the Past, It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “What's in the boxes?” (00:00:35)
  • John (joke): Asked what's in the boxes, John claims an absolutely true story: he opened one and was stunned to find inside it another box. (00:00:37)
• Q: “Do caterpillars know they'll turn into butterflies” (00:00:52)
  • John: John says butterflies seem able to remember smells from when they were caterpillars, though that is not quite self-awareness. (00:00:57)
• Q: “How do you cope with uncertainty?” (00:01:08)
  • John: John says he copes with uncertainty quite poorly: he desperately wants to close the loop on his thoughts and be absolutely certain of something. (00:01:09)
• Q: “What are you looking forward to most about VidCon?” (00:01:21)
  • John: At VidCon John most looks forward to the annual Nerdfighter meetup, where they talk about future plans for Crash Course and more. (00:01:42)
• Q: “How's life post-100 days?” (00:01:48)
  • John: Asked about life after 100 Days, John says it is good: he finished his first half marathon in two hours and seven minutes. (00:01:48)
• Q: “My brother's expecting a baby soon. How can I prepare to be a great aunt?” (00:01:50)
  • John: To a viewer whose brother expects a baby, John jokes she will be a regular aunt, not a great aunt; taking 'great' as excellent, he says not to worry, she'll be great. (00:02:09)
• Q [request]: “I want to listen to the Mountain Goats, but where should I start?” (00:01:57)
  • John: For starting with the Mountain Goats, John always recommends the album All Hail West Texas. (00:02:05)
• Q: “How is Willy?” (00:02:43)
  • John: John says Willy is not doing great: he has a very slow-growing cancer, but he is much loved and has a relatively good prognosis, so they are hopeful. (00:02:43)
• Q: “what's your best advice for a long and happy marriage?” (00:03:12)
  • John: For marriage advice, Sarah reminded John of a Philip Larkin poem ending 'we should be careful of each other, we should be kind while there is still time'; John wishes the same for him and Hank. (00:03:23)

How Will the World End? Why Even Get Out of Bed? It's Question Tuesday.

2017-09-12 · John · 14 questions · How Will the World End? Why Even Get Out of Bed? It's Question Tuesday.

• Q: “How is the world going to end?” (00:00:05)
  • John: John notes that tuatara have been on Earth over 150 million years while humans emerged maybe 300,000 years ago, at most 0.2% of tuatara history. (00:00:14)
• Q: “So what's even the point of getting out of bed?” (00:00:38)
  • John: John thinks the point of getting out of bed is to seek a reason to get out of bed: fulfilment and meaning will not descend on us miraculously. (00:00:40)
• Q: “Where did you write Turtles All the Way Down?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John says he wrote Turtles All the Way Down mostly in bed, so he does not follow his own advice. (00:01:00)
• Q: “The internet makes me feel worse, but I can’t stop using it question mark?” (00:01:04)
  • John: John thinks some pockets of the internet make us feel better, but the wiring of the human brain and the architecture of the social internet make it hard, for him at least, to stay in them. (00:01:07)
• Q: “Are you still mad that pennies exist?” (00:01:31)
  • John: Asked if he is still mad that pennies exist, John says not mad so much as disappointed. (00:01:32)
• Q: “Are you dreading or looking forward to the book tour?” (00:01:35)
  • John: John is very much looking forward to the book tour: being on tour with Hank brings him great joy (don't tell Hank). (00:01:37)
• Q: “Hey, what cities on the Turtles tour are sold out or close to being sold out?” (00:01:43)
  • John: John says the Turtles tour shows in Bellingham, Chicago and Atlanta are sold out, sorry it happened so fast. (00:01:47)
• Q: “Vulcans or Klingons?” (00:02:03)
  • John: Asked Vulcans or Klingons, John picks both. (00:02:05)
• Q: “Coffee or tea?” (00:02:09)
  • John: Asked coffee or tea, John again picks both. (00:02:10)
• Q: “How do you feel about animals with no necks?” (00:02:11)
  • John: John finds animals with no necks profoundly disturbing. (00:02:13)
• Q: “Best hotdog you ever consumed?” (00:02:25)
  • John: John's best hot dog came from a stand in Reykjavik, Iceland, where hot dogs cost about a dollar: one of the two or three best meals he has ever eaten; he sometimes dreams of it. (00:02:27)
• Q: “Who's your least favorite American founding father?” (00:02:40)
  • John: John says James Wilkinson was an actual secret agent working against the United States. (00:02:43)
• Q: “Is Turtles All the Way Down going to be translated into Spanish and/or other languages?” (00:02:50)
  • John: John says Turtles All the Way Down will be translated into Spanish and other languages, and shows the Spanish cover. (00:02:53)
• Q: “Do you ever feel like something you've finished isn't good enough?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John feels that something he finished isn't good enough every Tuesday evening, and every three to six years when he publishes a book. (00:02:57)

Where are Whale Balls? Question Tuesday: Pizza Edition

2017-10-31 · Hank, John · 7 questions · Where are Whale Balls? Question Tuesday: Pizza Edition

• Q: “Pineapple or no?!” (00:00:59)
  • John: Asked 'pineapple or no', John says he'd take a pineapple, or might take 'no', which he finds a very useful word. (00:01:06)
• Q: “What's your pizza eating method, John?” (00:01:10)
  • John: John's pizza-eating method: he takes it off, rolls it up and slices it so it is like a cinnamon roll. (00:01:10)
• Q: “opinions on next day Pizza?” (00:01:28)
  • Hank: Hank is strongly in favour of next-day pizza, eaten cold straight out of the fridge. (00:01:30)
• Q: “What would you do inside a whale?” (00:01:58)
  • Hank: Hank says a blue whale's heart is big enough that a person could probably be inside its aorta. (00:02:11)
• Q: “Would you rather have a pizza-sized John or a John-sized pizza?” (00:02:33)
  • John: On a pizza-sized John or a John-sized pizza, John says that if a miniature version of yourself showed up you would have to let it decide for itself. (00:02:38)
• Q: “Have you ever eaten real pizza in Italy?” (00:02:53)
  • John: John has eaten pizza in Italy; it had too many olives, and he finds Italian pizza a little overrated. (00:02:53)
• Q: “Is it true that whale nuts are on the inside?” (00:03:13)
  • Hank: Asked how he knows, Hank admits he simply looked up one day where whale testes are. (00:03:17)

Definitely Not A Pecan Orchard: A Pizzamas Question Tuesday

2017-11-07 · John, Hank · 5 questions · Definitely Not A Pecan Orchard: A Pizzamas Question Tuesday

• Q: “How does one explain Pizza John to somebody who doesn't know about Pizza John?” (00:00:46)
  • John: Asked how to explain Pizza John, John says he doesn't: it is not something you explain, just something you accept. (00:00:51)
• Q: “John, how sad are you to be missing out on Saturday at PodCon?” (00:01:02)
  • John: John will miss PodCon's first day, Saturday, because he is interviewing former Vice President Joe Biden; there will still be plenty of live Dear Hank and John. (00:01:08)
• Q: “Hank, are hotdogs sandwiches?” (00:02:01)
  • John: John says that on tour he and Hank decided they have too many opinions, so each day they each abandon one opinion. (00:02:07)
• Q: “Hey Hank, where can I get Pizzamas gear and for how much longer?” (00:03:18)
  • Hank: Answering a viewer, Hank says Pizzamas gear is at DFTBA.com and available only until Friday (10 November 2017). (00:03:24)
• Q [request]: “Can we get a discount code for Pizzamas merch?” (00:03:36)
  • John: Granting a viewer's request, John announces the discount code 'Pizza' for one percent off anything at DFTBA.com for the next 24 hours. (00:03:36)

2018

My Hollywood Star, Brexit Pears, and Hank's Book: It's QUESTION TUESDAY

2018-01-16 · John · 10 questions · My Hollywood Star, Brexit Pears, and Hank's Book: It's QUESTION TUESDAY

• Q: “What're you reading?” (00:00:04)
  • John: John has just read an amazing, properly brilliant book by first novelist Hank Green, but won't say more until it is available for pre-order. (00:00:06)
• Q: “What's your favorite song at the moment?” (00:00:20)
  • John: John's kids have discovered that their Uncle Hank is a musician on Spotify and won't stop listening to him. (00:00:22)
• Q: “Thoughts on Brexit and pears?” (00:00:37)
  • John: Asked about Brexit and pears, John likens it to buying a ton of pears for future you, then regretting it and finding you cannot return them. (00:00:48)
• Q [challenge]: “In Turtles All the Way Down, how can Daisy say that Attack of the Clones is the most underrated Star Wars Movie?” (00:01:07)
  • John: Answering a hostile question, John says Daisy in Turtles All the Way Down is wrong about a lot but right that Attack of the Clones is the most underrated Star Wars movie. (00:01:16)
• Q: “Hey John, you working on anything new?” (00:01:44)
  • John: John has a new series on HankGames, John Green Solves Your Problem, in which he plays FIFA while solving people's problems. (00:01:45)
• Q: “Hey, which charities one the Project for Awesome money?” (00:02:01)
  • John: Twenty-five charities will get grants from this year's (2018) Project for Awesome; John congratulates them and thanks everyone who donated. (00:02:03)
• Q: “How important is nature to you?” (00:02:17)
  • John: Nature is very important to John: we are nature just as much as birds and trees are. (00:02:19)
• Q: “When did you get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?” (00:02:44)
  • John: John has no star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; that star belongs to the John Green who won five Oscars. (00:02:47)
• Q: “What is the most likely way for humans to go extinct?” (00:02:53)
  • John: John, who thinks about it a fair amount, ranks disease as the most likely way for humans to go extinct, then AI or a post-human species, then an extinction-level war. (00:02:57)
• Q: “How do you stop worrying about not living your life to the fullest?” (00:03:14)
  • John: John doesn't know how to stop worrying but thinks 'living your life to the fullest' is flawed: jumping out of a plane isn't better than reading, nor an Instagram-worthy life more meaningful than a quiet one. (00:03:17)

What is That Plane Rainbow? (It's Question Tuesday)

2018-02-02 · Hank · 9 questions · What is That Plane Rainbow? (It's Question Tuesday)

• Q: “Are numbers real, or did we make them up?” (00:00:08)
  • Hank: Hank's first question from Twitter is whether numbers are real or made up; he balks that they started out hard when question videos should be easier. (00:00:14)
• Q: “What's the best book you've read lately?” (00:00:21)
  • Hank: Hank's best recent read is Dawn by Octavia Butler, part of the Xenogenesis trilogy. (00:00:33)
• Q: “How is book editing going?” (00:01:01)
  • Hank: Asked how book editing is going, Hank says not great: a busy week, a deadline he may miss, and a lot of stress. (00:01:01)
• Q: “What is our official emoji slash emoji combination for your new book, Hank?” (00:01:12)
  • Hank: Asked for an official emoji combination for his book, Hank asks people to come up with one and promises to return to it at the end of the video. (00:01:17)
• Q: “How do I stay informed of current events without having them take over my life and stress me out?” (00:01:27)
  • Hank: Asked how to stay informed about current events without stress, Hank says everyone would like to know the answer if the asker figures it out. (00:01:27)
• Q: “What was the first thing you did after you finished writing your first book?” (00:01:35)
  • Hank: After finishing his first book, Hank watched a French man play accordion in an airport while his children played, thinking that weird things happen both in his book and in the real world, then flew home. (00:01:35)
• Q: “What is this adorable rainbow I saw under the plane wing on the flight home from PodCon?” (00:01:52)
  • Hank: Hank says the rainbow seen under a plane wing is a glory: like a rainbow, an effect of light diffracting on water droplets, but with smaller droplets. (00:01:57)
• Q [request]: “Can you sing your last text message?” (00:02:31)
  • Hank: Singing his last text message, from Marianne, Hank learns it is Julie's birthday and confirms he can record DadCast on Monday; he thanks Marianne for keeping his life in order. (00:02:38)
• Q: “If you could wear any Elton John outfit, which one would it be?” (00:02:52)
  • Hank: After googling Elton John outfits, Hank picks the one he calls Sparkly Banana Beetlejuice. (00:03:27)

Laurel or Yanny and Baby Dance Moves - It's Question Friday

2018-05-18 · Hank · 5 questions · Laurel or Yanny and Baby Dance Moves - It's Question Friday

• Q: “Scott Manley says, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” — asked by Scott Manley (00:00:53)
  • Hank (joke): Asked by Scott Manley for the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, Hank answers with the Monty Python counter-question: African or European? (00:01:02)
• Q [request]: “Grace Helbig says, dance.” — asked by Grace Helbig (00:00:53)
  • Hank: To Grace Helbig's 'Dance', Hank objects that it is not a question and that it is stressful because so many people are watching. (00:01:09)
• Q: “Have you watched the Orin butt wiggle video yet today?” (00:00:55)
  • Hank: Asked by Amanda whether he has watched the Orin butt wiggle video today, Hank says he watched it yesterday, but he also has the real thing. (00:00:57)
• Q: “Would eating a carnivorous plant be considered vegan?” (00:03:06)
  • Hank: Asked whether eating a carnivorous plant would be vegan, Hank first says of course, then concedes the questioner is right, and asks whether we need rules for everything. (00:03:06)
• Q [request]: “Recreate Orin's dance.” (00:03:28)
  • Hank: After many requests to dance, Hank says his baby has a bunch of dance moves and performs his current favorite, which he calls finger guns. (00:03:19)

Question Tuesday: Secrets & Primes

2018-08-14 · John · 15 questions · Question Tuesday: Secrets & Primes

• Q: “What specific piece of art had a big impact on your life?” (00:00:07)
  • John: A painting (shown on screen) had a big impact on John, opening him to the idea of a direct form of expression for the abstract, hard-to-describe problem inside his brain. (00:00:10)
• Q: “What's your third favorite type of rock?” (00:00:19)
  • John (joke): Asked his third favorite type of rock, John punningly starts with Dwayne Johnson and settles on the Rock of Gibraltar. (00:00:22)
• Q: “Any news on the Looking for Alaska series?” (00:00:28)
  • John: John says Looking for Alaska is to be adapted into a Hulu limited series; it's still happening, he has read the great first-episode script, and that's all he knows. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Favorite song by the Mountain Goats?” (00:00:43)
  • John: John's favorite Mountain Goats song keeps changing; at the moment it is 'Weekend in Western Illinois'. (00:00:45)
• Q: “How do you measure success?” (00:00:49)
  • John: John measures success by asking what he learned and whom it helped. (00:00:51)
• Q: “What are you geeking out about these days?” (00:00:53)
  • John: John is geeking out about a novel by Tommy Orange, DoctorBenjyFM's YouTube series managing a fictional football team (never so invested in pixels), and the new season of the podcast In the Dark. (00:00:55)
• Q: “Best prime number?” (00:01:06)
  • John: John's best prime number: he has always been partial to 37. (00:01:08)
• Q: “Hey, why don't any of your books have a prime number of chapters?” (00:01:10)
  • John: John reveals an inside joke with himself: each of his books has a prime-minus-one number of chapters; TFIOS and Turtles All the Way Down have 24, Will Grayson, Will Grayson and An Abundance of Katherines 20. (00:01:12)
• Q: “Wait, what other inside jokes do you have?” (00:01:36)
  • John: John says books take him long to write so he entertains himself with inside jokes: having overused 'deadpan' in Looking for Alaska, he has used it exactly once in every book since. (00:01:38)
• Q: “Are you writing a new book?” (00:01:50)
  • John: Asked whether he is writing a new book, John says: sometimes, but not usually. (00:01:51)
• Q: “When does the Project for Awesome start this year?” (00:01:56)
  • John: John says the Project for Awesome starts on December 7th this year (2018). (00:01:56)
• Q: “Why do people think pineapple pizza is bad?” (00:02:09)
  • John: John says pineapple on pizza was invented in 1962 by a Greek immigrant in Canada, inspired by Chinese cuisine to put a South American food on an Italian dish. (00:02:15)
• Q: “What are you excited about right now?” (00:02:31)
  • John: John says he really loves making The Anthropocene Reviewed. (00:02:33)
• Q: “How excited are you for AFC Wimbledon's new season?” (00:02:50)
  • John: John is very excited for AFC Wimbledon's new season; all 'our' stadium advertisements now advertise An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, reaching third-tier English football supporters. (00:02:52)
• Q: “And finally, are you ever going to win at Fortnite?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John plays Fortnite as a pacifist on HankGames, refusing to let Epic make him violent, and will continue until he wins or people get bored of Fortnite, probably the latter. (00:03:05)

How Much Do You Love Each Other? It's Question Tuesday

2018-10-02 · John, Hank · 3 questions · How Much Do You Love Each Other? It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “Hank, is there a secret code in the building pages of an absolutely remarkable thing?” (00:00:00)
  • Hank: Asked whether the building drawings in the book's endpapers hide a secret code, the answer is that the viewer is overthinking it: there are no Easter eggs in the endpapers. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Hey, John, how do I vote in every state?” (00:00:34)
  • John: Asked how to vote in every state, John says to look at Hank's 'amazing project' How to Vote in Every State. (00:00:34)
• Q: “Now that you're both the author one, what will be your one word differential?” (00:01:58)
  • Hank: Now that both are authors, Hank says he is the science one and John is the old one. (00:01:58)

2019

Battling Apathy and Searching for Meaning on Question Tuesday

2019-02-19 · John · 13 questions · Battling Apathy and Searching for Meaning on Question Tuesday

• Q: “I feel really alone and isolated, and I don't know what to do. How do I break this cycle and go outside?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says loneliness can be a cycle: when lonely he often does things that distract him but make it worse, which can feel infinite but is not; it will get better. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What is the meaning of life?” (00:00:29)
  • John: John thinks the meaning of life differs between people and times; for him right now it is to use the gift of human consciousness to pay attention. (00:00:29)
• Q: “What are some things you're enjoying now that you're off social media?” (00:00:29)
  • John: Off social media, John says he treated Instagram and Twitter like first love, as if an experience's realness depended on its sharedness; he enjoys looking at things outside the frame of shareability. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Do you collect anything that other people might not understand but brings you joy?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John collects football scarves: very limited function, but a beautiful form. (00:00:58)
• Q: “How can you make yourself like physics?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Asked how to make yourself like physics, John says to watch MinutePhysics. (00:00:58)
• Q: “What's your favorite movie right now?” (00:01:27)
  • John: John says his favorite movie forever is Harvey. (00:01:27)
• Q [request]: “Can we get more frequent episodes of the Anthropocene Reviewed?” (00:01:27)
  • John: Asked for more frequent Anthropocene Reviewed episodes, John says it takes him an entire month to write one. (00:01:27)
• Q: “What do you think of people who still write first in the comment section of videos in 2019?” (00:01:27)
  • John: John thinks people still writing 'first' in comments in 2019 is great: he likes any tradition that isn't offensive and can survive for 12 years online. (00:01:56)
• Q [request]: “Can you talk about-” (00:01:56)
  • John: John says Turtles All the Way Down is being made into a movie, hopefully, and Hannah Marks, who is wonderful and often watches these videos, has been hired as director. (00:02:26)
• Q: “Do you still eat cereal with water?” (00:02:26)
  • John: John still eats cereal with water, says it is still delicious and refuses to be shamed for it. (00:02:26)
• Q: “What advice would you give yourself 12 years ago when you started Vlogbrothers?” (00:02:26)
  • John: John's advice to himself 12 years ago when starting Vlogbrothers: edit jump cuts tighter, and ridiculing someone else's world doesn't make anything better, which he still needs to hear. (00:02:26)
• Q: “What advice would you give your high school self?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John would tell his high school self that he knows it's hard, he is doing okay, more loved than he knows and worthy of love, and to smoke fewer cigarettes. (00:02:55)
• Q: “I have so little faith in humanity. I have seen so much pain. How do I keep myself from going completely apathetic?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John says he has felt despair at pain and found justification for it, but believes despair is simple and humanity complex: there is cause for despair, and for other feelings. (00:03:24)

Optimism and Spider People: Question Tuesday from the Looking for Alaska Set

2019-03-26 · John · 3 questions · Optimism and Spider People: Question Tuesday from the Looking for Alaska Set

• Q: “Any good book recommendations?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked for book recommendations, John recommends a biography of Rosalind Franklin he enjoyed, currently propping up his tripod setup. (00:00:00)
• Q: “How do you stay happy when so much of the news we” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked how he stays happy given bad news, John says he doesn't: he gets angry and discouraged, but doesn't want to be merely that, since it doesn't reflect the whole human story. (00:00:29)
• Q: “How did you quit smoking?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Asked how he quit smoking, John says with nicotine gum; the hard part was quitting the gum. (00:01:27)

Death, Love, and John's Religion: The Big Questions Take Over Question Tuesday

2019-09-03 · John · 6 questions · Death, Love, and John's Religion: The Big Questions Take Over Question Tuesday

• Q: “When you use quotes, do you have them memorized or do you need” (00:00:29)
  • John: Asked whether he memorizes the quotes he uses, John says he has to Google most of them but knows that one by heart. (00:00:58)
• Q: “How did Stegosaurus reproduce?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Asked how Stegosaurus reproduced, John says we don't know, but one computer-model study found a male mounting a female from behind would risk castration. (00:00:58)
• Q: “Do you believe in true love?” (00:01:27)
  • John: Asked if he believes in true love, John says not really, but in something more miraculous: two people not made for each other can share a lifetime of joy, grief, wonder and hope. (00:01:27)
• Q: “My friends don't want to vote because they say it won't make a difference. How do I convince them otherwise?” (00:01:56)
  • John: Answering how to persuade friends who think voting makes no difference, John says young people are much less likely to vote than older people. (00:01:56)
• Q: “What's your opinion on the current 2020 presidential candidates?” (00:02:26)
  • John: Asked about the 2020 presidential candidates, John says the multi-year obsession with the presidential election is bad for US life. (00:02:26)
• Q: “Have you thought about what you want your last words to be?” (00:02:55)
  • John: Asked about his last words, John says you have to get lucky: Paul Claudel could not have planned 'Doctor, do you think it was the sausage?', yet they were perfect last words. (00:02:55)

2020

Foolish · Beautiful

2020-01-14 · John, Hank · 8 questions · Foolish · Beautiful

• Q: “What, in your opinion, is the most beautiful word?” (00:00:18)
  • Hank: Hank names 'penumbra' as the most beautiful word. (00:00:21)
• Q: “What was the most foolish thing you did as a child?” (00:00:29)
  • Hank: Asked the most foolish thing he did as a child, Hank remembers getting in a lot of trouble for throwing glass bottles off their fort. (00:00:31)
• Q: “Hank, what do you think is the most beautiful phenomenon in the Anthropocene?” (00:00:36)
  • Hank: For the most beautiful phenomenon of the Anthropocene, Hank guesses some colors that did not exist until humans came along. (00:00:39)
• Q: “Hank, what is your all-time favorite foolish endeavor?” (00:00:48)
  • John: John's favorite foolish endeavor: Tony Hawks hitchhiked around Ireland with a refrigerator to win a bet, and the resulting book is as amazing as you would hope. (00:00:52)
• Q: “What is the best advice you ever got from your kid?” (00:02:02)
  • Hank: The best advice Hank has had from his kid: sometimes Orin says 'Feel happy.' (00:02:04)
• Q: “Are there any old-school nerdfighterisms that have made their way into your everyday language?” (00:02:14)
  • John: John says he still uses Hank's line from the very first vlogbrothers video, 'auto power off, still some glitches to work out', whenever the camera goes wrong 13 years later. (00:02:14)
• Q: “Is humanity worth saving?” (00:02:36)
  • Hank: Hank says humanity is 'super yes' worth saving; he has thought about it a lot, and John notes it is what Hank writes about in his novels. (00:02:44)
• Q: “What's the last movie that made you cry?” (00:03:34)
  • Hank: The last movie that made Hank cry was the last one he saw, Little Women, which was very good. (00:03:34)

Somebody Once Asked . . .

2020-07-21 · John · 6 questions · Somebody Once Asked . . .

• Q: “Favorite creature of the land, sea, and sky?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked his favorite creature of land, sea and sky, John answers humans, humans who are currently swimming, and owls. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What are your thoughts on finding silver linings in times of global distress?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John thinks we need silver linings in hard times: joyful experiences should still be joyful, and good news should be sought, welcomed and celebrated. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What's your morning routine, and would you recommend it?” (00:00:29)
  • John: John's morning routine: wake up, dress, brush his teeth and doomscroll through COVID news for 45 minutes; he wouldn't recommend it. (00:00:29)
• Q: “What are owls plotting when they stare at us with those big eyes?” (00:00:58)
  • John (joke): Asked what owls are plotting, John says he will welcome owl overlords and be excited when they take over because they dislike how we have handled all this. (00:00:58)
• Q: “How does it feel now that you can find Wallet Island on Google Maps?” (00:02:52)
  • John: Wallet Island being on Google Maps feels lovely: it would be a wonderful coda to Paper Towns if a place that only exists sometimes became real by being named on a map. (00:02:52)
• Q: “Are you and Hank ever going to use that vacation time there was a poll about over a year ago?” (00:03:21)
  • John: Last year (2019) Nerdfighteria voted to give the brothers three weeks of vacation per year; John has not used much of it. (00:03:21)

Could I Spare some Change for Gas?

2020-07-24 · Hank · 8 questions · Could I Spare some Change for Gas?

• Q: “Joseph wants to know what my favorite pelican species is.” (00:00:00)
  • Hank: Hank's favorite pelican species is the brown pelican: he grants viewers may think white pelicans more majestic, but brown pelicans are closest to his heart and seem like nice birds. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Penguincorn says, “how are you not constantly talking about your book?” (00:00:29)
  • Hank: Hank loves talking about his book and hearing people talk about it, and spends a lot of time reading what people say about it. (00:00:29)
• Q: “What’s been my favorite song to listen to recently.” (00:01:09)
  • Hank: Hank's favorite song lately is Think About Things by Daði Freyr, whose name he admits he is mispronouncing. (00:01:09)
• Q: “Sarah wants to know why pelicans.” (00:01:36)
  • Hank: Birds in general are just good, and pelicans are maybe the best of them; Hank grants this is probably controversial and entirely subjective. (00:01:36)
• Q [request]: “Rachel just was diagnosed with ADHD and a lot of things are clicking into place. Advice?” (00:01:59)
  • Hank: Hank's biggest advice to someone newly diagnosed with ADHD: a brain that works differently does not work worse. (00:01:59)
• Q: “Differentcat wants to know, who did you play when you did Rocky Horror shows? I’ve tried numerous times to find out.” (00:01:59)
  • Hank: Asked who he played in his Rocky Horror shows, Hank shows a photo and reveals he played Rocky. (00:01:59)
• Q: “Rachel wants to know what my favorite microorganism is.” (00:01:59)
  • Hank: Hank's favorite microorganism, for today, is Lacrymaria. (00:01:59)
• Q: “And likewise, she says, these are dark days, so how do you lift your head to the light when the darkness is so heavy?” (00:02:47)
  • Hank: To lift his head in dark days, Hank makes things with people he loves, looks at birds and follows his curiosity: finding things out is one of the few joys independent of the world. (00:02:47)

2021

I am a small boat. It's Question Tuesday.

2021-05-11 · John · 11 questions · I am a small boat. It's Question Tuesday.

• Q: “Out of 14 years of Vlogbrothers in-jokes, what's your favorite?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John's favorite of 14 years of Vlogbrothers in-jokes: Hank left an I out of 'communication' in their 2007 intro and explained there is no I in brotherhood. (00:00:12)
• Q: “What is your opinion on frogs?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked his opinion on frogs, John says it is largely positive. (00:00:22)
• Q: “What's the difference between the physical book and the audiobook?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says the physical book is an eye experience and the audiobook an ear experience; each contains things the other lacks, such as a review of half title pages in the print book. (00:00:29)
• Q: “What's the strangest thing someone has ever recognized you for?” (00:00:29)
  • John: In an airport store with his best friend Chris Waters, a clerk asked John how he knows Vince Vaughn, so he was once recognized for being Vince Vaughn's best friend. (00:00:47)
• Q: “How do you manage to push through your severe anxiety and function as a human being?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John says he sometimes doesn't function well; he doesn't push through his anxiety but tries to treat it and, when necessary, accommodate it like any other chronic health problem. (00:01:08)
• Q: “I know you have an email for Anthropocene Reviewed listeners to write in. What's an email that resonated with you?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Many emails from Anthropocene Reviewed listeners resonate with John, but he won't discuss them: people write with such raw emotion that he wants to protect it. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Are there parts of the book that wouldn't have worked on the podcast?” (00:02:26)
  • John: Parts of the book that wouldn't have worked on the podcast: most notably the picture parts, and also the wintry mix parts. (00:02:28)
• Q: “Did you include the word deadpan exactly once in the Anthropocene Reviewed as you have for every book you’ve written since an Abundance of Katherine’s?” (00:02:26)
  • John: John confirms he used the word 'deadpan' exactly once in The Anthropocene Reviewed, as in every book since An Abundance of Katherines, another 14-year-old joke he enjoys. (00:02:36)
• Q [request]: “Could you please pronounce some foreign language titles of the book?” (00:02:26)
  • John: Asked to pronounce foreign titles of the book, John attempts the Dutch and German titles, raising his voice for the German question mark. (00:02:45)
• Q: “Wait, what is this book about exactly?” (00:03:24)
  • John: Asked what the book is about, John says he still doesn't know; perhaps awe, connectedness, or how weird it is that temporary beings can conceive of permanence. (00:03:25)
• Q: “And lastly, what's on your vision board this week?” (00:03:24)
  • John: Asked what is on his vision board this week (week of 10 May 2021), John answers that he really hopes viewers like The Anthropocene Reviewed book. (00:03:33)

Feelings, Little Tunnels, and Oprah: It's Question Tuesday with Ashley C. Ford

2021-06-08 · John, Ashley C. Ford · 6 questions · Feelings, Little Tunnels, and Oprah: It's Question Tuesday with Ashley C. Ford

• Q: “What is your opinion on seagulls?” (00:00:00)
  • Ashley C. Ford: Ashley is not a fan of seagulls (nor is John): one chased her husband down a beach. (00:00:15)
• Q: “How does it feel to have Oprah love your book?” (00:00:00)
  • Ashley C. Ford: Having Oprah love her book feels like stripping off wet, soggy clothes after a whole cold day outside and getting into the perfect hot shower. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Wait, what is Somebody's Daughter about?” — asked by John (00:00:52)
  • Ashley C. Ford: Somebody's Daughter is about Ashley's girlhood in a difficult parental situation: her mom had emotional issues and hard interactions with her, while her father was incarcerated the whole time. (00:00:58)
• Q: “What would you say to a young person living with trauma or what do you wish someone had said to you?” (00:01:21)
  • Ashley C. Ford: Ashley wishes someone had told her there is no such thing as a bad feeling: feeling anger, sadness or frustration was not punishment and not wrongdoing. (00:01:40)
• Q: “what is powerful about memoir as a means of expression” (00:02:37)
  • Ashley C. Ford: Memoir in itself asserts that every human life has a story. (00:02:55)
• Q: “What's your favorite thing about the Midwest?” (00:03:03)
  • Ashley C. Ford: Ashley's favorite thing about the Midwest is driving far too fast on back roads past cornfields, listening to yacht rock such as Christopher Cross. (00:03:03)

VLOGBROTHERS REUNITED!!!!

2021-06-15 · John, Hank · 3 questions · VLOGBROTHERS REUNITED!!!!

• Q: “What is your favorite essay in the Anthropocene reviewed book?” (00:00:00)
  • Hank: Hank says his favorite essay in The Anthropocene Reviewed is the first that made him cry: the Liverpool one, You'll Never Walk Alone. (00:00:00)
• Q: “What kind of inconsequential brotherly arguments do you get into?” (00:02:27)
  • John: Asked about inconsequential brotherly arguments, John admits he stole the money Hank rolled up inside his trophies and bought all kinds of things with it. (00:02:27)
• Q: “Did you get emotional when you saw each other in person?” (00:03:25)
  • John: Asked if they got emotional on seeing each other, John says yes: during the pandemic he has struggled to feel emotion in the moment and lets himself feel it later. (00:03:25)

Question Tuesday Except I'm an AI

2021-08-20 · Hank · 1 questions · Question Tuesday Except I'm an AI

• Q: “Rachel asks, what should I do about the creeping dread?” (00:00:45)
  • Hank: Asked about creeping dread, the AI advises doing what you need to reach your goals and turning the dread into excitement because you are about to go for it. (00:00:29)

Pizza Sized Johns or John Sized Pizza? It's Question Thursday

2021-10-14 · John · 10 questions · Pizza Sized Johns or John Sized Pizza? It's Question Thursday

• Q: “Favorite Pizzamas merch?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John's favorite Pizzamas merch is the Pizza John zine in which people drew Pizza John from memory: it's magic. He also loves the blanket. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Would you rather have one John-sized pizza or a hundred pizza-sized Johns?” (00:00:29)
  • John: Weighing one John-sized pizza against 100 pizza-sized Johns (stressful tiny neurotic people who might do his work), John decides the Johns are more trouble than they're worth and picks the pizza. (00:00:29)
• Q: “Do people ever tell you that your head looks bigger in person?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Asked whether people say his head looks bigger in person, John says not that he recalls; most people don't comment on his appearance, which is probably the way to go. (00:00:58)
• Q: “What does your late night YouTube look like?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John's late-night YouTube is a lot of a guy sanding cow hooves; he isn't interested in the field but can't stop watching. (00:00:58)
• Q: “How's your brother Dave?” (00:00:58)
  • John: Dave is doing Dave stuff: John used to feel bad that Dave had no Twitter or YouTube, but now thinks Dave maybe just achieved enlightenment. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Why did you stop making videos about unerotic giraffe sex?” (00:01:27)
  • John (joke): Asked why he stopped making videos about 'unerotic giraffe sex', John first notes there is no other kind of giraffe sex. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Best fact you learned this week?” (00:01:57)
  • John: John signed up for Hank's daily Pizzamas pizza-joke texts; yesterday's (13 October 2021) taught him that Pink worked at Pizza Hut, the only fact he remembers learning all week. (00:01:57)
• Q: “Why do I know the color of the rented Lamborghini that Justin Beiber was arrested in a decade ago but I don’t know the name of like my children’s classmate’s parents?” (00:01:57)
  • John: Asked why one remembers trivia like Justin Bieber's rented Lamborghini but not the names of one's children's classmates' parents, John admits he always thinks one parent is Jim, and it's never Jim. (00:02:29)
• Q: “Favorite art assignment in Sarah's book?” (00:02:29)
  • John: John uses many assignments from Sarah's book, most often Never Seen, Never Will: articulating something you know exists but will never see, his way into realizing he doesn't know almost everything. (00:02:29)
• Q: “Do you have any recommendations for breathing exercises?” (00:03:07)
  • John: For breathing, John takes a few conscious breaths and reminds himself his lungs were made for this air: his breath is literally interwoven with all life and Earth's chemistry. (00:03:07)

What Was Early YouTube Like? (with Hank and John)

2021-12-10 · Hank, John · 5 questions · What Was Early YouTube Like? (with Hank and John)

• Q: “Who was your favorite OG YouTuber back in the real early days?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John's favourite OG YouTuber from the early days is Natalie Tran of Community Channel. (00:00:00)
• Q: “when did you realize this was gonna be your job” (00:00:27)
  • John: Asked when he realized this would be his job, John says it is still not his job: he doesn't get paid to do this. (00:00:27)
• Q: “what do you think are the best and worst site functionality changes YouTube has made over its existence?” (00:00:56)
  • Hank: Hank says the best change is that the site works now, unlike in 2007; the player is excellent, and its hotkeys, like going back a frame or 10 seconds, are his favourite UX feature. (00:00:56)
• Q: “Was there any time, Jason asks, during Brotherhood 2.0 that you wanted to stop?” (00:01:25)
  • John: John wanted to stop Brotherhood 2.0 around March, when it still felt long; imagining the future is always the hard, overwhelming part for him, while the present was always fun. (00:01:25)
• Q: “Jeremiah asks, when is the next X Jokes in 4 Minutes coming?” (00:01:55)
  • Hank: Asked when the next jokes-in-four-minutes video is coming, Hank says the first minute of Dear Hank and John is where he does that now. (00:01:55)

2024

Hank and John Reunited WITH RAX

2024-04-09 · John, Hank · 5 questions · Hank and John Reunited WITH RAX

• Q [request]: “Devin says no questions just have fun maybe do some car karaoke?” (00:00:58)
  • John & Hank: Asked by a viewer for car karaoke, the brothers sing an a cappella Rax parody of a Fastball song about Hank going to Rax for roast beef. (00:00:58)
• Q: “Anna says, who of you is the Taskmaster and who is Alex Horn?” (00:02:16)
  • John: Asked which brother is the Taskmaster and which is Alex Horne, John says he thinks he is the Taskmaster. (00:02:16)
• Q: “What did you get at Rax, Riley asks.” (00:02:16)
  • John: John says they got four sandwiches: his childhood Rax order, the Big Boy (a big roast beef), and three for Hank: a roast beef, a beef and cheddar, and a hoagie-like roast beef with lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise. (00:02:16)
• Q: “Melissa wants to know who picks the music driver or shotgun.” (00:03:22)
  • John & Hank: Asked who picks the music, they say they play none, only singing Rax parodies, because they rarely get to hang out in person and are just chatting. (00:03:22)
• Q: “Will Turtles All The Way Down be available to watch in the UK?” (00:04:57)
  • John: Answering viewers, John says the Turtles All the Way Down film will stream on Max in the UK, the Netherlands and other listed places, out May 2 in most places including the US. (00:04:57)

2025

Taylor, Dr Pepper, and My Anxiety Strats: It's Question Tuesday

2025-03-25 · John · 11 questions · Taylor, Dr Pepper, and My Anxiety Strats: It's Question Tuesday

• Q: “Is the Indy 500 connected to tuberculosis?” (00:00:00)
  • John: John says Louis Schneider, the 1931 Indy 500 winner, survived a very dangerous racing career but then died of tuberculosis at 40. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Can you connect Taylor Swift to tuberculosis?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked to connect Taylor Swift to TB, John cites a line of her song about the lakes as a reference to England's Lake District, where poets and others with tuberculosis were often sent to recover. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Can you connect your favorite soda, Dr. Pepper, to tuberculosis?” (00:00:29)
  • John: John says Dr Pepper was invented by pharmacist Charles Alderton, who wanted a soda that recreated the smell of his pharmacy's soda fountain in Waco, Texas. (00:00:29)
• Q: “What's your favorite anxiety coping skill?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John's favorite anxiety coping skill: telling himself he is worried because life is quite worrisome, and that it is okay to be worried. (00:00:58)
• Q: “What's your favorite fact that didn't make it into everything as tuberculosis?” (00:00:58)
  • John: John's favorite fact cut from the book: Ringo Starr had TB as a young child, learned to drum out of boredom in a sanatorium, and survived thanks to newly available curative treatment. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Favorite person you met on tour?” (00:01:27)
  • John: John says he has met many wonderful people on tour, from people who worked at USAID to people working on tuberculosis at the CDC. (00:01:56)
• Q: “Got any good gifts so far?” (00:02:26)
  • John: John says tour gifts include lovely letters and bracelets about TB or his book, one reading Bembo, the font the book is laid out in. (00:02:26)
• Q: “Can you connect tuberculosis to coins?” (00:02:26)
  • John: John says Modern Health Crusader coins were minted by the US National Tuberculosis Association in the early twentieth century as a fundraiser against TB, like the Crash Course coin. (00:02:26)
• Q: “How are the NIH funding cuts affecting TB research?” (00:02:55)
  • John: John says NIH funding cuts are severely affecting TB research: a planned trial of a cheap tongue-swab TB test, like a strep throat test, was abandoned along with others. (00:02:55)
• Q: “John, if tuberculosis were eliminated tomorrow, what should we focus on next?” (00:03:24)
  • John: Asked what to focus on if TB were eliminated, John says TB is by no means the only disease of injustice: cancer is one too. (00:03:24)
• Q: “How are you holding up with the very ambitious tour schedule you have for Everything is Tuberculosis, the hit new book available in bookstores everywhere?” (00:04:23)
  • John: On his ambitious tour schedule, John says he is tired, a different city every day, exhausting and exhilarating, but less tired than expected because he is also extremely energized. (00:04:23)

LLAMAS Are NOT What You Think

2025-07-15 · John, Hank · 11 questions · LLAMAS Are NOT What You Think

• Q: “Are llama fish?” (00:00:00)
  • Hank: Asked whether llamas are fish, Hank says yes: all vertebrates are fish because they carry the water around with them; humans are just really weird, hairy fish. (00:00:00)
• Q: “Do you write your own questions for Dear Hank and John?” (00:00:00)
  • John: Asked whether they write their own Dear Hank and John questions, John says they pick a certain kind of question, which encourages that kind to be asked. (00:00:29)
• Q: “How are llamas and tuberculosis related?” (00:01:06)
  • John: Asked how llamas and tuberculosis are related, John says llamas can get tuberculosis, and so can fish. (00:01:06)
• Q: “What fish most resembles its name?” (00:01:06)
  • Hank: Asked which fish most resembles its name, Hank names the boxfish: it looks like a box. (00:01:06)
• Q: “A seahorse seahorse horse is a seahorse a fish” (00:01:45)
  • Hank: Asked whether a seahorse is a fish, Hank says yes, in the sense that we all are. (00:01:45)
• Q: “would you ever ride a llama” (00:01:45)
  • Hank: Hank would ride a llama if someone told him it was safe, though he would not jump out of a plane or bungee jump, which don't sound fun. (00:01:45)
• Q: “Now, Hank, we got a number of questions on Blue Sky about whether or not fish have butts” (00:02:34)
  • Hank: Hank corrects John: the fish bones that look like legs are not vestigial, though in the coelacanth they may as well be. (00:03:05)
• Q: “Would you rather fight 10 llama-sized fish or 100 fish-sized llamas?” (00:04:51)
  • John & Hank: Fighting 10 llama-sized fish or 100 fish-sized llamas depends on the fish: guppy-sized llamas would be a party, a whale shark a real problem. (00:04:51)
• Q: “How do llamas make wool?” (00:05:35)
  • Hank: Hank explains llama wool: keratinocytes fill with keratin, a cytoskeletal protein, die and stick together into hair that is pushed slowly outward, just like human hair. (00:05:35)
• Q: “How does baldness happen?” (00:06:22)
  • Hank: Hank says baldness happens when the chemical signals telling the body to make hair stop being received, because they are not made or the receptors break down. (00:06:22)
• Q: “more of a llama guy or a fish guy?” (00:06:55)
  • John & Hank: Asked whether they are llama or fish guys, both brothers say they are more fish guys; Hank is 'double fishing' in a fish t-shirt over a fish shirt. (00:06:55)

2026

Has Anyone Ever Accidentally Seen me Naked (Question Tuesday on a Friday)

2026-01-30 · Hank · 10 questions · Has Anyone Ever Accidentally Seen me Naked (Question Tuesday on a Friday)

• Q: “From Shiogarath's Lost Pinecone, is Earth gaining or losing mass over time?” (00:00:00)
  • Hank: Hank says Earth is both gaining and losing mass over time, but losing more than it gains. (00:00:00)
• Q: “MT Botany asks if there's any trees or flowers I'm excited about.” (00:00:58)
  • Hank: Asked which trees or flowers excite him, Hank admits none do as much as they should; he should be more excited about trees and flowers. (00:00:58)
• Q: “Destroyed wants to know, has anyone accidentally seen me naked?” (00:01:27)
  • Hank: Hank says someone has probably seen him naked by accident, but he would not always know and would not remember it long term. (00:01:27)
• Q: “Which animals should Brennan punch?” (00:01:56)
  • Hank: Hank says the best animal to punch attacks you, so you can't be blamed, but can't really hurt you; punching a shark is a great idea, but not a situation he wants. (00:02:26)
• Q: “Allison asks why I'm still on Twitter.” (00:02:26)
  • Hank: Hank says he had a Twitter relapse but is not still on Twitter. (00:02:26)
• Q: “Jen asks, how am I doing? And what have I done to prepare for Project for Awesome?” (00:04:53)
  • Hank: For P4A Hank sought a high-quality possum mask (two-month lead time, too late), and has a list of balloon gags, very weird peanut butter someone sent him, and weird fruits from Miami Fruit. (00:04:53)
• Q: “For things to happen penguin asks how do you make curiosity a consistent practice” (00:05:21)
  • Hank: Asked how to make curiosity a consistent practice, Hank says he has a whole video planned on it, not done yet, which will be good and is important. (00:05:21)
• Q: “What did people think static electricity was before they knew what a-” (00:05:21)
  • Hank: Hank says the story he knows is of an ancient Greek man who rubbed fur with amber and found it then attracted other things. (00:05:56)
• Q: “Skylar wants to know if I'd rather be a raccoon or a whale” (00:06:25)
  • Hank: Hank says raccoons and whales are both good in different ways: raccoons eat everything, blue whales one thing; raccoons die young, often terribly, while whales live long. (00:07:03)
• Q: “And finally, Hannah asks, favorite and least favorite kinds of ice?” (00:07:55)
  • Hank: Hank's least favourite ice is black ice, ice coating a surface he is about to move over, which has caused him and many people problems. (00:07:55)