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Best jokes of 2015

All 81 jokes rated strength 3 (the top of the 1–3 scale) in 2015 videos, in upload order: the setup (paraphrase), then the punchline as said, the kind of joke and who tells it.

Kinds this year: Absurd 46, Self-deprecation 10, Wordplay 13, Satire 5, Callback 5, Visual gag 1, Comic / parody song 1.

← Humor overview · 2007 · 2008 · 2009 · 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016 · 2017 · 2018 · 2019 · 2020 · 2021 · 2022 · 2023 · 2024 · 2025 · 2026

2015-01

  • Under 'Dirty Dancing', Hank contrasts a horizontal pole: that's gymnastics. → “If the pole is vertical, that's stripping.” — Absurd, Hank — Why is The Alphabet In Alphabetical Order? Eight Completely Arbitrary Things (2015-01-02, 00:02:07)
  • John imagines a Nerdfighter's parents calling Nerdfighteria a strange cult that sponsors fourth-tier English soccer teams. → “They're also trying to genetically engineer puppy-sized elephants.” — Callback, John — The Best Worst Thing (2015-01-04, 00:02:26)
  • After translating the 4,000-year-old joke that a young lady never farted in her new husband's lap, Hank weighs whether it still holds. → “my guess is that's happened.” — Absurd, Hank — 14 Fart Facts for my Flatulent Friends (2015-01-09, 00:02:56)
  • John makes Hank's hole-in-one count as two taps because he is the big brother. → “I may not be better than you, Hank, but I am able to change the rules midstream.” — Self-deprecation, John — REUNION MINIGOLF (2015-01-20, 00:00:27)
  • John asks Hank his favorite flightless bird. → “You're my favorite brother.” — Absurd, John — REUNION MINIGOLF (2015-01-20, 00:00:36)
  • Asked their favourite One Direction member, the brothers name the police officer and the construction worker of the Village People. → “YMCA. It's fun to stay at the YMCA.” — Absurd, John — REUNION MINIGOLF (2015-01-20, 00:02:06)
  • Stuck in a White House bathroom unable to find the light switch before the interview, Hank adds a sponsor line. → “This presidential interview brought to you by Imodium AD.” — Absurd, Hank — Interviewing the President (2015-01-23, 00:02:13)
  • Obama thanks Hank for having him; Hank says he can't be hosting him in his own house, and Obama calls it the people's house. → “I'm actually leasing, and my lease runs out in two years.” — Absurd, Hank — Interviewing the President (2015-01-23, 00:02:53)

2015-02

  • Asked why none of the main characters in his books have siblings, John explains. → “It's just my little way of letting Hank know that in my narrative imagination, he does not exist.” — Absurd, John — Beards, Birds, and the Paper Towns Release Date: Question Tuesday! (2015-02-03, 00:00:18)
  • A viewer voice keeps pressing whether John is really writing a new book, louder each time. → “Uh, I'm just gonna level with you. That's not helping!” — Absurd, John — Beards, Birds, and the Paper Towns Release Date: Question Tuesday! (2015-02-03, 00:01:35)
  • A movie-theater worker told John she had a huge crush on Hank; John turns to Hank. → “you think it's hard for me, Hank, imagine what it's like for Dave Green.” — Callback, John — Beards, Birds, and the Paper Towns Release Date: Question Tuesday! (2015-02-03, 00:02:34)
  • For 'Draw my life', Hank shrinks himself from Montana to the known universe, then shows the drawing. → “I drew it.” — Absurd, Hank — Draw My Life + 16 Other Suggestions (2015-02-13, 00:03:21)
  • On the Paper Towns set, John asks director Jake Schreier why a scene is happening, is told it's in the book, and asks how the book is anyway. → “I hear there is a little bit too much Walt Whitman.” — Absurd, John — Places I've Never Been (2015-02-17, 00:01:02)
  • To check whether the quote is in Paper Towns, John needs a searchable copy of his own book. → “I illegally downloaded a pirated copy of my own novel” — Self-deprecation, John — Places I've Never Been (2015-02-17, 00:01:38)
  • John reads his favourite 2006 fan letter about Looking for Alaska, which says it made the reader feel something. → “Not the two main things I feel: the urges to defecate and vomit, but something new.” — Absurd, John — Who I Was in High School (2015-02-24, 00:00:36)
  • John asks how you become the third-best C student in Alabama at academic decathlon. → “First by getting terrible grades so you're not an A or B student.” — Self-deprecation, John — Who I Was in High School (2015-02-24, 00:01:51)

2015-03

2015-04

  • Asked how many fish there are if there are two dogs and one cat, Hank answers literally. → “As far as I can tell, the number of dogs and cats has no bearing on the number of fish.” — Absurd, Hank — Snap Questions: On the Set of Titansgrave! (2015-04-03, 00:02:53)
  • His son says he wants to marry Mommy after Despicable Me 2; John lays down the law, recalling The Croods. → “Maybe you can date a Neanderthal, but you are not marrying Mommy, because that would be both bigamy and incest.” — Absurd, John — John Reviews Kids Movies (2015-04-07, 00:02:10)
  • After explaining that Grover Cleveland personally hanged two murderers as sheriff, Hank addresses him. → “Grover Cleveland, very Ned Stark of you.” — Absurd, Hank — This Video Makes No Sense (2015-04-10, 00:03:16)
  • Hank ends his Snapchat squash recipe by addressing the vegetable. → “Thank you, butternut squash, for your life, and I'm going to consume your flesh.” — Absurd, Hank — This Video Makes No Sense (2015-04-10, 00:03:54)
  • John defends taking a bath instead of a quicker shower: showers are an uncivilized attack from above. → “Plus there's the indignity of not being able to eat while getting clean.” — Absurd, John — A Long Good Day (2015-04-14, 00:00:45)
  • After Ferris Bueller's on-screen parents married in real life and had children, Hank judges their naming. → “Also they had kids and they didn't name any of them Ferris, which is unacceptable.” — Absurd, Hank — 7 Weirdest Marriages (or Lack Thereof) From an Airport (2015-04-17, 00:01:55)
  • Unsure whether to say 'gay-la' or 'gah-la', John uses both pronunciations at once. → “the word so fancy, they named it twice.” — Wordplay, John — A Stunning Turn of Events (2015-04-21, 00:01:17)
  • Off the Time 100 list this year, John no longer has to explain himself to members like Rand Paul. → “When people ask who I am, I'll just be like "I'm Rand Paul's date."” — Absurd, John — A Stunning Turn of Events (2015-04-21, 00:01:54)
  • The pheasant plucker insists on how pleasant his work is, the refrain built to make listeners mishear a swear. → “A pleasant mother pheasant plucker like me say the F-word” — Wordplay, Hank — Mother Pheasant Plucker - A Song (2015-04-24, 00:01:00)

2015-05

2015-06

2015-07

2015-08

  • Asked whether he is writing another book, John ignores the question and shows off the Lego Wookiee gunship instead. → “You know another awesome thing about this wookie gun ship it opens up, it's got like a cargo bay inside of it.” — Absurd, John — Question Tuesday: Wookiee Gunships, Sneezing Cessation, and Pizza (2015-08-04, 00:00:52)
  • A viewer's question begins 'Apart from pizza, what do you think is the best...'; John cuts it off in mock outrage. → “No, no, no, there is no "apart from pizza."” — Absurd, John — Question Tuesday: Wookiee Gunships, Sneezing Cessation, and Pizza (2015-08-04, 00:01:05)
  • John imagines a baby conceived tonight, born into the world for the first time while the campaign is still running. → “it will cry, presumably over the state of American political discourse.” — Absurd, John — 454 Days: Understanding America's Ridiculous Political Campaigns (2015-08-11, 00:00:16)
  • Explaining why Kennedy couldn't have won under the old system, John searches for a delicate way to say it. → “Catholic.” — Satire, John — 454 Days: Understanding America's Ridiculous Political Campaigns (2015-08-11, 00:02:00)
  • John fears the Census hair question will start a brotherly escalation in pursuit of Nerdfighteria's 'pileous support'. → “we'll have an ever escalating arms race, like the US and the Soviets did in the 1980s, only with hair instead of nuclear weapons.” — Absurd, John — The Cold War of Nerdfighteria (2015-08-18, 00:01:53)
  • Promising never to run a negative campaign, John lists what he would never say about Hank's hair. → “Hank has the haircut of a young Republican and the face of a de-mustachioed Leon Trotsky.” — Satire, John — The Cold War of Nerdfighteria (2015-08-18, 00:03:04)
  • Asked how they'd split seven goats, John insists he gets four; Hank offers him all seven. → “Wait, I've rethought my answer. I would like to give you the seven goats.” — Absurd, John and Hank — Question Tuesday: The Goat Edition (2015-08-25, 00:03:02)
  • John distinguishes the goaticorn (a goat with a unicorn horn) from the unigoat (a unicorn with a goat head). → “Or as I like to call it, a horse.” — Wordplay, John and Hank — Question Tuesday: The Goat Edition (2015-08-25, 00:03:18)

2015-09

  • John calls DFTBA the five most important letters in his life, then a voice-over correction follows. → “Update: Just realized that both of my children have five-letter names, so I would like to amend my previous statement.” — Absurd, John — John Gets a Tattoo (2015-09-15, 00:01:46)
  • After SciShow's excitement over water on Mars, John asks what exciting thing nobody has been psyched about lately. → “Flowing water on Earth!” — Absurd, John — Writing, Walling, Racing, and Wizard Schooling (2015-09-29, 00:01:19)
  • Touring his wall of in-joke objects, John reflects that it seems weird to anyone who has not watched every Vlogbrothers video. → “but then it occurred to me that it also seems weird if you have.” — Self-deprecation, John — Writing, Walling, Racing, and Wizard Schooling (2015-09-29, 00:01:57)

2015-10

  • After the clerk's remarks about an interracial couple, Hank just wants to buy his brown liquor and go. → “take it home so that I can drink it faster than I normally would have now that I've had this interaction.” — Absurd, Hank — Awkward Stranger Conversations (2015-10-02, 00:01:35)
  • Hank promises a Taco Bell worker he'll reply 'you too' to her 'enjoy your meal' so she can feel better about her 'good morning'. → “she didn't say "Enjoy your meal", so I couldn't do the thing, which I thought was gonna be super funny.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Awkward Stranger Conversations (2015-10-02, 00:02:39)
  • For meeting a boyfriend's German-speaking mother, John offers the German title of his own novel, then a second useful sentence. → “Ihr Sohn ist ein guter Küsser.” — Absurd, John — Question Tuesday: My Social Media Hiatus, My Excellent German, and Books! (2015-10-06, 00:00:13)
  • Asked whether he would manage Liverpool, John cites taking AFC Wimbledon from League 2 to the Champions League in FIFA 14. → “having an inside track on one of the world's best youth players, Henry Green.” — Absurd, John — Question Tuesday: My Social Media Hiatus, My Excellent German, and Books! (2015-10-06, 00:02:21)
  • John would rather be a sheep, so when people ask where he got his sweater he can answer. → “"Oh, I knit it myself, using my own hair."” — Absurd, John — Question Tuesday: My Social Media Hiatus, My Excellent German, and Books! (2015-10-06, 00:02:53)
  • Asked for his best advice for travelling with children, John answers in three words. → “When possible, don't.” — Absurd, John — Question Tuesday: My Social Media Hiatus, My Excellent German, and Books! (2015-10-06, 00:03:12)
  • Maggie won the race, but John caught fire. → “I caught fire and didn't get hurt, which felt very much like, you know, some kind of winning.” — Absurd, John — John Green's Fiery Race Car Disaster (2015-10-13, 00:02:24)
  • Hank introduces his computer Greg and chats to it about its cooling noise. → “Greg's a hot, he's a hottie.” — Absurd, Hank — Post-NerdCon Haze (2015-10-16, 00:01:35)
  • Right after praising local bookstores, Hank tells viewers to think of them next time they're on Amazon. → “or I'm on Amazon buying cat litter.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Post-NerdCon Haze (2015-10-16, 00:02:20)
  • Having explained that the Vlogbrothers imposed an arbitrary four-minute limit, Hank finally reaches his point. → “despite the fact that I only just got to the point, I have to end this video” — Callback, Hank — Post-NerdCon Haze (2015-10-16, 00:03:45)
  • A Republican legislator called Daniel one of the smartest people he'd met, only he said a curse word instead of 'people'. → “Daniel is also one of the smartest curse words I've ever met” — Wordplay, John — Nerdfighteria's Resident Comptroller? (2015-10-20, 00:01:26)

2015-11

  • Explaining why Hartlepudlians condemned the shipwrecked monkey as a spy. → “have never seen either a French person or a monkey so they naturally assume that this monkey is a French spy.” — Absurd, John — Monkey Hangers (2015-11-03, 00:01:42)
  • Drawing the first lesson from a monkey mascot whose wearer promised free bananas. → “The first is embrace your history even if it's bananas.” — Wordplay, John — Monkey Hangers (2015-11-03, 00:02:53)
  • Since a commenter and Hank finally like his beard, John says it can only mean one thing and shaves it off with "movie magic". → “It's a Pizzamas miracle, Hank, my moustache is back!” — Visual gag, John — It's a Pizzamas Miracle! (Pizzamas Day 2) (2015-11-10, 00:00:27)
  • John name-drops his get-well orchid from Bill Gates at a dinner party, until Sarah quietly corrects him. → “Bill Gates's orchid died. We got this orchid at Trader Joe's.” — Self-deprecation, John — It's a Pizzamas Miracle! (Pizzamas Day 2) (2015-11-10, 00:01:59)
  • P.S.: John's daughter Alice asks what is on his face; he says a moustache and she repeats it as "mustask". → “I actually already made that joke.” — Callback, John — It's a Pizzamas Miracle! (Pizzamas Day 2) (2015-11-10, 00:03:04)
  • Asked if he knows more dad jokes, John says he is one: every time he puts away the dishes he says it. → “Tupperware, tupperware, tupper-here!” — Wordplay, John — Cheez Doodles Guy, Ringo Silver, and Dad Jokes (Pizzamas Day 4) (2015-11-12, 00:01:22)
  • Asked how to deal with the death of a cactus, John says things will get easier with time, but for a while... → “you're gonna feel a little prickly.” — Wordplay, John — Cheez Doodles Guy, Ringo Silver, and Dad Jokes (Pizzamas Day 4) (2015-11-12, 00:03:25)
  • After insisting no one knows what dinosaurs sounded like, John squawks an impression anyway and names the species. → “That was a diplodocus.” — Absurd, John and Hank — SUIT UP! A Very Fancy Reunion Video (Pizzamas Day 8) (2015-11-18, 00:01:13)
  • After John's 'go team' over extinctions and Hank's asteroid comparison, John jokes about humanity's performance. → “We are killing it.” — Wordplay, John and Hank — SUIT UP! A Very Fancy Reunion Video (Pizzamas Day 8) (2015-11-18, 00:03:04)

2015-12

  • Hank presents explaining the 2008 financial crisis as the hip new YouTube challenge he is super interested in. → “It's called the "Explain the 2008 Financial Crisis in Less Than Sixty Seconds" Challenge,” — Satire, Hank — The Explain The 2008 Financial Crisis CHALLENGE! (and 7 other challenges) (2015-12-04, 00:00:05)
  • Hank issues a solemn content warning about human mortality, then pitches the video to those who want doom. → “and indeed universal oblivion sounds like your cup of tea...Proceed.” — Absurd, Hank — We're All Gonna Die - A Song (2015-12-18, 00:00:17)