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Best jokes of 2025

All 49 jokes rated strength 3 (the top of the 1–3 scale) in 2025 videos, in upload order: the setup (paraphrase), then the punchline as said, the kind of joke and who tells it.

Kinds this year: Absurd 19, Self-deprecation 16, Wordplay 4, Satire 1, Callback 5, Running bit 4.

← Humor overview · 2007 · 2008 · 2009 · 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016 · 2017 · 2018 · 2019 · 2020 · 2021 · 2022 · 2023 · 2024 · 2025 · 2026

2025-01

  • Asked whether the Pillsbury Doughboy eating a cookie would make him a cannibal. → “Yes, but it would also make all of us monsters.” — Absurd, Hank — My 2025 Bingo Card (2025-01-03, 00:04:00)
  • John brags about an unusual injury from his signing marathon. → “I think that I experienced the first ever signing related ankle injury last week” — Self-deprecation, John — The Format but it hurts to stand up (2025-01-07, 00:00:17)
  • Hank long had no Wikipedia page; on the talk page of his proposed one, somebody wrote → “just because you have a notable brother doesn't mean you're notable” — Callback, John — So I Bought My Team a Pro Football Player (2025-01-14, 00:01:27)
  • John hopes Marcus will get Wimbledon promoted so he can live his dearest dream → “becoming the sponsor of a third-tier English football team” — Self-deprecation, John — So I Bought My Team a Pro Football Player (2025-01-14, 00:03:24)
  • Hank recalls the P4A tagline about a dangerous day to get paid. → “But another one is, make responsible financial decisions.” — Callback, Hank — How the P4A is Changing in 2025! (2025-01-17, 00:03:46)

2025-03

  • Listing Hank's million-dollar ideas, John includes one that inverts the whole point of 3D film. → “He's figured out a way to render 3D movies in a crisp two dimensions.” — Absurd, John — Hank Green's Brother (2025-03-11, 00:00:45)
  • After a building series of uh-ohs, John lets out a huge sneeze. → “That is not normal. What just happened to me is never normal.” — Callback, John — Hank Green's Brother (2025-03-11, 00:02:40)
  • Hank ranks the Book of Kells only second in Dublin, and reveals number one is John's new book. → “but of course number one i also recently went to see a new book called everything is tuberculosis by john green” — Absurd, Hank — The Second Most Important Book in Dublin (2025-03-21, 00:00:29)

2025-04

  • Hank reveals one group of islands on the tariff list has no people. → “It is populated entirely by penguins.” — Absurd, Hank — How Actually Crazy is This Mess? (2025-04-11, 00:02:32)
  • Navarro's invented economist Ron Vara is an anagram of Navarro. → “But naming him like you're a teenage Lord Voldemort is S-tier crazy.” — Absurd, Hank — How Actually Crazy is This Mess? (2025-04-11, 00:07:48)
  • Hank refuses to feed his free-floating anxiety his fear about being bad at keeping track of earbuds. → “Stay hungry and starve, jerk.” — Absurd, Hank — I Still Don't Have Cancer (and I'm Still Scared) (2025-04-18, 00:05:48)
  • Thanking a repeat buyer, Hank asks to look up where she lives and names the habit. → “Just a little recreational doxing is what we call it.” — Absurd, Hank — This one's for your mom (2025-04-18, 00:19:48)
  • Chat tells Hank the picture he thought was Ariel is Ariel's mother. → “They could have done a little bit more character development work on her. I feel like that is, that is just Ariel.” — Absurd, Hank — This one's for your mom (2025-04-18, 00:41:03)

2025-05

  • Hank asks who to blame for Spain's late meals and wrong time zone. → “And can you guess what you can blame for this? That's right, fascism.” — Satire, Hank — I Found the Dumbest Time Zone (2025-05-02, 00:03:04)

2025-06

  • Hank says he doesn't do impostor syndrome; instead he has a superior syndrome. → “It's called ha-ha-ha, I fooled them again syndrome” — Self-deprecation, Hank — The Secret Inside my MIT Commencement Speech (2025-06-06, 00:02:52)
  • Hank begins thanking the graduates, then expresses his thanks with bone facts. → “The average human skeleton has more than 25,000 calories.” — Absurd, Hank — The Secret Inside my MIT Commencement Speech (2025-06-06, 00:04:12)
  • After listing the world's crises, Hank says he would want advice, but he is just a TikToker. → “I am a TikToker who will now and forever be known as the first person to say the word butthole during an MIT commencement speech.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — The Secret Inside my MIT Commencement Speech (2025-06-06, 00:08:00)

2025-07

  • Asked why he won't ride horses, John fears merging with the animal like a male anglerfish. → “I worry that I might become a centaur.” — Absurd, John — LLAMAS Are NOT What You Think (2025-07-15, 00:02:06)
  • John says Hank is threading a needle with his claim that all butts are legs. → “let's keep needles away from butts” — Running bit, John — LLAMAS Are NOT What You Think (2025-07-15, 00:03:34)
  • Hank reveals that their brother Dave is actually a fish and describes him. → “he's a man-sized largemouth bass with consciousness yeah who manages a wendy's” — Absurd, John — LLAMAS Are NOT What You Think (2025-07-15, 00:07:16)
  • After his TB fact about pale beauty standards, John asks Alice a question. → “Are you tired of hearing Dad talk about TB? Yeah. Okay, fair enough.” — Self-deprecation, John — Dad and Daughter Play Dress to Impress (2025-07-29, 00:08:52)
  • Alice already knew the blush fact; John points out she hasn't read his TB book. → “But you haven't read my book. I've heard your book.” — Self-deprecation, John — Dad and Daughter Play Dress to Impress (2025-07-29, 00:10:10)

2025-08

  • Thanked by fans for Crash Course, John credits the team behind the teleprompter → “Stan and Meredith and Zuleyha got you through high school. I was Ron Burgundy.” — Self-deprecation, John — ONE TAKE JOHNNY (2025-08-05, 00:10:57)
  • Hank stops before naming old writing someone could look up → “I used to be a different person and not a better one.” — Self-deprecation, John — ONE TAKE JOHNNY (2025-08-05, 00:13:36)
  • After calling the club the charity version of Savage X Fenty, the brothers sort out who is Rihanna and who Paul Newman → “I'm totally the Paul Newman of Rihannas more than I am the Rihanna of Paul Newman.” — Wordplay, Hank — I'm Glad I Ignored That Billionaire (2025-08-08, 00:02:59)
  • John buys the John Bean in-app purchase to support Hank's app and looks at it → “John Bean is a 70-year-old bean, Hank.” — Self-deprecation, John — The Problem with My Brother's Hit New App (2025-08-19, 00:02:40)
  • A small boy learning colours tells John he has gray hair → “No, I don't, Sammy! Respectfully, what the hell is wrong with you?” — Self-deprecation, John — The Problem with My Brother's Hit New App (2025-08-19, 00:03:09)
  • John complains Hank's text lacked a third exclamation point. → “which everyone knows is how you really communicate enthusiasm in the year of our Lord 2025 with such extensive exclamation point related inflation.” — Absurd, John — Not to Criticize Hank… (2025-08-26, 00:02:55)

2025-09

  • Hank asks which plant the caffeine in sodas comes from. → “that's right the chemical plant” — Wordplay, Hank — Caffeine is Very… (2025-09-05, 00:05:18)
  • Mid-explanation, the over-caffeinated Hank notices his own state. → “I'm sweaty. Jeez. What? Am I on drugs right now?” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Caffeine is Very… (2025-09-05, 00:05:41)
  • Rejecting tea's chill vibes, John says he would live in the 18th century and watch wheat grow if he wanted those; this is 2025. → “I need a frickin' rocket ship.” — Absurd, John — Sorry, Hank, but Coffee Is Just Better (2025-09-09, 00:02:26)
  • John recites a line of poetry about growing old, then apologizes to Hank. → “Sorry, that was poetry. I know you can't, uh, I know you can't hear poetry.” — Callback, John — Sorry, Hank, but Coffee Is Just Better (2025-09-09, 00:03:24)
  • John has been making videos for nearly half his life. → “as you can tell from looking at my face or listening to my voice, it has not been a short life.” — Self-deprecation, John — After seven long years… (2025-09-16, 00:01:27)
  • After insisting he never asks for it, John announces he will say something he has not said in years. → “Please like and subscribe” — Running bit, John — After seven long years… (2025-09-16, 00:04:22)
  • The texted YouTuber refuses to pick a brother → “Hey, I can't play favorite, so I'll respond.” — Absurd, John and Hank — Let's Just Be Stupid For a Moment (2025-09-19, 00:02:16)
  • Why the brothers want to show their whole chess game → “For people who don't like chess, it's boring. And for people who do like chess, it's infuriating.” — Absurd, John and Hank — Let's Just Be Stupid For a Moment (2025-09-19, 00:03:31)
  • After the tie, John blames the game no one won → “If only I'd won at chess.” — Self-deprecation, John — Let's Just Be Stupid For a Moment (2025-09-19, 00:08:17)
  • John explains why he grew no pizza mustache this year. → “I just kind of made a call to stay married.” — Self-deprecation, John — PIZZAMAS IS UPON US! (2025-09-29, 00:01:03)
  • John unveils a backpack charm of his face. → “It's not a labubu, Hank. It's a pizza John Nunu.” — Wordplay, John — PIZZAMAS IS UPON US! (2025-09-29, 00:03:18)

2025-11

2025-12

  • Agreeing that something is better than nothing, John extends the ranking. → “something is better than nothing nothing is worse than a chameleon” — Wordplay, John — The Meaning of Life with Hank and John (2025-12-02, 00:07:09)
  • Passing over Crash Course and Complexly, John picks C for Hank's greatest cultural contribution. → “let's make it for Hank's most profound contribution to our culture, Crabulous.” — Absurd, John — Hank Green, from A to Z (2025-12-09, 00:00:29)
  • John notes Hank is not on Tumblr nearly as much as John is. → “Then again, no healthy person is.” — Self-deprecation, John — Hank Green, from A to Z (2025-12-09, 00:00:58)
  • Read It First was supposed to fund itself through affiliate sales, but never did. → “because most of Hank Green's million dollar ideas are in fact single digit dollar ideas.” — Running bit, John — Hank Green, from A to Z (2025-12-09, 00:03:53)
  • Having found no Z project, John gives Hank an assignment. → “In short, Hank, your next project better start with a dang Z.” — Running bit, John — Hank Green, from A to Z (2025-12-09, 00:05:50)
  • John says whatever Hank achieves, headlines will always frame him as John's brother. → “the Fault in Our Stars author John Green's younger brother wins Nobel Peace Prize” — Absurd, John — John Green's Brother (2025-12-16, 00:00:29)
  • Book banners assume John a pornographer, though his novel was about radical hope and living with guilt. → “which are important themes but not like notoriously hot ones” — Self-deprecation, John — John Green's Brother (2025-12-16, 00:01:27)