Best jokes of 2023

All 63 jokes rated strength 3 (the top of the 1–3 scale) in 2023 videos, in upload order: the setup (paraphrase), then the punchline as said, the kind of joke and who tells it.

Kinds this year: Absurd 33, Self-deprecation 10, Wordplay 10, Satire 6, Callback 2, Running bit 2.

← Humor overview · 2007 · 2008 · 2009 · 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016 · 2017 · 2018 · 2019 · 2020 · 2021 · 2022 · 2023 · 2024 · 2025 · 2026

2023-01

• Squatting low because of his knee, Hank says he is doing stand-up comedy, except he is not → “A lot of stand-up comedy these days is really just stand-up upset.” — Wordplay, Hank — After 12 hours in LA I'm a stand-up comic doing ASMR with a side gig as a music promoter (2023-01-06, 00:01:10)
• Imagining how quickly a living computer would become normal, Hank introduces a future friend → “He's a computer man. He's a man made of computer.” — Absurd, Hank — After 12 hours in LA I'm a stand-up comic doing ASMR with a side gig as a music promoter (2023-01-06, 00:02:35)
• After saying TFIOS has been around almost as long as the Doritos Locos Taco, John cuts away → “Hey, so this is a literary device called foreshadowing.” — Absurd, John — Introducing: The Format (2023-01-10, 00:00:40)
• In a mock stand-up set about prepositions, John argues everything, even Earth, is an island → “I demand an end to the tyranny of on-ness.” — Absurd, John — Introducing: The Format (2023-01-10, 00:02:08)
• Asked why eyes twitch, Hank says he doesn't know, he has the same problem, and maybe this video is the cause. → “I don't know. Same though. Maybe it's because of this.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Why is There an Egg Shortage (And More) (2023-01-13, 00:01:41)
• Right after the black-poop question, Hank guesses Black Friday's name must have something to do with poop. → “Well, at the moment, I'm thinking it has something to do with poop” — Absurd, Hank — Why is There an Egg Shortage (And More) (2023-01-13, 00:02:30)
• Denying that Hank invented 3D glasses, John says he invented something much more important. → “2D glasses that render three-dimensional movies in a crisp two dimensions” — Wordplay, John — John Green Answers the Most Searched Hank Green Questions (2023-01-17, 00:00:58)
• After listing Hank's successful companies, John adds the rest. → “He's also started many companies that became nothing.” — Self-deprecation, John — John Green Answers the Most Searched Hank Green Questions (2023-01-17, 00:02:26)
• Tired of human fragility, John says he would rather be a company → “I want to be a company, which is also a person if you ask the US Supreme Court.” — Satire, John — Behind the Scenes of my TUMBLR MEME LORD ERA (2023-01-24, 00:02:29)
• Realizing he has never been paid for his coffee-club work, John names his role → “I am the world's only ethically sourced unpaid intern.” — Wordplay, John — Behind the Scenes of my TUMBLR MEME LORD ERA (2023-01-24, 00:02:29)

2023-02

• Hank's friend introduces her new dog, which could have had any name, as Hank. → “Like either this is an odd honor that is being bestowed on me or you forgot I existed.” — Absurd, Hank — If it ain't broke don't fix it. (2023-02-10, 00:02:29)
• Two content creators ask what the most radical, countercultural thing they could do in 2023 would be. → “And that was to go on vacation and not make content about it.” — Absurd, John — Worst Reunion Video Ever ... or Best? (2023-02-14, 00:00:24)
• Teased for abandoning the no-cut plan, John, the editor, blames Hank's cat photos. → “Well, once I've got to put in a picture of a cat, Hank, I might as well just spend four hours editing a YouTube video.” — Absurd, John — Worst Reunion Video Ever ... or Best? (2023-02-14, 00:03:41)
• After a burp-like noise, Hank declares that the chat has summoned Butfartman → “Oh, excellent. Well done, everyone. You could stop chanting now. You successfully summoned him.” — Absurd, Hank — COUNTDOWN TO THE PROJECT FOR AWESOME (2023-02-17, 00:01:00)
• Hank's gift-wrapped day-one Peeps are opened and eaten by his son at John's house → “Sound financial decisions.” — Absurd, Hank — The P4A 2023 is The Hottest Club on the Internet (2023-02-24, 00:00:29)
• The title meme lists everything the internet's hottest club has → “Honestly, that list could have gone on way longer and not gotten any less weird.” — Running bit, Hank — The P4A 2023 is The Hottest Club on the Internet (2023-02-24, 00:06:14)

2023-03

• Hank reads a dense explanation of bone's piezoelectric properties. → “What? You got electric bones? We've got electric bones?” — Absurd, Hank — This is a Video!! (2023-03-17, 00:02:28)

2023-04

• John mourns his destroyed 30-foot microphone cord as a fallen comrade that will never be replaced. → “Except by my new 36-foot long cord.” — Absurd, John — The Search for Real Feeling (2023-04-04, 00:00:00)
• Asked for the weather, John describes his inner exhaustion; the other John explains that weather is the external atmosphere. → “Oh, yeah, no, it's cloudy.” — Wordplay, John — The Search for Real Feeling (2023-04-04, 00:00:43)
• After explaining that elephants have internal testicles, Hank draws a business lesson. → “The business lesson here is you don't have to be showy to make a huge impact.” — Absurd, Hank — Getting One Million LinkedIn Followers (2023-04-07, 00:01:49)
• Hank's Venus flytrap post concludes that product teams should be separate from sales teams. → “I don't actually know what that means, but it sounds like it's smart, and it is my top LinkedIn post now.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Getting One Million LinkedIn Followers (2023-04-07, 00:02:43)

2023-05

• John describes the coronation as an elderly man receiving a very fancy mineral-encrusted hat. → “they were from every corner of the earth except the corner of the earth where the elderly man in question lives.” — Satire, John — on hope (2023-05-09, 00:01:39)
• Čabrinović's bomb misses and his cyanide fails, so he tries to drown himself. → “and then jumps into a river, which it turns out is only four inches deep” — Absurd, John — Did TB Cause World War I? (2023-05-16, 00:02:55)
• The heir's driver stalls the car while trying to reverse. → “one thing you probably should be pretty good at in 1914 is driving a stick shift” — Absurd, John — Did TB Cause World War I? (2023-05-16, 00:03:54)
• The website counting days since Hank started a new thing resets to zero, the new thing being not a channel or a soap company. → “or a soap company, but chemotherapy.” — Callback, John — Rough Week (2023-05-23, 00:00:58)
• Visiting John in hospital with meningitis, his best friend Chris has a first remark ready. → “I thought you'd already had all of the itises” — Wordplay, John — Rough Week (2023-05-23, 00:01:56)
• John introduces himself as the temporary CEO who replaces Hank at DFTBA and Complexly. → “Kirkland brand Hank Green” — Self-deprecation, John — Rough Week (2023-05-23, 00:02:55)
• Hank lists things you get to do only once in a lifetime. → “one of those things is making a tier list of articles about your cancer diagnosis” — Self-deprecation, Hank — My Cancer Press Tier List (2023-05-26, 00:00:00)
• Hank reads the LA Times search-result headline that defines him by his brother. → “Hank Green, John Green's brother, has cancer. It sucks.” — Satire, Hank — My Cancer Press Tier List (2023-05-26, 00:02:26)

2023-06

• Two copies of John meet in the museum; one is surprised the other is there, and the other says he is always there. → “Right, I guess that is kind of the issue. Wherever I go, I bring myself with me.” — Absurd, John — touched by a king (2023-06-13, 00:00:29)
• John explains Hank stopped leading the companies' 100-plus employees. → “But then, Hank, you got fired by cancer.” — Absurd, John — Reflections from a Terrible CEO (2023-06-20, 00:00:00)
• John shares his insight that ten people in a 30-minute meeting waste 300 minutes of human soul life. → “And that, it turns out, is like not the vibe for most meetings.” — Self-deprecation, John — Reflections from a Terrible CEO (2023-06-20, 00:01:27)
• Free solo climbing has many micromorts even if you're good at it, which John isn't. → “So for me, it would be like a million micromorts. Yeah, which adds up to one mort.” — Absurd, John — Alone on the Cancer Boat: A Vlogbrothers Reunion (2023-06-27, 00:07:34)
• John describes leaping gracefully like an eagle into the 15-foot Squishmallow pit at VidCon. → “well that was thrilling” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Alone on the Cancer Boat: A Vlogbrothers Reunion (2023-06-27, 00:09:05)
• A fan at In-N-Out prayed for John's recovery, apparently mistaking whose cancer it is; Hank's reaction on hearing it. → “Stolen Valor! It was mine!” — Absurd, John — Bon Your Vivant (2023-06-30, 00:05:27)

2023-07

• Hank's DoorDash boba order went to a stranger named Dakota, and Hank got Dakota's sushi instead. → “And life gave me cancer and Dakota's sushi.” — Absurd, Hank — Let's Try Radiation Therapy! (2023-07-28, 00:04:40)

2023-08

• Hank claims the animated Puss in Boots sequel is about a YouTuber who gets cancer and voices John's objection. → “You're thinking, Hank, no, that's a movie about a cat who has boots.” — Absurd, Hank — It's About a YouTuber with Cancer (2023-08-11, 00:00:01)
• After describing Puss's love interest Kitty Softpaws, Hank introduces his own romantic interest. → “her name is Katherine and her hands are soft” — Wordplay, Hank — It's About a YouTuber with Cancer (2023-08-11, 00:02:16)
• John, holding his long microphone cord, sums up his life in terms of the cord. → “I spent half my life gathering up this 30-foot microphone cord, and the other half I wasted.” — Absurd, John — The Panera Phenomenon (2023-08-22, 00:00:29)
• A second John appears, claims he has been there the whole time, and is asked to leave. → “can can you can you go away That was easy.” — Absurd, John — The Panera Phenomenon (2023-08-22, 00:01:56)

2023-09

• Hank imagines viewers thinking his new beard makes him look like a nerdy Jason Statham → “you weren't thinking that no one was thinking that” — Self-deprecation, Hank — The Weirdest Post-Chemo Symptoms (2023-09-01, 00:02:01)
• Hank fears beard-hungry guys will seek chemo → “And I just don't want to see chemo beard trending on TikTok.” — Absurd, Hank — The Weirdest Post-Chemo Symptoms (2023-09-01, 00:03:00)
• After a video about posthumous posting that opened unsure of the day, Hank clarifies → “just for clarity, I'm not dead.” — Absurd, Hank — The Weirdest Post-Chemo Symptoms (2023-09-01, 00:06:37)
• John says it is his dream to one day be a postage stamp. → “to one day be not just a postage stamp, but a Pizza John postage stamp” — Absurd, John — PIZZAMAS IS HERE!!! (2023-09-25, 00:01:27)
• Shaving his beard down to a goatee, Hank sees Walter White in the mirror and borrows the character's famous line. → “I think I may be the one who knocks!” — Absurd, Hank — THE REVEAL (2023-09-26, 00:01:51)
• Midway through shaving, Hank is wearing a classic droopy Pizza John mustache and decides that one belongs to John. → “I think that's yours John, but what's mine?” — Running bit, Hank — THE REVEAL (2023-09-26, 00:02:15)
• The five veto powers are World War II's big winners who put themselves in charge. → “It's what I like to call the red, white, and blue flag club plus China.” — Satire, Hank — What the Heck is the UN? (2023-09-28, 00:02:06)
• The fourth organ shares its name with the famous racehorse Secretariat. → “Fourth organ, the Secretariat, which is not a horse. It is a horse.” — Wordplay, Hank — What the Heck is the UN? (2023-09-28, 00:04:18)
• John compares mustached Hank to the Minneapolis rapper Prof, a fellow excellent lyricist. → “Prof can pull off the mustache because he's hard. And you're, respectfully, Soft.” — Absurd, John — Like Apocalyptic Horsemen (2023-09-29, 00:02:14)

2023-10

• After the 38-picokelvin record, Hank cheers for humans. → “Humans! Like, let's see a goose do that!” — Absurd, Hank — The Hottest Place and the Coldest Place in the Universe are the SAME PLACE (2023-10-02, 00:01:57)
• Hank says black holes need no external validation and only care what they think of themselves. → “So that's cold.” — Wordplay, Hank — The Hottest Place and the Coldest Place in the Universe are the SAME PLACE (2023-10-02, 00:02:55)
• John reels off nicknames for central defender Joe Lewis and his rolled-up shorts → “Joe "big man, small shorts" Lewis” — Absurd, John — America's Second Favorite Fourth Tier English Soccer Team (2023-10-05, 00:03:23)
• Burping the fermentation jars lets gas out. → “i don't know what kind of gas i don't know how fermentation works” — Self-deprecation, John — How to Make Hot Sauce for Just $65 per Bottle (2023-10-31, 00:01:40)

2023-11

• Hank imagines FDR announcing the Thanksgiving change the day before November. → “Thanksgiving is going to be on a different day than you thought. Happy Halloween! Trick or treat!” — Absurd, Hank — It Wasn't Supposed to be Thanksgiving Yesterday (2023-11-24, 00:01:27)

2023-12

• Potato ate a 128 GB memory card, and John cannot be mad. → “like six years ago, I also ate a 128 gigabyte memory card, so I know what it's like” — Callback, John — POTATO! (2023-12-12, 00:01:34)
• Asked whether Potato can do the format, John delivers his own hopeful closing line in dog form. → “hope is still the correct response to the miracle of dog consciousness” — Self-deprecation, John — POTATO! (2023-12-12, 00:02:03)
• French newscasters discuss jobs being taken by ChatGPT, pronounced the French way. → “being taken by cat-I-farted.” — Wordplay, Hank — Cat...I Farted. (2023-12-15, 00:01:29)
• Reading ChatGPT's list of translation mishaps, Hank gets its answer that Pepsi's China slogan was initially translated as 'network error'. → “was initially translated as network error. Still some glitches to work out.” — Absurd, Hank — Cat...I Farted. (2023-12-15, 00:02:28)
• Hank earnestly begs France to resist English and keep the pun. → “Please call the most revolutionary language tool of this century cat I farted. Please. I believe in you.” — Absurd, Hank — Cat...I Farted. (2023-12-15, 00:03:37)
• Pondering mortality, Hank poses a 'real question' about his legacy. → “Real question here, when I'm dead, will anyone have eaten that elf pasta?” — Absurd, Hank — Let's Talk About Death (2023-12-22, 00:00:54)
• After a kid peed off a VidCon balcony in 2016, all the balconies are closed; it is called a metaphor for the internet. → “One person pees on the balcony and nobody else gets a balcony ever again.” — Satire, John — John and Hank Hanging Out but they Keep Getting Younger and More Pixelated (2023-12-24, 00:43:37)
• Thankful for cranberries, the brothers note humans wipe out species fast. → “Yeah, we're roughly on par with an asteroid. We are killing it.” — Satire, John — John and Hank Hanging Out but they Keep Getting Younger and More Pixelated (2023-12-24, 01:15:50)
• Walking into a huge upgraded Houston hotel room, John marvels at the furniture. → “Armoire? More like, armoissome.” — Wordplay, John — John and Hank Hanging Out but they Keep Getting Younger and More Pixelated (2023-12-24, 01:57:08)