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Best jokes of 2010

All 208 jokes rated strength 3 (the top of the 1–3 scale) in 2010 videos, in upload order: the setup (paraphrase), then the punchline as said, the kind of joke and who tells it.

Kinds this year: Absurd 111, Self-deprecation 31, Wordplay 28, Satire 20, Callback 10, Running bit 3, Visual gag 3, Comic / parody song 2.

← Humor overview · 2007 · 2008 · 2009 · 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016 · 2017 · 2018 · 2019 · 2020 · 2021 · 2022 · 2023 · 2024 · 2025 · 2026

2010-01

  • John compares his view of rules to running the 110 m hurdles and getting an idea mid-race. → “this race would go so much faster if we just eliminated the hurdles” — Absurd, John — It Hurts In My Toof: The 2010 Rules (2010-01-04, 00:01:16)
  • Hank sets John's punishment: face his fear of heights on the Frog Hopper. → “and while you're up there, I want you to tell me you love me.” — Absurd, Hank — 15 Hours in Target! (2010-01-06, 00:03:17)
  • John celebrates Alabama, 'our ancestral homeland', winning the college football title. → “Alabama may be 48th in education, but we are first in football played by people enrolled at educational institutions.” — Satire, John — GUS HAS NO FUZZ! (2010-01-08, 00:00:00)
  • Just off the Frog Hopper, John reports what the ride operator told him. → “the girl operating the Froghopper said that I was the biggest guy she'd ever seen on it. Thanks?” — Self-deprecation, John — Froghoppin' with Gatsby (2010-01-13, 00:01:30)
  • John imagines explaining the blue sky to his kid as poop from giant blue birds orbiting the world. → “Except when they're sick, when they poop gray and that's why clouds are gray.” — Absurd, John — Fatherhood (2010-01-18, 00:01:07)
  • Hank speculates on the origin of the baby's name. → “We can only assume that Henry was named after John's younger, smarter, better looking brother.” — Absurd, Hank — OMG MY BROTHER HAD A BABY (2010-01-20, 00:02:15)
  • Looking at the newborn's mass of black hair, Hank predicts whom he will resemble. → “he will take after his mother, for which we are all intensely grateful.” — Absurd, Hank — OMG MY BROTHER HAD A BABY (2010-01-20, 00:02:21)
  • Maureen lists the titles Nerdfighters may know her by. → “you may also know me by my most common title which is second prettiest green brother” — Absurd, Maureen Johnson — ThisIsNotJohn (2010-01-22, 00:00:20)
  • Maureen explains her role as John's stand-in host. → “what I am is the Conan to John's Leno because he's just giving me the show and he's just gonna take it right back” — Satire, Maureen Johnson — ThisIsNotJohn (2010-01-22, 00:00:20)
  • Explaining why John needs a stand-in at all, the originator of 'in your pants' finally gets to say it. → “this wouldn't really even be an issue if John just could, you know, keep it in his pants.” — Callback, Maureen Johnson — ThisIsNotJohn (2010-01-22, 00:00:42)
  • Hank relays news from John about the newborn as if the parents had been deciding. → “They have decided to keep Henry.” — Absurd, Hank — Name My Dog! (2010-01-25, 00:00:29)
  • In the Truth or Fail clip, John's baby has Hank and his wife talking about 'making our two into three'. → “I'm talking, of course, about getting a dog.” — Wordplay, Hank — Name My Dog! (2010-01-25, 00:02:38)
  • Viewers' most common comment: 'Oh my god, John Green has boobs.' → “You guys, the man just had a baby. Come on.” — Absurd, Maureen Johnson — Boobs and the iPad (2010-01-27, 00:00:54)
  • Apple is rumored to announce its tablet today. → “not since the time of Moses has humanity been this excited about the appearance of a tablet” — Wordplay, Maureen Johnson — Boobs and the iPad (2010-01-27, 00:01:53)
  • YouTube has spoken on what Hank should name his dog. → “how awesome would it be to have a dog named boobs” — Absurd, Maureen Johnson — Boobs and the iPad (2010-01-27, 00:03:20)
  • Hank describes the 1997 ad that used the late Fred Astaire dancing with a vacuum cleaner. → “zombie Fred Astaire, we're assuming because he was dead, did a dance with a dirt devil vacuum cleaner” — Absurd, Hank — An Extremely Brief History of Superbowl Commercials (2010-01-29, 00:01:17)

2010-02

  • Voicing the young writer who insists they already suck enough, she stumbles into an innuendo. → “I haven't sucked long and hard enough, and I... did I just actually say that?” — Wordplay, Maureen Johnson — DARE TO SUCK (2010-02-05, 00:02:26)
  • An administrative note on John's paternity leave with his newborn son. → “he is going to give Henry another week before he makes him go out and get a job” — Absurd, Maureen Johnson — DARE TO SUCK (2010-02-05, 00:03:25)
  • An online campaign put Rage Against the Machine above the X Factor winner, yet Sony owned both. → “Except it turns out that we were raging against the wrong machine,” — Wordplay, Hank — Hypocrisy: All They Want is Money (2010-02-08, 00:00:43)
  • After Dove's 'real women are beautiful' campaign, Hank voices the Axe body spray pitch. → ““Shhhh! I’ll spray myself, and then I can use women for sex.”” — Satire, Hank — Hypocrisy: All They Want is Money (2010-02-08, 00:01:45)
  • Kraft was owned by Philip Morris, 'possibly the most intense brand hypocrisy of all time': Kraft focused on family meals, and its owner... → “and Philip Morris, focusing on... killing people.” — Satire, Hank — Hypocrisy: All They Want is Money (2010-02-08, 00:02:53)
  • A viewer's message asks the brothers to upload 'hot videos like kisses and other'; John finds the premise funniest. → “And he thinks the only way to rectify this problem is to reach out to the Vlogbrothers.” — Absurd, John — Hello Baby!! (2010-02-15, 00:03:05)
  • Hank says one of his high-school girlfriends thought relationship labels were arbitrary. → “I think she also thought that monogamy was arbitrary.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — WRONG WRONG WRONG (2010-02-17, 00:00:41)
  • Holding two handfuls of urine, John screams for Sarah, who tells him to drop it. → “At which point, I basically drop poor Henry.” — Self-deprecation, John — Henry's Pee and My Gut (2010-02-19, 00:00:28)
  • A comment calls John the smart uncle and Hank the hot cousin; John gives Nerdfighters advice. → “Your relationship with your smart uncle and your hot cousin should be the same. Platonic.” — Absurd, John — Henry's Pee and My Gut (2010-02-19, 00:01:43)
  • John admits he has gained 63 pounds since a 1995 photo of his skinny self. → “I needed to gain the first maybe 20, but the last 43 were strictly optional” — Self-deprecation, John — JOHN GREEN IS FAT. (2010-02-24, 00:00:29)
  • John says he has started running. → “my version of running in which sometimes I am passed by people who walk fast” — Self-deprecation, John — JOHN GREEN IS FAT. (2010-02-24, 00:02:03)

2010-03

  • The Olympic closing ceremonies cut to the new show The Marriage Ref, produced around Jerry Seinfeld. → “It's the closing ceremonies of Jerry Seinfeld's career.” — Satire, John — The Marriage Ref SUCKS (2010-03-01, 00:00:33)
  • Calling back to the giant inflatable beavers, John tells Zucker he would see there are no cats or skateboards. → “if you didn't have your head so far up the ass of a gigantic inflatable beaver” — Callback, John — The Marriage Ref SUCKS (2010-03-01, 00:02:44)
  • John says that putting Blades of Steel in the machine he discovered red poop; well, the poop wasn't actually red, it was brown. → “but it was from Red.” — Wordplay, John — Red Green, the Nintendo, and HANK (2010-03-05, 00:01:57)
  • Ruling himself out, John says he loved that Nintendo more than he loved his own... → “I'll just say it, brother.” — Absurd, John — Red Green, the Nintendo, and HANK (2010-03-05, 00:02:10)
  • John's second theory: in the night Red Green woke in a fit of violent jealousy, backed up to the Nintendo and put his bum against its opening. → “projectile poop into the Nintendo.” — Absurd, John — Red Green, the Nintendo, and HANK (2010-03-05, 00:02:38)
  • John asks Hank whether he put Red Green's poop in the Nintendo. → “Or was Red Green some kind of pooping genius?” — Absurd, John — Red Green, the Nintendo, and HANK (2010-03-05, 00:03:00)
  • Hank says he has never touched dog poop unless someone else asked him to. → “So if I put poop in the Nintendo, it's because Jesus came and told me to do it. Or mom.” — Absurd, Hank — GIGANTIC CHICKEN EGG!! (2010-03-08, 00:00:29)
  • Hank argues you would not put poop in something you love, comparing it to John and his ninth-grade crush. → “You loved her. Why would you put poop in her?” — Absurd, Hank — GIGANTIC CHICKEN EGG!! (2010-03-08, 00:01:51)
  • A viewer asks 'Who the F is Hank?' → “Hank is a small coral atoll 703 nautical miles south of the equator.” — Running bit, John — New Tour! New Book! (Remember Books?) Your Q's A'ed! (2010-03-10, 00:00:00)
  • John says Carroll's raven and writing-desk riddle has no answer, then thinks of one. → “Ah, I got it. Edgar Allan Poe wrote on both.” — Wordplay, John — New Tour! New Book! (Remember Books?) Your Q's A'ed! (2010-03-10, 00:02:05)
  • Lemon is happiest right after she poops. → “Which makes me very nostalgic for the days in which I used to enjoy pooping.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Peeing, Pooping, Prescription Drugs, and Ramen Noodle Fires (2010-03-12, 00:00:58)
  • Henry treats John not as a person but as a kind of machine; John plays the part. → “I am your robot-need-filler. What are your needs? Do you need to be nomed?” — Absurd, John — Cute OVERLOAD: The Ultimate Concern Edition (2010-03-15, 00:01:02)
  • John lists Henry's favorite rap songs as baby versions of hip-hop titles. → “dad's down with opp' you know, other peoples poop” — Comic / parody song, John — Cute OVERLOAD: The Ultimate Concern Edition (2010-03-15, 00:03:02)
  • Hank claims the world wears green and dyes beer and rivers green for his mom's birthday, which falls on St. Patrick's Day. → “If you think they're celebrating this St. Patrick's guy, you got another thing coming.” — Absurd, Hank — Side-Boob is Not my Ultimate Concern (2010-03-17, 00:03:16)
  • John translates the French title of Paper Towns. → “The funny face of Margot. I got a 1 on the French AP exam.” — Self-deprecation, John — Foreign John Green Books and the Ultimate Concern (2010-03-19, 00:00:29)
  • The Mexican edition of Looking for Alaska has a labyrinth on the cover and then a shoe. → “Oh, inexplicable shoe. You're probably a metaphor, but I don't understand you.” — Absurd, John — Foreign John Green Books and the Ultimate Concern (2010-03-19, 00:02:56)
  • Toxoplasmosis makes infected women happier and men worse off, which Hank says has been posited as an explanation. → “there are so many crazy, old cat ladies, and not so many crazy, old cat men.” — Absurd, Hank — Top 10 Weirdest Diseases (2010-03-22, 00:02:02)
  • A turtle that sits still 23.5 hours a day moving only to eat sounds a lot like John's life. → “only Cantor's softshell turtle gets to live on the beach and I have to live in Indianapolis.” — Self-deprecation, John — Top 10 Animal POWER MOVES (2010-03-24, 00:00:55)
  • John voices a cuttlefish lighting up like a disco ball and inviting prey to a crazy rave. → “You just got eaten.” — Absurd, John — Top 10 Animal POWER MOVES (2010-03-24, 00:01:30)
  • A Bigfoot-believing namesake John Green wrote to John after his Mental Floss article called Bigfoot fictional. → “was besmirching the good name of John Greens everywhere.” — Absurd, John — Quotations (And Holden Hats) (2010-03-29, 00:00:50)

2010-04

  • YouTube moved the description box below the video, where John points when he says doobly-doo. → “only to have YouTube move it to my pants.” — Absurd, John — Will Grayson, Will Grayson (2010-04-02, 00:00:00)
  • Hank solemnly reads YouTube's garbled auto-captions of John's sky-is-blue video, giant space birds and all. → “And that is why house are gray.” — Absurd, Hank — Google in your Brain (2010-04-05, 00:00:00)
  • At the first tour event many fans wore the Pizza John shirt. → “it's hard to focus on what you're saying when there's a pedophilic pizza loving version of yourself staring back at you” — Absurd, John — Shmancy Hotel Room Is Shmancy (2010-04-07, 00:00:58)
  • Hank explains to baby Henry why he, not John, will answer his questions. → “I am smart in the ways that your dad is stupid.” — Absurd, Hank — Why is the Sky Blue and Other Questions Answered (2010-04-09, 00:00:19)
  • Asked where hamburgers come from, Hank describes calves taken from their mothers, fattened in feedlots, killed and ground up. → “'Cause it's delicious.” — Satire, Hank — Why is the Sky Blue and Other Questions Answered (2010-04-09, 00:02:03)
  • Henry (Hank in a hat) asks what a Horcrux is. → “Young man, where did you hear that word?” — Absurd, Hank — Why is the Sky Blue and Other Questions Answered (2010-04-09, 00:03:09)
  • Henry asks what 'getting knocked up' means. → “It's the- it's the opposite of getting knocked down.” — Wordplay, Hank — Why is the Sky Blue and Other Questions Answered (2010-04-09, 00:03:39)
  • John claims one of the largest collections of books about conjoined twins. → “In fact, I have more books about conjoined twins than there are conjoined twins.” — Absurd, John — On the Separation of Conjoined Twins (2010-04-12, 00:00:29)
  • Chang and Eng married separate women and had kids; John wonders how that worked. → “Maybe one of them was like, are you done yet?” — Absurd, John — On the Separation of Conjoined Twins (2010-04-12, 00:01:27)
  • John says regular anatomies can't bench press more than 80 pounds, and is contradicted. → “Well, are you saying that I have a weird anatomy?” — Self-deprecation, John — On the Separation of Conjoined Twins (2010-04-12, 00:02:21)
  • A famous painting is called St. Clare Saving a Child from a Wolf; the child might call it something else. → “St. Clair showing up just a little bit late vis-a-vis my left arm and its attachment to my body” — Absurd, John — The Patron Saint of Youtube (2010-04-16, 00:01:02)
  • Padre Pio could be in two places at the same time. → “He could be at the Pizza Hut, and he could be at the Taco Bell without being at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.” — Absurd, John — The Patron Saint of Youtube (2010-04-16, 00:02:29)
  • John promises to blow Hank's mind with post-structuralism and Foucault, a pretext to make Hank stop watching. → “Okay, I figure Hank probably turned off the video around the foot in Foucault.” — Absurd, John — The Insurrection of Subjugated Knowledges (2010-04-21, 00:00:00)
  • Nobody knew what to get Hank, who doesn't really like anything except ideas. → “But then we realized that Hank does like oxygen.” — Absurd, John — The Insurrection of Subjugated Knowledges (2010-04-21, 00:01:05)
  • John narrates showering and changing but cannot show it. → “I worry that the blinding beauty of my naked body might result in nerdfighters getting retinal damage.” — Self-deprecation, John — Nerdfighters, They Named a PLANE After Us (2010-04-26, 00:00:00)
  • For National Poetry Reading Day Hank recites a haiku that begins 'Haikus are easy, but sometimes they don't make sense.' → “Refrigerator.” — Absurd, Hank — Who's in Your Hug Bucket? (2010-04-28, 00:00:30)
  • Explaining how doubt makes Greek debt costlier and repayment impossible, John says: 'You see, Hank, it's a circle, and it's vicious.' → “That's where they got the term.” — Wordplay, John — The Greek Debt Crisis Explained in Four Minutes (2010-04-30, 00:02:05)
  • After the grim debt arithmetic, John offers investment advice. → “I do think we should all buy unicorn pinatas and hide our valuables in them.” — Absurd, John — The Greek Debt Crisis Explained in Four Minutes (2010-04-30, 00:03:01)

2010-05

  • Hank contrasts the internet's infinite variety of crap with a finite amount, which is just crap. → “Whereas an infinite amount of crap is hope.” — Wordplay, Hank — Net Neutrality in the Shower (2010-05-03, 00:03:13)
  • Nerdfighteria agonized over what to get Hank, who is hard to shop for, for his 30th birthday. → “You like oxygen.” — Absurd, John — HANKO DE MAYO!!!!11!! (2010-05-05, 00:00:36)
  • A Nerdfighter plants a pair of shoes, hoping to get shoe trees. → “God, I hope they're Doc Martens.” — Wordplay, John — HANKO DE MAYO!!!!11!! (2010-05-05, 00:03:45)
  • John answers the too-smart-girlfriend question with a line he says he has said before. → “The Venn diagram of boys who don't like smart girls and boys you don't want to date is a circle.” — Callback, John — Advice on Dumb Boyfriends, Going to College, and More (2010-05-10, 00:02:12)
  • Molly Lewis arrives with her assistant, both with a ukulele, in a riff on a notorious shock video. → “Two girls, one uke, don't fear, it won't make you puke unless you're easily nauseated by things abnormally cute.” — Wordplay, Hank — Hank Raps about w00tstock...for real (2010-05-12, 00:00:57)
  • Reassuring Nerdfighters who haven't been kissed, John promises they will eventually kiss someone. → “and you'll kiss them and it will be disappointing, and in all probability too tonguey,” — Absurd, John — Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More (2010-05-14, 00:00:36)
  • Arguing majors are overrated, John notes Hank majored in biochemistry and is now a rapper. → “and me, a person who talks to blind sock puppets in his basement. While wearing a pizza suit.” — Self-deprecation, John — Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More (2010-05-14, 00:02:49)
  • A viewer asks how to stop her dog eating all her mom's romance novels. → “I can't tell because of your pronoun's ambiguous antecedent.” — Wordplay, John — Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More (2010-05-14, 00:03:29)
  • After Daddy can't afford a Pacific isle and defaults on his loan, the lullaby escalates to a whole country. → “Daddy's gonna buy you the Sultanate of Oman” — Comic / parody song, John — Adorable Baby Is Adorable (2010-05-19, 00:01:42)
  • If after all that the baby still weeps, Daddy must face a hard truth. → “while buying goods and services may benefit the economy, it's not necessarily the best way to get babies to sleep.” — Satire, John — Adorable Baby Is Adorable (2010-05-19, 00:02:10)
  • Step three: there are several ways, from test tubes to turkey basters, but by far the most common is to have sex. → “Alright, so, that was fun.” — Absurd, John — How To Make a Baby (2010-05-24, 00:01:12)
  • Step five: if you are not the person giving birth, this would be a great time to say… → “"You're doing awesome." and then, faint.” — Self-deprecation, John — How To Make a Baby (2010-05-24, 00:01:50)
  • Step six: the baby cries. → “Step 7: You cry” — Absurd, John — How To Make a Baby (2010-05-24, 00:01:52)
  • Before tying a tie you must ask yourself whether it is Christmas; if so, wear your Christmas tie. → “And if not, you're still going to want to go with your Christmas tie, because we don't actually know when Jesus was born.” — Absurd, John — How To Do Everything (2010-05-28, 00:00:00)
  • After the 90% statistic, John advises couples trying to conceive to persist. → “So just keep banging away at it. Wait, that pronoun has an ambiguous antecedent.” — Wordplay, John — How To Do Everything (2010-05-28, 00:01:57)
  • Chorus: down on the farm where the sky is always blue... → “And we never kill the pigs and the cows never poo” — Absurd, Hank — Farmville!!!!! A Song (2010-05-31, 00:00:24)

2010-06

  • Hank had motive: John hogged the Nintendo, which is true... → “and also I loved the Nintendo more than I loved you, which is also true.” — Absurd, John — The Case of the Poopy Nintendo (2010-06-02, 00:00:00)
  • To gather data for his poop experiment, John turns to social media. → “First I used Twitter for what Twitter is designed for.” — Satire, John — The Case of the Poopy Nintendo (2010-06-02, 00:00:50)
  • Mom, Dad and Hank all deny it; John says he is not saying it was Hank. → “I'm just saying it wasn't Mom, it wasn't Dad, it wasn't me, and there's no one else in our family.” — Absurd, John — The Case of the Poopy Nintendo (2010-06-02, 00:02:58)
  • Offered $2 per thousand views, 'more than anyone else gets', Viacom thinks it over. → “how about ONE BILLION DOLLARS!!!” — Absurd, Hank — YouTube vs. Viacom The Battle Explained (2010-06-04, 00:01:18)
  • Pressed on why YouTube keeps growing, Viacom pleads that it is an old media company that can't handle change. → “This is the kind of change that means we're gonna make less money!” — Satire, Hank — YouTube vs. Viacom The Battle Explained (2010-06-04, 00:03:42)
  • YouTube wants to pay what online video ads are worth; Viacom wants what they would be worth... → “if we lived in a land of money trees and candy fountains” — Satire, John — Viacom PWNED on Piracy (2010-06-07, 00:01:29)
  • Viacom hates piracy, so surely it will pay Coulton - unless there is one other possibility. → “Viacom thinks the definition of piracy is stealing from someone who has a lawyer” — Satire, John — Viacom PWNED on Piracy (2010-06-07, 00:02:56)
  • Browsing Spike.com, Hank reverts to his 14-year-old self: boobies, violence, butts and Mountain Dew. → “Apparently some people got stuck at 14 and those people they love spike.com” — Absurd, Hank — Should We Sue Viacom? (2010-06-09, 00:01:56)
  • Lawyers think Viacom made about $2 from stealing John's video; Viacom is famously opposed to piracy. → “If Viacom is so opposed to piracy, I assume they'll be sending me my $2 soon.” — Satire, John — Mmmm....PARTS (2010-06-11, 00:00:45)
  • Right after insisting soccer is just a game, Hank thinks of The Game. → “And God, I just lost the game.” — Wordplay, Hank — You just lost THE GAME! (2010-06-18, 00:00:29)
  • Told the Earth's end is a long way away, eight-year-old John reasons the teacher is old but he might yet live that long. → “It's very plausible that with advances in medical science I could live for six billion years!” — Absurd, John — You're Gonna Die (2010-06-21, 00:00:43)
  • Hank celebrates YouTube's court win over Viacom the way soccer fans celebrate a goal. → “Goal! See, that's what I would break my glasses.” — Absurd, Hank — GOOOOOOOL!!!! (2010-06-23, 00:01:05)
  • John's panel with David Levithan asks how to use the internet to lure readers. → “That sounds like the beginning of an episode of To Catch a Predator, you know?” — Absurd, John — Book Nerd PARADISE (2010-06-25, 00:00:34)
  • John asks his editor, who says she loves his new book but hasn't finished it, why she hasn't finished it. → “I don't love it that much.” — Self-deprecation, John — Book Nerd PARADISE (2010-06-25, 00:00:34)
  • The doctor's notes say Gage vomited out half a teacupful of brain; Hank explains the obsolete unit. → “it's roughly-- WAY TOO MUCH BRAIN.” — Absurd, Hank — Stabbed in the Brain: Phineas Gage (2010-06-29, 00:01:44)
  • John admits he was an inveterate liar as a child. → “As opposed to now, when I am a novelist.” — Self-deprecation, John — Poopy Nintendo Mystery SOLVED WITH SCIENCE (2010-06-30, 00:02:27)

2010-07

  • In the outtake John, with a hood up, says he looks like a bank robber and imagines a witness description. → “Mmm, about six foot one, pretty nerdy, fair bit of puff.” — Self-deprecation, John — With Esther (2010-07-05, 00:03:25)
  • Hank asks how James, who looks 12, has a lot of kids. → “I started when I was six, and nobody talked to me about prophylactics, so five kids at the age of 18.” — Absurd, Hank — Los Angeles Earthquake at VidCon (2010-07-08, 00:01:26)
  • John, in a turkey costume, asks hiimrawn whether he is supposed to dance or get on stage. → “Batman, I'm going to need you to be a leader in this situation.” — Absurd, John — Top 10 VIDCON MOMENTS (2010-07-14, 00:01:04)
  • As John signs off, Hank interrupts him in the manner of a famous awards-show interruption. → “I'm happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish, but the Vlogbrothers have one of the most subscribed YouTube channels of all time!” — Absurd, Hank — Top 10 VIDCON MOMENTS (2010-07-14, 00:03:33)
  • Hank shows two playpen balls signed by Shane Dawson. → “I can technically say that Shane Dawson inscribed his name upon my balls.” — Wordplay, Hank — VidCon, Oil Spill, Punishments, Shane Dawson, and my Balls (2010-07-16, 00:01:01)
  • John says a 'Shane Dawson signed my balls' title and thumbnail would be guaranteed a huge audience, then corrects himself to 'views'. → “that video is more or less guaranteed to get 10 million balls.” — Wordplay, John — I Like Balls (2010-07-20, 00:00:26)
  • John admits the brothers can't claim the moral high ground on chasing views. → “our three most viewed videos are in order giraffe sex, giraffe sex, and giraffe sex.” — Self-deprecation, John — I Like Balls (2010-07-20, 00:01:14)
  • A fan asks Snooki for a photo, then another asks Hank Green for one, while Snooki watches. → “was confused. And that is what it's like when worlds collide.” — Absurd, Hank — I Hung out with Snookie...Accidentally (2010-07-21, 00:00:52)
  • Snooki's tweet complains about fuss when she misses a period. → “I'm not the one who should be concerned when you miss a period.” — Wordplay, John — Grammar School with Snooki (2010-07-24, 00:01:00)
  • Snooki tells people not to have heart attacks when she misses a 'coma'; John is deeply concerned about missed comas. → “The only excuse for missing a coma is being in a coma.” — Wordplay, John — Grammar School with Snooki (2010-07-24, 00:01:15)
  • John lays out three readings of Snooki's margaritas tweet, from giant hands to a third hand to a ménage à trois. → “we can't tell if Snooki is polyamorously inclined or has a secret third hand.” — Absurd, John — Grammar School with Snooki (2010-07-24, 00:02:50)
  • Church bells interrupt John's vlogging; they are so loud he cannot tell where they come from and seem omnipresent. → “Which, in retrospect, I guess is probably the point.” — Absurd, John — Umbrellas Amuse Me: Observations from One Day in Munich (2010-07-28, 00:01:27)
  • Hank imagines a condolence email about a dead golden retriever from someone who thinks LOL means 'lots of love'. → “Lol, Margaret.” — Absurd, Hank — Demon Four Year Old (2010-07-30, 00:00:20)
  • After happily agreeing to play Go Fish, five minutes later the nephew turns on Uncle Hank in a demon voice. → “I will torture your soul for an eternity of hellfire.” — Absurd, Hank — Demon Four Year Old (2010-07-30, 00:01:36)

2010-08

  • John cites Juliet's 'a rose by any other name' as the view that names don't matter. → “But, spoiler alert, it's worth noting that that worldview does not actually spell success for Romeo and Juliet.” — Absurd, John — I Love Hank: Esther Day 2010 (2010-08-02, 00:01:27)
  • Hypothetically, instead of saying he loves his brother, someone might show it by having thousands of people plant tens of thousands of trees for his birthday. → “I don't know what the thing is.” — Self-deprecation, John — I Love Hank: Esther Day 2010 (2010-08-02, 00:02:26)
  • Hank asks Katherine what the buffalo said to his son when he went off to college. → “Bison.” — Wordplay, Hank — Family, Love and BISON ATTACKS! (2010-08-04, 00:02:00)
  • Hank complains it is weird to eat bison burgers next to the bison range. → “And I just realized that my wallet is made out of bison leather, so I'm going to shut up now.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Family, Love and BISON ATTACKS! (2010-08-04, 00:03:31)
  • At the pinnacle of his sentimental walk John is stung by a bee. → “stings you on the very top of your left butt cheek, ruining everything.” — Absurd, John — Looking for Alaska at My High School (2010-08-06, 00:02:42)
  • Hank gives his second reason a study of earlier puberty is disturbing. → “it means that there are people in the world who study young girls' breasts for a living.” — Absurd, Hank — JOIN THE PEN15 CLUB!! (2010-08-10, 00:00:29)
  • Hank fumbles writing 'pen 15' on his hand to demonstrate the prank and moves to his arm. → “And it looks like it says penis.” — Absurd, Hank — JOIN THE PEN15 CLUB!! (2010-08-10, 00:01:56)
  • John took a college biology class called 'AIDS, Ebola, and Emerging Viruses' as an example of classes shaping your life. → “today, I am a hypochondriac” — Self-deprecation, John — College Advice From an Expert (2010-08-11, 00:01:30)
  • John mocks one-club people who think their club is the only one that matters. → “I love you Tibet, it's nothing personal. I just also love Burma” — Satire, John — College Advice From an Expert (2010-08-11, 00:03:00)
  • John refuses to repeat the lie that college will be the best years of your life. → “which it won't unless you have a terrible, terrible life” — Absurd, John — College Advice From an Expert (2010-08-11, 00:03:17)
  • In the nature-documentary parody, Hank says scientists believe Dan's displays exist to attract a mate. → “though there is strong evidence that the displays have in fact had the opposite effect.” — Absurd, Hank — The Marvelous Mystery of The Dan (2010-08-13, 00:01:00)
  • Hank's severed tendon left a permanent ache in his right hand. → “I always know that the one that hurts is the right.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — The Marvelous Mystery of The Dan (2010-08-13, 00:03:28)
  • A department store ad orders John to lust for a red purse; once it was enough just to want a handbag. → “you have to feel sexually attracted to your handbags” — Satire, John — Lust and Folly in London and Edinburgh (2010-08-16, 00:00:02)
  • John explains what YouTube nerds do when they meet in real life. → “We watched YouTube.” — Absurd, John — Lust and Folly in London and Edinburgh (2010-08-16, 00:00:42)
  • Hank hopes Toomey misunderstood the question when he names penguins as his favourite food. → “They taste of codfish mixed with the heart of an auroch.” — Absurd, Hank — Demon Four Year Old Interviewed (2010-08-18, 00:01:18)
  • Asked what else he likes, the demon names a political commentator. → “I like Glenn Beck. Okay, and that is officially where the interview ends.” — Satire, Hank — Demon Four Year Old Interviewed (2010-08-18, 00:01:49)
  • John's favourite recent comment exchange: someone commented 'that guy looks like a nerd'. → “he doesn't just look like a nerd. To the library!” — Wordplay, John — The Fox Hat IS REAL, but Are Zombies People? (2010-08-20, 00:01:27)
  • Announcing important developments 'in the field of your pants', John reveals a UK Nerdfighter's find, a children's book. → “The Sweaty Yeti. In your pants. The Sweaty Yeti.” — Running bit, John — The Fox Hat IS REAL, but Are Zombies People? (2010-08-20, 00:03:18)
  • After concluding Obama is not a Muslim, John lists other things he is not. → “He's also not Jewish, not a baby and not the starting left fielder for the New York Yankees.” — Absurd, John — Is Obama a Muslim? Examine the Evidence! (2010-08-22, 00:02:42)
  • Applying dark 'dramatic smoky' eyeshadow while unable to see with his eyes closed, Hank reviews the result. → “I look like I've been beaten. With a hose.” — Absurd, Hank — Make-up Tutorial: Katniss Everdeen Look (2010-08-23, 00:02:14)
  • Realising he cannot remove the makeup he has just applied, Hank decides to eat a granola bar and edit his video as he is. → “No one's watching.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Make-up Tutorial: Katniss Everdeen Look (2010-08-23, 00:03:37)
  • Recapping John's 32nd year in song, Hank lists his achievements. → “And yes, you taught Snooki all about serial commas.” — Callback, Hank — FRENCH THE LLAMA! John is 33! (2010-08-24, 00:03:23)
  • The song's refrain greets John's new age with his catchphrase. → “And now you're 33, French the Llama.” — Running bit, Hank — FRENCH THE LLAMA! John is 33! (2010-08-24, 00:04:20)

2010-09

  • John demonstrates his middle-school 'hello' greeting move as a stretch. → “Did not turn out to be a great social strategy” — Self-deprecation, John — Fitness for Nerds (2010-09-02, 00:00:58)
  • After sit-ups counted digit by digit through pi, John reaches the first zero. → “If you want a great workout, go to the second zero.” — Absurd, John — Fitness for Nerds (2010-09-02, 00:04:43)
  • Leading the cool-down breathing, John asks viewers to let go of the day's stress. → “I want you to forget about the fact that you're wearing aqua leggings and argyle socks” — Self-deprecation, John — Fitness for Nerds (2010-09-02, 00:08:43)
  • Having shouted that pennies are worthless, John contradicts himself: things that are worthless are worth nothing. → “and pennies are worth much less than nothing.” — Wordplay, John — I HATE PENNIES!!!! (Also Nickels.) (2010-09-06, 00:01:04)
  • Listing payment methods for the shirt pre-order, John says they take really anything. → “...Except for pennies. ...And nickels.” — Callback, John — I HATE PENNIES!!!! (Also Nickels.) (2010-09-06, 00:03:48)
  • John describes a giant baby pulling himself along the ground, crawling toward him. → “Giant baby attack.” — Absurd, John — Giant Baby Attack (2010-09-11, 00:00:07)
  • Asked for nerd exercises, Hank demonstrates a new stretch. → “I've dropped something behind the desk.” — Absurd, John — Giant Baby Attack (2010-09-11, 00:02:59)
  • John panics as he ding-dong-ditches strangers to leave them free Tootsie Pops. → “the consequences will never be the same!” — Absurd, John — Positive Pranking: The TP Edition (2010-09-15, 00:01:27)
  • Hank decides hanging up right after the fact is more prank-like, and cuts off a woman mid-sentence after the poverty statistic. → “She was talking and I just hung up on her. Haha! Pranked!” — Absurd, Hank — Positive Prank Calls!! (2010-09-17, 00:01:53)
  • After a whole essay on critical reading built around pizza, John eats a slice. → “Did I make that entire video so that I could eat one piece of pizza on my diet? Maybe.” — Self-deprecation, John — Life Is Like Pizza (2010-09-20, 00:03:42)
  • Hank's letter to 15-year-old John repeats John's letter almost word for word, with science in place of critical reading. → “when you're 33, you're going to write a video letter to 15-year-old me saying those exact same things about critical reading.” — Callback, Hank — Non-VIrgin...a Lexical Gap? (2010-09-22, 00:02:42)
  • Hank orders 15-year-old John to dump a girlfriend he knows nothing about, for John's future self-esteem. → “if there is ONE girlfriend in your past that you managed to dump before she dumped you” — Absurd, Hank — Non-VIrgin...a Lexical Gap? (2010-09-22, 00:03:24)
  • After John's phone 'break-up' with his 15-year-old girlfriend, Fran cheerfully says she is a big fan of Nerdfighteria. → “Well, she seemed devastated.” — Absurd, John — Dumping My Girlfriend (2010-09-24, 00:01:58)
  • Hank writes to Alanis Morissette about a death-row pardon that arrives two minutes too late. → “that is extremely unfortunate. It is not, however, ironic.” — Satire, Hank — Stop Embarrassing Yourself (2010-09-27, 00:00:48)
  • Commenters' 'you lose the game' is often misspelled, so Hank does not lose the Game after all. → “I'm thinking about the failure of the American education system.” — Callback, Hank — Stop Embarrassing Yourself (2010-09-27, 00:01:26)
  • Reading 'hors d'oeuvres' in books, John never connected the word with the food he ate. → “That sounds like something you order at a brothel.” — Wordplay, John — MY FRIEND CHESTER (2010-09-29, 00:01:38)

2010-10

  • On a walking path John begins Frost's 'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I...' → “I took the road more traveled by because I did not want to get lost in Waupaca, Wisconsin.” — Wordplay, John — The Terrible Burden of Destiny: Chicago and Waupaca (2010-10-04, 00:01:00)
  • Awash in the majesty of the woods, John reveals what he was really thinking. → “I need to pee and I can't decide if I'm adequately in the woods right now to pee here” — Self-deprecation, John — The Terrible Burden of Destiny: Chicago and Waupaca (2010-10-04, 00:01:11)
  • John reads Marshall Field II asking his doctor about his chances of recovery, then supplies the answer. → “I mean, in retrospect. Zero.” — Absurd, John — GEEKING OUT Over Dying Declarations (2010-10-08, 00:01:54)
  • Enterprise gives Hank a 'quadruple upgrade' to a 'real big truck'. → “we don't call something a truck unless you can throw a bull elk in the back of it.” — Absurd, Hank — Like a Snake Swallowing an Egg: Thoughts from Florida (2010-10-11, 00:00:35)
  • Off camera, someone eats something in two bites while friends watch and cheer. → “Like a snake swallowing an egg.” — Absurd, Hank — Like a Snake Swallowing an Egg: Thoughts from Florida (2010-10-11, 00:02:47)
  • Hank plays a Trojan commander congratulating his men on the beautiful horse the departed Greeks left behind. → “Let us bring it into the walls of our city and leave it unguarded overnight.” — Absurd, Hank — TOP 7 FAILS OF HISTORY (2010-10-15, 00:01:25)
  • John builds suspense about how long giraffe coitus lasts. → “Until finally, coitus occurs, lasting up to... several seconds.” — Absurd, John — Giraffe Sex: A Terrifying Introduction to Nature at Work (and Play) (2010-10-19, 00:02:33)
  • John imagines explaining to Henry where baby giraffes come from using Hank's shirt as a 'helpful diagram'. → “there is a heart that forms in the space between their necks, and that heart is a baby giraffe.” — Absurd, John — Giraffe Sex: A Terrifying Introduction to Nature at Work (and Play) (2010-10-19, 00:03:24)
  • After building up his months of learning an instrument to join Hank's band, John reveals the instrument. → “I want to be your sing-a-ma-jig player.” — Absurd, John — Making Adorable Music (2010-10-22, 00:00:29)
  • Asking what stands between Hank and the next level of his career, John paraphrases 'the great Christopher Walken'. → “you need more sing-a-ma-jig.” — Absurd, John — Making Adorable Music (2010-10-22, 00:01:09)
  • John redoes the check discovery with the llama prop found, opening the forgotten check from James at War. → “French the llama! $540?!” — Callback, John — You Are Awesome (2010-10-27, 00:02:04)
  • Worst case for the Vlogbrothers in 20 years: Hank playing a Vegas lounge show. → “30 minutes off the strip singing to five people in the audience who have no idea who I am.” — Absurd, Hank — Hank Has Questions (2010-10-29, 00:00:58)
  • Plugging the giraffe love shirt, Hank describes what the adorable giraffes want. → “love each other for a very short and terrifying amount of time before the dude runs off and shags a bunch of dudes.” — Callback, Hank — Hank Has Questions (2010-10-29, 00:03:19)
  • Going as Dexter for Halloween, Hank asks commenters for their costumes and adds a threat if they don't. → “I won't kill you unless I suspect that you are a murderer and that you're going to kill more people in the future.” — Absurd, Hank — Hank Has Questions (2010-10-29, 00:03:49)

2010-11

  • John earnestly touts White Wilderness as a very famous documentary. → “Yeah, mostly famous for staging lemming suicide.” — Absurd, John — Consider the Lemming (2010-11-01, 00:00:29)
  • After Rousseau dropping his drawers in public hoping girls would spank him. → “In a related story, ineffective strategy is ineffective.” — Absurd, John — Consider the Lemming (2010-11-01, 00:02:46)
  • Gage shoves the tamping rod onto the blasting powder without the sand. → “his entire left frontal lobe had been turned into clam chowder” — Absurd, Hank — Phineas Gage: A Song (2010-11-03, 00:00:34)
  • The doctor cannot believe a rod went through Gage's head, since he'd surely be dead. → “But then Phineas had a coughing fit and a teacupful of brains fell out of his head” — Absurd, Hank — Phineas Gage: A Song (2010-11-03, 00:01:10)
  • Armed peasant women demand that Louis and Marie Antoinette move from Versailles to Paris. → “Which they did, because everyone is afraid of armed peasant women.” — Absurd, John — God and Grain: The French Revolution, Part I (2010-11-05, 00:04:48)
  • John previews the Revolution getting better, then worse, then much worse, then better... → “and then NAPOLEONICALLY worse” — Wordplay, John — God and Grain: The French Revolution, Part I (2010-11-05, 00:05:06)
  • Viewers who flipped ten heads think they have a magical coin to take to Vegas. → “there's nothing special about your coin and there's nothing special about you.” — Absurd, Hank — Probability 101 (2010-11-08, 00:00:49)
  • First word problem: every cigarette carries a one-in-five chance of being killed by a terrorist. → “you have a 40% chance of being devoured by a tank of venomous piranhas.” — Absurd, Hank — Probability 101 (2010-11-08, 00:05:43)
  • For those who thought they'd avoid the pill problem by drinking the whole bottle: you died of antidote overdose. → “You're DEAD and YOU CAN'T CHEAT YOUR WAY OUT OF WORD PROBLEMS.” — Absurd, Hank — Probability 101 (2010-11-08, 00:07:07)
  • The royals sneak out in disguise; if you've read a Shakespeare play you know what happens next: → “the ruse is discovered, and everyone lives happily ever after.” — Absurd, John — Headless Monarchy: The French Revolution, Part II (2010-11-10, 00:01:23)
  • Enlightenment reasoning demands the same humane death for everyone. → “because of course rationally we don't want to hurt condemned criminals we just want to kill them.” — Satire, John — Headless Monarchy: The French Revolution, Part II (2010-11-10, 00:05:13)
  • John introduces the Committee of Public Safety. → “We suck at protecting public safety” — Satire, John — REIGN OF TERROR: The French Revolution, Part III (2010-11-11, 00:00:46)
  • The Directory stole elections and bungled the economy... → “but didn't cut off sixteen thousand people's heads, so... bonus points for them.” — Absurd, John — REIGN OF TERROR: The French Revolution, Part III (2010-11-11, 00:03:05)
  • Hank names his red blood cell Arby, after biochem shorthand RBC. → “we're calling him Arby not because he was created from the meat of a roast beef sandwich” — Wordplay, Hank — Blood!!! (2010-11-12, 00:00:29)
  • Hank ranks hemoglobin's skill at bonding oxygen: the Clash of punk rock, the Cristiano Ronaldo of soccer. → “If it was being delicious, hemoglobin would be corndogs.” — Absurd, Hank — Blood!!! (2010-11-12, 00:01:27)
  • John explains a newspaper to Hank as the internet, only not updated, not interactive, printed on thin trees and not free. → “It's a wonder these guys are having trouble staying in business.” — Absurd, John — Hey! You! Fix the Budget! (2010-11-15, 00:00:00)
  • John compares the federal budget to his own: there are things he would like to do but cannot. → “Like, for instance, purchase this dress. Instead, I have to Photoshop myself into it.” — Visual gag, John — Hey! You! Fix the Budget! (2010-11-15, 00:02:26)
  • Curled up with Twilight in his darkest nights, Hank wonders about Edward. → “Avada Kedavra the undead Cause Edward Carter totally has it coming” — Absurd, Hank — HARRY POTTER SONG! (2010-11-17, 00:02:39)
  • Hank says he and Voldemort would both hate Edward, and turns to Hogwarts ghost Sir Nicholas. → “Mimsy Porpington is a character name that by itself is better than anything in Breaking Dawn” — Absurd, Hank — HARRY POTTER SONG! (2010-11-17, 00:03:02)
  • After a sleeping pill fails on his overnight flight, John films himself delirious in the airplane bathroom. → “I'm like a tranquilized elephant. I will not go down. I'm not going down.” — Self-deprecation, John — I'm Not Going Down: Thoughts from Amsterdam (2010-11-19, 00:00:32)
  • Hank suggests the first person to bond with a horse might have been a young woman. → “because everyone knows that young boys don't get obsessed with ponies. Ever. No.” — Satire, Hank — Thoughts from Places: On a Horse (2010-11-22, 00:01:56)
  • Pigeons get distressingly close, and one craps on John's coat. → “because I am smart, I wiped it off with my hand.” — Self-deprecation, John — Babies and Catacombs: VIENNA (Thoughts from Places) (2010-11-24, 00:01:00)
  • John's camcorder is confiscated by security at the Albertina's Kentridge show. → “The next 40 minutes of my footage is just this.” — Visual gag, John — Babies and Catacombs: VIENNA (Thoughts from Places) (2010-11-24, 00:01:29)
  • Horrified by a recording of tortoise mating, John phones Tommy Lee Jones. → “I'm gonna need that magic wand you used in the film Men in Black 'cause I need to un-remember something.” — Absurd, John — Giant Tortoise Coitus (2010-11-29, 00:00:23)
  • John says tortoises have a lot in common with the male characters on Jersey Shore. → “They don't have jobs, they're huge without being technically overweight” — Satire, John — Giant Tortoise Coitus (2010-11-29, 00:00:51)
  • Eight months after the foot-biting courtship, the eggs hatch. → “Who will grow up alone in a terrifying world where this passes for love.” — Absurd, John — Giant Tortoise Coitus (2010-11-29, 00:02:39)
  • John says the brothers will let Nerdfighteria challenge 'us' to do something horrible. → “And when he says 'us'...I think he just means 'him'.” — Absurd, John and Hank — John and Hank: The Out-Takes (2010-11-29, 00:01:52)

2010-12

  • After dolphins and barnacles, the song turns to the anglerfish, whose male fuses to the female. → “And the male anglerfish gets completely screwed Proving sometimes sex sucks even for the dude” — Wordplay, Hank — Makin' Babies: A Song (2010-12-01, 00:01:10)
  • Frustrated that his book draft is still unfinished in December, John explodes. → “I'm a giant squid of anger!” — Callback, John — Giant Squids OF LOVE (2010-12-03, 00:00:20)
  • John says he has read so much about giant squid sex in the last 48 hours that he is surprised... → “hotel still lets me have internet” — Self-deprecation, John — Giant Squids OF LOVE (2010-12-03, 00:01:28)
  • Hank explains why 'I slit the sheet' is his favourite tongue twister. → “people always end up shitting on the slitted sheet” — Wordplay, Hank — Tongue Twisters (2010-12-07, 00:01:57)
  • After a kid's euphemism of 'completing' zombies, the narrator describes killing Marcos Marcos. → “I completed his head all over the dining room credenza of that fancy townhouse” — Absurd, John — My Zombie Apocalypse Novella (2010-12-08, 00:02:11)
  • John says his zombie novella will never be published, and not because he dislikes zombie novellas. → “mine is BAD. That's by far the best page of it” — Self-deprecation, John — My Zombie Apocalypse Novella (2010-12-08, 00:03:08)
  • On his D.C. walk Hank points out monuments of 'monumental people'. → “the giant temple to Pescandruscus, the Zoroastrian god of penetration” — Absurd, Hank — Project for Awesome and Thoughts from DC (2010-12-10, 00:02:23)
  • After chatting with the squirrel ambassador, Hank offers a little-known fact. → “the squirrels will only approach humans for two things: food and to be on Youtube” — Absurd, Hank — Project for Awesome and Thoughts from DC (2010-12-10, 00:02:53)
  • John tries to describe what Anna and the French Kiss is like. → “is like Maureen Johnson and I had a baby, a French baby” — Absurd, John — 8 Things I Love (2010-12-13, 00:00:34)
  • John says he has listened to Charlie's song on repeat 621 times. → “This raises the alarming possibility that I might technically be a fangirl” — Self-deprecation, John — 8 Things I Love (2010-12-13, 00:01:55)
  • Right after singing that love hurts worse than fire and makes you want to tear down a building with bare hands, Hank adds a disclaimer. → “And I'm obviously not a big fan of hyperbole.” — Absurd, Hank — Adult Female: A Song (2010-12-15, 00:02:06)
  • Hank vows to be with her until the end of time, with one condition. → “as long as time ends before one of us dies” — Absurd, Hank — Adult Female: A Song (2010-12-15, 00:02:23)
  • A Nerdfighter's Final Jeopardy! answer 'Who is John Green?' leads Alex Trebek to utter what John calls immortal words. → “John Green? That's gonna cost ya.” — Absurd, John — I Was on Jeopardy!!!! (2010-12-22, 00:01:21)
  • Hank thought the cheese cutter from his mom was an instrument that said a prayer every time he hit it. → “It's like a Tibetan prayer cheese cutter.” — Wordplay, Hank — To: You - - From: The Vlogbrothers (2010-12-27, 00:01:56)
  • At a gas stop the family lets baby Henry 'drive' the car for a while. → “despite Henry's abundant charms, he is not terribly attentive behind the wheel.” — Visual gag, John — Baby on the Road: Thoughts from Places (2010-12-29, 00:01:57)
  • Answering the autocomplete 'is my dog gay?', Hank revises his answer twice. → “actually your dog is probably omni-sexual.” — Absurd, Hank — Is Lady Gaga a Man? (2010-12-31, 00:01:35)
  • After seeing what the world asks about John, Hank types his own name and swears at the empty result. → “No one cares about what Hank Green is.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Is Lady Gaga a Man? (2010-12-31, 00:02:09)