Best jokes of 2007

All 325 jokes rated strength 3 (the top of the 1–3 scale) in 2007 videos, in upload order: the setup (paraphrase), then the punchline as said, the kind of joke and who tells it.

Kinds this year: Absurd 167, Self-deprecation 51, Wordplay 47, Satire 23, Callback 14, Running bit 15, Visual gag 5, Comic / parody song 3.

← Humor overview · 2007 · 2008 · 2009 · 2010 · 2011 · 2012 · 2013 · 2014 · 2015 · 2016 · 2017 · 2018 · 2019 · 2020 · 2021 · 2022 · 2023 · 2024 · 2025 · 2026

2007-01

John's wife Sarah does not want to appear in the documentary. → “Sarah is like the Yeti.” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 2nd (2007-01-02, 00:00:37)
People think the brothers look like the twin rock duo The Proclaimers. → “Which is admittedly better than people thinking that we look like the twin rock duo, Nelson.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 3rd (2007-01-03, 00:00:54)
Hank's list of differences turns into a confession about spilling beer on his wife's MacBook and hiding it. → “Sorry, honey.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 3rd (2007-01-03, 00:01:56)
John admits he did not vote in 2000 although he could have voted in Florida. → “Ah, George Bush, it's all my fault! God, I'm so stupid!” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: Eating Toilet Paper (2007-01-04, 00:00:40)
Hank says the only thing he knows about Nepal is that there may be... → “Rocks? And that's only really because there are rocks everywhere.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 5th (2007-01-05, 00:01:56)
John says drinking Sutter Home when challenged to drink Strawberry Hill... → “is like slow dancing with Teddy Ruxpin when you've been challenged to wrestle a grizzly bear” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 8, 2007 (2007-01-08, 00:00:10)
After claiming Strawberry Hill is made of strawberries, John says 'just kidding'. → “It's made out of apple wine, malt, red dye, and the fires of hell.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 8, 2007 (2007-01-08, 00:00:10)
John says he can pay Al Gore $96 directly to take care of his carbon, and explains how Gore does it. → “He eats the carbon, and then when he poops it out, it's actually political gold.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 10, 2007 (2007-01-10, 00:02:18)
Hank says he met a tiny chicken in Detroit that he doesn't remember, but they must have had an encounter. → “this tiny chicken has laid tiny eggs in my head” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 11th (2007-01-11, 00:00:00)
The tiny eggs hatch and the chicks do everything baby chickens do. → “They're eating my brain and their poop is coming out my nose.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 11th (2007-01-11, 00:00:38)
After suggesting Hank wallpaper every room in his dollhouse, John notes the consequence. → “Everybody thinks you have a dollhouse now.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 12, 2007 (2007-01-12, 00:00:14)
Hank has to ask the bookstore clerk aloud for 'We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families'. → “And she said, that's catchy.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 15th (2007-01-15, 00:01:05)
Since the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42, Hank deduces the ultimate question. → “So the question must be, how many Happy Dance clips does it take to fill up a Brotherhood 2.0 segment?” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 15th (2007-01-15, 00:03:02)
John explains why he computed 70 happy-dance clips instead of 42. → “I incorrectly believed, and indeed have always believed, that each minute contains 100 seconds.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 16, 2007 (2007-01-16, 00:00:12)
John psyches himself up for a big day of 2,000 words, chanting it four times. → “Okay, I'm gonna go back to bed.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 16, 2007 (2007-01-16, 00:03:04)
John insists three times he will definitely finish by Wednesday, then immediately moves the deadline again. → “Next Friday by the very latest.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 18, 2007 (2007-01-18, 00:01:00)
At Barnes & Noble, Hank checks who is on the young adult romance shelf and sings. → “Lady, lady, lady, lady, lady, lady, lady, lady, John Green.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 19th (2007-01-19, 00:03:07)
Having found John's book among the romance titles, Hank reassures him. → “There's nothing wrong with that. That's great. It's great. You're among giants.” — Satire, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 19th (2007-01-19, 00:03:07)
Signing off, Hank says 'Catherines in your pants' is nice, disclaiming an abundance of them. → “But one catherine in my pants is quite nice.” — Running bit, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 23rd (2007-01-23, 00:02:54)
John admits he didn't vote in 2000 though he could have in Florida. → “Ah, George Bush, it's all my fault! God, I'm so stupid!” — Self-deprecation, John — Week 1 Condensed! (2007-01-23, 00:03:34)
Adding 'in your pants' to the title The Sun Also Rises. → “which is actually what The Sun Also Rises is about.” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 24, 2007 (2007-01-24, 00:01:46)
John's addendum: the funniest variant of 'Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone' is… → “From your pants.” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 24, 2007 (2007-01-24, 00:03:00)
Holding up a Kraft single, Hank insists it isn't cheese and shakes it. → “cheese doesn't wobble like this, holy crap.” — Visual gag, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 25th (2007-01-25, 00:02:49)
Asked what ambrosia tastes like, John lists foods Weight Watchers forbids him. → “regular frickin' ice cream instead of like ice cream that's made out of air and human hope.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 26, 2007 (2007-01-26, 00:01:16)
Unsure what his instantly successful store would sell, John names it anyway. → “it would definitely be called the blind assassin in your pants” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 26, 2007 (2007-01-26, 00:02:29)
John on paying Al Gore to offset his carbon. → “He eats the carbon, and then when he poops it out, it's actually political gold.” — Absurd, John and Hank — Week 2 Condensed Highlight Reel (2007-01-27, 00:03:25)
Hank, Katherine and friends sing an old song's title line with the 'from your pants' suffix, over and over. → “Will you miss me when I'm gone from your pants?” — Comic / parody song, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 29th (2007-01-29, 00:01:17)
A commenter says they feel kind of bad for John having to follow Hank's videos. → “Jesus, Anonymous, try being John!” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 30, 2007 (2007-01-30, 00:00:53)
John raises 'a serious issue, the issue of everyone poops' for Hank and viewers. → “Which is funnier? Everyone poops in my pants? or Everyone Poops in Your Pants.” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: January 30, 2007 (2007-01-30, 00:01:22)
Hank explains that bulldog figures, the University of Georgia mascot, cover the town of Athens. → “and I cover their bulldogs with myself.” — Wordplay, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 31st (2007-01-31, 00:00:00)
Explaining why 'Everyone Poops in My Pants' is a sad story and 'in Your Pants' a funny one. → “funny stories about poop aren't as funny as sad stories about poop.” — Running bit, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: January 31st (2007-01-31, 00:02:41)

2007-02

Choosing Sweden in the 'Nerd Fighters' arcade game, John becomes a Viking nerd killer. → “Now I shall kill nerds.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0, February 1, 2007 (2007-02-01, 00:00:54)
Hank apologizes to all Orlandans upset by his comments that Orlando sucks. → “Actually, no one seemed upset at all.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 2nd (2007-02-02, 00:01:45)
Bleeding from the first pull, John explains why he will try waxing once more. → “Because I'm a hard worker, and I believe in the project, and I believe in Brotherhood 2.0” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0, February 5, 2007 (2007-02-05, 00:01:47)
After the second pull John shows his bleeding chin to the camera and addresses Hank. → “See all the blood, you bastard?” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0, February 5, 2007 (2007-02-05, 00:02:15)
For the alternative punishment John compares his two-point popcorn with 13-point mint chocolate chip ice cream. → “I'm going to watch the mint chocolate chip melt while I eat my crappy popcorn.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0, February 5, 2007 (2007-02-05, 00:02:15)
Hank imagines hiding a baby somewhere in John's small apartment as a daily game for Sarah. → “And she has to search through the entire apartment, trying to find where you hid the baby.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 6th (2007-02-06, 00:02:07)
Hank asks John to tell him baby news right away, as he always shares such things. → “Just like the time you called me five or six minutes after you lost your virginity.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 6th (2007-02-06, 00:02:48)
Each morning dozens of people surround Hank's house and chant. → “What do we want to poop in? Hank's pants! When do we want to poop in them? Now!” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 7, 2007 (2007-02-07, 00:00:10)
The narrator concedes that not everyone has pooped in his pants. → “And many babies haven't pooped in my pants because they're too busy pooping in their own.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 7, 2007 (2007-02-07, 00:00:42)
George W. Bush failed to poop in the pants, pooped near them and then denied ever intending to. → “Having seen his poop, I can report that it looks exactly like bullshit.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 7, 2007 (2007-02-07, 00:01:37)
Hank computes a 0.53% chance that someone died within sight of him at the banjo event. → “While that's not a very big number, it is probably the biggest that number has ever been in my life.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 8th (2007-02-08, 00:02:44)
After the long death-probability calculation, Hank sums up. → “So, now you know how bored I am.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 8th (2007-02-08, 00:03:31)
After correcting Hank's death math, John gives the real key to seeing someone die at a banjo concert. → “The key is to go to longer banjo concerts, like 13-year-long banjo concerts.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 9, 2007 (2007-02-09, 00:01:09)
Among the lies about what Paper Towns is about, John lists a lesson about eating your diet points. → “even though sometimes you eat the exact number of points you're supposed to eat, you still don't get less fat” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 9, 2007 (2007-02-09, 00:01:52)
John recreates a TV delay interview; the interviewee says 'they suck' and is asked to put the question back into the answer. → “Um, all these delays of my flight suck.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 13, 2007 (2007-02-13, 00:01:03)
John explains that you never want anyone to die in a death pool, but if people have to die… → “they might as well be members of Al Qaeda.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 13, 2007 (2007-02-13, 00:01:32)
Hank's etymology ends with Valen bringing Earth the message of his 'pinnacle', raising the birth rate. → “Happy Valen's penis day!” — Wordplay, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 14th (2007-02-14, 00:01:22)
Hank asks whether John knew he would end up drinking the whole bottle. → “How is there only that much left?” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 14th (2007-02-14, 00:02:45)
John answers the popular side's Bush and Tom Brady with ever more famous nerds, poker style. → “and all four Beatles. We win!” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 17, 2007 (2007-02-15, 00:01:39)
John defends the sci-fi show his friends liked. → “I mean, they're not real friends. I just know them on the Internet.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 17, 2007 (2007-02-15, 00:02:33)
Asked what's wrong with the world, Hank answers with a play on John's novel title. → “An underabundance of Catherines.” — Wordplay, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 16th (2007-02-16, 00:03:04)
Hank wonders who Tom is; a viewer clip shows Tom introducing himself as the brothers' never-mentioned third brother. → “I have a degree in chemical engineering and a wife and some kids. Surprise!” — Running bit, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: February 20th: Computer Trouble (2007-02-20, 00:01:48)
In the thought experiment his fourth-grade girlfriend edits his brain-Wikipedia so 'the Yeti' becomes a hairy Himalayan monster. → “Well, I don't want to be married to a huge, hairy, terrifying, horrible monster, particularly not a possibly fictional one.” — Callback, John — February 21st, 2007: The Wikipedia in Your Mind (2007-02-21, 00:01:45)
Expert-only editing, John says, is the start of every dystopian novel: the trusted experts form the Revolutionary Council… → “and then all of a sudden you're in Iran, and they're developing nuclear weapons.” — Absurd, John — February 21st, 2007: The Wikipedia in Your Mind (2007-02-21, 00:02:34)
Asked whether authors mind not being paid when library readers borrow their books, Maureen Johnson reverses the problem. → “I put a $20 bill in the copy of all my books, and so the first person who reads it gets the $20.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 23, 2007: Books (2007-02-23, 00:01:47)
Asked to guess what besides hair Hank had removed from his head, pupil Susie offers her family history. → “When my mama came out of jail, she had almost all her teeth taken out.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: Earwax (2007-02-26, 00:01:02)
After singing Blossom's 'in my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine', John asks if the song means the sun will shine eventually. → “Because that's not just your opinionation. That's also a reasonable assumption.” — Wordplay, John — Brotherhood 2.0: February 27, 2007: Horseradish Challenge (2007-02-27, 00:01:04)
Each morning dozens of people surround Hank's house and chant. → “What do we want to poop in? Hank's pants! When do we want to poop in them? Now!” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: Everyone Poops in my Pants, a Picture Book (2007-02-28, 00:00:04)
The narrator concedes that not everyone has pooped in his pants. → “And many babies haven't pooped in my pants because they're too busy pooping in their own.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: Everyone Poops in my Pants, a Picture Book (2007-02-28, 00:00:43)
George W. Bush failed to poop in the pants, pooped near them and then denied ever intending to. → “Having seen his poop, I can report that it looks exactly like bullshit.” — Satire, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: Everyone Poops in my Pants, a Picture Book (2007-02-28, 00:01:46)

2007-03

To raise the vlog's sophistication John begins reading all of Ulysses aloud, 30 seconds at a time, and gets one sentence in. → “Okay, that's boring.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 1, 2007: Sophistication. And balls. (2007-03-01, 00:01:22)
John insists the plan for Hank to build the world's largest ball of earwax is realistic. → “Believe me, Hank, this is practical. I'm a connoisseur of the world's largest balls.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 1, 2007: Sophistication. And balls. (2007-03-01, 00:01:49)
Hank answers John's 'Being Hank for a day' song with his own version about John. → “I live in New York and buy expensive jeans. I'm loved and adored by half-dozens of teens.” — Comic / parody song, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: March 2nd: Politics and Butt Explosions (2007-03-02, 00:02:22)
Peeps will cost Hank about $19, which John ranks against an earlier chin-waxing punishment. → “which I realize will be significantly more painful than waxing your chin” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 5, 2007: Hank's Punishment (2007-03-05, 00:01:14)
Hank stresses that something very significant on a worldwide scale happened in Rwanda, mid-Peep. → “Unlike eating Peeps.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: Peeps and Genocide (2007-03-06, 00:01:40)
The eye doctor told John he probably has nothing to worry about. → “If I probably have nothing to worry about, then I definitely have something to worry about.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 7, 2007: Stress (2007-03-07, 00:00:36)
After wishing his stress came from calling into question the ideology of class, John names his real sources. → “I'm just stressed out because I have to do laundry. And I might have eyeball cancer.” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 7, 2007: Stress (2007-03-07, 00:02:20)
Asked how he feels after 12 Peeps. → “I feel like I have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, like, fighting the Ghostbusters in my stomach.” — Absurd, Hank — Brotherhood 2.0: Giving Away Peeps (2007-03-08, 00:03:17)
Thin eaters need not fear the wall of fat, but John is not thin yet. → “I'm still a heavyweight, according to the International Boxing Federation.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 9, 2007: Peeptastic! (2007-03-09, 00:01:43)
John vomits off camera after the Peeps. → “I had what is known in competitive eating circles as a reversal of fortune.” — Wordplay, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 9, 2007: Peeptastic! (2007-03-09, 00:02:11)
After comparing John's, Hank's and Kurt's Peeps counts. → “Scientific conclusion? It's not possible to eat more than 12...” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 9, 2007: Peeptastic! (2007-03-09, 00:02:11)
John plays the arcade games at ESPN Zone. → “ESPN Zone might not be the fastest way to spend $10, but it's the fastest way I've ever encountered.” — Wordplay, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 13, 2007: Denver (2007-03-13, 00:01:02)
Hank tells the Yahoo people he did research on them before the call. → “People at Yahoo don't Google. People at Yahoo would rather you not Google. People at Yahoo, Yahoo.” — Wordplay, Hank — March 14: Becoming a NerdFighter (2007-03-14, 00:01:17)
The lyric's closing boast plays on the card company's name. → “I'm a wizard of the coast and I rarely shower.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — March 14: Becoming a NerdFighter (2007-03-14, 00:02:21)
Claiming Brotherhood 2.0 is educational, John draws the lesson of the float test for someone lost at sea. → “you should cling to the peeps and let the nerds go.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 15: Decreasing Suck (2007-03-15, 00:01:26)
John says that is why he is grateful for the people running the country. → “so many people in the American government are true and awesome nerdfighters. Oh. Wait.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 15: Decreasing Suck (2007-03-15, 00:02:45)
Explaining why no one is more important to Brotherhood 2.0 than their mom: 'I mean, we both came...' → “out of her. And I really and truly want to thank her for that.” — Absurd, Hank — March 16th: Mom, ZeFrank, and Stock Options (2007-03-16, 00:01:59)
Hank says he can think of four guys Katherine has crushes on, then lists them. → “Wait, was that five?” — Absurd, Hank — March 20th: Dancing and the Idiocy of Age (2007-03-20, 00:00:58)
The song's only safety instruction for putting stuff on your head. → “The only rule of thumb is don't use a plastic bag.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 21st: Put Stuff on Your Head (2007-03-21, 00:01:24)
Hank says he is a big fan of the 'excess golden parachute payments' category. → “This year I didn't have any excess golden parachute payments.” — Absurd, Hank — March 28th: Taxes (2007-03-28, 00:00:40)
John explains that all you need is a fishing boat and someone to give you proceeds for it. → “I'm not good at taxes.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: March 29th: JUDGMENT FOR HANK (2007-03-29, 00:01:08)
Joel opens a beer with an elk antler after curling and drinking beer. → “I really don't think that you can get much more manly than that.” — Absurd, Hank — March 30th: Manliness! (2007-03-30, 00:01:18)

2007-04

Showing Hank New York's answer to Montana's wilderness, John describes what he and the Yeti found in the Ramble. → “when we came across, you guessed it, porn.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 2nd: Punishments in the Ramble (2007-04-02, 00:00:10)
The fifth humiliation punishment for Hank. → “Visit your local GM dealer and test drive a Hummer.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 2nd: Punishments in the Ramble (2007-04-02, 00:02:13)
John films himself sitting and looking at his computer. → “See, it's a non-stop thrill ride.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 2: A Day in the Writer's Life (2007-04-04, 00:00:56)
Signing off, John looks at the zit on his face again. → “It's not even a zit so much as it's a character flaw.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 2: A Day in the Writer's Life (2007-04-04, 00:03:03)
Hank's long-haired, slight-framed college roommate is eating Marmite on toast when Hank walks in. → “Oh my, look, it's Catherine.” — Absurd, Hank — April 5th: Embarrassing Moment Sock Puppet Theater (2007-04-05, 00:00:57)
Meeting his girlfriend's mother for the first time, Hank slides on his knees down the grocery aisle to surprise Catherine. → “But instead, I ran into her mom.” — Absurd, Hank — April 5th: Embarrassing Moment Sock Puppet Theater (2007-04-05, 00:02:05)
On a teenage date, Hank's puppet self woos his girlfriend with a compliment. → “I have never dated a more beautiful person than you and I never will until I meet Catherine.” — Absurd, Hank — April 5th: Embarrassing Moment Sock Puppet Theater (2007-04-05, 00:02:31)
His mom arrives at 2 a.m. to pick up Hank, who wore black lipstick on his date, after he ran out of gas. → “It looks like you're wearing makeup.” — Absurd, Hank — April 5th: Embarrassing Moment Sock Puppet Theater (2007-04-05, 00:03:34)
Listing things that never take every eighth week off. → “Does Dick Cheney take every eighth week off from intentionally misleading the American people about the relationship between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda?” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 6: Nerdfighters Never Surrender (2007-04-06, 00:00:56)
John claims the Geto Boys once said something about nerdfighters. → “real gangster-ass nerdfighters don't run from nothing, because real gangster-ass nerdfighters can't run fast.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 6: Nerdfighters Never Surrender (2007-04-06, 00:01:37)
After his mock-heroic refusal of any time off, John sets out the Nerdfighters' fighting schedule. → “We will stand and fight all year long, except for weekends and occasional holidays.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 6: Nerdfighters Never Surrender (2007-04-06, 00:01:37)
John admits he liked The Cure and wore eyeliner in 9th grade. → “But I had the good sense never to let myself be photographed.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 6: Nerdfighters Never Surrender (2007-04-06, 00:03:07)
Why John stopped reading PerezHilton.com. → “It started to make my brain go gooey, and then the goo tried to come out of my eye.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 10th: Role Models (2007-04-10, 00:01:16)
Teenagers ask John his opinion of drunk driving. → “Who the hell isn't opposed to drunk driving? Drunk drivers and jerks!” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 10th: Role Models (2007-04-10, 00:02:00)
John reads the Hanes tag on his new Nerdfighter shirt: 80% cotton, → “10% polyester, and 10% awesome.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of Traveling Shirts (2007-04-16, 00:01:37)
John says Illinois is the 49th state in terms of education. → “Thank God for Mississippi!” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of Traveling Shirts (2007-04-16, 00:02:49)
John, cutting his carbon for a week, reacts to learning that reducing one's footprint meant eating unheated food. → “In that case, I'm not reducing my carbon footprint at all.” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 18th: Prom and Consequences (2007-04-18, 00:00:57)
John explains he doesn't love New York because car alarms go off while a man tries to sleep in his brand-new seersucker suit → “at the ungodly hour of 1025 in the morning” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 18th: Prom and Consequences (2007-04-18, 00:01:40)
John puts the vlog's 942 pounds of carbon emissions into perspective with a magazine statistic. → “there have only been 21 people in all of human history who weighed more than Brotherhood 2.0's carbon emissions.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: Carbon Neutralizing Youtube (2007-04-20, 00:02:33)
Hank assures the Yeti and Katherine that the brothers don't have free pass lists. → “Except maybe Helen Hunt.” — Absurd, Hank — April 23rd: Celebrity (2007-04-23, 00:03:04)
John can't believe Hank put the older Helen Hunt on his celebrity list. → “Hank, I'd just like to remind you that cougar hunting is not legal in the United States.” — Wordplay, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 24: Moving (2007-04-24, 00:00:10)
John worries he will miss New York when he moves to Indianapolis. → “Although if you think about it, Indianapolis is like the New York of Indiana.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 24: Moving (2007-04-24, 00:01:29)
Hank's song lists Helen Hunt films: he saw her naked in The Waterdance. → “It was as good as it gets in my pants” — Wordplay, Hank — Helen Hunt (2007-04-25, 00:01:21)
An ex-best friend called Helen Hunt old and ugly. → “looking down at him bleeding in the snow, I asked him who was best comedy actress four years in a row.” — Absurd, Hank — Helen Hunt (2007-04-25, 00:01:56)
John recalls the thrill in eighth grade of discovering people might like you. → “It seems to me that everyone in Los Angeles is stuck in 8th grade.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 26: Hollywood Meetings (2007-04-26, 00:00:59)
John consults Madam Seymour's crystal ball about Hank's love for Helen Hunt. → “My crystal ball says highly doubtful.” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 26: Hollywood Meetings (2007-04-26, 00:02:38)
John boasts about his shaky secret footage of the LA Times Book Prizes, imagining a prize for the best bootleg recording of them. → “I am definitely going to win.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 30: Hellos from Los Angeles (2007-04-30, 00:01:02)
After asking what's funnier than dogs in New York ('Dogs in Los Angeles'), John shows a dressed-up Chihuahua. → “It's a Chihuahua that seems to be married to a 19th century plantation owner.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: April 30: Hellos from Los Angeles (2007-04-30, 00:02:41)

2007-05

Hank's comic song about Helena, Montana lists the town's industries. → “Golden cows and chopping trees. These are the industries of Helena, Montana.” — Comic / parody song, Hank — May 1st: Neil Gaiman in Helena (2007-05-01, 00:02:26)
Announcing the banned book's title, John resists, then gives in to the 'in your pants' game. → “I don't want to do it. In your pants!” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 2: Book Banning (2007-05-02, 00:00:52)
John describes the proposed Brotherhood 2.0 calendar. → “It would be exactly like a regular calendar, except without weekends, and also the date would always be wrong.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 8th: House Hunters (2007-05-08, 00:00:10)
John demonstrates the puff he does when stressed. → “the puff level has a direct correlation to the stress level” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 8th: House Hunters (2007-05-08, 00:02:10)
John explains putting an offer on a house as passing it a note. → “do you like us back? Please check one, yes, no, maybe.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 10: House Hunted? (2007-05-10, 00:01:04)
Hank imagines Spider-Man's powers in Missoula's low skyline. → “Swing from the seven-story building to the six-story building and then I could swing back.” — Absurd, Hank — May 11th: Heroes (2007-05-11, 00:02:25)
John reads a fake Wikipedia plot for his novel about an actor experimenting with homosexuality. → “that sounds like a fairly good book, but it doesn't sound like the book I wrote.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 14: The Evil Baby Orphanage (2007-05-14, 00:01:41)
John is outraged that Wikipedia has no entry on Hank. → “Wikipedia has never even tried to fathom the inky blue depths of Hank Green's genius.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 14: The Evil Baby Orphanage (2007-05-14, 00:02:10)
Hank asks the Nerdfighters nicely for permission to use the Evil Baby Orphanage and threatens that next time will be different. → “Next time won't be so nice. I'll be groveling at your feet, begging and pleading” — Absurd, Hank — May 15th: A Bit More EBO and Wikipedia (2007-05-15, 00:01:27)
John describes typing into an IM window addressed to Hank's screen name without sending, to obey the no-text rule. → “Hey, I just told everyone what your screen name is!” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 16: Beating the EBO into the ground (2007-05-16, 00:01:39)
Hank cites Wikipedia's own article to settle how to pronounce Wikipedia. → “And if Wikipedia is right about anything, it's right about itself.” — Absurd, Hank — May 17th: Wikeeeeeepedia...and Happy Birthday Katherine (2007-05-17, 00:02:02)
John admits Hank has the facts on pronouncing Wikipedia but insists he is still right. → “I may not have facts on my side, Hank, but I still think I'm right. That's the American way.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 18: How to Write a Book Proposal (2007-05-18, 00:00:43)
John has Sarah say Wikipedia his way in a robot voice to match Hank's evidence. → “See? Girl robot voice saying Wikipedia. Checkmate.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 18: How to Write a Book Proposal (2007-05-18, 00:01:28)
John reads an ungrammatical vandal edit calling the brothers gay and corrects its grammar. → “if you're gonna vandalize Wikipedia, you should do it with some reverence for the English language.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 18: How to Write a Book Proposal (2007-05-18, 00:01:58)
After reading mean Gizmodo comments, Hank decides the commenters must be jealous of him. → “They're jealous and they don't understand my craft. They're not ready for me yet.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — May 21st: Comment Bashing, Anniversaries and EBO Ladies (2007-05-21, 00:01:36)
John sums up Amsterdam as the model of great cities 50 years from now: efficient, sustainable... → “It's efficient, sustainable, and mostly underwater.” — Absurd, John — May 22: Brotherhood 2.0 in Amsterdam (2007-05-22, 00:01:49)
John and the Yeti talk constantly about moving to Amsterdam, but John keeps defending home. → “Indianapolis is truly the Amsterdam of central Indiana” — Absurd, John — May 22: Brotherhood 2.0 in Amsterdam (2007-05-22, 00:01:49)
Hank sings that nothing will stop John achieving his one unmatchable dream with Sarah. → “He wants two entire miniature soccer teams from you.” — Absurd, Hank — May 23rd: Miniature Soccer Team (2007-05-23, 00:00:39)
Hank sums up what Sarah actually signed up for when she married John. → “What you've sworn to John Green is a baby making machine.” — Absurd, Hank — May 23rd: Miniature Soccer Team (2007-05-23, 00:01:43)
John tries a bitterbal with mustard and describes the taste. → “It tastes like if you took meat and flour and hope and you fried it.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 24: How to Happy Dance (2007-05-24, 00:01:20)
John does his happy dance outside the restaurant for his Dutch publisher. → “The police stopped because I think they were trying to figure out if that was illegal.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 24: How to Happy Dance (2007-05-24, 00:02:22)
John adds 'in your pants' to the title of a goth-scene guide and asks which goth scene is meant. → “it's gonna be really awkward to have large armies massacring each other in my pants.” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 29: The Goth Scene and Evil Ladies (2007-05-29, 00:01:08)
The Yeti answers Hank's song warning that John wants two miniature soccer teams of children. → “there's only so much one Yeti's womb can do, and that number is two.” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 29: The Goth Scene and Evil Ladies (2007-05-29, 00:02:44)
The poem says their kids needn't play soccer or be numerous to win their hearts. → “the team they'll make is two-man luge.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: May 29: The Goth Scene and Evil Ladies (2007-05-29, 00:03:11)

2007-06

Hank expects John to be angry about the car news and hands the telling to a recording of himself. → “I'll let yesterday self tell you about that so you can be angry at him instead of me.” — Absurd, Hank — June 1: Barack Saabama (2007-06-01, 00:01:58)
After yesterday's Hank shows off the cash from the sale, today's Hank takes John's side. → “Man, that guy is such a jerk. He totally sold the Saab.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — June 1: Barack Saabama (2007-06-01, 00:03:13)
Answering John's forum challenge with a challenge of his own, knowing John is in the middle of moving. → “I challenge you to move to Indianapolis, because right now I don't think you need anything else on your plate.” — Absurd, Hank — June 1: Barack Saabama (2007-06-01, 00:03:42)
Everyone was excited about the first marriage between Brotherhood 2.0 viewers, John says, citing the clergy present. → “the Catholic Church was so excited that they sent, like, 14 priests to officiate.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 4th: The First Nerdfighter Wedding! (2007-06-04, 00:01:03)
John shows Phyllis and Blake cutting the cake at the reception. → “you can't see Phyllis because she happens to be the same height and wearing the same color as the cake itself.” — Visual gag, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 4th: The First Nerdfighter Wedding! (2007-06-04, 00:02:31)
John builds up to what weddings are truly about, beyond cake, pot roast and cardinals, at every wedding he has seen. → “They're about how cute it is when kids dance.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 4th: The First Nerdfighter Wedding! (2007-06-04, 00:03:26)
Hank imagines how viewers will react when his global-warming interview interrupts the Weather Channel. → “Stupid! There's always something on! I just want to know what the weather is! This stupid kid's talking!” — Absurd, Hank — Jun 5th: S-S-S-Somethin From the Forum (2007-06-05, 00:01:37)
Hank explains how discussions will continue in the forum he has named My Pants. → “you're not sure if the discussion is going to happen in your pants, or if you're discussing John McCain in my pants” — Wordplay, Hank — Jun 5th: S-S-S-Somethin From the Forum (2007-06-05, 00:02:06)
John concedes showing more skin might help their YouTube views, but suggests another way to the top. → “making sure that a picture of Lindsay Lohan in a bikini is your still shot.” — Satire, John — June 6th: Lindsay Lohan's Bikini and My Pants (2007-06-06, 00:01:06)
John explains why he is recording in his boxer shorts, now that the forum is called My Pants. → “the reason that I'm in my boxer shorts is because my pants are full of people!” — Wordplay, John — June 6th: Lindsay Lohan's Bikini and My Pants (2007-06-06, 00:01:06)
Hank describes the forum 'My Pants' filling with over 300 users overnight. → “At first I was worried my pants had gotten too big for its britches.” — Wordplay, Hank — June 7: Weather and My Pants (2007-06-07, 00:01:46)
John says he doesn't want to be like a new mother, constantly showing Hank pictures of the house. → “but here are some pictures of it.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 8: Studying the Clues (2007-06-08, 00:01:16)
Sitting beside his brother on the beach, Hank gives the usual daily sign-off. → “John, I will see you in a couple of minutes.” — Callback, John and Hank — June 11: SURPRISE (2007-06-11, 00:01:41)
John invites Hank to go fishing in the ocean. → “alright, but only if I get to sleep on the boat.” — Absurd, John — June 12th: Hank Green "In the Wild" (2007-06-12, 00:01:07)
After the chain of people moving to ever-better countries ends at the US, Hank adds one more step. → “the people of the United States have been saying a lot of really nice things about the Netherlands lately” — Satire, Hank — June 13: Dominican Debacles (2007-06-13, 00:02:38)
Defending miniature donkey polo as humane, John cites a children's classic. → “Getting ridden by Christopher Robin was the only thing that ever made Eeyore happy.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 14: Good News/Bad News (2007-06-14, 00:01:17)
Talking to strangers about their t-shirts is fun, unless the shirt forbids it. → “Don't talk to me about my t-shirt or I will put forks in you.” — Absurd, Hank — June 19: GOOD LUCK JOHN (2007-06-19, 00:02:10)
In New York John could hardly contribute to the global water crisis, but watering his new Indianapolis lawn makes it easy. → “The worldwide water shortage crisis is all my fault.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 20: Moving (2007-06-20, 00:01:15)
John reports that a featured video drew lots of comments from YouTubers. → “YouTubers are smart. No, they aren't.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 20: Moving (2007-06-20, 00:01:41)
Arguing against green lawns, Hank turns to the brothers' surname. → “Maybe somebody needs green lawns, but it's not the Green Brothers.” — Wordplay, Hank — June 21: Gotta Get Outside! (2007-06-21, 00:02:48)
Hair shows political position, so John told the barber what he wanted. → “I wanted a cut that was somewhere between the Willie Nelson on the far left.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 22: The Senator (2007-06-22, 00:01:13)
John explains why his cut should stop at Bill Clinton in the center. → “I'm a liberal, but I'm not, you know, like a pot-smoking, tax-evading liberal.” — Satire, John — Brotherhood 2.0: June 22: The Senator (2007-06-22, 00:01:57)
After all the dancing Hank feels something going on in his pants and checks. → “It's spam! Well, thank God there's not any more spam in my pants.” — Wordplay, Hank — June 27: Good Morning John, it's Wednesday (2007-06-27, 00:02:11)
Librarians call John Hank Green's brother; he protests that he also writes books. → “right, but you're Hank Green's brother!!” — Self-deprecation, John — June 26: The American Library Association Parties (2007-06-27, 00:02:02)
In his Printz speech John counters the shy-librarian stereotype with a librarian passed out drunk in a New Orleans casino, a spilled drink in one hand. → “and a galley of a promising first novel in the other.” — Absurd, John — June 26: The American Library Association Parties (2007-06-27, 00:02:57)

2007-07

John concludes his call to promote everyone and recruit Kiva lenders by quoting the law of compound nerdfighting. → “The more there are of us, the fewer there will be of them.” — Wordplay, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 2nd: The Law of Compound Nerdfighting (2007-07-02, 00:03:06)
After suggesting post-colonial theory be discussed in the forum 'my pants', John imagines how non-nerdfighters react. → “Why is that guy talking about post-colonial theory in his pants?” — Running bit, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 2nd: The Law of Compound Nerdfighting (2007-07-02, 00:03:27)
John lists the few people who should own explosives: people in demolition, the Army… → “The Army, and of course, Wile E. Coyote.” — Absurd, John — July 5th: The Regions Bank Freedom Blast (2007-07-05, 00:00:55)
John sums up the Fourth of July in Indianapolis. → “Last night, we celebrated our independence by having a pretend war that was sponsored by a bank. Welcome to America.” — Satire, John — July 5th: The Regions Bank Freedom Blast (2007-07-05, 00:03:01)
Hank's attempt to video-chat John ends in an instant-message exchange that breaks their no-text rule. → “John, we are very stupid.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — July 6: Ooooooops (2007-07-06, 00:02:59)
Gloating that Hank has broken the no-text rule, John types his gloat into the chat window himself. → “And so I said, dude, you are so punished. And then I hit return.” — Self-deprecation, John — July 9: The Punishment Fiasco (2007-07-09, 00:01:22)
Hank wanted matching punishments: a mohawk for him and an inverse mohawk for John. → “so together we would have one normal haircut.” — Absurd, Hank — July 10: Embarassing Photographs (2007-07-10, 00:00:34)
John explains academic decathlon's A, B and C tiers to show what his medals really mean. → “Basically, what those medals mean is that I was the third best C student in the state of Alabama.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: Harry and the Potters are Nerdfighters! (2007-07-11, 00:01:17)
John argues humans built inside to escape outside, so going camping is dismissive to your ancestors. → “Let's face it, Hank, Nanny and Pawpaw worked hard their whole lives so that we could live inside.” — Absurd, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 13: Outside (2007-07-13, 00:00:39)
John explains why his punishment dance needs the perfect song. → “if you're gonna be a shirtless, surprisingly fat guy recreating the look of a shirtless, amazingly skinny guy, you need a great song.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 13: Outside (2007-07-13, 00:02:07)
Doing his makeup on the living-room floor, hoping his lady doesn't walk in, Hank admits he's a weird guy and sings. → “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.” — Absurd, Hank — July 16: Goth (2007-07-16, 00:02:46)
John admits the belt for his huge pants is probably a girl belt, then remembers what Hank just did in his punishment. → “I mean, you just wore lipstick.” — Callback, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 17: Topless Dancer (2007-07-17, 00:00:40)
John tries on a pair of glasses to recreate the picture. → “These make me look like the bastard child of Harry Potter and Harry Carey.” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 17: Topless Dancer (2007-07-17, 00:01:45)
Mid-dance, John reflects on who is really suffering. → “Really, Hank, is this a punishment for me or for the audience?” — Self-deprecation, John — Brotherhood 2.0: July 17: Topless Dancer (2007-07-17, 00:02:25)
Hank measures his devotion to the series. → “I couldn't care more about Harry Potter if Hogwarts was my alma matter” — Wordplay, Hank — July 18: Accio Deathly Hallows (no spoilers) (2007-07-18, 00:02:53)
John imagines his New York writer friends having fancy lunches without him. → “This room echoes. Echo, echo. I'm lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely.” — Self-deprecation, John — July 19: A Day in the Life of a Writer (Who Has No Friends) (2007-07-19, 00:00:56)
Writing looks the same whether it goes well or badly. → “That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing.” — Absurd, John — July 19: A Day in the Life of a Writer (Who Has No Friends) (2007-07-19, 00:01:32)
Hank's office chair keeps spinning while he sits on it. → “And I think that maybe I might have discovered some kind of perpetual motion machine.” — Absurd, Hank — July 20: Green Mohawk (2007-07-20, 00:00:40)
John reports what the town of Sandwich, Illinois, lacked. → “The one thing we couldn't find in Sandwich, Illinois, and this was a bit of a surprise to me, a sandwich.” — Wordplay, John — July 23rd: The Tickling of the Innards (2007-07-23, 00:01:03)
Hank gives an example of the kind of question for question days. → “Like, if you were a crayon, what color would you most like to make out with?” — Absurd, Hank — July 24: More Harry Potter?! (2007-07-24, 00:02:05)
A commenter whose screen name says he is cool tells John to get a life, nerd. → “Did 656 people before you have the screen name NigelIsCool?” — Absurd, John — July 25: Brotherhood 2.0's Youtube Comments Are Answered! (2007-07-25, 00:00:50)
A commenter says Harry Potter doesn't care about him because Harry isn't real; John questions who is real online. → “Maybe Harry Potter's real and you're not.” — Absurd, John — July 25: Brotherhood 2.0's Youtube Comments Are Answered! (2007-07-25, 00:03:00)
Hank thanks the commenters who leave nice comments and those who leave links to porn sites. → “Oh, where would I find porn if it weren't for my YouTube comments?” — Absurd, Hank — Re: July 18: Accio Deathly Hallows (2007-07-25, 00:00:08)
Half the commenters seem to call Hank gay and half want to have his babies; he notes the irony. → “But in either case, your wife is upset!” — Absurd, Hank — July 26: The Price of Fame (2007-07-26, 00:02:22)
Touring his shelves, John notes a wicker basket placed between the Islam and Christianity sections. → “You have to separate them with the wicker basket so they don't get mad at each other” — Absurd, John — July 27: How Nerdfighters Drop Insults (2007-07-27, 00:03:00)
The library tour ends on one last, very specific collection. → “my collection of first editions of books that are about conjoined twins.” — Absurd, John — July 27: How Nerdfighters Drop Insults (2007-07-27, 00:03:30)
Hank reads the forgotten lyrics he found, not knowing their tune. → “If I could, I would eat you, like a five-year-old eats glue.” — Absurd, Hank — July 30: Mystery Lyrics and Paying Rent (2007-07-30, 00:02:28)
John suggests a name for a wizard rock band Hank might start, crediting Maureen. → “you definitely should call the wizard rock band Tonks for the Memories.” — Wordplay, John — July 31: HP, Secret Siblings, and Books (2007-07-31, 00:00:31)
John applies the 'in your pants' rule to the title The Golden Rule. → “obviously do unto others' pants as you would have them do unto your pants.” — Running bit, John — July 31: HP, Secret Siblings, and Books (2007-07-31, 00:01:52)
John backs a protest song urging ninjas and pirates to end their endless cycle of violence. → “ninjas and pirates are like the Sunnis and Shias of hypothetical reality.” — Absurd, John — July 31: HP, Secret Siblings, and Books (2007-07-31, 00:02:50)

2007-08

After citing a UN figure of 11,000 heat deaths a year, Hank casts the sun as hunting him. → “but the burning sun, it wants 11,001, but it's not gonna get me, you hear?” — Absurd, Hank — August 1: It's Too Hot (2007-08-01, 00:01:56)
Hank does a funny dance in the song and explains why. → “cause I went and got some ice cubes and I put them in my pants” — Visual gag, Hank — August 1: It's Too Hot (2007-08-01, 00:02:25)
The college friend who stuck his tongue into a box fan for about $8 finishes screaming. → “give me my eight dollar, guys” — Absurd, John — August 2nd: Airports and Box Fans (2007-08-02, 00:01:49)
Hank performs the ritual sounds and moves of buying something. → “Ding, ding, ding, pass, pass, take, take, pass, take, take, shunk” — Absurd, Hank — August 3: The Retail Dance (2007-08-03, 00:01:57)
Hank imagines the clerk's reaction if he thanked her too warmly for the free cheeseburger. → “Oh, I shouldn't have given that guy a free cheeseburger. Now he wants to do me.” — Absurd, Hank — August 3: The Retail Dance (2007-08-03, 00:02:27)
John keeps repeating the tier phrase 'wax a limb of your choice'. → “Waxing a limb of your choice is one of those phrases that isn't dirty, but sure seems dirty the more you say it.” — Wordplay, John — August 6th: JK Rowling and I Will ... Be Punished (2007-08-06, 00:03:01)
The 500-donor tier of the punishment menu. → “I will spend 16 hours straight without pause inside the Walmart next to my house.” — Absurd, John — August 6th: JK Rowling and I Will ... Be Punished (2007-08-06, 00:03:01)
Hank gets stuck repeating 'while breaking the...'. → “And now you all know that I stutter a lot and cut probably 90% of what I record in a day.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — August 7th: Curd Fighter Nurt (2007-08-07, 00:01:41)
Biss is second on ActBlue only to 'a guy called John Edwards', a presidential candidate. → “Mmm, I feel like I've heard his name.” — Satire, Hank — August 7th: Curd Fighter Nurt (2007-08-07, 00:01:41)
John concedes one could argue he isn't a great husband. → “although I did just mow the lawn! And that is one husbandly duty.” — Self-deprecation, John — August 8th: The Lawn and the Fury (2007-08-08, 00:02:17)
John claims American TV has more murders in a week than the Netherlands has in a year. → “I made that statistic up, but I bet it's true.” — Satire, John — August 8th: The Lawn and the Fury (2007-08-08, 00:02:55)
After 'lynch a trillion', Hank anagrams Hillary Clinton's full name, then muses whether it refers to the Chinese or her China policy. → “Hillary Rodham Clinton anagrams to China. A mild, horny troll.” — Wordplay, Hank — August 9th: Anagramming Guide to the 2008 Elections (2007-08-09, 00:02:01)
Hank saves his favourite anagram for last. → “Poor Joe Biden. I NEED JOB!” — Wordplay, Hank — August 9th: Anagramming Guide to the 2008 Elections (2007-08-09, 00:03:29)
John voices the bears, angry at being decorated as cute little guys on swings. → “My claws could tear out your heart. I like to eat berries. Lots of berries.” — Absurd, John — August 10th: Bears!!!! (2007-08-10, 00:01:11)
Hank says the fair always lives up to his expectations. → “Especially because mostly my expectations are that there will be fried food.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — August 13: The Fair!!!! (2007-08-13, 00:02:28)
John looks at the Happy Meal after blending it. → “Like all the best parts of food plus all the best parts of liquid.” — Absurd, John — August 14th: The Blenderized Happy Meal (and Leg Waxing) (2007-08-14, 00:01:30)
Sarah predicted the waxing would be a five out of ten; John rips the first strip. → “That was not a five. That is not a five!” — Callback, John — August 14th: The Blenderized Happy Meal (and Leg Waxing) (2007-08-14, 00:03:21)
Thanking Indianapolis Nerdfighters, John describes his backup plan of asking to look at a kitten at PetSmart. → “And then they'd give it to me, and I'd be like, and then I'd run.” — Absurd, John — August 16th: Finding — and Licking — a Cat (2007-08-16, 00:02:38)
Wikipedia places Winner in south-central South Dakota. → “which is exactly like South Central Los Angeles, except different in every possible way” — Wordplay, John — August 20th: Winner, South Dakota (2007-08-20, 00:01:24)
John says he finds himself saying outlandishly optimistic things while staring outside at the weather. → “Wow. That's going to be really great for the plants.” — Absurd, John — August 20th: Winner, South Dakota (2007-08-20, 00:02:58)
Hank's long hair would grow into his brain like Devil's Snare, so he'd cast a light spell. → “But it wouldn't work because there's no way to get light into my brain.” — Absurd, Hank — August 21: Hairy Hairy Head Hair (2007-08-21, 00:01:23)
John starts his 'in your pants' titles with a book on how people died. → “How did they die in your pants? Probably of suffocation.” — Wordplay, John — August 22nd: Um. Uh. IN YOUR PANTS (2007-08-22, 00:02:37)
Last 'in your pants' title: Virginia Euwer Wolff's Make Lemonade. → “which is, of course, a novel in verse about bedwetting” — Wordplay, John — August 22nd: Um. Uh. IN YOUR PANTS (2007-08-22, 00:03:07)
A greeter's rhyme warns John that at 30 he'll start getting shorter and his joints will ache, then offers him mercy. → “And since we are so merciful, we'll liquefy a cake.” — Absurd, a guest — August 24th: John's Secret Project Part 2 (2007-08-24, 00:00:47)
A greeter offers a scrambled birthday wish. → “Had hip party by John. That, my friend, is an anagram for happy birthday, John.” — Wordplay, a guest — August 23rd: John's Secret Project Part 1 (2007-08-24, 00:04:29)
Mom finally performs the Nerdfighter sign for the camera; John celebrates, then dismisses her. → “That was awesome! Okay, go away now.” — Absurd, John — August 28th: Starring Mom (2007-08-28, 00:02:16)
Hank opens John's birthday song by treating his turning 30 as the death of 29-year-old John. → “The day that you died was a good day.” — Absurd, Hank — August 29th: Goodbye 29 Year Old John (2007-08-29, 00:00:03)
Asked why 'communication' lacks an I in the intro, after 'there is no I in brotherhood' comes a blunter answer. → “Um, because there's no I in shut the f*** up.” — Wordplay, John and Hank — August 30th: A Secret Project for Nerdfighters (2007-08-30, 00:00:45)
One brother asks for a happy dance at the Hanging Gardens of Babylon; the other objects. → “You might have wanted to choose one of the major wonders of the world that still exists.” — Absurd, John and Hank — August 30th: A Secret Project for Nerdfighters (2007-08-30, 00:03:10)
Having learned choreographed dances are copyrighted, Hank turns on viewers. → “I will sue your ass if I see you doing my happy dance!” — Absurd, Hank — August 31: Copyright and Airports (2007-08-31, 00:01:43)
Hank reads Pittsburgh's boast that it has 'yesterday's airport of tomorrow' and decodes it. → “today's airport. The airport of today.” — Wordplay, Hank — August 31: Copyright and Airports (2007-08-31, 00:02:51)

2007-09

Naming a band for each genre, John reaches art rock. → “My art rock band would be called Schrodinger and the Maybe Dead Cats.” — Wordplay, John — September 4th: Negative Suck Cubed Equals Awesome (2007-09-04, 00:01:08)
Moving on to genres beyond 'blank and the blanks', John names his noise band. → “If I was in a noise band, we'd be from California, and we'd be called All Loud on the Western Front.” — Wordplay, John — September 4th: Negative Suck Cubed Equals Awesome (2007-09-04, 00:02:17)
After threatening the express-lane lady with a Mortal Kombat fatality, Hank sings the refrain. → “I'm usually a very peaceful person but I'm gonna kill you.” — Absurd, Hank — September 5th: I'm Gonna Kill You (2007-09-05, 00:01:26)
Hank's note to the neighbour who just bought a giant SUV: 'I hope you know that we're fighting a war' → “so you can get your fat ass home from the grocery store.” — Satire, Hank — September 5th: I'm Gonna Kill You (2007-09-05, 00:01:43)
Reading Whitman's line telling readers not to feed on the specters in books, John breaks off. → “Actually, I really need everybody to keep feeding on the specters in books or else I'm out of a job.” — Self-deprecation, John — September 10th: Airports and Whitman (2007-09-10, 00:02:11)
After a suspenseful search of his scary basement for 'a very important thing', Hank finds the cat inside the floor. → “Some people have indoor cats. Some people have outdoor cats. We have an in-floor cat.” — Wordplay, Hank — September 11th: Floorcats, Recycling Bins and Memories (2007-09-11, 00:01:13)
John defends having felt bad for Kurt Cobain at Chris's age. → “every time Kurt Cobain coughed, he spit out more talent than Britney Spears has ever possessed” — Absurd, John — September 18: In Defense of Chris Crocker (2007-09-18, 00:01:04)
John adds 'in your pants' to a string of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys titles. → “And of course, Trouble in the Pipeline in your pants.” — Running bit, John — September 18: In Defense of Chris Crocker (2007-09-18, 00:02:32)
John strings the titles into the question the books supposedly ask children about what they are. → “a swamp monster full of lethal cargo that is a magical passport to danger capable of immense foul play and dirty deeds” — Wordplay, John — September 18: In Defense of Chris Crocker (2007-09-18, 00:03:02)
The second verse escalates his list of lucky breaks. → “Yeah when I ate that rat poison I didn't die” — Absurd, Hank — September 19th: The Luck of my Life (2007-09-19, 00:01:49)
In Hank's song listing his lucky breaks, John noticed one kind of luck was missing. → “how lucky you are to have a brother like me” — Absurd, John — Sept. 20th: Wacky String (2007-09-20, 00:00:42)
John admits he isn't a mathematician, so he consulted Brotherhood 2.0's resident mathematician about the October 1 deadline. → “he says that October 1st is potentially as little as 10 days away!” — Absurd, John — Sept. 20th: Wacky String (2007-09-20, 00:01:49)
Hank explains how to reach apples on the higher limbs with a ladder and a stick. → “and then you fall off the back of the ladder. Or very nearly.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — September 21: Court and Apples (2007-09-21, 00:02:54)
M. T. Anderson explains his art: the young lovers hang beside body parasites. → “love may be found within you, but it is also found very much in your mouth, in your eyebrows.” — Absurd, John — September 24: Airports and M. T. Anderson (2007-09-24, 00:01:55)
In the naturalist voice, Hank describes They Might Be Giants as a rare species of nerdfighter. → “gave me a glimpse into what it might be like to might be a giant” — Wordplay, Hank — September 25th: TMBG and NYT (2007-09-25, 00:00:46)
In the naturalist voice, Hank invites viewers to study his footage of the bra striking John Linnell. → “the blackness of the brassiere, the shocked look on the skinnier John's face, and the subsequent thrusting of the brassiere away from his instruments” — Visual gag, Hank — September 25th: TMBG and NYT (2007-09-25, 00:01:28)
Hank drops the British naturalist voice because it makes him cough. → “David Attenborough had to go. Sorry.” — Absurd, Hank — September 25th: TMBG and NYT (2007-09-25, 00:01:57)
The MIT hotel stands at the corner of Sydney and Green streets, their mother's name. → “Hank, it's Mom!” — Wordplay, John — September 26th: Norbert Wiener (2007-09-26, 00:00:00)
John tries to convey how much he loves Norbert Wiener. → “John Green is to Norbert Wiener as Chris Crocker is to Britney Spears.” — Absurd, John — September 26th: Norbert Wiener (2007-09-26, 00:02:19)
Hank weighs one hazard he thinks equal for both opponents. → “and that is the danger of being hurled upon” — Absurd, Hank — September 27th: Bionic Woman v. Helen Hunt on PCP (2007-09-27, 00:01:30)
Having chosen to comfort Helen Hunt, Hank declares his love in rhymes on her name. → “She faces the brunt of the twister of my burning want. Helen Hunt. Eh, mad about her.” — Wordplay, Hank — September 27th: Bionic Woman v. Helen Hunt on PCP (2007-09-27, 00:02:26)
John knew he'd marry Sarah when she told him the title of the plane-crash book she wrote as a kid. → “Thornton's Unscheduled Landing.” — Wordplay, John — September 28th: Nerdfighting!!! (2007-09-28, 00:01:40)

2007-10

Hank says cats don't mind having stuff put on them, then corrects himself about his own cat Cameo. → “She's a put stuff on me and I'll hit you in your face cat.” — Absurd, Hank — October 1st: Stuff on Heads...dot com??? (2007-10-01, 00:00:46)
Pants-outlet pants carry pineapples, the international sign for welcome. → “It's like saying, "Welcome to my pants"” — Running bit, John — Oct. 2nd: Brotherhood 2.0 on the Road (Literally) (2007-10-02, 00:01:50)
The narrator explains why the dog had to go rather than his games console. → “it was either him or my playstation 2, which doesn't even eat food and will never ever pee on the duvet” — Absurd, Hank — Oct 3rd: Baby I Sold Your Dog On EBay (2007-10-03, 00:01:22)
Listing the dog's crimes, the narrator names the last straw. → “He peed on season 2 of Deep Space 9 That's crossing the line” — Absurd, Hank — Oct 3rd: Baby I Sold Your Dog On EBay (2007-10-03, 00:01:53)
In the closing verse the narrator sums up the dog's obedience training. → “he could sit but he absolutely couldn't stay” — Wordplay, Hank — Oct 3rd: Baby I Sold Your Dog On EBay (2007-10-03, 00:03:36)
John likens his relationship with outside to a healthy one with an ex-girlfriend: he wishes it well, visits sometimes, but needs boundaries. → “outside is not allowed inside my home!” — Absurd, John — October 4th: Happy Dances, Feuds, and Raccoon Infestations (2007-10-04, 00:01:33)
Hank explains why Obama's coal problem doesn't bother John, recalling John's feelings about outside. → “Maybe it's because outside doesn't have the kind of influence over you that outside should have.” — Callback, Hank — October 5th: Feuding, Goonies and Politics (2007-10-05, 00:00:45)
John's list of ever more incredulous questions for Rudy Giuliani supporters. → “Question 10. Rudy Giuliani. Huh. Fascinating.” — Satire, John — October 8th: Zombies v. Unicorns (2007-10-08, 00:01:11)
John explains what is wrong with unicorns. → “Unicorns are like all the worst parts of horses plus all the worst parts of rhinoceri.” — Absurd, John — October 8th: Zombies v. Unicorns (2007-10-08, 00:02:33)
Mid-argument about Obama's climate policy, Hank remembers the brothers are supposed to be feuding. → “Feuding! I forgot. I should be screaming.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — October 9th: The Feud Continues (2007-10-09, 00:01:47)
A politician shows a great hand of promises and gets elected. → “And you elect it, and it's like, just kidding. I'm the Joker!” — Absurd, John — October 10th: A Spoilerific Attack on Unicorns (2007-10-10, 00:00:39)
John's mock-Aristotelian chain from unicorn blood to Voldemort to Tonks' death. → “and you like unicorns, you killed Tonks. Not to mention Hedwig.” — Absurd, John — October 10th: A Spoilerific Attack on Unicorns (2007-10-10, 00:02:22)
After urging viewers to come out on National Coming Out Day, Hank announces he is leaving a 'non-traditional closet'. → “but I am a gigantic fan of Japanese pop music.” — Self-deprecation, Hank — October 11th National Coming Out Day (2007-10-11, 00:01:56)
John starts naming whom he would have picked to win the Nobel Peace Prize. → “Actually, actually, it would have been us.” — Absurd, John — October 12th: Carbon Re-Neutralizing Brotherhood 2.0 (2007-10-12, 00:00:14)
After signing off, John adds a message for global warming skeptics. → “Buy beachfront property and call me in 50 years.” — Satire, John — October 12th: Carbon Re-Neutralizing Brotherhood 2.0 (2007-10-12, 00:03:51)
Hank qualifies his claim that video blogs beat books. → “For example, Harry Potter would be a horrible video blog.” — Absurd, Hank — Oct 15th: Happy 16th Birthday B20 (2007-10-15, 00:02:23)
Touring his shelves, John notes the Islam and Christianity sections sit next to each other. → “separated by the wicker basket that keeps them from fighting with each other” — Absurd, John — October 16th: John's Library Pwns (2007-10-16, 00:01:12)
John reads Hank an entry from the diary he kept as a boy, dated the same day of the year. → “Today was the best day. My brother got sick.” — Absurd, John — October 16th: John's Library Pwns (2007-10-16, 00:03:01)
After showing two separate collections of books about conjoined twins, John makes a modest boast. → “I've read more books about conjoined twins than there are actual living conjoined twins in the world” — Absurd, John — October 16th: John's Library Pwns (2007-10-16, 00:03:25)
Stacking ever higher with no straight piece in sight, the singer loses his temper at the unseen villain. → “give me a goddamn straight piece!” — Absurd, Hank — October 17th: The Man Who Throws The Tetris Piece (2007-10-17, 00:01:44)
John asks Hank why people in Dayton, Ohio use Google. → “It's because Dayton, Ohio anagrams to I Don't Yahoo.” — Wordplay, John — October 18: Live from Datyon: PARTY BLOWER SOLO (2007-10-18, 00:00:43)
Not wanting to overstate the Party Blower Solo, John proposes playing it to enough people in Israel and Palestine. → “it could potentially result in a sensible two-state solution.” — Absurd, John — October 18: Live from Datyon: PARTY BLOWER SOLO (2007-10-18, 00:01:12)
Having crossed into Idaho, Hank sums up the state. → “Idaho is actually exactly like Montana, except more downhill.” — Absurd, Hank — October 19th: Missoula to Seattle (2007-10-19, 00:01:38)
John acts out 17th-century bad ideas: enslaving non-Europeans, then puzzling over smallpox. → “Hey, do you mind if I cough directly into your mouth? No, be my guest, go right ahead.” — Absurd, John — October 22nd: The Anniversary of Young Earth Creationism (2007-10-22, 00:00:39)
'Let It Snow' also anagrams to the motto of the National Association of Poor Spelling Weavers. → “We knit lots.” — Wordplay, John — October 22nd: The Anniversary of Young Earth Creationism (2007-10-22, 00:02:01)
John imagines museum titles for the still frame of Hank's previous video. → “Bucktooth McGee has seen the face of the Lord?” — Visual gag, John — October 24th: RANDOM NERDFIGHTING (2007-10-24, 00:00:36)
Testing whether nerdfighters fight nerds, John asks if Power Rangers range against power and gets lost in the phrase. → “Does it mean that they're rangers of power? Or rangers with power? Or rangers in favor of power?” — Wordplay, John — October 24th: RANDOM NERDFIGHTING (2007-10-24, 00:01:34)
Kiva became so popular that lenders outnumbered listed entrepreneurs. → “They ran out of poor people.” — Absurd, John — October 24th: RANDOM NERDFIGHTING (2007-10-24, 00:02:42)
Hank reads out the long technical title of his college research paper. → “What that translates to is cancer cure from pine cones?” — Self-deprecation, Hank — October 25th: Down Memory Lane (2007-10-25, 00:00:53)
John imagines viewers scoffing at Nepal still having Maoist rebels. → “Maoist rebels are the contemporary insurgency, what, like, Friendster is to contemporary social networks.” — Absurd, John — OCT. 26: DISCUSSING NEPAL WHILE EATING TOILET PAPER (2007-10-26, 00:00:05)
John finally swallows the fifth sheet of toilet paper, ten months after failing the challenge. → “Yes! I am the toilet paper eating king of the world!” — Running bit, John — OCT. 26: DISCUSSING NEPAL WHILE EATING TOILET PAPER (2007-10-26, 00:03:10)
Alvin expects Rick to cry about his dead father. → “Instead, he just said, My mourn days are over.” — Absurd, Hank — October 29th: It Just Isn't Fair (2007-10-29, 00:02:18)
After the author note admits much of the story isn't true, Hank sums up John. → “Nerdfighter from birth!” — Absurd, Hank — October 29th: It Just Isn't Fair (2007-10-29, 00:02:44)
John reads the cover of his childhood book, where the cool kid wears hiked-up plaid pants. → “Hank, I was such a nerd that I thought the nerds were cool.” — Self-deprecation, John — Oct. 30th: My Name Is John Green. And I'm a Nerd. (2007-10-30, 00:00:52)
John shows his third-grade report on Thomas Edison. → “Thomas Edison, you know, who's famous for inventing the boom box.” — Absurd, John — Oct. 30th: My Name Is John Green. And I'm a Nerd. (2007-10-30, 00:01:20)
Four years older than the other tee-ball players, John still missed the all-star team. → “I was beat out by a nice kid named Bryce, who was, I think, four.” — Self-deprecation, John — Oct. 30th: My Name Is John Green. And I'm a Nerd. (2007-10-30, 00:02:54)
His parents had a consolation trophy made for him. → “And the trophy says "John Green, 1984, all-star... in our hearts."” — Self-deprecation, John — Oct. 30th: My Name Is John Green. And I'm a Nerd. (2007-10-30, 00:03:23)

2007-11

A six-year-old trick-or-treater says 'L'etat c'est moi'; John asks if he is Louis XIV. → “And he said, oui! Trick-or-treat!” — Absurd, John — November 1st: When Nerdfighters Fall in Nerdfighter-Like (2007-11-01, 00:00:49)
Mid-sentence about Nerdfighteria and Liechtenstein, John wonders whether Nerdfighters could take Liechtenstein over. → “I mean, I know that nerds aren't known for their military capabilities, but does Lichtenstein even have a standing army?” — Absurd, John — November 1st: When Nerdfighters Fall in Nerdfighter-Like (2007-11-01, 00:01:19)
Explaining why the long-distance Nerdfighter couple need to meet, John reassures young viewers. → “Mommy and Daddy Nerdfighters don't do anything but touch.” — Absurd, John — November 1st: When Nerdfighters Fall in Nerdfighter-Like (2007-11-01, 00:01:58)
Hank called the award footage the moment John realized his writing could connect him to the world. → “I think it's far more likely that that was the first moment I ever realized that a girl might, for even one second, like me.” — Self-deprecation, John — November 5th: John's Not Happy about Pakistan (2007-11-05, 00:00:49)
John warns Hank this week's vlogs will be like Alberto Contador at the Tour de France. → “which is to say that I'm going to go really fast and I might have to use steroids to do it.” — Absurd, John — November 5th: John's Not Happy about Pakistan (2007-11-05, 00:01:16)
Hank complains that AirTran gives only gourmet pretzels, however long the flight. → “They're happy to share with you these little packets of desiccated doom.” — Absurd, Hank — Nov (2007-11-06, 00:01:09)
After Sharif is told to leave or die in jail, John delivers a line he has been saving. → “Sharif, needless to say, don't like it.” — Wordplay, John — November 7: Discussing the Political Situation in Pakistan (2007-11-07, 00:02:54)
Hank asks permission to eat the John Green Peep, echoing John's Pakistan-while-eating video. → “And I'll eat you while discussing the political situation in Chad.” — Callback, Hank — November 8th: SUGAR HIGH! (2007-11-08, 00:02:00)
Not knowing what the Inky trophy will look like, John hopes its inscription echoes his 'tortured history with trophies'. → “we can only hope that it's going to say John Green, winner of the 2007 Silver Inky. in our hearts.” — Callback, John — Nov 15: Jay-Z, the Inkys, Nerdfighteria, and Venn Diagrams! (2007-11-15, 00:01:08)
The long-awaited phone call finally comes and John is overjoyed. → “this is so much better than the part of my day when the doctor was giving me a prostate exam” — Absurd, John — November 19th: HOORAY HOORAY HAPPY HOORAY! (2007-11-19, 00:01:40)
Hank, baffled by the near-naked men on the walls of Abercrombie & Fitch, ranks the store. → “Abercrombie & Fitch is gayer than both Claire's and the beef stick stand.” — Absurd, Hank — November 23rd: BLACK FRIDAY! (2007-11-23, 00:01:21)
His childhood book starts with him hating a fox and ends with a lonely character no one plays with. → “Does no one like me because I hate foxes?” — Absurd, John — Nov. 26th: Writing Advice (And Notes on Surnameless Tiffany) (2007-11-26, 00:01:37)
The elf story spends its time on Mom never believing his outrageous lies, not on the elf. → “give me more Elf!” — Absurd, John — Nov. 26th: Writing Advice (And Notes on Surnameless Tiffany) (2007-11-26, 00:03:32)
John suggests Amy Winehouse snorts every few minutes to keep her liquified brain in her head, explaining her cancelled concerts. → “She has liquid brain! I'd cancel my concerts, too!” — Absurd, John — November 28th: Amy Winehouse and Brain Liquefication (2007-11-28, 00:01:37)
Hank tells Phil about a dream of him in a kinky cartoon-costume club, and Phil gets defensive. → “Oh. Phil, that is weird.” — Absurd, Hank — November 29th: sXePhil, Leaky Brains and a Secret Project (2007-11-29, 00:00:10)
Hank says he'd love to write a song about Christmas or about eating your wife. → “God, not that way. Sexy Phil fans are so disturbed.” — Wordplay, Hank — November 29th: sXePhil, Leaky Brains and a Secret Project (2007-11-29, 00:01:31)
John imagines toy soldiers and elves teaming up: hijacking Santa's sleigh and putting lead paint in all our toys. → “we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves because all the lead poisoning made us stupid.” — Absurd, John — Nov. 30th: A CHRISTMAS RANT (2007-11-30, 00:01:38)

2007-12

Asked 'Who's Hank?', John describes his brother as if he were the Sun. → “Hank is a mass of incandescent gas located about 26,000 light years from the center of the Milky Way.” — Absurd, John — December 4th: Question Tuesday!!!! (2007-12-04, 00:01:08)
Asked whether he'd rather have heat vision or the power to fly, John picks flying. → “R. Kelly and I have exactly one thing in common. We believe we can fly.” — Wordplay, John — December 4th: Question Tuesday!!!! (2007-12-04, 00:02:07)
Asked his opinion of the 1969 Woodstock concert, John says it was surely excellent but lacked public toilets. → “I have a strict policy against attending under-toileted events.” — Absurd, John — December 4th: Question Tuesday!!!! (2007-12-04, 00:02:48)
After allowing he might secretly be Mary Tyler Moore, John is asked what he did before Looking for Alaska was published. → “I was the star of a television show called The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” — Callback, John — December 4th: Question Tuesday!!!! (2007-12-04, 00:02:48)
The narrator tells his partner she looks so good he wants to sprinkle her on his food. → “If I could I would eat you like a five year old eats glue” — Absurd, Hank — December 5th: The Adorable Cannibal (PG-13) (2007-12-05, 00:00:25)
Everyone loves Chinese food, the narrator sings, but his love of food went further. → “But I used to want to procreate with every plate that I ate” — Absurd, Hank — December 5th: The Adorable Cannibal (PG-13) (2007-12-05, 00:01:13)
John counts down the top three jokes viewers made about his nerd glasses. → “And number one, you look exactly like Uncle Junior from The Sopranos.” — Self-deprecation, John — Dec. 6th: Peer Pressure and the Green Green Manifesto (2007-12-06, 00:00:00)
John's 'hypothetical' two-year-old could be his brother or a friend. → “I'm not gonna name any names, but he's probably my brother.” — Absurd, John — Dec. 6th: Peer Pressure and the Green Green Manifesto (2007-12-06, 00:00:39)
Hank was the more physical brother. → “While John's abuse generally came out of his mouth, my abuse one time landed on his mouth.” — Wordplay, Hank — December 7th: Fight Night with the Green Bros. (2007-12-07, 00:00:41)
Video blogging lets the brothers avoid interrupting each other or sharing space. → “three minutes a day is probably a very manageable dosage of sibling.” — Absurd, Hank — December 7th: Fight Night with the Green Bros. (2007-12-07, 00:01:23)
Punched in the mouth, John got angry only because he feared for his braces. → “Which is pretty much the nerdiest response to getting punched in the mouth ever.” — Absurd, Hank — December 7th: Fight Night with the Green Bros. (2007-12-07, 00:02:30)
Explaining that film adaptations take a long time, John offers another example. → “the excellent book Beowulf, which was released, I believe, 1100 years ago, and then the movie came out last month.” — Absurd, John — Dec. 10: MY BOOK IS GONNA BE A MOVIE!!! (someday) (2007-12-10, 00:01:12)
John tells Hank the studio moguls must be watching Brotherhood 2.0. → “because God knows they're not watching the crap they're putting on television right now.” — Satire, John — Dec. 10: MY BOOK IS GONNA BE A MOVIE!!! (someday) (2007-12-10, 00:02:40)
John's letter mourns, in leetspeak, that teenagers will not woot, pwn noobs or steal warez today. → “Indeed, December 12th, 2007 will be forever remembered as the day the lulz died.” — Wordplay, John — Dec. 12th: w00t is the WORD OF THE YEAR?! (2007-12-12, 00:01:33)
Complaining that woot 'apexed' in 2006, John catches his own coinage. → “I just made up that word. I am such a neologist. I also made up neologist.” — Wordplay, John — Dec. 12th: w00t is the WORD OF THE YEAR?! (2007-12-12, 00:02:02)
John's letter declares that Nerdfighter beats woot and everyone knows it. → “if you don't know what a nerdfighter is, I don't know how you wake up every morning and call yourself a lexicographer.” — Absurd, John — Dec. 12th: w00t is the WORD OF THE YEAR?! (2007-12-12, 00:02:32)
Watching the footage, Hank notices a disturbing trend: at every step Katherine is the one doing the work. → “I'm sorry, baby. But I gotta film more videos!” — Self-deprecation, Hank — December 13: Mailing Shopping Thanking. It Must Be Christmas (2007-12-13, 00:02:07)
After Maureen Johnson says she likes Hank more, John concedes that the teen authors of America love Hank. → “But as I always remind myself, it's not a competition. Because if it were a competition, I'd lose.” — Self-deprecation, John — Dec. 14th: John and Maureen Johnson: LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY (2007-12-14, 00:01:27)
Asked 'Who the F is Hank?', John answers like an encyclopedia entry about a Pacific island colonized by the Spanish in 1521. → “Hank is today known primarily for his beautiful coral reefs and large American military presence.” — Absurd, John — Dec 18th: The Project for Awesome and Question Tuesday!!! (2007-12-18, 00:02:36)
Asked who would be eaten first if both brothers were trapped in a 2 by 2 meter white room, John questions the question. → “a 2 meter by 2 meter room only has two dimensions, and that means that we would only have two dimensions.” — Wordplay, John — Dec 18th: The Project for Awesome and Question Tuesday!!! (2007-12-18, 00:03:07)
The song claims the Project for Awesome's shared thumbnail beat YouTube's usual attention-grabbing thumbnails. → “Their center screenshot was actually more powerful than two boobs” — Satire, Hank — December 19: The Day that the Nerds Took Over YouTube (2007-12-19, 00:01:38)
Dismissing the idea of releasing a squirrel into Hank's undergarments, John lists who would be harmed. → “and perhaps most of all, it would be harmful to the undergarments.” — Absurd, John — December 20th: HANK SHALL BE PUNISHED! (2007-12-20, 00:02:01)
WhatTheBuck suggests Hank watch Ashley Tisdale's YouTube channel; John finds that too cruel. → “Gosh, Buck, he just textually communicated with me. It's not like he killed a man.” — Satire, John — December 20th: HANK SHALL BE PUNISHED! (2007-12-20, 00:02:01)
Hank's nightmare of failing to play the Violent Femmes' big song resolves in an unexpected way. → “It would have sucked a lot more if it hadn't turned out that, like, the world was ending” — Absurd, Hank — December 21: Hank Accepts His Punishment (2007-12-21, 00:01:22)
John explains why humans, not goats, became the dominant and most intellectual species. → “very difficult to accomplish much when you have to poop every 11 seconds” — Absurd, John — Dec. 26th: Christmas, Manga, and Goat Poop (2007-12-26, 00:01:25)
Katherine says the concert could have been worse; Hank agrees and names how. → “I could have been hit in the face with a vial of transmissible cancer.” — Absurd, Hank — December 27th: The Gig! (2007-12-27, 00:03:07)
John recalls that every joke he told at eleven built up and up to the punchline. → “Poop. The punch line was always poop, Hank.” — Self-deprecation, John — Dec. 28th: John's Last Brotherhood 2.0 Video (2007-12-28, 00:00:57)
After listing 2007 YouTube moments ending with someone saying 'don't tase me bro', the song explains the project's name. → “We took that bro and we added 2.0” — Wordplay, John and Hank — Dec 31: Goodbye Brotherhood 2.0 (2007-12-31, 00:00:40)